After a successful day of only being slightly frightened for his life, Ryuji laid in his sack. He had asked Ash if he wanted to sleep in the same tent as him but was fervently turned down. He thought it made no sense since Ash instead had to sleep next to Abate. Ryuji cringed at the thought of sleeping next to that man. He probably talked about himself in his sleep. With a sigh, he let the weight of the day catch up to him as his mind flitted between different thoughts. With zero effort, he closed his eyes and drifted off to his inner mind.

While Ryuji chatted with a certain person in his void, a mischievous cat snuck into the tent. Nyanjo’s feet made zero noise as she skillfully waltzed over to where Ryuji lay. Her hands gripped the string keeping the sac tied up, and slowly unraveled it. As Ryuji's body was exposed to the cold, she quickly sat down on his lap. Nyanjo's smirking face was mere centimeters away from Ryuji's as she blew on him. Her hands played with his hair, completely messing it up as she waited for his eyes to open. She couldn’t wait to see his sleeping face twist into one of pure embarrassment. She thought it was only right after an entire day of him being an ass. But what she got was nothing even close.

His eyes opened with pure fear displayed inside. His dilated pupils darted back and forth while his breathing heightened. It was to the point that Nyanjo was concerned about his health. Despite knowing that, all she could do was stare at him in this disheveled state. The man who had faced down certain death with little more than a grimace while she cowered was now broken into pieces. She had no idea how to take in the information before her, so she just continued to watch.

“Please...please...not again.”

The despairing words flowing out of his mouth brought her back to her senses. She reached out and held his cheeks, forcing his face to look forward. With his eyes attempting to look anywhere besides the person before him, she spoke.

“It’s me, Ryuji. It’s me, Nyanjo! You're okay! You're alright now. Just calm down!”

The convulsions grew in strength, but Nynajo did not lessen up her grip. The skin beneath her fingers began to form bruises. As if the pain had finally reached him, the convulsions stopped altogether. His rigid body seemed to soften and relax as he quieted down. Her words and the pain she dispatched brought him out of the nightmare, and only then did he realize what had happened. The shame weighed on his chest more than the human one sitting on his pelvis. But even with that shame, he couldn’t control the tears that started to flow.

“It’s over now! You don’t have to cry!”

“I...know...I just can’t help it. Damn it! Crying in front of you, just how pathetic can I get?”

Ryuji wanted to shrink into the smallest corner of the world and disappear. He placed both of his hands over his eyes and groaned. If he hadn't done that, he would have seen the look of relief slowly spread over Nyanjo and coalesce into a warm smile.

“If being pathetic is what you’re worried about, then you don’t have to worry. I think that about you every day.”

“Hah, What a relief that is." Ryuji let his hands fall to his sides before looking at the girl once more. The smile had already vanished, and the normal shit-eating grin was there. "Can you get off me now?”

“A beautiful woman is sitting on your cock in the middle of the night, and you want her to get off of you?”

The mocking tone, along with his deep embarrassment, caused his temper to slowly rise. “Maybe if I thought you would actually do something while sitting there, I wouldn’t object to it. Now, are you going to get off, or do I have to shove you?”

“Fine, fine. There you happy?”

An awkward atmosphere filled the tent as Nyanjo stared wistfully into the ground. She was only a few inches from him, yet Ryuji felt like she was miles away. All the bonding they had done over the past week was slowly disappearing before his eyes, and it was his fault. The thought brought his rage to a boiling point.

'How is this my fault!? She did it to me! NOT! The other way around! I had no choice in the matter! It's not like I want to remember what that purple bitch did... to me...'

The silence had now reached a cutting point. Ryuji felt the edge of it slowly sink into his throat as he denied himself from even thinking.

In that despairing silence, he permeated one thought.

He wished for one thing.

He wanted to forget.

“So what was that all about?”

His dead eyes flashed to life only to sharpen into a murderous gaze at the woman beside him.

“None of you damn business. Why the fuck were in here doing that anyway!?”

“It was payback for being an irritable ass all day today!”

Ryuji noticed the panic that set into her voice. It was laced from head to toe in regret, but he didn't care. Why should he?

“What? So you come in here and assault me!?”

Nyanjo's eyes flicked back and forth as if she was trying to find a way out of the conversation while she gritted her teeth in frustration.

“Well, I didn’t think you would have a come apart on me, okay!?”

Ryuji thought he could hear himself snap. His fists tightened to the point where they matched the snow outside. He didn't know what he would do if she stuck around, and he didn't want to find out.

“Out.”

Pain flashed through her face. Regret turned to misery. A pit formed in Ryuji's stomach, but what was done was done. He didn't care how he just wanted her to leave. He forced himself to look her in the eyes. What he found there was terrifying. The woman who seemed so strong was now on the verge of collapsing. Tears clung to her eyes as she shook for reasons other than the cold. For a moment, she stood there frozen in time before she jolted. A wry smile took hold of her. Ryuji knew the look well. It was the look of someone denying the reality in front of them.

This story originates from a different website. Ensure the author gets the support they deserve by reading it there.

“Wait a-“

“Out! Now.”

The smile died, and Ryuji felt something within him die as well. He had no idea what he had just done, but he figured that any kind of relationship he had with Nyanjo had just vanished. She left without making another noise. Her shivering back burned into his mind as she shut the tent flap. He waited for her footsteps to fade away and for him to be truly alone.

The darkness surrounding him seemed heavier without her there. Memories he was constantly trying to forget clung to his mind like tar. His sobs rang out in the quiet night as he relived a moment that never happened.

///////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////

The next morning came, and they ventured out just as they had the previous day. Abate led the way while Ash followed Ryuji closely. The only stark difference was how far behind Nyanjo kept herself. She refused to look directly at anyone, instead opting to stare at the ground in front of her. Ryuji glanced back and felt something weigh him down on the inside.

"Wow! Would you look at that! A tree! I was starting to think nothing lived in South Kevic besides murderous underground squids."

In the far distance at the very edge of the horizon was a solitary tree. Its branches were broken, and the trunk cracked in two, but regardless the tree still stood as a marker. Ryuji looked to see Elio slightly grinning and Ash smiling. As he continued his trek forward, he made a mental note not to turn around. A gust of wind kicked up snow and bit into Ryujis shawl.

“You know I was thinking this yesterday, but I really miss my stuff.”

Elio looked back with an intrigued smirk. “What exactly do you miss? Were they heirlooms or perhaps sentimental valuables?”

“No, I had packed a winter coat and forgot to steal one from those assholes. Now I’m freezing my ass off!”

The priest in front of him burst into laughter. Ryuji was beginning to understand that this priest wasn't exactly a hard person to please. Ash sighed beside him before looking at him with eyes full of pity.

“That is unfortunate, Mr.Koyanagi.”

Ryuji froze in place, refusing to step forward. The girl behind him made a gasp and stopped as well. He attempted to push that fact to the back of his mind.

“I think you’re the first person to ever call me that, and I don’t know how to feel about it.”

“D-Do you want me to stop?”

“No, it’s got a nice ring to it.”

Ryuji's words and faint smile took the worry out of Ash's face. Seeing him finally warm up to him caused the faint smile to brighten like logs thrown into a flame. His smile, however, was quickly extinguished when he saw Ash's eyes sadden. For a moment, he didn't realize why. Then he remembered the girl behind him.

“If you’re that cold, then allow me.”

While he was lost in thought, Elio had walked forward and thrown his coat over Ryuji's shoulders.

“You don’t have to demean yourself like that, my lord!”

“Nonsense! I will not have the Abate name be dragged through the mud! Besides, I have no need for such trifles. You can even pass it down to your children and tell them how it was a gift from the future Ajant of Illumine!”

“Uh yeah. Will do. Thanks.”

They walked past the tree in silence and found themselves at the top of a hill. The infinite horizon had ended, and regular land stretched before them. The void had now been replaced by a thriving landscape. They could see trees, grass, rabbits, and monsters. Ryuji let go of the air he had been holding in his lungs in relief. In some part of his mind, he had wondered if they would ever make it out of that hellscape. It had only been for about two days but walking forward and only seeing more white was tough on his brain.

Down the slope, they set up camp as the sun began to set. Ryuji sat watching the flames dance. Abate stood barely within sight, keeping a perimeter around their campsite. Nyanjo had gone to her tent early, leaving Ryuji alone with Ash.

“Hey, Mr.Koyanagi?”

“What is it, Mr.Ash?”

Flustered from the reply, Ash continued on with a red blush that wouldn't go away. “Well, I just noticed that today you’ve been pretty standoffish to Ms.Nyan. Did something happen?”

“Yeah, she pissed me off." Ash was making a face that said, 'tell me more' but Ryuji was not having it. "Look it's fine. You don’t need to concern yourself with it.”

“If you say so.”

“Ah, what’s the matter? Lovers dispute?”

The patrolman was suddenly inches away from the fire. Ryuji attempted to not show any feelings that might give Elio the wrong idea.

“Not even close.”

“Really? I saw her go to your tent last night and then leave with a pretty distraught face. I figured something had happened.”

“You saw that!?”

Ryuji nearly fell into the fire as he shot up from his seat.

“Of course! I stand watch all night!”

The priest seemed to be reveling in what he thought was admiration. In reality, Ryuji was just shocked to see how insane the person they picked up was.

“You don’t sleep at all!?”

“A good archpriest can go an entire month without sleep. So an Abate such as myself can go two, no, three months without a single wink!”

‘So that’s why Ash is okay with sharing a tent; the guys never there!’

“Listen, my lord, it’s nothing like that, okay?”

“Then what happened?”

“I, uh, can’t tell you.”

“I see. Well, I hope you solve this little lover's spat before we get there. The long road is the best place to make up and to get closer to one another.”

With a knowing smirk, Abate gave Ryuji a tiny tidbit of advice before heading back out and scouting their surroundings. Ryuji called out to him in a desperate voice.

“It’s really not like that! You believe me, right Ash?”

“...”

“I’ve been betrayed. Actually, now that I think about it, what's going on with you and the priest, huh!? I thought you weren't into guys.”

Ash's red face quickly somersaulted into one of rage and frustration. "I'm not into guys, you jerk! I don't know what you're talking about!"

"Don't play innocent with me! He pulled you to the side and had a chat with you after I killed the squid!"

"Oh...that. He told me that commoners such as myself aren't allowed to address by his first name without express permission, but since it made him so happy, he was willing to let it slide."

"...that's it?"

"Oh! He also told me that from now on, I can call him Elio whenever I want."

"...That is... so wholesome, oh my god. I apologize."

"Stop bowing, Mr.Koyanagi!"

"My apologies."

"You're making me flustered on purpose, aren't you!?"

"Well, it's not that hard to do."

With a hmph, Ash stopped talking, and Ryuji didn't feel like much for conversation either. He looked over to his tent with dread. He didn't want to be alone for another night, not after yesterday.

"You should forgive Ms.Nyanjo soon."

Ash spoke like a child scorning an adult, which only served to irritate him.

"And why is that?"

"Because while you were concentrating, those tentacles moved to finish you off. A few managed to get you, but Ms.Nyanjo singed the rest of them to crisps. You would have died without her."

Ryuji found it hard to continue looking Ash in the eye so he opted to stare at the fire instead. Getting irritated by his silence, Ash leaned in, attempting to convince with passion.

"Have you not noticed? She obviously feels terrible about what she did. She didn't utter a single word all day! Don't you think you've done enough?"

His eyes no longer were content with watching the flame wandered over to the treeline that just happened to be in the opposite direction of Ash.

"Would a man really scorn someone who saved their life? Especially when that someone is a woman?"

"Using my past words against me! I should call you twitter. Nope don't ask; you're better off not knowing..." The silence filling the night was made excruciating by Ash's face being a mere centimeter away. Coupled with the fact that he was being looked at like he was trash Ryuji had no choice but to break. "Fine! I'll make up with her tomorrow... probably."

Ryuji felt a hesitation before receiving the slightest slap on his head as if Ash was afraid of damaging him. Turning his head, he saw Ash doing his best to hold a serious face together.

A pitch that was more in tune with a girl rather than the man Ash was trying to be eeked out of his mouth. "Just do it, you big baby! I thought you were mature."

The corners of his mouth tilted up without him thinking. The sight of Ash getting along with him was almost enough to make him forget how shitty he felt a moment ago.

"That's where you're wrong, kiddo."

With his tongue stuck out, he got up and walked toward his tent. Hands shaking, he opened it and walked inside. The darkness was heavy. Inside it, he thought he could see purple hair.