Chapter One, Part Two

My hands instinctively rushed to my neck as I gasped awake. My heart beat so fast it could have escaped my chest.

Looking around, I noticed the fluffy warmth of quilts covering me as I lay in a simple four-post bed. The walls were made of stone plastered in a pale purple paint, a few cracks in the corners sheltering spider webs.

A small wooden desk was pushed up at the right side of a door. An oil candle and scattered papers littered it. Opposite was a dressing table with a mirror hung on the wall above. The room itself was pretty small.

It was my old room at the Heversham estate, where I had lived before my marriage with Baron Asher. My heart calmed down as I recognised this familiar scenario.

Hauling myself out of bed, I rushed to the dirtied mirror. Wiping it clean with the cream sleeve of my nightgown.

This face, this shoulder-length raven hair, and dark forest green eyes looking back. It was me. But not the woman I was, the girl I used to be.

The only difference was a noticeable scar that now stretched across my neck.

My body relaxed as a sigh left my lips. So, it happened again. I thought it might have.

Moving away from the mirror, I turned towards my desk, picking up the scattered papers. I rummaged through them, only finding notes on the math and literature books piled neatly on the shelf above.

Until finally, I found something.

It was a note written in my hand, they all were, but it was clear, and it was dated.

Turning back round to the mirror, I stared at myself again. It was 1567, the year I turned Twenty-one. I married Baron Asher when I was Twenty-two and died on the year of my Thirty-first in the autumn of 1578.

I had gone back in time again.

Feeling the strength drain from my legs, I returned to the bed and fell onto my back. That would make three deaths, and this is my fourth revival.

I never returned to the same moment.

It was always slightly forward in time to my last.

My memories were fuzzy, but I knew my most emotional moments. They were burned into my mind. I closed my eyes to try and recall precise details of less essential memories, but my head immediately hurt.

Ow, I should know better than to do that.

I knew from experience in my last repeated lives that my emotions and habits gained from maturing reverted to the mind of my younger self.

I had seen a mature version of myself in my dreams. So I knew I had lost something of that part of myself whenever I regressed. My memories always returned fully to my dreams.

Lifting my arm, I glanced at the silver bracelet dangling from my thin underfed wrist. The black gems that had been set in it were now all gone. Every death resulted in one disappearing, I had my suspicion on my first death, but the second confirmed it when a gem vanished again. Now there weren't any left.

So was this my last life?

A slight knock on the door made me stiffen.

"Lynette?" A bored tone didn't waste time in opening the door. I turned my head slightly to look at my visitor, careful to pull the collar of my nightgown up enough to cover my neck scar. It wouldn't be easy to explain why that suddenly appeared.

A maid dressed in a simple black dress and white apron opened the door, her ginger hair was pinned up in a loose bun, and it bobbed as she searched my room before settling on my figure upon the bed.

"Here, my Lady, water for your morning face wash". She sighed as her blue eyes looked at me on the bed. She walked over the hardwood floor to drop the freshwater basin on my bedraggled desk. Water splashed out onto some of my papers from her clumsy handling.

"Thanks, Freda". I waved my hand at her to leave. Freda was officially my personal maid.

She was chosen after failing a bet with the other maids. I didn't mind much, as Freda wasn't all that bad. Maybe a bit neglectful, but she did not actively go out of her way to bully me.

After all, no one wanted to be close to the Crazy Cerue Lady that was me.

I couldn't stop my smirk as I thought of that nickname the other Nobles in Talbour gave me.

A Cerue was a tiny demonic beast coated in black fur resembling a cat. They tended to go rabid for no apparent reason and were considered pests.

I didn't know how to handle my emotions in my first life. So, I lashed out a lot, which resulted in my reputation. I think I once brought a weapon to a social event and threatened the hostess. It may have been one of Fathers Jians. That did cause a stir.

"Clean up quickly, my Lady. The Lord wants to eat breakfast early today so he can meet your brothers", Freda informed me before ungracefully closing my door on her way out.

I stared at the door briefly before finding the will to pull myself up. This wasn't the first time I had come back in time after death, but this time?

I was tired.

Tired of doing this all over again.

Slowly I made my way to the wash basin and dipped my finger into the water. It was luke warm, better than the stone cold basins my last maid used to bring me.

At least when I was married to Garret, the maids took care of me. However, it may have been out of pity from all the beatings I received rather than that they liked me. I was lucky Freda was my maid in this household. She at least somewhat did her job well.

Taking the plunge, I splashed the luke warm water onto my face scrubbing my eyes and the fresh scar on my neck as though I could clean it away. Pulling my collar down a little further, I inspected it some more. It was reasonably smooth and straight. The blade had given a clean cut. Following it, I found it stretched around the circumference of my neck, so there was no hiding it with makeup.

I sighed again; I guess I'm going to have to start wearing choker necklaces from now on.

Did I even have any?

Opening the desk drawer, I picked up my red velvet jewellery box and hunted for something I could use. After pulling out numerous pearls, I finally found a plain simple dark green ribbon. It would have to do for now. As I was about to put the box away, I paused, glancing at the bracelet on my wrist. The dainty silver chain had three empty gem settings. It was still beautiful but perhaps useless now.

Nevertheless, after consideration, I decided to keep wearing it. This bracelet was the only thing I had of worth on me when Cassandra, the Viscountess, found me wandering the streets of Wayward Town as an urchin.

I don't remember where I got it or how I ended up in Wayward Town as a child. My first memories are of starving and begging for scraps from the town baker's shop. If the Viscountess hadn't decided to adopt me, I'd have probably died as a child.

Most of the townsfolk in Wayward had ignored me, afraid of my raven hair, green eyes and terra-cotta skin. Common traits of people from Dramor, the neighbouring Empire.

There had been speculation about how I ended up in the Zopan Empire. However, with my lack of memory and scraggy torn clothing, it was determined I must have come from the forgotten woods splitting the two countries.

The magic in those woods was so dense and ancient that anyone caught wandering into them either never returned or, if they did, had no recollection of who they were. If that truly is where I came from, it was a miracle I came out the other side into the Zopan empire at all.

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Sitting on the stool at my desk, I studied the bracelet more. It was made up of three separate silver chains twisted together. Three small charms dangled from it where the black gems once sat.

I had often thought about how it worked. However, no matter how much I tried to research the books I had access to, I never found anything. Nothing could explain how it granted me the ability to cheat death. At least, there was nothing in the books that were permitted to the public.

No known magic has that power. Not that I know of. No summoner has ever contracted a time beast. That would have been first-page news.

I had only one conclusion; the only possible answer must be with the Gods. Gods, I never paid attention to in any of my previous lives.

Honestly, I didn't think they were plausible to be worth considering.

The pain I have suffered has created a seed of distrust in them. I often avoid them in conversation and never visit the temples.

Perhaps this time, I should.

Moving to my wardrobe, I picked a green dress to match the green ribbon I had tied around my neck. Stepping into the skirt's ruffles, I lifted it over my shoulders, the bell sleeves hanging over my shoulders as I bent my arms to fasten the buttons of the bodice.

Usually, my maid should assist me with this, but as a forgotten Lady in this house, that was a whimsical dream. Freda had offered once, but i hadn't trusted her enough. Besides, no one should see my death scars. That would raise too many questions I really couldn't explain.

I got about half of them buttoned before I couldn't reach the rest. Then, dropping my arms, I turned to an angle to see the buttons in the mirror.

Closing my eyes, I slowed my breathing to centre myself. It was challenging to do this after reviving.

Looking into myself, I visualised my blood running through my veins, then concentrated on the feeling. Calming my heart some more to slow down its pace.

I tried to pick up on the sense of something foreign to my blood, something small and almost non-existent.

After a few minutes, something finally sparked within me as a tiny white mote flickered in my mind's eye. Grasping it, I tugged, and it sprang to my fingertips swiftly. Though small and alone, it was enough for what I wanted.

Opening my eyes to look back into the mirror, I moved my fingers, directing the mote of white towards the buttons at the back of my bodice. It fluttered, almost fizzling out at my weak control, but finally attached to the buttons, and I watched as they were tied together with Aether.

Core magic, I possessed it, but it was frustratingly weak.

I could only manage to do simple tasks like buttoning my dress or stirring a spoon in my tea. It was so weak. All the tests I had done as a child resulted in my Core being non-existent. As a result, I was considered a mortal like the majority of commoners in the Zopan Empire.

I couldn't sense my Core at all in my first and second life. To the dismay of my family, this meant I wasn't worth much. Just another useless mouth to feed. My only value was in my marriage.

Only in my third life, married to Garret, did I learn I have a Core. For many days I shut myself up in my room in his mansion. Alone, with nothing else to do as I avoided that man, I meditated to occupy my time.

No books are legally allowed to be sold regarding Aether and Mote Cores. So my discovery during my mediation of its existence was pure chance. I still do not fully understand what Aether is.

Only soldiers, Summoners in the royal Army are taught such knowledge.

This time alone allowed me to practice what I could from the little I had seen of Aether used by my Father. Eventually, I learned how to sense the Aether in my blood. The many hours and days of learning this seemed to have stuck with my mind when crossing over to my fourth life.

However, the power was the same, a single insufficient mote of Aether. Most average commoners who had a Core could at least control twenty motes of Aether. This was just how weak I was.

Dragging a brush quickly through my wavy raven hair, I pinned a pearl to the side to hold my fringe back. Then, happy with my simple overall look, I left my room, gently closing the door into the empty hallway.

My room was at the back of the Manor, away from the main floors my family resided on. Only empty rooms were beside my own.

As I stepped down the echoing hallway, I looked at the paintings hung on the walls. Each was a portrait of the various family heads that had passed in the Heversham family. Some with their families altogether, some included valiant poses with their swords, and others their feathered pens symbolising their political skill.

I neared the end of where the most recent painting hung. Roger Heversham, the current head, his deceased wife Cassandra, and their three children were together with happy smiles. It was a stark reminder that I wasn't blood-related to this family, excluded from the picture.

It was painted on a day my oldest brother Eduard had confined me to my room for lashing out in public at a party. I can't remember the details now. It was so long ago. It meant little now after three lifetimes. Perhaps that was the day I insinuated another noble of being unfaithful to their wife?

Leaving the hallway of paintings, I moved to descend the mahogany stairs. Mage lamps hung on the pristine white walls illuminating the foyer below. It had been many years since I was last in this Manor, and I had somewhat forgotten its grandeur. My heeled shoes echoed on the wooden floors as I turned the corner to head to the dining room.

Standing in front of the doors was an elderly man dressed in a fine black suit with a pocket watch nestled in his right hand, clothed in white gloves.

Henley, our butler, watched me approach with a frown on his face.

"The Lord has been waiting. You're late", he tutted, putting the watch away.

"I'm here now, aren't I?" I refuted his rudeness. As an honorary Lady of House Heversham, it wasn't a butler's place to tut at me or get annoyed at my actions. Before, in my first life, I had never picked up on his disdain for me, but now, it was apparent.

Henley cast me a curious glance. "This way" was all he had to say, opening the doors.

Bright morning light hit me as I entered the dining room. A rectangular table was in the centre of the room, draped in an expensive white cloth.

Three sets of plates were arranged at the far end of the table, and cutlery was placed neatly onto light blue napkins.

At the head sat Roger Heversham. His piercing dark blue eyes glared at me under a shroud of his light brown greying hair. He had a strict face with deep-set wrinkles stemming from a permanent frown. His look was unnerving, but I ignored it.

To his left sat Kara, my adoptive sister. She beamed at me, her blonde ringlets bouncing as she turned her head. She was a pretty young girl with many admirers.

"Lynette! There you are! Come sit, sit." Kara waved her hand to the seat on Rogers' right. I returned her smile and moved to sit.

None of the maids standing at the edge of the room had stepped forward to pull the chair out for me, typical.

"What took you so long, sleepy head." Kara giggled at me, picking up one of the napkins to place on her knees.

"I had an issue with my jewellery". It wasn't exactly a lie, but I wasn't about to say that I was likely late because of Freda. I couldn't be sure, as I had just returned. Not that they would believe anything I had to say anyway.

"Your jewellery?" she cocked her head with innocent blue eyes. They were the same as her fathers, but yet, not the same at all.

"Yes, I will head to town after breakfast to buy more. I have discovered I don't own enough chokers", I spoke as the maids began to head toward a cart of food the chef had just brought in.

"Not enough?" My Father, Roger Heversham, finally made a peep. He observed me slowly placing down this morning's newspaper.

"Yes, not enough. I require more", I said, knowing his disapproval. He had never been happy with my spending.

I often bought many things in my first life I didn't need. I know now that I did it to try and make myself feel like I was one of them, as though I had received gifts from my family.

Instead, I only ever saw them bestow gifts among themselves. I had never received anything from them.

This made it difficult to hold back my pain when Kara was showered in gifts from our brothers. Whilst they ignored me.

To help with this pain, I took it upon myself to buy extravagant things with the money Roger would allow me. I had often grown exceedingly upset if he disallowed me from buying something.

On this occasion, though, I truly needed some more chokers, and acting like my once-spoilt self wasn't a bad way to get them. That's the Lynette my family is currently familiar with, after all.

"I will grant enough for only five" Roger turned his attention to Kara, deciding that conversation with me today was enough.

"Kara honey, how did your embroidery of the handkerchiefs go?" He smiled at her, something I had never received.

Kara's pink dress stood out against the blue-painted walls as she eagerly picked up her fork and began to tuck into a plate of freshly cooked poached eggs and toast.

"Oh, Father, I'm almost done! In time for Eduard and Callan's return, they should be finished by this afternoon."

"That's wonderful. I've made sure to prepare a welcoming meal for them. You can present it to them then". Roger placed down his newspaper as the maids gave him his plate of bacon, eggs, and toast.

I couldn't help the stiffening of my hands at the mention of my brothers, was today when they returned home? So... it must be the day of the parade.

"Here, my Lady", Freda quietly approached me to put my meal down made by our chefs. It was scrambled eggs, just that alone, no bread, nothing else.

I felt my eye twinge, they always gave me measly portions, but this was a child's portion. It was no wonder my body was malnourished. At least Garret had fed me well.

"Do you think they will like my new dress?" Kara asked, proud of the pink frills puffing from the skirt of her oversized dress.

"You look stunning, sweetie. They will both love it", Roger merrily complimented her. It was always like this when I was summoned to eat at the table. They spoke happily together, ignoring me. The kitchen staff would give me pitiful meals, and eventually, at the end of it, when I left, the tension would leave the room.

Kara was always the nice one to me. She had been the same, sweet, innocent, and utterly oblivious to my suffering in all my three lives.

Poking my fork into my eggs, I found numerous bits of shell left for an extra touch of inedible torture. It was well hidden from the eyes of others.

"Really!?" Kara exclaimed, "It was so difficult to decide. It was either this one or the one you bought m-"

"I'll be heading out now", I interrupted her, standing from my seat. "With your permission, my lord," I asked at the end. I was going to leave regardless.

"You've not finished your breakfast?" Roger questioned my full plate.

"It wasn't to my taste" I smiled at the maids, and they froze. "It had too much seasoning in it."

"Too much seasoning?" Roger furrowed his brows but did not attempt to look at my plate.

"It's nothing you should worry about" I smiled innocently. He had plenty of time to notice the numerous meals I never ate. There was no point in mentioning it to him. I had already tried that before, and he hadn't believed me. Or, as I was beginning to suspect, he did not really care. He never had.

"Freda?" I called.

"Yes, my Lady". Freda nervously approached me, her eyes darting to Roger and back to me.

"Fetch my satchel, will you, and the money the Viscount has granted me for shopping". I pushed the plate into her fumbling hands. "Deal with this as well" I waved a hand, stepping out of the room before my Father could respond.