"Prove you didn't then." El's father Godwyn Green-maple says with squinting eyes, analyzing every movement of my body.

Prove I didn't? Can I do that? I suppose I can try. I understand what this is now. I should have figured from the start, El mentioned something like this might happen.

"Prove it, huh? Where I am from it works the opposite, you have to prove without a doubt I am guilty, although even that can sometimes be manipulated. But I think I can prove it."

The elves eye me carefully before taking a seat opposite me at the long table. It looked even more like that court room now. Except everyone's almost entirely naked.

They say you should imagine everyone in their underwear to reduce stress but that's been clearly disproved here.

"Interesting, prove guilt as opposed to innocence? My grandfather told me of someone who said something similar. But I never thought one of you ‘other-siders' would murder my wife!"

Oh, another Damien clue? Is this grandfather still alive? Rather, when am I going to meet the world tree spirit or whatever she calls herself? Couldn't she save me from this situation? I suppose not, it's likely entertainment to her.

"I can prove with three simple points that I couldn't have killed her."

"Oh?"

"Go ahead then."

A man strikes a small wood gavel against the dinner table.

I suppose that's my cue to begin my explanation?

So be it.

"First," I take a deep breath to give the proper dramatic effect. "I never interacted with the Queen's cup, Lywyn was the one who toasted her right before I believe. And I think I also heard some idle talk about him losing the rights to an herb patch in the northeast."

The man shifts in his seat glancing between the six men sitting around him.

They also turn an eye to him before slowly returning to me.

"Lywyn may have been grumpy over that fact, but it's no reason to murder the queen, he is a trusted aid."

"I see."

It was worth a shot.

"Then, on to number two. It's meta but I would be the last to kill the queen, it makes no sense. In my world, it would be like the butler doing it. It's just too cliché." I say glancing at the man who handed the Queen her drink.

The men glance around at each other exchanging words I can only roughly understand in Elvish.

It doesn't sound like a strike.

"However wouldn't it also make it the perfect alibi? If you simply had that very excuse in your pocket then you could get away with any crime. No, that is not valid proof." The king rebukes, leaving my comment about the butler completely alone.

"I see," I place a hand to my chin faking thought over my final point. I already know it, but more dramatic effect. "Then as for my final proof, well it's simple really."

"Simple? How do you mean?"

"If I wanted the queen dead she would look a hell of a lot worse than that." I say pointing to the intact body "And if I did kill her, you all would be long dead beside her."

I shrug before continuing "But you're, not. So I'm not your killer, you should be glad really."

The men stare at me with a hint of anger.

I say hint because the facade is probably hard to maintain.

"Bahahaha." The queen says leaning up from her position and bursting into laughter. "Ah, he got you good dear. Pay your respects."

"I suppose you are right. Well played Cole, I am sorry about all this, call it a proper elf welcome."

"I had heard you were fond of dinner parties."

"Mhm, it was something our people picked up from Damien, he first introduced us to the concept of the murder mystery dinner, although we made some adjustments to the script."

"You all did well if I were a little worse at detecting magic I might not have been able to tell the queen was completely fine."

The tale has been illicitly lifted; should you spot it on Amazon, report the violation.

"Ah! El taught you?!"

"Yeah, sorry it was kind of spoiled from the start, I might have believed you if the doctor hadn't said so firmly that she was dead. Once it was confirmed so quickly I knew something was wrong. The acting was great though, really."

"Ah thank you." The queen says sheepishly rubbing her scalp.

"And my crew are…?" I begin but am interrupted by the sound of scurrying feet.

"It's done!" El's sister says bursting through the door. Behind her are a few maids as well as my crew.

However, their ‘outfits' have changed. When we arrived we were given, I guess you might call them ‘guest leaves'

Basically, they were large maple leaves from a fairly common tree in the forest. In comparison, the Queen, King, and Nobles were wearing intricate patterns of leaves to cover their more private areas.

Now I am the only guest it seems. I somehow immediately first turn my attention to Clove, hers are still maple but instead of wide leaves she now wears thinner lightly yellowed leaves patterned into a covering. They fit snugly against her skin showing off her size openly.

I won't mention the tuft of brown hair I spot peeking under the lower leaf though, that seems uncouth.

Can I somehow low-key introduce body hair grooming into this world?

I next turn to Rou, the order has absolutely no meaning, I need to assure everyone of that.

Her, covering is made from thin petals from a pink flower, a few traces of green lobed leaves break up the scale like pattern. Her bun is also re-braided into a stunning nest of flowers and honey colored hair.

A nearby maid proudly stares at the braid nodding as if it's her best work yet.

Again turning at complete random I land on Alice. Her lips have been dyed a tint of red which is only enhanced by the crimson rose petals spotting her body. Her collar has been replaced by a thorny necklace of rose stems.

That's badass, but it looks painful. She tilts her head when she notices my glance. A thorn digs lightly into her skin dripping a bit of blood down her smooth neck.

Holy shit. Why is that so erotic? It shouldn't be, right? Am I a demon or something?

"Your eyes speak novels captain," Aqua says eying me carefully and stepping in front of Alice. "We exist too, even if we don't..."

She sadly looks down at her own covering before glancing at El, Triff, and Mirnas.

Aqua wore two simple flowers covering her flat chest and a feather shaped Walnut leaf covering her crotch.

Triff's was unique, it was half twigs and even a few stones to cover her nipples. She seemed proud of it while the maid who stood near her seemed exasperated.

Mirna wore cedar leaves that stuck closely to her thin chest and waist barely obscuring view really.

Nothing I haven't seen before. Accidents happen in bed and she sleeps naked.

Lastly El, who looked grumpily between me and her board shaped chest.

"You choose a particular order you know."

"I have no idea what you are talking about."

"Doesn't mine look best? I haven't worn it in years, but as you can see it changed a bit."

A spiral pattern of leaves rested on either side of her chest with a small purple pearl centered on what I can only assume is the nipple.

Oh, there is one on the crotch too. I think I can guess what that's covering, that's far too lewd.

This is too much, way too much. I only have a leaf to cover me for God's sake.

"Inevitable really." The king says smirking at me for covering myself.

You're not wrong.

"Come on, Let's eat. I'm starving!"

"Right, right."

"Don't I get a change of clothes? Surely one of these maids could help me out?"

Don't give me that look El, it was a joke.