After a long time as a formless entity of pure thought, Grant popped back into existence.

He immediately wanted to go back.

Immense waves of agony blasted through his ruined body, his torn-up throat letting out a weak, gurgling scream. Black tire marks ran over his back in a thick line, every last bone shattered to pieces. He couldn't move, just spasm uncontrollably... he could barely think through the searing fire of pain... he just wanted to die, he begged God for mercy, for death, to be free of this prison of decimated flesh...

The figure of a beautiful young woman in a simple blue dress appeared over him, poofing in from thin air. It was Gigi the Goddess, come down the Heavens to greet her reluctant hero.

"Uh oh." Gigi's voice was high and cute, this time absent of its blue tinge, brackets, and italicization. She tapped a finger on her lips in confusion, looking down at Grant's mangled body.

"When you said you wanted to be yourself... did you mean from before getting run over?"

Grant wanted to curse the deity out, but he was too busy hating existence and wishing he had never been born. He gurgled aggressively at Gigi and tried to spasm his way over to her, only succeeding in rolling onto his side and bleeding everywhere.

Quickly, the Goddess waved her hands. His half-destroyed body repaired itself in a flash of light. Initially Grant had his bloody, ragged clothes back on, but with another wave of her hands Gigi changed him into a simple outfit of a tunic, boots, and leggings.

"You bitch!" with his throat repaired, Grant was able to roar at her like he had wanted to. He jabbed a finger at the Goddess and she backed up, whimpering. "You did that on purpose!"

"It was an accident, I swear!" she held her hands up, shrinking down. "Don't hit me!"

Grant restrained himself, pausing to look down at his body as if to check that Gigi put him together right. He was just as scrawny and lanky as ever, and for once he appreciated that. The last thing he expected to treasure was the fact his organs were on the inside and not all over the floor.

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Turning in place, he gazed around, absorbing his strange new surroundings - he and Gigi stood in some kind of damp underground chamber, lit by glowing sapphire stones embedded into the walls.

"I'm so happy you decided to be my hero." Gigi clasped her hands together over her chest, swooning. "I know you can help me fix this world!"

"I'm not gonna be your hero." he said defiantly.

Grant crossed his arms, starting to pace around the chamber. There was a strange box made of stone, the heavy lid of which was already upturned on the floor.

"What?" Gigi wilted like a flower. "You... won't?"

"Congrats, you have ears." Grant kneeled down to peer inside the stone box. Inside were a few weapons, but only crappy ones: tiny knives, dull swords, and some fancier-looking stuff that seemed entirely impractical.

"I'm gonna... start a farm. I don't know. I'm not gonna be your hero, or anyone's hero. I refuse... re-fuse... to be part of this goddamn isekai bullshit." as he spoke, he pulled out one of the swords and gave it a test swing at the air.

From behind, Grant heard the deity begin to sniffle.

"You... you won't be my hero?"

"You're not gonna change my mind by crying." Grant continued to heft the steel blade around, getting a sense of its weight. It was a bit too heavy, so he threw it back in the box and pulled out another. "So just let it all out and then fuck off or something."

"Even after I picked you specially?" she asked through little weeps. "I figured, you seemed to be pretty knowledgeable on this isekai stuff... I thought you could help me."

Grant kept testing swords, side-eyeing the Goddess suspiciously. Was she trying to stroke his ego or something?

The Goddess burst out sobbing. "Oh, I'm just such a screwup! I try and try and I always fail!"

The young man rolled his eyes as the Goddess started to throw a tantrum, stomping her feet and crying.

"Every hero I've tried to give this world has gone bad! I don't know what's wrong with me... my sisters can do stuff this just fine! All their worlds are so perfect... I just want to make something good like them!"

He glanced at her, seeing her wiping tears off her cheeks with the heel of her hand. Grant might've hated isekais, but it wasn't like he couldn't feel empathy. The Goddess's situation wasn't too far off from his own, he thought, just on a much bigger scale. And really, he didn't want to spend the rest of his life as a peasant potato farmer or whatever. With a resigned sigh, he hung his head and tried to swallow what he was about to do.

"Know what? Fine. Fine. Fine. Fine, fine, fine." He let out a groan, rubbing his face with both hands. "Fiiii-iiine!"

Still wiping her eyes, Gigi looked over at him.

"Nice show, I owe you a round of applause, hope you get the Oscar." he finally found the right sword, hefting it over his shoulder. "Whatever, fuck it! I'll be your goddamn hero. Just tell me what to do."

The Goddess's pitiful expression disappeared in an instant. "Yaaay!" she threw her arms up in cheer.

"But wait-" Grant cut back in. "You've gotta make me two promises first..."