It sank into the Alton family more and more as Georgie spoke that they really had been reincarnated into another world. The farmer–who turned out to be perfectly innocent and well-meaning–had tried to explain to the Altons that they were something called isekai, people who came from other worlds to "do big things and get me a finder's fee, too: that's how big of a deal you folks are." He grinned with his teeth and missing teeth. So maybe Georgie's good intentions were incentivized, he was still well-meaning.

"Well you're very perceptive, Georgie." Roseanne nodded. "I am destined for big things and I am a big deal. In fact, I already have done big things. So tell me this, my second-favorite farmer, where might the nearest movie studio be?"

Georgie looked at her oddly. "...What's a movie studio?" He asked, bepuzzled. "I never heard of nothing like that."

"..." Roseanne raised her eyebrows and proceeded to struggle to explain the concept of a movie studio, which in her eyes was so fundamental to civilized human existence that it shouldn't need explaining. But Georgie's confusion only compounded under her lucid explanation. "What's a movie? What's an actor? What's a camera? What's employer-provided health insurance?"

Hugh listened to the verbal mess his wife was heaping out onto Gergie as he wiped some of the farmer's unpasteurized milk off his lips. Who knew unpasteurized milk was so good? This is incredible! Maybe his wife was disgusted, but Hugh was hooked to 'raw' milk.

Roseanne was getting frustrated trying to explain her snowballing list of topics, included but not limited to the intricacies of Hollywood, American employment and her own spectacular stardom. Finally, David broke in in an attempt to alleviate the situation. "Hey!" He called, eyes peeping over the hay bales in the back. "Excuse me Georgie! I just want to explain something to my family who can't take a hint! Could you tell them what magic is?"

"David! Don't interrupt me! This poor man doesn't know the difference between a fill light and a back light!" Roseanne was exasperated and her son needed to stay quiet.

David was exasperated and his mother needed to wise up. "Just hear him out Mom! We have been reincarnated into a third-world country with magic, but not boom mics!"

"Oh, David." Roseanne shook her head sadly. Georgie was a grievously uneducated man, that was to be expected...it was a little less expected that her son was, too. Well, my children do nothing if not disappoint. He's already killed us. "There's no such thing as magic! Now pay attention while I dispel misconceptions about the Hollywood production system."

"Honey, I thought we already accepted that we've been reincarnated. The young man in purgatory told us so. Isn't that a touch magical?" Hugh weighed in as he occasionally did, now that he'd savored his milk. "And I imagine there are other worlds where Hollywood doesn't exist...I don't know why that's so hard for you to accept."

"Is that so?" Roseanne asked thinly. Roseanne had waved Georgie down on the road to ascertain if she had been reincarnated and had become rather convinced, but the more she now heard about the movie industry–or lack thereof–in this new world, the less she liked it. The less she liked, the less she agreed. Besides, Georgie was not exactly a figure of authority: maybe they were still on earth!

Hugh did not want conflict, so he diverted. "Things really are different around here! Just look at these animals pulling the cart! Last time I checked, Buffalo don't have horns. Maybe these fly, too." Hugh laughed at his last bit. Someone had to.

"It's called a yak, Hugh darling." Roseanne rolled her eyes but did not pursue the Hollywood business further, focusing on the slightly thicker ice of reincarnation itself. She spoke. "And I was not asking for your opinion, my lovely husband. But since you did care to weigh in, yes, let it never be said that I am not gracious. No doubt we are reincarnated and magic does exist." She stifled a laugh and punctuated her irony with a significant pause. "Georgie, being the incredibly well-informed individual you are, could you please tell us what magic is?" She snickered. "Oh, I can't believe I'm saying that."

"Oh, because you're isekai you're saying you don't even know about something like magic? That's a good joke!" Georgie cracked up and then realized she was serious. "You folks are pretty stupid! Not that I mean anything in saying that, it's just, I don't know what kind of backwards place you're from but..."

"Ha ha. But answer the question seriously, Georgie." Roseanne pushed. "No need to joke around."

Noelle groaned and covered her ears. She felt...wagon sick? And she did not care for the 'conversation' around her. Ugh, why is this so wagon bumpy? Like, that time I was kidnapped by Sudanese pirates and they tied me up and threw me in a car trunk, that was like way less bumpy. I'm totally going to vomit if this keeps up.

Uhh, well as everybody knows," Georgie snorted and burped as the wagon bounced, unable to dispel his disbelief, "magic is what wizards use. It's, uh, a little hard to explain something so obvious, but it's like this invisible force that helps me deliver the foals and piglets on the farm." Georgie scratched his chin with his free hand, the other firmly on the reins. "And obviously, it can also be used to destroy cities, turn lead into gold and resurrect the dead. Now if you folks really aren't pulling my leg here–this is a hell of a joke, I tell ya­–you might want to ask the local wizard to learn more about it. Bollie Bixstick is her name. She helps me with the piglets," he added. "Strong hands."

Roseanne stared at the farmer. "You're serious?"

"He's serious!" David called from beyond the bales. Hugh nodded and gave his wife a look.

Ah, this situation had Roseanne quite out of sorts. Here was a country bumpkin going on about things out of that script she had passed up on...what was it? The Lord of the Kings? That and the script of uh, Harry–or was it Gary?–Potter, going on like they really existed. Just because they might be in a different world did not mean Hollywood didn't exist! Roseanne gave a chortle. "Oh dear Georgie, next thing you'll be telling me that Soar-on is running about too."

Georgie gave her a look of confusion and the actress laughed. "Oh, just a little joke. You have to be able to take what you dish outI know there's no evil monster gathering armies or whatever Saur-on was. So tiresome!"

"Oh, you mean the demon king?"

Roseanne remembered the young man from purgatory mentioning a demon king. The well-moisturized adonis had said rather explicitly, "As a term of your reincarnation, I'd like to ask you to defeat the demon king."

"Oh dear..." She trailed off under her breath. Roseanne felt panic rise and slowly fought it backdown. Well perhaps I could 'defeat' this demon king during awards season.

From the far right of the wagon, Noelle groaned loudly like she was angry with the entire world. "Stop the wagon. I'm going to vomit."

The author's tale has been misappropriated; report any instances of this story on Amazon.

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David tried to comfort Noelle. She was heaving out a slurry of literally other-worldly kale and lettuce onto the roadside as Georgie twiddled his thumbs and watched with a bizarre amusement.

"Ew." David pinched his nose as he watched his sister. "You're disgusting, Noelle."

She groaned by way of a reply.

OK, David felt a little bad. But what about that time she had teased him when he had broken his arm? 'David, catch the pineapple!' 'David, I didn't help you because I thought you were left handed.' 'David, I booked us to play golf at your favorite place!' While David extended their aggressive sibling relationship, the parents held council a ways off.

"I just feel like we don't have enough evidence to go on, dear!" Roseanne said. "It's very possible that Hollywood does exist."

"Yes, I see where you're coming from Roseanne." A place of denial, Hugh thought. "Georgie's taking us to some kind of union, a 'guild' he said. Perhaps we can find out more there."

"Yes, yes. Although I must remark our son was quite perceptive for a change when he called this place third-world. We may need to go further than this 'union' of peasants Georgie is drooling over: even on Earth, you know, the Haitians did not have movie studios."

"Erm, of course. Now about this demon king business, that's what really worries me..."

Noelle's retching slowed down after a few minutes, and she was less than happy to find out there was no water–or milk–available. "Ptoo." She languidly spit into the dirt, hoping to get rid of the taste.

"Sorry Noelle, I drank the last of the milk." Hugh scratched his nose, turning away from his conversation with his wife.

"Hurry up dear!" Roseanne called to her daughter. "Get back on the wagon, you trooper!"

____________________

The cobble streets were filled with people, talking and laughing and wrapping up their odd ends in the fading day. "It's the evening rush." Georgie explained. "Welcome to Malto-Erma, folks!"

Wood and cobble buildings lurched two, three stories high, densely packed around wide, winding streets. With winding alleys and randomly angled streets, houses up against the trash incinerator, and oddly-shaped plazas scattered throughout, it appeared that city planning had not yet been invented in Malto-Erma.

"EYAH! I–is that a lizard!?" Roseanne shrieked, attracting stares as she pointed shakily, at an enormous creature plodding down the lane. True to Roseanne's appraisal, the thing had scales glimmering from under its cloak, and as it turned toward Roseanne's screams, it revealed a serpentine head with slit nostrils, large eyes on the sides of the head, and sharp clawed hands carrying a wooden chest over the shoulder.

"Reptile, not lizard." Georgie said cheerfully. "That's Sal the salaman. Hey, Sal!" The farmer stopped the wagon in the middle of the street and beckoned the salaman over. The reptile's tongue flickered and Sal waved with his free hand, starting towards the wagon.

"What are you doing! Move, why don't you?" Roseanne whispered to the farmer at the top of her lungs. "Get. That. Thing. Awayfromme! EAHH!" Roseanne broke out of a whisper into a scream.

"There, there..." Hugh tried to comfort his wife, but he was feeling a little hysterical himself. That monster is at least seven feet tall! "Georgie, sir, maybe we should keep moving. It's getting late after all."

Georgie paused to consider: he was salivating to get the isekai finder reward...but no, it could wait a few minutes. After all, people came first and money second. Or third. Or fourth. The animals and the crops were important, after all. "You'll love Sal!" Georgie reassured the Altons. "The guy's a sweetheart. Just cause you never seen a salaman before doesn't mean you need to be afraid...Sal!"

"Georgie!" Sal set down his chest in front of the wagon and gave the buffalo–yak–whatever they were–a vigorous rub with his claws. They snorted happily. "Now, what've you dragged up here?" Sal moved in real close and eyed the three strangers crammed into the front with his old pal. You're all a little close together, aren't you? The salaman thought, amused.

Roseanne shuddered and closed her eyes, trembling as the lizard snout passed inches in front of her face. Warm, murderous breath bore down on her face. This is the end, isn't it?

Hugh was doing a little better: after all, his son had already killed him. He knew what death brought. But when the lizard-monster's forked tongue licked him–licked him!– Hugh's clenched-teeth facade shattered with a scream an octave lower then his wife's but otherwise indistinguishable. "EAHHHH!"

The salaman stepped back, looking a little hurt.

Meanwhile Noelle was massaging her temples obliviously, just happy that the wagon had stopped. "Ugh Dad, keep it down. Like, what's the big deal?"

Hugh sputtered something unintelligible while Sal smiled with his dagger teeth at the hunched over Noelle, nursing her head in what seemed to be a fusion of mild pain and melodrama. "And your name is?"

"Noelle. I'm like, the only sane person here." She rubbed her closed eyelids. "It's so hard, you know?"

Sal nodded. The other two–presumably parents–had screamed, but she was keeping her cool: obviously the sensible one. "I bet you are. Name's Sal." Then he turned his attention to Georgie. "So these folks, Georgie. What kind of foreigners are they?"

"Sal, you won't believe it but I found me some isekai."

"Georgie! Are you pulling my tail?" It wiggled out from under the lizard's cloak for emphasis and Roseanne buried her eyes in her hands so she didn't have to see the dread thing. The 'Sal' beast was like something out of Jurassic–no, she was confident it'd been called Triassic Park .

Then with a heavy sigh, her head rose and she opened her eyes. "We are from another world, Mr. Lizard." Roseanne informed him gravely, almost mournfully, even though Hollywood could still exist in this world (!). Sal's tail squirmed in response and Roseanne closed her eyes and buried her head in her hands again.

The salaman wasn't quite sure what that stranger was doing, but he was in disbelief. And as he ran the details through his head, current circumstance took on a dreamlike quality: the odd clothing and mannerisms of these strangers, Georgie's own confidence, and the fact that the newcomers though salamen were lizards when in fact they were a different type of reptile; these all made for a convincing case. "Georgie!" Sal cried, happily, honored to meet people from another world. "Congratulations!" Georgie grinned as the reptile came to terms with the isekai. It was the stuff of legends.

"...But to find three isekai, that's unheard of!" Sal was a little skeptical on that point: it was always a single hero. Well, he had heard that tale of a classroom of students being transported in for a battle royale, but the story had kind of sucked and the bard had been drunk, so it didn't count.

Georgie grinned. "Nope, there are four of 'em! One in the back. too. Taking 'em to the guild for me reward right now!"

Sal was shocked and excited. Georgie was honest as he was simplistic: very. So if his farmer friend hadn't mistaken a salamander for a gecko here–which Sal knew he once had–chances were Georgie was about to get enough coin to buy up a couple of Malto-Ermas for finding not one but four isekais. Sal wasn't excited because he planned to take advantage of Geroge, though: no sir, Sal was an honest and self-respecting reptile and he was excited to be witnessing history in the making: the demon king was at last going to be reckoned with, and the heroes to do the reckoning were standing before his very eyes! Sal could just see himself decades from now: settled down, eggs hatched, playing with his baby salakids in the stream, their eyes shining as he told them how he had met the four heroes. The four heroes who had freed the Alalans and the western Kobalia from their enslavement to the dread demon king, healed the blighted, sickly Potestas domain. The salaman trembled slightly and spoke nervously. "It would be my honor to see you all to the guild."

____________________

There had been some noise and she, Noelle, had said a few words and then the carriage started moving once more...Finally it lurched to a halt again and Georgie eagerly announced "alright, we've arrived!" Noelle stood up shakily, eager to escape the wooden box of suffering once and for all. I never want to ride that thing ever again. I would rather crawl on my hands and knees. She thought, and with that somebody suddenly clasped her waist and lifting her down, away from the wagon of misery. Oh! Is somebody helping me down like a princess? Wow, kind of cold hands but thank you–you're on the right track. And...oh my god, is this street paved? She tapped her shoe to confirm.

Things were looking up for Noelle: the streets were actually streets; there was a gentleman helping her down, and her nausea was finally passing. She opened her eyes.