It was a wonderful morning. The sun was shining, the birds chirping, and rays of golden light were shooting through the air. I tried to catch these wisps of magic, running around the yard and laughing. After a day spent on theory yesterday, Mom had finally deemed me ready to try and learn some magic.

"Remember, Haell," she said, focusing on her wand and the control over magic, "mana is not something that can be seen. At least, not typically. Certainly not the mana which are not your own. It is a force that can only be known. Its presence can be felt. The first step to learning magic, is to perceive this mystical force."

"Okay!" I said enthusiastically. I watched the brilliant light show harder, and strained my mind to feel what I must.

Something in the air. A force behind the shining light. The elements all had their own little quirks.

They can shift between forms, though the different kinds of mana all have different preferences. From floating like gas, to flowing like water, some even bunched up like a solid. But for light specifically, it was most erratic. Weightless like a wisp, it yearned to race forward the moment it was let out of storage. The mana was excitable, transient. Forming light mana into a complicated structure was difficult.

I breathed. I reached out my hand, and swished my arms across the air, to try and get a grasp at this mana. I knew it was there, right along the path of the shining rays.

A passing impression crossed my mind.

It was so faint, I didn't know if it was real, but for less than a second I perceived the void of space being crossed by the shining brightness of light.

"I can feel it," I said. "I know it's there. Maybe. I'm not sure. It could just be my imagination. How do I know?"

Mom nodded. "Yes. That is a common problem, I'm afraid. Are you just fooling yourself into thinking you've succeeded, or have you truly gotten a grasp of the magic? I would tell you that you've succeeded once you're truly confident about it, but I've seen many prospective mages who were definitely confident, but nothing else."

Light was one of the safest elements to use despite being quite a bit more volatile than its counterparts, because it didn't have much destructive potential. Other than blinding someone of course. It could be used as lasers, attacks that were very hard to dodge, but it was difficult to get the proper amount of heat for it to even deal damage. That was why Mom wanted it to be the first thing I learned to use, for my safety and for the possibility of even learning rare healing magic, but she did offer to switch to some elements that were far easier to master. Water in general was favored by a lot of species who couldn't use magic naturally, and humans were even more biased towards the element. It could also manifest healing, if even more uncommon than that of light.

Apparently people could just connect and understand certain elements more easily than others. This was something commonly believed to be an inborn trait, but it could also be a reflection of someone's mentality, or some other manifestation of their being. So I agreed to switch to the water element that humans favored heavily. I wasn’t yet fully a demon, and I may yet have human strengths.

Mom smiled and took out another wand, this one of different shades of blue and wave-like designs. She summoned up some water, and then stopped. She pointed at the spot where they came from.

“I’ve concentrated water mana here. Touch it and try to see if it works for you.”

I nodded and did as my mother asked. A bubbling sound, a subtle stream, humid dew. Those were the images I thought I imagined, but they were so vague that I didn’t know if I was just imagining things.

Well, I definitely was imagining things, that was the entire fucking point. But I didn’t know if it was even because of the magic, or if I was just picturing shit by myself. Like a placebo effect.

“Aaaaahhhhhhh!!!” I scratched my head and tussled up my hair.

“Haell! What’s wrong!?” Mom immediately dropped her wand to help.

“Oh, no no. It’s nothing Mom!” I explained to her my dilemma, and she chuckled at my problems!

“I get it. It’s what all prospective mages struggle through. If they’re on the right track, or if they’re just being delusional and are just wasting their time.”

“Well… am I?”

She looked me straight in the eye with a completely straight face. “There is value to be found in the journey itself.”

A beat of silence.

I groaned and my mom laughed harder than before.

“A good journey won’t let me vanquish my foes, Mom!!”

She sat down right next to me and stared at the endless skies above. She hummed. “Is that how you view magic, Haell? As a tool to inflict violence upon your foes?”

“Oh, of course not! It’s a way to inflict violence, yes. But it’s also exciting just by itself, wondrous, magic is fantasy and dreams come true. Even if there was no one left to kill, I would still use magic for the sheer joy of it.”

My mother looked at me oddly, concerned. Maybe I should have worded that better.

“Just so we’re clear, Haell. I don’t mean to chide you. I’m passionate about magic, but I don’t think viewing it as a tool is wrong either.”

“I understand, Mom. It is a tool. But it’s certainly not just a tool. Magic has more potential than that.” I stared right at the sun for as long as my eyes would allow me. It was for longer than I could’ve done in my past life. “It’s anything. It’s everything. Magic is free, so I too will be free as I use it. Whether that is to create, to destroy, or just to entertain.”

“Well. That’s good.” She stood back up and brushed herself off. “Be careful though with making all those foes. Make sure to be safe. And try to have morals too, if you have the luxury.”

A case of literary theft: this tale is not rightfully on Amazon; if you see it, report the violation.

I chuckled. “That’s some great advice, Mom. Morals? Maybe.”

“Do you disagree?”

I jumped back to my feet and stretched, preparing for more magic training.

“No, not at all.”

My parents still cared for me as a child, but I was glad that they were more frank about their advice, instead of coloring them with the idealism of youth. They realized I was already very jaded upon their many interactions with me, but they didn’t love me any less.

I deserved this. I deserved them. It’s great.

~~~

"Hey Haell, Mahka," Dad called out to us, coming back from town. My brows unfurrowed upon seeing him, and I fell onto the soft grass from whence I came. I’d been touching water and light mana for the past few hours, trying to feel them, and I thought I succeeded somewhat.

I did. I definitely did.

Maybe.

“SWORD!!” I yelled at my approaching father, still sprawled on the ground. I would get up soon, and then I’d make progress in learning the greatsword. If tsunamis were not in my future, then I’d at least slice up my foes!

Mom shrugged. “That was a great first day, Haell! You can switch if you want. Don’t be discouraged!”

I flashed her a thumbs-up and then continued to lay there. I definitely wasn’t going to give up on literal magic. I didn’t think I was physically capable of it.

Mom smiled and let us be, going back inside the house. I knew my parents had a lot of free time to help me out, because this was their vacation from a long series of adventures, and the time it would take to raise me. They had more than enough savings to just semi-retire as they pleased.

"Here," Dad said, and I fumbled to catch the plank of wood that he tossed.

I stared at it once it was in my hands, before I finally recognized it as a training sword perfectly sized for myself. I looked back at my father and shouted for the second time, "Sword!!"

He chuckled, "Yes Haell. That's indeed a sword. A greatsword, for your size. And today you're not just going to watch. I'm going to teach you properly."

"Okay!" I exclaimed and quickly got into a stance. That was the first thing my dad corrected.

"Sorry, Haell. But that's wrong. It was cute to watch you try and copy me, but just mimicry alone isn't enough. It feels strained and awkward for you, doesn't it?"

"I'm just not used to it yet, I think," I countered, although I already had a feeling he'd prove me wrong. "I'm also way too weak, my body yet undeveloped."

Dad nodded at my reasoning. "That's precisely the problem. Your physique is different."

"Right. So when I grow older…"

"Your physique would likely still be vastly different from my own."

"Ah." I saw the issue. My three-meter-tall father was right.

"A greatsword is a heavy weapon that would cause strain upon its user regardless, but we’re trying to minimize the unnecessary ones," Dad explained, then told me to try making a few practice swings.

I did so, putting my all into them. I recalled my mimicry of Dad yesterday, and did the same thing.

Dad showed me his stance again. He swung, and his strikes were far more casual, flowing into each other and only straining for the big finishers.

"That's what you need to learn. You know your body most of all, so come to know it more. Feel at your balance, the strain in your muscles, and then find the right position for yourself."

Upon his instructions, I tried different slight variations of the same stance for a while, learning what works best for my body. I'd likely have to relearn them as I get older, but it'd be gradual, and would not be a problem so long as I didn't stop training.

Dad made me perform the overhead slash over and over, he told me to focus on that for the foreseeable future. To make the move mine, engrave it into my instincts, and shave away all the inefficiencies. It was a long road ahead, but I faced it with a smile, excited for the day when I would finally become a demon.

~~~

My arms were in pain, I had been repeating the same overhead slash for hours. Dad intervened only minimally, to correct the flaws in my form. Even when my muscles began to ache, he made sure that my stance remained proper. This was what my mind and body would remember, and I had to make sure to have the perfect foundation.

Mom's arrival signaled the end of the session. I slumped on the grass as she laid out an entire picnic for us to feast upon.

I toddled over unsteadily towards them, until Dad offered to spoon-feed me like a child. It was a bit embarrassing, but that feeling was drowned out by the care, and the fact that I was a literal child. It was no problem for me to be pampered by my parents, so I sat all the way back and relaxed as they did just that.

~~~

We finished our lunch and ended up sprawled out on the grass. The wind was cozy, the sunlight comforting, and I nearly fell asleep.

Unfortunately, we were interrupted by an uninvited guest. Lathary arrived, in his shining robes and equally shining skin, with a pretentious crown growing out of his head. He had guards with him, in the form of two ogre templars in white and gold plate armor.

“Mahka, Rallem,” he greeted my parents.

“Baron Lathary,” Mom stood up to greet him, while my dad carried me back into the house.

“Ah, I actually meant to talk to the… three of you today.”

My parents both narrowed their eyes at that, but Dad acquiesced, standing a distance away with myself in his arms.

Lathary nodded. “I haven’t seen you in church for a while.”

“We haven’t been.”

“Well, that’s a shame. Is there a problem in particular? I’d tried to send people here before to inquire, but… they weren’t able to find a suitable solution.”

Mom shrugged. “There’s no problem in particular. We just decided that it’d be for the best if we did not.”

Lathary frowned. “It’s important. For you to receive proper guidance, especially at this stage in your lives.” He gestured towards myself.

“Eh. It’s a decision plenty of people make, no matter the stage in their lives. I don’t see you hounding them all for answers.”

The two towering guards shifted at that, but did nothing else. It could almost be excused away as involuntary movements, that they just needed to stretch, if the hostility wasn’t so palpable around them.

“I would if I could, Mahka. I wish everyone would attend. We’ve still got more capacity, and I even have it set up to where more people could listen in from the courtyard, we've extended the sound enchantments. But alas, it is not quite possible, no matter how I try.”

“Oh, well then I guess we’re just one of those people that fail to fill your courtyards then.”

His annoyance bled through to his passive mental influence. Lathary sighed. “You’re not stupid, Mahka. You know that it is those in your position, of power and influence, that need guidance most. Many will either prosper or suffer, by you.”

“I’ll think about it.”

Will she really?

…Nah. I’m familiar with that excuse. No one ever does.

“Of course.” Lathary did not buy it either. He turned to leave. “Your talents are a gift by the angels. Never forget that.”

“Of course,” Mother repeated, with all the same enthusiasm.