I follow Hernandez to his office, avoiding the odd stares coming from all around me about my current trouserless state. Hernandez keeps his eyes fixed forward, resolutely chomping on his cigar, refusing to entertain the questioning looks the ORPO officers are giving him. The moment both of us enter Hernandez's office, he quickly locks the door behind me with a sigh of relief.

Taking a seat in front of the large teak desk that dominates the small room, I notice that the office is made even smaller by all the files piled carelessly about. Files on the desk. Files on the shelves. And the unending sea of paper spreads greedily outwards, devouring the floor and forming small mountains that reach up to Hernandez's knees. The Commander navigates the sea of clutter like an experienced skipper, skillfully gliding past the mounds of documentation without disturbing a single sheaf of paper. Hernandez takes a moment to reassemble a pile of files that I had accidentally nudged to the side before settling into the large leather chair facing me. An awkward silence develops between us.

"Teddy bear underpants." I blurt out to get the ball rolling on our private discussion.

Hernandez folds his arms across his chest and addresses me, "Gift from my daughter. She likes cute stuff. There a problem with that?"

"No! No!" I quickly deny, "I was just, uh, surprised by the whole teddy bear thing."

"And I was surprised by a maniac tearing off my pants." Hernandez scowls, "Plus the whispering in my head. Explain. Now."

"My trousers are magic." I tell Hernandez, "Its what allows you to resist the whispering."

"Magic trousers." Hernandez repeats what I said in a completely flat voice.

I roll my eyes in response, "There's magic swords, magic wands, even magic guns these days. Stop being bigoted against trousers Commander."

Hernandez gives a tired grunt and shrugs, "OK. Fine. I get that whenever you show up there's bound to be weirdness. And violence. Can't forget that. So how do your magic trousers tie into everything?"

I snap my fingers and point my finger squarely at the Commander, "Remember that time you were asking me about the fight between an ORPO squad and myself?"

"How could I forget." Hernandez snorts, "The battle over the skies of a sex club. Or was it a sex cult? I never really worked out what you were talking about."

"Did you ever manage to get that ORPO squad to come back to HQ?" I ask.

"Now that you mention it, no." Hernandez reluctantly admits, "Those guys ignored orders, never came back. The men I sent after them disappeared as well. The whole matter was put on the back burner thanks to your antics at the von Amsterg manor."

"What antics?" I raise an eyebrow, "I read in the papers it was a Legion strike on the manor."

"Fine. Keep playing dumb." Hernandez massages his stiff shoulders, "Stick to the issue at hand. Don't for one moment think I'll let the manor fiasco go though."

"Brainwash waves." I say, looking Hernandez straight in the eye, "That's why the ORPO squad is not obeying your orders. Their minds have been completely roasted inside out."

Hernandez just stares at me in silence. He then takes out a lunch box from a drawer and opens it, revealing a hot pocket wrapped in tinfoil. Removing the hot pocket, Hernandez folds the tinfoil into a tiny little hat which he then places on my head like a crown.

You might be reading a stolen copy. Visit Royal Road for the authentic version.

"That shit is oily." I complain while taking off the tin foil hat and tossing it into the bin, "And stop playing with your food."

Hernandez munches on the hot pocket and speaks between bites, "Feel better about the brainwash waves now? Want to talk about the fluoride in the water turning people into homos?"

"I'm serious." I glare at Hernandez, "That whispering in your head? I hear it too. I can resist it thanks to my trench coat. Not everyone is quite so lucky."

Hernandez finishes his hot pocket and leans back in the chair, considering my words, "Yeah. I feel it too. I can't make out what the whispering is actually about, but it clearly wants me to do something. Why is it I only started hearing the whispering when I put on your pants?"

"You always could hear it." I explain, "The difference now is that your mind is actually conscious about the brainwash waves, allowing you to resist."

"And you are saying that these 'brainwash waves'," Hernandez throws out an air quote, "all started at that apartment block where the so-called sex club is?"

"You don't believe me, don't you?" I question Hernandez unhappily.

"I believe you as much as I believe the story about the Host lacing The City's drinking water with hormones to turn all human men impotent." Hernandez smirks.

"Cute." I challenge the Commander back, "Then return those trousers to me. If what I am saying is total crap, you don't need to be wearing my trousers."

Hernandez falls silent at my rejoinder and silently contemplates my words. His hands however, show no sign of removing the pair of trousers I had originally forced on him.

'So you believe me." I conclude smugly.

"No, I don't." Hernandez doggedly shoots back, "I need these trousers because I don't have a spare set available."

"Fine." I sigh, "I'll give you concrete proof about the brainwash waves. Call an officer in here."

"Any officer?" Hernandez asks as he reaches for the cradle of the phone in his desk.

"Yeah, sure." I agree, "Any rando would do." Hernandez then calls an officer manning the reception desk to make himself present before us. A short while later, the ORPO officer knocks on the door and lets himself in, all the while giving me a suspicious look. The Commander makes a movement with his hand, indicating that I should be starting my demonstration.

From my experience at the Kingdom of Love, brainwashed retards generally have their thought processes locked on certain very particular concepts. Its probably how Celeste ensures her grip over those unfortunates' minds within the limits of her power. The scale of the brainwashing may be greater now, but the process should still be the same. My plan to win Hernandez over would be to provoke this rando into babbling mindlessly in the same fashion the retard guard did. Such a demonstration would prove without doubt that brainwashing has been going on.

"What is the greatest principle?" I question the ORPO officer. That should get randoman here to start spewing garbage about love this, love that.

Randoman closes his eyes for a moment and recites, "Loyalty to The City. Protecting the people. Devotion to ORPO."

My face goes completely pale at this response. Shit, this is bad. Celeste must have changed the programming up to prevent me from tripping up her retards so easily. I'm not giving up though. When there is no way out, the only thing left to do is to double down and keep digging.

"What do you think about love?" I press randoman, hoping to get the reaction I want.

Randoman considers for a moment and answers, "I would like to meet someone that I could truly love and marry."

Damn it. I throw out my final gambit hoping that something might stick, "Sex! Sex is important right?"

"That's enough smart ass." Hernandez interrupts before addressing randoman, "Alright, you're done here. Get back to work."

I burst out of my seat as a sudden inspiration strikes, "Who are you loyal to, ORPO or the goddess?"

The moment randoman hears this question, he stops dead in his tracks with a dangerous gleam in his eye. Randoman doesn't actually answer me, but the change in atmosphere is palpable. Even Hernandez can sense that something is wrong. I have found a crack and need to apply more pressure. Celeste might have disguised the brainwashing better this time, but once I know the right buttons to push, the facade will break apart.

"I am the Tyrant's blackguard!" I shout straight at randoman's face.

Randoman screams like an enraged animal and springs towards me with his bare hands. I swiftly punch the officer straight in the gut, sending him crashing into the door of Hernandez's office, breaking its hinges and sending randoman flying out into the cubicle farm.

"Believe me now?" I ask Hernandez as randoman's colleagues gather around the fallen figure. Hernandez just nods in silence.

"Great. Now let's talk business."