“Just because I saved your life once does not mean I am seeking a permanent roommate. Do you not have your own housing? Did the horrid beast burn down your home when you let it follow you?” Hallow Zaya had informed me as I entered her home once again.
I hadn’t just thoughtlessly returned to her abode, this was a deliberate decision of mine. Though she tried to make it apparent that she didn’t want company, I was sure she wouldn’t deny me. Not while she still cared about her rootkin friends’ happiness, and not while the Rootkin were so…sentimental about me, for whatever reason. And who knew; while she claimed to be content with the friendships she had, perhaps she missed human friendships. Surely a goddess could kick me out if she wanted to, instead of complaining about my presence.
I didn’t explain my thought process to her, though, I only muttered, “Shut up.” Then I staggered wearily to one of her moss-cushioned benches and fell down on it. “How long have you been living in the woods by yourself? That sort of life sounds really…lonely.” Then I immediately covered my face with a groan. When did I get so sentimental? It was disgusting; I was almost tempted to leave again.
The past week had left me horribly drained. Not just physically, but emotionally. The rootkin. Imprisonment. Elian. Nania. Harrier. Kite. The Sun Fiend. Everything…I was too exhausted, and let those words slip out. First seeing me cry, then this…why did this Hallow have to always see me at my most vulnerable? How pathetic.
I slipped my hand down, expecting to see her staring at me with pity. To my relief, she wasn’t. Her lower lip poked out in an annoyed pout.
“I do have friends. I’ve known the Rootkin for…” she trailed off, apparently in thought, then shrugged and only said, “well. I’ve known them for a very long time and they’re very dear friends. And they’re a lot less exhausting than more humanoid people can be.”
I mumbled an agreement, then a few moments later added a half-hearted apology. She quickly changed the subject, apparently as uncomfortable with someone on the brink of crying in her home as I was, being on said brink. After some more back-and-forth, it was agreed that I could stay with Hallow Zaya for a few days, provided I helped her with chores. Having something menial to do with my hands grounded me far more than I thought it would. For the first time in perhaps my whole life, I did not feel in the mood to kill something. The feeling was both a relief and a weight.
That wasn’t to say I did not grow stronger at all. Though I was still leery about ‘talking’ to the rootkin too much, after a number of incredibly obvious hints to keep talking to them and give her some time to herself, I found that they were quite willing to help me with my channeling, and were probably the most skilled and knowledgeable channelers I had ever met. Being largely immobile upon reaching adulthood with senses completely different from any human or beast meant they needed to find other methods of communication.
Once a few days had passed, however, Hallow Zaya began to grow more obviously uncomfortable and antsy about my continued presence. No matter how helpful I was, another person in her house seemed to mean changes to her daily routine and way of living that she could only put up with for so long, and a few days had not been enough for her to regain the energy spent playing hostess to myself and—...to myself. Strangely, this seemed to be the only time she didn’t count the rootkin as ‘people’, it seemed she had a much easier time speaking and coexisting with them than with me. Eventually she cornered me and, as politely as she could manage, asked me what I was planning to do and how much longer I’d be staying. I appreciated her attempt at being gentle, though it occurred to me to tell her she didn’t need to bother. We were both the brutally honest type, after all.
“I’m…I’m still thinking,” I grumbled. The most frustrating thing, of course, was where could I even go? Only a few weeks ago, I had been anticipating the prospect of leaving with…with others, not by myself. And I now was struck by the realization that the world was vast. Our continent alone was immense, with expansive deserts, towering mountains, and impenetrable forests, not counting what lay beyond those natural barriers. Not even counting what lay beyond the boundless seas. It was simple enough to set a goal like growing strong enough to defeat the Sun Fiend, but the steps between setting it and reaching it had become foggy and muddled now; no longer could I easily envision them, when once it had all seemed so clear, so straightforward. I could aimlessly roam the world, seeking out powerful foes to defeat, but would it be enough? For the first time, I felt daunted by my oath.
Even the divine seemed incapable of helping me. I had already tried to ask Hallow Zaya what she could do to help me; no such luck: there existed no mystical potion or divinity-touched fruit that could give me power to match the divine, nor was the Hallow aware of any secret weakness of the Fiend. Even my new channeling teachers had their limits. Before, I had always felt that Elian and I stood head and shoulders above our fellow warriors in terms of strength and strategy in terms of raw will to emerge victorious, and perhaps we still did, but our greatest foes were no longer our kinsmen or monsters. I was now acutely aware of the limitations that came with being human.
…Stars above and below. I was beginning to sound like Kite. It caused me to cringe internally at the realization, the memory.
Still, Zaya did not seem more or less annoyed by my stalling. Or rather, she was annoyed; she was just struggling not to show it or lose patience, and avoided rushing me out. “If you don’t know, then that’s fine,” she said, her tone making her words short and clipped. “I just need…space, sometimes. And Hwyll and Noch are concerned about inertia—er. That if you stay at rest too long, you will never begin to move again. An object at rest tends to remain at rest, it is said. But. If you will hear. I have a way to solve both of our problems.” She set out a piece of paper upon the table. “It has been a very, very long time since the last time I left the Deep Woods. If you could provide me with these listed plants and medicines that I’ve run out of.”
“The goddess of flowers can’t create plants for herself?”
Her lower lip pinched. “That’s not how it works. Only a God of Life can make new life, confer immortality, or revive the dead. And the Crowns are the only Gods of Life. I can do a great deal with plants and flowers, but I need the seeds first.”
“Right.” I leaned over the table and squinted at the paper, left in deep thought for a few moments as I analyzed it. It was covered entirely by scribbles I couldn’t make any sense of. Presumably it was some sort of language, though.
“...I can’t read this language,” I said. Zaya smacked her own forehead.
“...Right.” She muttered to herself for a few moments, then asked, “Would…especially detailed pictures do?”
I wasn’t sure which I found more annoying, Zaya forgetting how much of the way she lived and the things she knew weren’t common knowledge for mortals, or the way she overcorrected and condescended when she was reminded. Still, I didn’t think she was trying to offend me, just overcompensating, and I was the one relying on her hospitality, so I tried to keep my sentences short and my temper in check. “Maybe. How detai—”
A knock at the door echoed through the house, interrupting our discussion and waking Crim up from his nap. Any possibility of ignoring the knock was dispersed, as the phoenix began a bout of raucous squawking and flapping. Quickly, Zaya stood up and waved me away towards the door. “You get it; I’ll get the bird.”
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Unwilling to argue, I stood and grabbed my bow; my daggers had been taken by the Greshan army and I hadn’t taken the time to find them again while on my way out of that cursed place. Carefully, I opened the door, only for my heart to drop to my stomach. Who else but Elian and Nania were on the other side. As soon as they noticed me, both reacted: Elian’s expression slipped back into that false-smile of his, obviously hiding deeper distress, while Nania’s bright green eyes sparkled with recognition.
Despite her happiness, seeing her standing next to Elian felt like a betrayal. A sudden surge of emotions had made me queasy. I reached across the doorway to grasp at the doorframe, disguising my attempt to keep myself upright as blocking their way into the goddess’ home. “You—what are you doing here? She’s not fond of visitors,” I asked, with a pointed glare at Gresha’s young king.
“Talon—? Wait, who is she—you’re joking, this can’t really be the home of the Goddess of Fl—?” She looked between Elian and I, a number of mixed emotions flitting across her face--relief, happiness, eager curiosity, even frustration and anger. Who were those last two directed, at, though? Before she could say anything more, Elian cut her off in a sickeningly chipper tone. Clearly, he was overplaying his usual facade.
“Talon, good t’see you. Were you just leaving? We’re really just here for Hallow Zaya, don’t mind us, but I’m the only one who needs to talk to her,” he chirped, “and I’m sure you and Nia have a lot you want to get caught up on—”
This time Nania interrupted him by smacking him on the shoulder. It shouldn’t have hurt him at all, but he did stop talking—at the brought me some sense of relief.
“Elian,” she said in a warning tone.
To my surprise, a small chuckle slipped out of me from watching her scold him. She’d always had quite the temper, but it seemed she recently found the edge to match her rage. Taking a chance to really look her over, it seemed she had changed a lot, even if it had only been a few weeks since we last saw each other. She stood up straight now, seeming taller and more grounded, no longer the shrinking hatchling but instead a sharp-eyed bird of prey. Though I could glimpse the odd bead of sweat on her temple or streak of dirt on her dress, next to Elian, she looked otherworldly and angelic.
Elian was dressed down, compared to all the jewelry and finery Lordrin had worn, and his hair still hadn’t grown back in. Not that all the finery in the world would do anything to hide how pale Elian’s skin seemed now. Something seemed wrong, and out of habit I almost asked if he was okay, but I couldn’t really bring myself to worry over my ex-friend. Certainly, he deserved whatever it was he was feeling. Seeing him again only brought back how angry I’d been at him.
How dare he lie to me for all those years. How dare he laugh at me behind my back and conspire with my worst enemy.
Nania’s gaze slipped back towards me, now catching me in her predatory gaze. “If we’re going to talk, then all three of us are going to talk,” she said in a measured tone.
“Has Gresha City already caught on to your ruse?” I asked in a bitter tone. “I’m not cleaning up your messes anymore, Elian. And neither will the Goddess of Flowers.”
“I’m still their beloved King, Angran,” Elian said, airily, “and Nania here is actually my Head Priestess now. Do you know what that means? One of our responsibilities is—”
“Elian, shut the fuck up. Stop provoking your friend,” Nania said.
“We are not friends,” I snapped.
“You were last time I saw you! What the hell did you do, Elian? Why are you being so—so antagonistic!” Her freckled face was beginning to turn the same red as her hair. Elian looked at her coolly, though I could see the slight clenching of his fists, the movements of his throat as he swallowed.
“I’m sure Talon would be happy to explain it to you,” he said. I didn’t miss how his hazel eyes darted towards mine. Reflexively I threw a blow towards him, which he caught with his uninjured hand.
“Talon will be there, but he won’t be the one explaining it,” Nania huffed, then tried to squeeze past me and into the house. I spread out my other arm across the doorway, blocking her entry. Her wide green eyes looked at me with plain confusion, lacking any aggression. “Talon—what—?”
“I said I don’t want him in the house,” I hissed. “You won’t find any help here. Either of you.” Carefully I left go of Elian and began to slink backwards into the Hallow’s treetop cottage, wielding her moss-covered treebark door like a tower shield. “So—”
“Absolutely not,” came the Goddess’ voice from inside the house. “Take it outside! Whatever it is, finish it outside!”
Caught like a child sneaking out of the house, my cheeks burned, much to my embarrassment. As if reminded of the Hallow’s presence had caused her to forget out argument, Nania stood up on her tones, trying to peer past me and catch a glimpse of Hallow Zaya. “Was that the Hallow? Can we—”
“You just heard her, no,” I groaned, stepping out from behind the door and shutting it firmly behind me again. Every time I looked at these two, it caused my stomach to squeeze and twist uncomfortably. A part of me simply wanted them both gone. Another part of me wanted to hurt that liar, that traitor, as badly as he had hurt me. A third wanted to ask if there had ever been a time we were friends. If he and Nania were friends, or if that was a lie too. If all of it had been a lie.
I definitely wanted to punch Elian. To kick and tear his hair and scream and scream and scream. Feeling the heat swell through my skull and limbs, I raised one hand to point at him.
“I want to challenge you to a duel,” I hissed.
While Elian’s expression was one of grim resignation under a barely-there smile, Nania’s face went white. “Talon, I—we can still talk about this—”
“This is how we talk,” I told her, my tone brooking no room for argument. “This is the only way we’ll get anything out of him.”
“But—”
“He made a deal with the Sun Fiend, Nania,” I said, keeping my eyes carefully on Elian. The bastard didn’t react at all. Off to our side, Nania took a step back, glancing at her childhood friend with horror.
“Ellie…” she whispered, her voice barely reaching my ears. “Is this true…?”
So she hadn’t known. There was no reason to suspect she did, but the horror was a comfort regardless. I was right in my anger.
“You lied to me,” I forced out. “For five years, you lied to me. All those things you said. Did you mean any of it?”
“No,” Elian said.
“Ellie—Elian,” Nania said. Her words were stilted and choked. Her tone was somewhere between scolding are horrified.
Elian’s body language was calm, relaxed. He didn’t even have the gall to look ashamed. He looked like he’d been expecting this.
I wanted to spit at his feet. Hot claws were knifing through my heart and lungs, and I couldn’t deal with this bastard any longer. At my side, I knew Nania wouldn’t try to stop me. I needed to know the truth. I knew there was only one way I could get the truth.
“Elian of Gresha. King of Gresha. I challenge you to a duel,” I said.
“And the terms?” he asked, quietly.
“If I win…if I win, I leave. You can’t force me to stay.”
“Agreed,” he said simply.
I waited for a moment, only to realize he wasn’t saying anything else. “Your terms?”
He seemed to chew his lip, thinking them over. “I’ll tell you when I win.”
“No. Tell me now.”
He grinned, a cold gleam entering his hazel eyes. “Don’t tell me the Angran Warrior Talon expects to lose?”
I bared my teeth in a snarl. “Fine. Where will our duel be?”
All the while, Nania glanced frantically between us, seeming to finally realize this was a confrontation she could do nothing to stop. No, perhaps it had always been inevitable. What else could come of a friendship between an Angran and a Greshan? Really, we’d been too stupid if we had believed it could end in any other way. Silently, choking back any hint of sound, I saw her begin to cry and hardened my heart.