Elian wouldn’t stop returning to the Deep Woods. He was obviously looking for me, from how often he came to our spot, or even called my name.

I did not show myself, expecting that eventually he would realize the meaninglessness of his actions and stop showing up. Or at least take a break from appearing for a few months. Enough time for me to make some real progress. Of course, Elian being Elian, no such luck.

To think, once I had admired that tenacity. Now that I found myself on the receiving end of it like this, I wondered if El ever found me this aggravating.

No. No, pathetic. That was the word. He was just being pathetic, hanging around at our spot like a kicked puppy, waiting for its master’s return. His foolishness, his naivety, it made me sick. I could only be better off without him constantly distracting me. Still, even when he wasn’t physically there searching for me, his presence continued to weigh heavily in my mind. His and Nania’s. Was this the lack of closure? Fine then. Perhaps if I cut them off, drove away all distractions and responsibilities, I would be able to reach my goals.

And then…

And then it would all be worth it. The Sun Fiend would never hurt anyone, ever again. I’d never need to hurt anyone again. No one would ever have to feel this way, to do these things. What could be a more worthy goal than that?

By this point, Elian was making no attempt to actually search for me in his visits. Rather, he would take a seat and talk as though I were quietly listening. His naive idealism, without a doubt. It was sheer luck on his part that I actually heard his words—the Deep Woods were vast, and I could have chosen to move onto another part of them long ago, never to look back.

“I haven’t seen Nia, in a while,” he said. How curious, it had been about a week since I had last seen her, and was wondering why she hadn’t also been looking for me. “They’ve been keeping her inside the temple. She’s probably fine, the trials for the Candidates are comin’ up, I’m sure. I’m also sure she sends you lots of love.”

His immaturity made me scoff.

“I tried sneaking into her room, but some guards spotted me and chased me off. I think they figured I was some kind of pervert. Which is rude as hell. Everyone calls me a freak for not liking others like that, and now when you think I do I’m still a freak?” He grunted. “I ain’t even got the right parts, either way!”

I didn’t doubt that he was telling the truth, when he said he hadn’t been able to talk to Nania. It would explain why he kept coming out here, time and time again. Loneliness.

Loneliness which made him weak. And stupid. And naive. And clingy. And desperate. Loneliness made him delusional, always coming out here to try and convince a boy who wasn’t even there, who couldn’t even be listening, in all likelihood, to come out and talk to him. And the worst part was, it was working. Even the hardest stone could be eroded by little droplets of water, and Elian was nothing if not persistent.

So distracting. Which was why I needed to cut it off now, before it proceeded any further. With steady and deliberate hands, I strung my bow and drew it back. Calling upon the bow’s magic caused a flaming arrow to blaze to life, which beckoned the surrounding shadows to flicker and dance. It was easy to release the string and fire the bow. So before anger wore out and doubt creeped in, I did.

Perhaps it was the change in the lighting, or he was more observant than I gave him credit for, because Elian dodged the arrow like he knew it had been coming. As if this were one of his stupid scripted, ceremonial dances he had told me about during the Harvest Festival. He turned towards my hiding place and grinned, seeming to see past the foliage and gloom.

“There you are,” was all he said. He rushed towards me, as I drew the bowstring again, and shot out a blazing arrow which scattered into a rain of embers. Nothing his armor and a little agility couldn’t handle, as his shining rune-lined armor showed.

I needed to drive him off. To make him hate me. To hurt him. But like an old nightmare I couldn’t wake from, I found myself falling into familiar patterns as we began to fight. Horror bloomed in my chest as I recognized nostalgia. No, no no no no no. This was wrong, all wrong, this shouldn’t be what I was feeling.

“Enough!” I shouted out, slamming my bow to the ground. Elian was, as ever, ready with a quip and a smile.

“What, forfeiting already?” he asked. It made it too easy to stoke the flames of rage in my heart this time. My voice came out as a dangerous rumble which surprised even me.

“No! The only one forfeiting here is you!” I snapped, jabbing a smoking finger into his chest. His eyes widened owlishly.

“Me?”

“Yes, you!” I repeated. “Why do you always hold yourself back? Why do you always make things harder for yourself? Why won't you ever fight me to kill!"

“Talon--” He reached for me but I shoved him away, scraping my palm over my eyes before I could see the blurriness.

“Am I just not strong enough for you!? I’ve been through things you soft, weak Greshans can’t even imagine! Don’t you dare fucking pity me, Elian!” I growled. “You’re weak. You always have been, always will be, so why don’t you just get off the battlefield and—”

“You don’t mean that,” he said. The absolute certainty in his voice. It made my chest squeeze.

“So naive. I hate that, I hate you,” I kept going. “I could have killed you a thousand times over.”

“But you decided not to a thousand times over,” he said.

“Because I didn’t have to! Because you always avoid killing, killing anyone, even when it makes no sense, even when you have no excuse! Because you’re too weak for me to ever worry about—”

“Then why do you keep coming back?” Elian asked, and it felt like a knife to the stomach. While I struggled to breathe, he continued. “I’ve fought with you a lot of times, Talon. You could’ve killed me once, but not anymore, and you should know that. You’re stuck in a bad matchup against me. My specialty is defense and stamina, and stamina is your weakness. Not to mention, I’ve fought you enough to know your weaknesses.” I spied a new emotion in his hazel eyes. Neither their usual warmth nor their occasional mania, but something I’d never seen before: cold analysis. “I’ve always known how to match you.”

“Maybe you’re not the only one who’s been holding back in our little matches.”

“Talon, what’s this really about? You don’t have to fight,” he asked, calmly. Too calmly. Did he not care? How could he be so calm?

“It’s about you holding back, you fool. Who the hell do you think you’re protecting? By sparing the Angrans, you risk allowing Greshans to die. You’re not a hero, Elian, you’re a traitor,” I jabbed back.

His mouth twitched. I had struck a nerve. But his next words struck one of mine, in turn. “Then why do you fight, Talon? Not this battle—why are you fighting for a people and a cause you don’t believe in?”

My mind, which worked at lightning speed during even the worst of battles, froze. I was left groping helplessly for words. “I—”

“You came to Gresha because you told yourself you were going to scope out enemy territory, didn’t you?” Elian asked. “Yet when your own people attacked, you didn’t help them, or create a distraction within the city. You attacked one of your own. You talked back. You left.” I couldn’t even hear malice in histone, it sounded like Ki… Something twisted in my gut.

I shook my head, violently. “I don’t care who I’m fighting! So what if sometimes I join in against the Angra!?” I snapped. My head was so hot-- why did he even care? “I just want to fight!”

“Then fight somewhere else. Leave Gresha and Angra behind. Take Nania with you, leaving is her greatest dream. She’d run away with you if you asked. Find a cause you believe in, and fight for it, one you care about,” Elian said, tiredly. I opened my mouth, but he interrupted me. “And no, the Angrans are not the only people who hate the Sun Fiend. She has lots of enemies. You’ve cut ties with the Angrans. I saw. What’s keeping you here, Talon? ”

I opened my mouth, only to find...I had no answers. Naive Elian, Elian who usually chose to be kind, had taken them from me. How cruel.

“I...I could ask you the same question,” I finally settled on. “Why do you love this place? Why do you want to protect the city? They don’t appreciate your power. They ridicule your resolve. You said they call you a freak.”

“I asked first.”

I couldn’t answer. Why didn’t I want to leave? Because there were wars here, I would have answered a few minutes ago. Because I only felt alive on the battlefield. Because it was the only place I belonged. But Elian had stolen that answer from me. That wasn’t enough.

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If Elian had been just the right amount of perceptive, I might’ve admitted it was because he and Nania were both here. But no. Again, Elian had seen the truth to that, too.

The answers to Elian’s questions were lost deep within my heart, and I had no intention of ever walking the path to them again. So instead I pushed back against Elian’s own secrets, tried to steer him onto the path that would let me abandon my own secrets for good. The cowardly path.

“...Then let’s just leave,” I said. “All three of us.”

“Talon…”

I swallowed my anger, my doubt, my fear, and bet it all on a strange and desperate hope. I stepped towards Elian as I spoke, looking him straight in the eye, hoping to trap him as he had trapped me. “They’ll never thank you for defending them. The Greshans think you’re a freak. Just like how the Angrans think I’m one. You’re a useful freak for now, but we can be useful freaks elsewhere, too. Let’s go on an adventure. Let’s grow strong enough to kill the Sun Fiend once and for all, and when they beg us to return as heroes, let’s tell them to go to Hell.”

“Tal…”

“El…” I swallowed, hoping I didn’t sound too much like I was begging. But I was speaking earnestly. More earnestly than I felt I had spoken in a long time. Despite his bleeding hands, Elian had plucked the thorns away from my exterior, leaving behind something which felt raw and fragile. But I needed to speak, to ask this. “Please. You’re right. We don’t have to stay here. So let’s leave. Let’s find Nania and leave—” My eyes widened. Something was wrong. “El!”

image [https://imgpile.com/images/CIBrxC.png]

I tackled him. His eyes widened but he didn’t resist, his body going loose as we rolled together out of the way. Elian landed on top, shoved us both behind a massive tree root, and not a moment too soon. We splashed together into a puddle, but only seconds later the water became air, and I hissed at the sensation, my skin becoming raw and tender.

An explosion of heat and light stripped the tree of leaves, branches, bark. It wasn’t the only one. The land had transformed into a gnarled forest of blackened skeletons, and at the center of it all was a cherry red crater. Only after the fact did my mind put together what I had sensed as wrong—the scent of smoke in the air, and the slight increase of the heat. This time it was no trick of my mind. I narrowed my eyes against the smoke and steam, and looked.

At the center of the crater was a woman.

If Greshans were lapdogs and Angrans were hunting dogs, then she was the wild wolf, feral and hungry. Everything about her looked wild and beastly— from the short black hair on her head, to her pointed claws and fangs on display. Sometimes Angran women would join us on the frontlines of wars and raids, but her muscles put most of them and many men to shame, despite her diminutive size. Her whole body was tensed like a bowstring, ready to leap into action, and I felt no doubt that she’d kill with her bare hands. Brutal and bloody. She was a wild thing, through and through. A Fiend. Slowly she looked up, and I saw her eyes for the first time. Red irises, shining golden pupils. No human had eyes like that.

She was either a god or a monster. Instinct told me her name, though this was the first time I had laid eyes on her.

This woman was the legendary Sun Fiend. The beast which killed my sister. Mother of Monsters. King of Great Dragons.

Heat caressed my skin, and my fingers curled around the hilts of my weapons. Before I could draw them, however, the warmth of another hand touched my fingers.

“Tal, we have to go,” Elian whispered. I’d never heard him afraid before.

“Then go,” I replied. This was one fight I was incapable of ever running from. Within the space of a breath, Kite’s—my daggers were in my hands.

Briefly I looked back at Elian, hoping he’d understand the complex feelings I had no time to convey. Then I was on the move, ducking from root to root, hoping to escape her sight. Despite her tensed posture, her expression was almost bored. She had caused so much destruction, and yet she could not even be bothered to care, to notice the insects she was crushing beneath her feet. No, she was not staring into space, I was mistaken. She was looking at Elian, watching my rival. Why would she stare at my rival so intently?

It didn’t matter.

I’d make her look at me.

I’d ensure I was the last thing she ever saw.

“Damn you,” I hissed, and charged forwards. Water-aligned daggers combined with my flame-based channeling should be a lethal combo against any warrior I’ve ever fought, the steam scalding his flesh, leaving it weeping and red.

The exchange was brief. A short bout of attacks that we both dodged, herwithout even looking my way on her end, then a hot bolt of pain traveled from her open palm to my chest. The clothes I wore, sewn with armor-stitching, meant nothing. She slammed me into the charred crater, and began to walk. Towards Elian. With gritted teeth, I rolled onto my stomach and dragged myself towards her. “Don’t—walk—away from me!” My fingers groped for my daggers, my bow—any weapon. I grasped a dagger with my uninjured hand and rushed towards her, trusting more in my speed than stability. Finally she looked over her shoulder. She didn’t even grab me this time. Rather, she floated up into the air, just out of reach, and crossed her arms.

“Normally I’d love to play with you. But I’m here on business, not for fun,” she said. Her voice was low, like distant thunder.

“I don’t care what you’re here for. You’re never here for anything good. All you do is slaughter and bring havoc,” I told her. To my surprise, her response was a deep belly laugh.

“Yup! Slaughter and havoc’s what I’m here for!” she said.

My teeth ground together. The daggers granted me enhanced stamina and dexterity. I’d use it to push through the pain; it didn’t matter how my muscles screamed. Once the deed was done, nothing else would matter. Her death. That was the point of it all. Drawing extra strength from the daggers, I ran and leapt. Root. Tree trunk. Fire and lightning from my feet to my thighs. When I felt I was high enough, I leapt for her, bringing the dagger high above my head. If it’s the last thing I do, I will bring you down! I will make you look at me!

Effortlessly she dodged. I dropped to the earth, landing in a roll, then leapt towards her again. Again, I missed. Something grabbed me and out of sheer instinct I nearly stabbed it, but it jerked me off-balance and avoided the blow, still clinging tightly.

“Tal, please, we—she—” Elian whispered, before cutting himself off. Instead, he spun me around and behind his body in a sudden display of strength. “You’re not interested in him! You’re interested in me! Leave him alone!” A tense moment passed as she turned her gaze back to him.

You idiot. Like I’d ever abandon you to her.

One final desperate assault. Again I charged and leapt, and this time my efforts were rewarded. A solid blow. No blood splattered my face—yet—but I still couldn’t help but grin. The expression was chased from my face, however, as she began to mirror it. Her teeth were sharp, so sharp. A true predator.

“You’re right. I’m not,” she told Elian.

I dangled in the air as she grabbed my wrist. And the warmth of her hand quickly became painful. Within a heartbeat my whole arm was screaming. The rest of me screamed with it. I couldn’t even feel how she squeezed my wrist under the inferno of her bare skin. A ghost of the pain remained as she hurled me past Elian, then another jolt of pain rocked my world. Between the agony and my dizziness, my legs refused to work any longer. My vision blurred. Had I finally reached my limit?

Was this...really all I could do? The difference between a human and a fiend. It was childish, and pointless now, but...it wasn’t fair. Past the blurriness of my vision, a brilliant light drew my gaze. I would have loved to say I was satisfied that I forced her to end me with her most famous weapons, her lances of pure heat and sunlight, but some distant part of me continued to scream and cry out it’s not fair! It’s not fair! You can’t do that! You can’t make me so weak!

Briefly, Kite’s face, cold and apathetic, flashed through my mind. A mirror of his mother. I wanted to vomit.

…It doesn’t matter. Maybe it’s better this way. Let it end soon. I closed my eyes, and waited for the final blow to fall.

It never did. Was that all? Did she simply decide I wasn’t worth it? I forced my eyes to open again, and barely managed to focus on the body before me. My vision blurred, again, for entirely different reasons.

“E...Elian…?” My voice was so quiet. Raspy. It didn’t sound like my voice at all.

He...he shielded me with his own body…? He sacrificed his life for me?

Why would he—what was the—

A giggle slipped out from my mouth.

Elian’s body was burned, horribly. His right arm was...awful. It seemed to take the worst of the blow. Still pinned to the ground by the Sun Fiend’s lance. It was the worst, but the rest of his body did not look much better. Red. Red and black and red. His face was still somewhat recognizable. I could still clearly see the scar I had given him, when we first met…

“Elian, wake up.”

Elian was dead. He took the full brunt of the Sun Fiend’s attack. He was…

I laughed. I cried. As if every emotion he brought me was being forcibly sucked from my chest and out my mouth in an awful bloody mess. I screamed. By the end of it, I was a hollow husk. Still, this husk stood up on two legs, and wrenched out the spear pinning my friend to the ground. The pain was nothing, I didn’t even feel it.

“I hate you,” I told the Sun Fiend. And then, with all that remained of my strength, I returned her gift back to her.

Hit. A blow to her side. Dark red oozed from her body, and she reached down to look closer at the blood, as if she couldn’t believe it existed. Then she laughed, and I felt the full force of her gaze on me. I couldn’t even feel satisfied that I’d finally done it.

“Huh,” she breathed, her voice trembling with excitement. “Challenge me again when you’re older. It’d be boring to kill you by accident —oh, and,” she gestured at Elian, “make sure he doesn’t die, either. It’d be a waste at this stage.”

In a shimmer of heat, she disappeared. I looked around, but she was really gone. The only signs of her presence were scorched earth, and the smoke… Smoke…

Whatever strength possessed me and allowed me to strike her chose that moment to abandon me. I fell across Elian’s body. “Elian, Elian wake up…” I muttered.

His dead body was so hot. That monster. What was she even talking about? He was dead. He was…

What was the point of this? Of vengeance? When they always died or left? If the world was fair and just, then did I deserve this? What was the point…? Was Kite…?

Despite myself, tears welled up in my eyes, making the branches of the trees around us seem to sway and grow closer. I wanted to scream out my fury, but there was nothing left. No breath, no rage, no power. Nothing but the light in my eyes—until that went dark, too.