Ah, yes I should start with who I am… Just an ordinary person. I am just that, I got some friends, I got a nice life, I am thankful that I have something to eat everyday… Yes, it is all just perfect.

I remember when I was younger playing with my buddies outside with damn sticks… Can’t do it anymore now can we? Quite some time has passed although I can’t say it feels like that much. I miss the old days when I had no worries, can’t say I’m pressed by anything right now either as everything is just good.

Ah, having a normal life is boring… The truth is I never enjoyed the company of people in general. I really, really didn’t like spending that time with others, yes it was fun, but I can’t say I enjoyed it y’know fam. Why do I think about this every single night… I really need a psychologist.

Tomorrow… Gotta wake up early.

The time passed… it passed so fast…

“Hold up, what is this?”

I extended my arm and reached into the abyss. It was like something had its gaze locked on me.

“What an intriguing fellow. Speak thy heart desires.”

“What the- Ahem, why am I here and why do you ask me that?”

“That is a better reaction than most people have. Let me tell you something very, very interesting.”

“I am all ears whoever you are.”

“You.”

“Me”

“Ded.”

“Welp that explains a lot… HOLD UP!”

“What do you wish me to hold up?”

“No no no, I’m dead, why am I dead?”

“Somebody barged into your apartment, you were sleeping like a log and he stabbed you forty-seven times.”

“Oh… So I didn’t wake up while he was stabbing me?”

“Nope, I have to say you are quite a sleeper. You even amaze me, a god.”

“God? No, no no, I refuse to believe I’m dead… BUT, you said earlier to speak my heart desires.”

“That is correct. Is there something you wish?”

“Before I ask anything what will happen next?”

“I will send you to another world.”

“Oh, I see how it is, one of them isekai things. Thank you anime for all thy knowledge! I know what I want to be in my next life.”

“You are quite the idiot are you not? Oh, no you just pretend to be one.”

“A wolf in a sheep’s clothing you could say.”

“Say what you want already.”

“Ok, uhm one more question?”

“Ah… Sure go ahead.”

“After tell you my wishes. Can you send me back to my world for a bit, right when the jackass was stabbing me?”

“Not really….”

“Ok, but can you make a portal so I can grab him and snap his neck?”

Stolen novel; please report.

“That is possible…. What do you want now…?”

“Oh alright so first of all. Give me a damn giant goth looking armor that simply says badass. A two handed battle axe that goes well with the armor, also give me you power.”

“Alright if that is… WAIT a minute! You are not getting any of my power.”

“But you said my heart desires…”

“Hmm, I have an idea… You see I am the god of that world not yours, I was planning to retire myself anyway and leave a successor. The throne will be empty so, you will have to fill it.”

“So you give me all your power. I get to also become a god there.”

“Yes and I can finally take a break from all of those disputes and talks about the world balance and everything.”

“Fair enough nothing beats free time I suppose.”

“Is there anything else you want?”

“Oh yeah when I get into that other world… Make the sky spit me into the ground like a meteor.”

“Spit you…?”

“Yeah like the sky itself spits me, y’know like ‘ptoo’.”

“So you want the sky, to make the onomatopoeia sound of spit while you are launched from the sky as a meteor?”

“Why not?”

“From all the people that died you somehow managed to be the chosen one. FINE!”

After annoying the god I got my wishes. A badass looking armor and a twohanded axe. He opened a small portal from my body in my world. I caught the bastard that killed me by his neck and punched him in the face with the other hand through the portal until he died. It felt so damn good.

That day, in the world I was reincarnated, I’ve been spit by the sky into a mountain and created an avalanche. I destroyed a village with my wish, but damn… That was awesome.

“Welp might as well move on.”

I turned my head a bit and I saw an old man next to me. He had a long white beard and hair that reached to his elbows.

“Call me impressed, you just arrived here and destroyed a village.”

“It is what it is. Although I hope there weren’t people there.”

“You seem to be blessed by the god of luck as well, the village was evacuated a few days ago due to dragon attacks.”

“Oh, so it’s a fantasy world. Do I know the language? Is there a way to translate it?”

“Well you have my powers so you should be able.”

“Looks like a pain, I will just go and say ooga booga at bandits for a while until I manage to understand them.”

“Why? Just why?”

“Oogba booga.”

“FROM ALL THE PEOPLE! Well it matters not, this ain’t my problem anymore.”

“Ooooooh, you are the god that got me here. Thanks dude.”

“Sure… Dude. Well you do amuse me so I will be around watching you. Goodbye for now.”

He vanished. That was a rather unexpected meeting, I also seem to be very lucky for not killing anyone. Well, I got bandits to scare.

Walking through the forest, looking for the best, oh I wonder who shall be, scared by none other than me. Oh that rimes, hehe. Hmm what do I see there. A group of bandits, some people leashed. Time to go in and say hi. MUAHAHAHAH.

“So, we got quite a few from the village right.”

“More than enough, with that evacuation some scattered. They are pretty healthy so we should fetch a high price.”

“Yeah… Auch, what did I bump into?”

He took a look in front of him the up. Seeing my absolute self in the most badass armor there could exist and the axe I held on my shoulder. I said to him…

“Ooga booga bitch.”

So I stepped on him. The other one tried to swing his sword at me, needless to say it couldn’t even leave a dent.

“What do you want?”

Hmm it seems I can’t understand the language yet. I need to use my powers. Let’s try this again.

“Ooga booga?”

“Wh-What?”

Everyone made that derp face when I said ooga booga. Am I not funny? Also I managed to understand him this time so I am free to end them I guess. A successful experiment.

I cut the other one in half while the other bandits ran away. I am too lazy to run so I won’t chase them.

“So, you are the villagers?”

One of the elderly people came forward to talk with me.

“Please spare us!”

“I don’t intend to do anything to you. Although your village is kinda ruined.”

“Oh that is a relief… What happened with our village?”

I can’t tell them the truth… Think, think, think.

“A dragon attacked me while I was on the mountain and made an avalanche which destroyed your village.”

“That is not good. Can you help us reach the capital?”

“Oh, yeah sure why not. I have nothing to do right now anyway.”

The village chief or at least that is who I supposed he was got us through the forest.

“It is a seven days walk on foot. We will take some breaks now and then I hope that is not affecting you… What is your name?”

Oh, right I need a name. Something awesome! I need something good. Something edgy, hmmm oh I know.

“My name is XxX_Puss….” They wouldn’t get the joke, ah I guess I’ll go with my normal name.

“Ahem, everyone calls me Jacky. Nice to meet ya all.”

They all greeted me. Everyone seemed nice, too bad I made their lives ten times harder. Welp I gotta make up for it now.

A few days passed without incident while we moved forward. There was little food, but they managed to hunt some boars. I told them I could get some food it would have been easier, but they don’t wanna rely on me too much. Ah, now that I think about it, I feel like I’m in a game on sandbox… WHY AM I BORED AGAIN!!!!!

“Is something bothering you Jacky?”

“Nah, I’m just bored. I want to go adventuring.”

“I’m sorry we put you through this.”

“No no no, it’s my fault your village is like that. I mean I could have fought the dragon somewhere else.”

Ah, they are good people, I guess I’ll have to see the capital at some point or the another.