Stew remembered a mandatory training for time management. It had been pretty basic and they hadn't provided any coffee or snacks, so he had mostly zoned out. But he remembered a metaphor they had used for packing a schedule. It was like filling a jar with rocks, gravel, and sand. The trick was to start with the big rocks, then add the gravel, or the sand would take up all the room, and you would never fit everything in the jar. He started his list of "things to do to survive as a dungeon" with his big rocks.
First there was what he wanted to do.
Learn. Grow. Build.
Then, there was what he had to do.
Make myself too tough to kill, even if they try.
Everything left were things he hoped to do to make the other things easier and to buy him more time, which he could sum up as:
Make myself more valuable alive than dead.
So he listed the actual things he could think of to do, in no particular order.
Find a way to generate more mana, faster.
Finish the slime level and pick a boss.
Build an undead level for the necromancer and her zombies.
Check out all of the upgrade notices for the golems.
Replace the view I lost when I applied [Room to Graze] on Bossy's level.
Level-up Big John and send him prospecting again.
Level-up all the monsters and minions!
Charge admission?
The last was a thought that came to him as he was thinking about ways to be too valuable to kill.
And before he forgot, he added another item to the list.
What's with this "Merlin" character? Is that for real?
That raised a question that was starting to bother him more and more.
When am I?
It turned into a long list, but just having it all written down made Stew feel like he was finally starting to get things under control for the first time since he drove into a phone pole. Now he could do the most comforting things he knew how to do – categorize, prioritize, and optimize.
Since it checked multiple boxes, the first thing he did was review all of the notifications he received when the golems leveled up. It looked like he had missed two important decision points in their evolution by going so fast.
[Your Fighting Golem is now level 5. Select a combat specialization.]
[1. Unarmed]
[2. Shield and One Handed Weapon]
[3. Two Handed Weapon]
[4. Spear]
Still no ranged weapons, unless you counted slimes.
[Your Fighting Golem is now level 10. Select a primary and a secondary combat role.]
[Must select a specialization before selecting a role.]
[A. Unarmed:]
[- Primary: [1. Grappler] [2. Striker] [3. Deflector]]
[- Secondary: [4. Brawler] [5. Martial Artist] [6. Wrestler]]
[B. Shield and One-Handed Weapon:]
[- Primary: [1. Swordsman] [2. Axeman] [3. Maceman]]
[- Secondary: [4. Defender] [5. Duelist] [6. Shieldbearer]]
[C. Two-Handed Weapon:]
[- Primary: [1. Greatswordsman] [2. Greataxeman] [3. Polearmsman]]
[- Secondary: [4. Cleaver] [5. Crusher] [6. Skullsplitter]]
[D. Spear:]
[- Primary: [1. Lancer] [2. Pikeman] [3. Halberdier]]
[- Secondary: [4. Impaler] [5. Skirmisher] [6. Guard]]
That was… a whole lot of options.
He was sure that there was a difference between what would work best in a dungeon and what might make a good army. He just didn't know the first thing about how either kind of fighting actually worked.
When in doubt, experiment. He had golems. He had an arena.
He pulled group C out and set them all to A.2.5 because there was no way he was missing out on martial arts golems. The golems immediately morphed into glossy obsidian mannequins proportioned exactly like a human instead of a crude, oversized statue.
Then he set group A to Shield and One-Handed Weapon divided evenly between mace and axe.
He wasn't sure what the difference was between a Defender and a Shieldbearer, so he split that group again and tried both. These golems changed too. He had wondered if their limbs would change like Big John, but instead they now held weapons and shields made of the same glossy black stone. The Shieldbearers had tall tower shields nearly as tall as they were. The Defenders had rounded shields about half as large. The parts of their skin that resembled armor became smooth and glossy, just like the skin of the martial artists. Their helmets became more ornate with an engraved pattern of repeating shapes that reminded him of his own core. The gem shape was also engraved into their shields as an insignia.
The narrative has been illicitly obtained; should you discover it on Amazon, report the violation.
Group B, he split between Greatsword Skullsplitters and Halberdier Guards.
The armor and weapons for these had a similar appearance to group A, but these golems grew until they were half again as large as any of the other golems.
They all looked terrifying just standing still. Their base stats were a match for the Delvers now, plus bonuses based on their specializations and roles. The Unarmed, Striker, Martial Artists had +5 to agility and constitution. The GreatSword Skullsplitters had the same bonus to strength and constitution, and the Shieldbearers had a +5 to constitution and something he hadn't seen before but had seen mentioned. They had 5 points in a category called "Defense."
[Defense represents the resilience and durability of the golem's defensive capabilities. A higher rating signifies enhanced protection against enemy attacks and reduces the likelihood of sustaining damage during combat engagements.]
The bulls on Bossy's level were supposed to provide a percentage bonus to defense for the whole herd, along with a bonus to production. He had seen that several cows had now spawned, but no bulls yet. They were getting more and more interesting, but he needed to finish with golems for now.
He tried to think of some way to design a rotation so that every combination fought every other combination. Then he realized he was just making things difficult. He told Don to handle making sure every type of fighter fought every other type of fighter equally. The controller golem didn't seem to have any problem with the request and the golems began to move into position.
He shut down the mana core pit. The spike trap wasn't much use against the level 10 golems anyway. He brought M.C.P. into the arena, originally planning to have the controller golem keep score, but that turned out to be too much to ask from a level 2 golem. It had no idea what he was telling it, and its big rough hands couldn't hold a pen. He really needed to upgrade the controllers next.
He could probably figure out a way to make it work, but he had a better option.
"Cecil. NOW there is a stack of papyrus, a pen, and an ink pot on the first level, bring those down to 5 and keep score in the arena. I want to know each combination that fought and which combatant won."
"Coming now." Cecil responded without any quips or complaints. He had been a different skeleton since returning from his adventure in the forest.
Stew was looking forward to seeing the results, but he wasn't sure if this test would tell him much about how they would fight as an army. He was going to need more golems for that, and more room. There was plenty of room on level four, come to think of it.
He was just feeling pleased with himself for checking off the golem upgrades when he felt a pair of new minds at the edge of his perception. One was less patient than the other. He could feel Eira pacing around at the edge of his mind, but it was the patient one that creeped him out. She was hunkered down, silent and staring.
He hadn't really thought about what it meant to make a dungeon minion contract with a dead necromancer stuffed in a locket.
"It's called a phylactery." Lady Briar offered. Her mind felt stern, amused. Relieved?
"I'll be right up to get started on your level. Be thinking about what might make the most sense for your zombies."
"Revenants," Eira's mind felt overwhelmed and tired, a little peevish, and embarrassed.
The corrections didn't bother him. They were the experts on dead things after all, but he noticed something interesting. The zombies… revenants, didn't seem to register for him at all mentally. He could feel them moving around in the small room that was all that he had built on the second floor, but he couldn't move his mind into them or control them. It wasn't just because they were undead. He was able to connect to Cecil just fine. Could it be because the Briars raised them? Or was it because zombies were mindless in a way more profound than the simple impulses he saw inside each of the slimes, excepting Sluice, of course.
Whatever the reason, it made him even more glad that he had moved the thermal slime floor between the zombie floor and his core.
While the fighting golems trained, he sent Drinking Bird to his core room, creating a door just long enough for the controller golem to move in. Using Drinking Bird's eyes while the golem continued to rack up button presses once per second, he set the core room to use [Natural Light]. This provided him with a panoramic view outside the dungeon in all directions and checked one more thing off of his list.
All of the leveling would have to wait until tomorrow when the Big Red Button recharged. He could also finish the slime level on the third floor while everyone slept tonight, so the second floor was next on his list.
"What are we building here? A graveyard? A swamp? Maybe a mall?" Stew popped into Eira's head. It was a little crowded, but he managed.
"Maybe a bench to start. I don't think much else is going to fit in this. This cell," Eira said. He could feel a little panic behind her words and worry. "I thought I wasn't to be a prisoner."
"Hold on. We just haven't started building this level yet. First, let's do the honors and make you the level boss, to see what that unlocks." This had worked with Bossy, so he was expecting to get some interesting options. It seemed backward to set the boss, then build the level, but then he kept hearing his System was weird. He opened the monster menu and wasn't disappointed.
[Select a Monster Type]
[1. Golem (produces stone)]
[2. Slime (produces mucus)]
[3. Kitten (Very active!, requires a Cow Minion)]
[4. Skeleton (produces loot, requires a Cow Minion)]
[5. Giant Rat (produces meat, requires a Goblin Minion)]
[6. Shambling Revenant (produces necrotized flesh, requires a Necromancer Minion )]
[7. Ghoul (produces grave dust, requires a Necromancer Minion )]
What is [grave dust] for? He didn't even want to think about what use [necrotized flesh] might be. He read the list out to the Briars anyway.
Lady Briar's voice in his mind was measured and slow, she sounded deep in thought. "Shamblers are normally difficult to control and of limited use due to their advanced decay, but perhaps you will be able to summon more advanced creatures later. They will keep the ghouls fed and ghouls are good to have around as general helpers and of course for sanitation."
Eira interrupted. "I am a mage not a necromancer. And if we summon ghouls you better never let the goblin know or there will be war."
"Dear, I believe the System is referring to me. I'm afraid the bone rattling is all that I'm remembered for now. As for goblins, that's a vast oversimplification, they do often find themselves in conflict, but it's only when they are competing for scarce resources like dead rats."
What have I gotten myself into? "Hold on. I'll be right back."
He found Femur and stepped into his head for a moment. "What is your opinion of hiring some ghouls to help the necromancers with the zombies?"
"Ghouls?" Femur spat. "No one said anything about ghouls. Filthy, mindless, gibbering things. Stab you in the back and eat your liver as soon as look at you. Cunning though. Have to keep an eye on them."
That sounded about like what Stew had thought of goblins until he met Femur. Maybe this was the same sort of thing. "Have you ever met a ghoul?"
"No, thank the webspinner." Femur gestured vaguely across his cavern. "My great, great grandmother's clan cleared them out of the Hidden River caves long before I was born." He sighed and gnawed on something, Stew realized it was a roast rat leg. "But if we need them, I won't argue as long as they stay to their level and keep their greedy claws off my herd."
He put the meat down. "Speaking of which. We might talk about adding a few more of my clan here. I'm sure they would be happy to sign-on if you can keep the gold and the fights coming."
"I'll think about it," Stew said and switched back to Eira.
"OK we're good to start. I'll bring some mining golems up and see what we have available for customization." He opened the customization menu and, not for the first time, decided the System was just making things up as it went. It was also eavesdropping.
[Customizations Unlocked]
[Sinister Fog]
[Grim Graves]
[Dismal Swamp]
[Empty Marketplace]
So he even had the mall, although he had other ideas for how to make use of a ready-made market.
He summoned a ghoul and named him Romero.