"Can I activate magic now!? Now!? Please!" I bounced on my feet just as I and Mom arrived at the yard. Mom and Dad were finally back from adventuring, and I was so excited to finally start making some fire.
"Oh fine," Mom sighed with a smile. "Keep the mana as far away from yourself as you can manage, and then activate it, just as I've taught you."
"Okay!" I brightened, before promptly tuning everything else out to focus only on this one thing. This sole moment.
I stretched out my wand before myself. I extended my consciousness towards the tool, and let it meld with my self-image. The mana was present in the repository, and I carefully drew it out with the focus. The energy thrashed against me, but I held it steady, having long gotten used to the untamed power of fire mana.
I pushed it away.
A meter
Two.
More. I can do more!
I strained and applied force toward the wisp of mana. I extended it to the very edge of my range, and then I went further, without ever losing control of a single whiff.
Three meters.
"To manifest the mana requires a simple mental command. An exertion of your will." I recalled Mom's explanation. "Just like an archer looses their arrow, so too do you activate your mana. Pack it with your image, what you wish for it to do. The warmth of a campfire, the gentle heat of a grill. The fire that burns within, but is quenched from the outside. The flames that slaughtered my templar chapter and finally set me free!”
Now!
Images rushed into my mind as I thought of my fire.
The last campfire I saw in my past life, the way I burned at the end along with the stranger who killed me. An escape from a burning building, the ignition of a stove. Cooking at the grill.
No. More!
I reached deeper into my imagination, for no one ever told me that magic had to be realistic. I thought of the realm of hell, the home of demons. I recalled my glorious form, in the final days of a life long past. A goddess of a demon, but something was missing.
The fire that consumed all. The flames that burned the unsinful. What I could not wield before now made manifest.
Now show yourself. HELLFIRE!
A bright orange light burst into life in front of me. It roiled as if angry, it licked and lapped at all those that came close. I felt the heat on my face, it started to become uncomfortable. I had the mana hover high above the ground, but the grass still caught fire.
I heard a shout that I couldn't make out. Mom suddenly scooped me up, and shielded me with her back. She ripped away the wand from my hand, and tossed it far away. My attention snapped back to reality, and I found myself being carried farther away.
"M-mom?" I struggled.
"Oh, Haell! You're alright!"
"Uh. Yeah." I brought a hand to my face, and found it a bit irritated from the heat, but certainly nothing serious.
My mother put me down, and patted around my body. "Oh your face is so red! Does it hurt anywhere? Here? Haell!"
"I'm fine! I'm fine! The skin is just a little irritated is all."
"Oh thank Varyala," she sighed and slumped down. "That was way too strong! What was that!?"
"Uhm. Fire?"
She blinked. "Well. Yes. You're right. It’s fire." She took a deep breath. "Sorry. I overreacted. I just… that was unexpected."
I smiled at her. "It's fine Mom. But how'd I do?"
"Well… really good!" She fumbled for a wand strapped to her side, and started shining down a light upon my face. I felt a soothing sensation, as what little damage I did started to heal. Certain elements can have more esoteric uses like healing, and light was one of them. "That's way too good for a first try. If you managed that with a small smattering of mana, then you'd have the efficiency of a fucking dragon with max-level brains! Probably. Not that I ever met one… However! Haell!"
She tried not to sound mad, but I winced at the smallest amount that leaked through. Argh! She loves me, I know that. Why am I so sensitive with her!? I'm not normally like this!
Mom sighed and patted my head. "Hey, hey. It's okay, it's okay. I just wanted to know… how much more mana does your wand have?"
"Hm? Well, I only used a little bit as you instructed…" I checked the practice tool, and then found the tiny repository to be empty. "Uuuhhhhh…"
"Right. It's empty isn't it?"
"Sorry…"
She ruffled my hair again. Her words flowed so fast I could hardly keep up. "It's fine. You didn't even realize you were doing it right?"
"Yes…"
"Well, that means that it's really become natural to you! Instinctive!"
"Ohh!!" I raised my hands up high, and Mom gave me the double high-five I wanted.
"You're not off the hook though, missy!"
"Eeeehhhh…." I whined. She pushed through.
"It could really become dangerous if you just did things by instinct. You could end up hurting yourself."
"Oh…" I shrunk a little.
Her face softened. "Don't you worry, Haell. It's not an unsolvable problem. You just need more training. You don't want to accidentally damage yourself in the middle of the fight, do you?"
"No," I replied, feeling a bit better.
We returned to our yard after that, finding a large portion of the grass still burning. Every element of mana had their own little quirks, and that was fire's.
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The mana provided the spark, and it was burned as the fuel for the flames, for that was how fire worked. It required fuel. But it would of course continue to burn if it found an alternate fuel source, hence our ruined front yard.
Mom ran back to the house to get her big staff, and a nature wand. She quickly put out the fire with water, and then made the grass grow back in its place.
The plants were a bit wild and crooked in their growth. Making the biomass quicker would inevitably result in more long-term problems and defects. That was the quirk of nature magic, these new plants should be far less healthy than normal. Mom shrugged. "Eh. No one will notice. What do you think, Haell?"
"You're right Mom! I'm sure it'll be fine!" I affirmed.
She nodded, satisfied. "Now, Haell. What did you think went wrong?"
"Well, I ended up using too much mana…"
"Hmm, yes. You did. But that was a practice wand. The focus was deliberately made weak. The amount of mana it could handle is severely limited. So how did you use too much mana?"
My eyes widened, nigh sparkling. "Because I'm amazing, and I just broke one of the fundamental rules of magic!?"
Mom's expression broke, and she laughed uproariously. It took nearly a minute for her to calm down. "Yes Haell," she wheezed, finally collecting herself, "you are indeed my most amazing little girl. But!" Awww. There's a 'but.' "You can't break the rules of reality… yet." Yay! She believes in me!
Mom continued to explain, and I settled in to listen, forgetting the jokes for a moment. "So you know how fire magic relies on creating a spark of flame that is then fueled by mana, but could also be fueled by other things?" I nodded. "So, what happened was that you used about the maximum amount of mana your practice wand affords you. This created a strong flame… that should have lasted for maybe a single second or so. The mana fueling it would have very quickly run out. But something that I haven't taught you yet, and specially important for fire magic, is that you can supply more mana to an existing lump of mana under your control. You just have to keep pouring more of it into the existing lump, without ever exceeding the capacity of your focus. Because you cannot physically… or I suppose mystically, do that. The focus can't do it. It'd be like going to a pond, and trying to scoop out all the water at once with a single cup. You can't do that, but you can fill your cup back up with every sip. Or in this case, you fill it back up as you’re taking a sip."
I blinked. "So what you're saying is… I managed to figure out this advanced technique on my own!?"
"Yes Haell! You got it! It's amazing! You're amazing! I'm so proud of you!" She lifted me into a hug, and I returned the embrace. My expression then turned into surprise as another realization hit me.
"If I'm this much of a genius, then maybe I can force a pond into the cup! The ocean!!"
Mom laughed. "I have not once encountered that in my decades of adventure, but I believe in you Haell! Follow your dreams!"
"Fuck yeah!!"
"And don't curse!"
"Pack Yeah! Like a pack of wolves!”
~~
The rest of the day was spent in magic training. Mom taught me some exercises so that I don't hurt myself by just thoughtlessly handling magic. I learned to always be aware of the amount of mana I'm holding, and I studied the process of pouring in more mana which I had accidentally done prior. That whole process was apparently called the 'Replenish Loop.'
The replenish loop was of course the cause of the problem to begin with, but the solution wasn't to shy away from it. Only by understanding the technique could I use it in a purposeful way.
I got so into training that I ended up skipping swordsmanship for today. Magic was just way too awesome as something that was totally absent in my previous world. But I still felt kinda bad when I saw the huge imposing man walk away with just a little bit more slouch to his steps.
~~~
"Sorry Dad. I got too excited with magic yesterday. But it's the sword all the way today!"
"It’s fine, Haell." Dad smiled. I could tell it was genuine.
"Thanks Dad. But I do genuinely love and I want to learn the sword. So let's get to it!"
“Alright. But… there’s really no need to hold back on my account, Haell. I’m not… I don’t feel nearly as passionate about my craft as your mother does for hers.”
“Oh… Really?”
“Yeah.”
“Why do you keep doing it then?”
My father thought about my question for many seconds, before finally settling on an answer. Or perhaps he was debating whether to even answer.
“I don’t hate it. Not anymore. It’s just a way to make a living. And power affords you many things, like safety.”
“That it does.” I nodded sagely.
Dad chuckled. “I don’t think I’m quite as hungry for it as you are either, Haell. But I do support your dreams.” He patted me on the head. “Just remember that there’s no need to push yourself. If you decide you prefer magic, then well…”
I shook my head. “I’m afraid I’m gonna have to impose more and more, Dad! I do like magic, but I also like the sword! I’m a demon that will master both!!
“I-I see. Well, it’s no imposition at all. I might not enjoy swordsmanship, but I do enjoy teaching and supporting you.”
A grin found its way to my face, and I readied my stance, now freshly motivated.
Even that joy gradually faded away as a shining beacon in the background, as I prepared myself to once again master every stroke and more.
Overhead slash.
The maneuver brought with it a familiar sensation.
Left to right sweep.
All the flaws to my methods were hammered away through endless repetition.
From every direction, I'd learned to attack. Every pattern was memorized by both the mind and the body. The sword became a weight that came as naturally as the weight of my own head upon my shoulders. Not a lifelong companion, but a part of my body.
Time became a blur. My focus was heightened to the limit, the world around me forgotten. Even the concept of violence was ignored, the purpose of the sword set aside. I was only a machine, expressing my own mechanical way of beauty through the weapon.
Perfect precision.
Robotic accuracy.
I felt something impact my head.
I ignored it.
I felt another thing, this time by my thigh. That too was set aside.
"Haell! Haell!"
My ears heard things, but I judged them to be unimportant.
"HAELL!" my father's booming voice finally brought me back to reality.
"Ah! Dad! Hey!" I hastily saluted… for some reason. I nearly fell over, only now realizing my sheer exhaustion, but I managed to lean on my wooden sword at the last second.
"You really were in a trance back there," he laughed. "Well, I think that means you've got the basic strokes down pat."
"Oh! Nice! Go me!" I pumped my fists.
Dad clapped. "Now it's time to change up your training." He showed me small balls of rolled fabric in his hands. "You don't just mindlessly use the moves you've learned in a battle. You pick and choose based on the moment."
He tossed one of the balls at me.
It didn't hurt. They were soft.
"You're supposed to dodge. Or try to hit them if you can," Dad explained. "I'm going to be throwing this at you while you practice from now on, so you need to remain aware of your surroundings. Dodge them as best you can."
"Alright." I shifted my stance and faced him. I resumed my practice, getting in a good groove again after a while, until a ball landed on my head. That brought me back to reality, making me realize that my attention once again slipped.
Even when I did see the projectiles coming, it was still a toss-up whether or not I'd be able to dodge. My reactions were slow, and I did not have the necessary instincts for evasion. On top of that, I got way too absorbed in myself and what I was doing to even pay attention to my theoretical opponent.
I knew that I was from being able to hit the pellets at the moment, and I begrudgingly had to agree when my Dad pointed it out. For now I’d focus on learning how to evade first.
Overall, my first day of this sort of training resulted in a lot of failures. But when had that ever not been the case?
I would not be discouraged, and I would never stop. Not until I had made of my body the strongest weapon it was always meant to be.