——
“Huh? Can I get reincarnated?” I ask excitedly.
His features shift to resemble a frown.
The god was displeased with the measly human before him.
“No… i’m sending you to the ninth circle of hell”
Aaaah. That doesn’t sound good.
He gives a thumbs down, mimicking the pose of a Roman emperor.
In the ground below, a dark hole opens, swallowing me whole and sending me tumbling through the abyss.
A sudden biting frost.
Instead of falling, i’m now sinking in a cold liquid.
I open my eyes and find myself underwater, being dragged down into the darkness below.
Compared to the night sky in the temple, illuminated by stars, this was a sickening void.
It was a heavy darkness which lurked, like the gaping mouth of an eldritch sea creature, haunting a forgotten part of the world.
The ethereal void hungrily groped with shadowy tendrils.
I gasped a lungful of freezing water and clawed at the faint light above me.
*clink, scritchhh
My hand was blocked by a thick glacial barrier which imprisoned me, along with the abyssal blackness.
Looking down I now saw a murky silhouette rising and slowly opening its massive maw.
A behemoth goat head.
The distance between us was planets apart; it was practically a celestial body residing at the bottom of the universe.
Yet despite the leagues of water, it’s inky darkness pierced through, darker than a sunless solar system, and stared directly at me.
It began to suck inwards, generating a turbulent current of water, dragging all things into its insatiable mouth.
Despair.
I could tell this thing was beyond any human comprehension.
If I get devoured, i’ll probably get erased from existence itself- no afterlife, no shitty gods.
Time freezes.
“Heh, you’re probably wondering how I got into this situation. Truth is, I don’t really know either.”
“Well, to start off…”
——
During the enlightenment era, German philosopher Kant stated that humans are dispositioned to break moral laws, and are therefore ‘radically evil’.
He claimed that humans are ‘evil’ because they reverse moral order for their own incentives.
With our power of choice we can adopt our own maxims regardless of the established norm, whether they are good or evil maxims.
In that case, who decides the moral law? How do we classify who is evil?
Does evil even exist, or is evil just a conflict between opposing viewpoints?
It’s troublesome... This is why a rigid, universal law is convenient.
The good and bad are clearly defined and easily judged.
Yes, it may be inflexible, but it is unbiased and indiscriminate.
God decided to give each human a numerical score, indicating their ‘karma’. Every ‘good’ deed would increase the score by a corresponding amount, while every ‘evil’ deed would decrease it.
This tale has been pilfered from Royal Road. If found on Amazon, kindly file a report.
“Simple… but genius” The God thought to himself.
With such a convenient karmic system, he could now automate the judgement of their souls- giving him time to spare for leisure.
“Guess i’ll see how human entertainment has evolved”
——
*sigh*
I looked despondently at my declining bank balance.
It’s not official, but most high-paying jobs are reserved by the ‘favoured ones’.
I know, it might sound quite prophetical but it’s much more corrupt than some divine selection.
Essentially, i’m referring to the social credit system the government implemented in 2014.
It was apparently already quite intrusive, but as our country grew in power it only got worse.
Ah, yes i’m a citizen of the Chinese Collection of Ethical Nations, consisting of over 70% of the world’s population.
To briefly explain its history, our country, along with many others were originally individual from China.
At the time, people were very concerned of the growing threat of nuclear warfare after Russia was wiped from the map during World War III.
Governments faced uproar and riots globally, eventually resulting in the mass disarming of nuclear weapons.
China didn’t miss this opportunity to wipe out its biggest threats such as the US, UK, and the majority of NATO- well, even for China this was quite brutal.
During WW3 China had implemented a state religion, when the bishop of the upcoming ‘Karmanity’ rose to power during the chaos.
I’m sure how such a stupid concept became the world’s biggest religion, it’s essentially the same as the social credit score.
Well they’re basically integrated as the same thing nowadays, further deifying the power of the government.
I guess it’s like some kind of game, since you can visit their church to check if your karma score has increased.
I’ve never checked though.
In any case- after this, China forced many countries to become their vassals under the guise of the Chinese Collection of Ethical Nations.
They don’t teach this in school by the way and we have virtually no contact with countries outside the Collection.
How do I know such state secrets then?
Ah crap, I did it again.
Don’t tell anyone, but i’m actually the grandchild of a Canadian freedom fighter.
She died after paragliding from a high rise apartment, bursting through the 6th floor windows of a government building and detonating her explosive vest.
Rest in peace grandma…
I found her secret documents in my basement when I was pretty young, so i’ve always been a skeptical guy.
Well, except for that time, I thought to myself, when I signed the ridiculously large contact of my current job without reading even a single page.
To be fair they already spent 3 hours explaining my deprivation of rights, plea of silence and so forth, so I couldn’t be bothered to read more.
My new job at the moment is to press a big red button. Um no, I’m not sure what it does… I think it’s some kind of social experiment.
Before pressing it they make me say;
“I am pressing this button of my own volition and bear all the responsibility”
I routinely recite this each time due to my contractual obligations.
I’m in dire need of money anyway, i’d even do some shady medical testing for some extra income.
Ah, but I’d never scam someone. I hate when people manipulate others out of greed, like this damned country does.
I only genuinely trust sincere people, like my best friend.
*phone rings
“Asher, when are you getting online” Lucky asks over the phone.
Yes, his name is Lucky. He won 50,000,000 yuan in the lottery and only plays video games all day.
I should be going to the button place about now but… i’ve got my priorities. My motto is to live freely anyway.
It shouldn’t matter if i skip a single day of pressing some stupid button.
“Alright man give me like 15 minutes”
…
At midnight I heard a thump from downstairs, inside the basement. Slowly, I creep down the stairs and enter through the trapdoor.
Silence…
I look over at the documents- untouched.
As I breathe a sigh of relief, I feel a cold cylindrical shape pressed against my head.
*trigger load noise
Ah, it must be the barrel of a gun. What a cinematic situation I find myself in.
“So you realised about the nuke button…” a deep voice with a Russian accent growled behind me.
“The what-“
“Filthy rebel scum, don’t play stupid. It’s too late anyway, go to hell”
“Wait, what’s with this nuke butto-“
*a muffled click from a silenced pistol, followed by a body hitting the floor
“Rebel dispatched” the man reported to his radio, calmly leaving the scene and sliding back the hidden trapdoor.
——
The god was lazily skimming through a phantasmal list of names and scores.
“Lets see here, John Jelqus 70,000 karma, i’ll let him reincarnate him into that fantasy world”
“Joan Gilbert 8070 karma… seriously, anything below a score of 10,000 should be delegated to the angels, skip”
“Asher Geiger, karma score of…”
*He freezes then pretends to sigh exasperatedly
“Haaa… not another dictator. I’ll scold this one personally, you go ahead Seraphiel”
He gestures to a floating biblical Seraph behind him.
“Understood, my lord”
It flies away into the swirling soup of stars.
*With a wave of his hand, the soul of Asher Geiger appears before him
Asher was a fairly ordinary looking man with black hair, wearing cat-patterned pyjamas and a bullet wound in the back of his head.
Although the deity pretended to be exasperated- concerned with upholding his godly image, he was always fascinated to see what these people who lived by their own moral codes had to say.
——
It felt like I was asleep for years, drifting through a gentle river.
Then suddenly I was dragged away and thrown into a small fenced courtyard.
The area was a strange combination of ancient greek architecture, built on the top of an Aztec temple, surrounded by a horizon of rocky craters visible over the wooden fencing, reminiscent of the moons surface.
Above was a kaleidoscope of galaxies and stars, seemingly orbiting the moonlike planet that I was on, creating a halo of colour like an abstract painting in the sky.
A gravel path lead up to a roofed structure, held up by white pillars. In the centre, surrounded by various modern amenities, such as a TV and piles of manga, was a twinkling cosmic figure like the night sky.
The air around it seemed to be constantly warped, creating a strange aura around him which gravitated inwards.
Its head was crowned by a swirling ring of golden light like an event horizon.
Put simply, he was the humanoid embodiment of a black hole.
He placed a Starbucks frappuccino onto the precarious pile of books next to it as he leaned decadently into his royal red throne endowed with a gold frame.
“Welcome to your judgement, despicable one” he boomed authoritatively.
“I shall now review your sins”
He snapped and a scroll appeared in his hand, unravelling it he read:
“Lets see, -2000 for treason, -506,900for genocide, -907,100 for genocide, -203,700 for genocide…”
He looks up at me and I stare blankly
“What the fuck is going on” I exclaimed
“This is your sins you tyrant, not ringing a bell?” the figure proclaims
“What, when did i genocide anyone… hold up- ants don’t count right? Okay, I might have drowned a few ant holes with the hose, but that was when I was a kid okay?”
“Hmm, that’s here as well, -10 for animal cruelty…”
“No, i’m talking about human genocides- your foolish acting wont deceive a god” he irritatedly snapped.”
“I don’t know what you’re talking about, i’m literally an unemployed 21 year old”
“Haaah, how boring. At least that Adolf guy was honest about it. If you were interesting I might have reincarnated you…“
“Huh? Can I get reincarnated?” I ask excitedly
*His features shift to resemble a frown
“No, i’m sending you to the ninth circle of hell”
Well you know how this goes: dropped into the abyss, trapped under an ice lake, massive goat monster.
Back to the present.
“AHHHHHHHHHHHHH” I try to say, but in reality it comes out as a gurgling stream of bubbles.
Welp, guess this is the end…
Suddenly a massive arm smashed through the sheet of ice above me, grabbed me by the head and pulled me up from the calamity.
*cough, cough
“I’m… alive” I remark exhaustedly.
“Tough luck. You’re still dead punk” A gruff voice responds.
*my face contorts and I start crying silently before falling unconscious
“Heh, welcome to hell…”
——