The black cab speeds along the highway back to what I assume would be The Gallant's Rest. I wince in pain as I lean back against the passenger seat in an attempt to relax. What a night. Not something that I am eager to experience again.
"Hey. If you are able to heal me, why didn't you close up this giant gash in my side just now?" I ask The Voice.
"I did not heal your injuries. I merely stopped the bleeding and injected some of my power into you. As we speak, Mr Gallant's lacerated kidney is leaking urine into his bloodstream. It is only because of my power that toxic shock has not occurred and both you and Mr Gallant remain alive." The Voice states.
My face pales at once. You mean I am still in danger here? Urine getting into the blood sounds like a serious problem. "So how are we supposed to deal with this problem?" I ask in an agitated tone, "Are you taking me to a hospital now?"
The Voice laughs at my distress, "Stay calm. The room is my place of power. Once Mr Gallant's body has been returned there, I will undo all the damage that it has experienced in the course of tonight's misadventure. I will also return you to your home dimension. So be at ease Transmigrator."
"A room above a bar and lounge is your place of power?" I disbelievingly ask The Voice. No way. No way a deity can be this pathetic.
"Yes." The Voice affirms. Full points for honestly at least.
"Do you have any worshipers, temples, churches and the like dedicated to you? Any priesthood? Holy books?"
A moment of awkward silence. "No." The Voice finally responds.
This is good. This is way too good. I think I have finally gotten a handle on what kind of deity The Voice is. Not some powerful elder god, that's for sure. I begin sniggering to myself at the revelation.
"Are you a forgotten god?" I ask.
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Sullen silence is the only response I receive as the cab continues its journey through the night.
.....
The cab finally pulls up before The Gallant's Rest. Rest is something that I could use right now.
"Return to the room and lie down on the mattress. Once you do that, I will begin the process of returning you to your dimension and restoring Mr Gallant's body." The Voice breaks its silence as I climb out of the cab.
As I pull myself up the spiral staircase, I feel the pain in my side growing by the moment. Nausea also begins to creep up on me. Whatever treatment The Voice administered must be starting to wear off. My time in this world is coming to an end. I just have one more question that needs to be answered.
"Why was I chosen?" I ask The Voice as I reenter the room for what I hope is the final time.
"Both you and Mr Gallant threw up on yourselves at the exact same moment when drunk." The Voice says with relish.
What.
"Such moments generate what is referred to in metaphysics as synchronicity, providing what would otherwise be an innocuous event great mystic significance. The fate of the world, literally being borne on two mouthfuls of expel. The Host and Legion would be gravely humiliated if they knew."
Come again? Puke? The fate of the world?
"When the expel sprayed across yours and Mr Gallant's clothes, at that moment, for a single suspended second in time, the distance between our respective dimensions was reduced to nothing. You and Mr Gallant were standing upon the crossroads of reality and throwing up all over it."
OK Voice. You are enjoying this way too much now. This is for me calling you a forgotten god isn't it?
"I reached out through the mess that both of you had created and pulled your soul here. I trusted that any man who could stand upon the crossroads of reality would have what it took to complete the mission I had in mind. So now you know." The Voice concludes with barely concealed delight.
As I lie down onto the mattress, a gale of laughter spreads through me. Puke was what saved the world. Puke was what saved the Hero. Its really too much to bear.
"Then," I gasp between rounds of laughter, "There really was no choice in the matter of my summoning? It was my destiny to be summoned and Gallant's destiny to be my host?"
The Voice goes completely silent again. What did I say wrong this time?
When The Voice finally manages to speak , it is with a clear undertone unease. "There is something I need to investigate urgently. I have already removed the bindings that keep you on this world. Safe journey Transmigrator."
The line goes dead.
A fog descends upon my mind. My vision blurs. I no longer feel the pain of my wounds. In fact I no longer feel anything, its as if I have been cut off from my body.
And then everything goes dark.