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Flamethrower Diplomacy

Flamethrower Diplomacy

The heavy drumbeat of the golem's march was the only sound until they reached the treeline, where it was replaced with the snapping of branches and twigs as the golems marched right through the underbrush without pausing.

Up ahead, Stew could make out the mana glow of the two other forces converging in the forest. The undead had stopped and were now gathered closer together while the bandits spread out into a long line to the right. He couldn't tell much more through the trees.

He had Femur catch the delvers up on what he knew while they marched. He left out Cecil's messages and any mention of the false cores, just implying that he could see the two forces approaching from far away, which was strictly true, if not the whole story.

"The new band with Lithel will be the main threat, you might attack them first," Raek offered.

"Eira's not your enemy. You can reason with her," Garrick added.

"What about that other spirit that's possessed her?" Ba'Rush gave the young fighter a grim look. "You think it's left anything of her to reason with?"

"That's her grandmother. Her soul must have been hidden in that locket. You heard her, she's doing all of this to protect Eira. She would do anything to protect the last of her line." Garrick shrugged. "She just was, is, a very direct sort of person."

"I know that story," Raek said. "And it was your father who led the vote in the Senate to wipe out Eira's family. Do you think Eira knows that, because I'm sure Lady Briar did, so maybe you are one of the things she'll do anything to protect Eira from?"

Stew had no idea what they were talking about, so he stuck to his original plan. He aimed the golems straight at Eira. He could decide what to do about the bandits later. The Flamers and burning golems in the lead left smoldering footprints behind them, but the forest was damp enough that no open fires started.

Four zombies burst through the brush, charging straight at the lead golems. They wore weapons but didn't draw them. Instead, they gnashed their teeth and clawed the air, throwing themselves against the burning golems. The fire spread to the zombie's clothes and bodies, but they gnawed at the golem's stone necks with no hint of self-preservation or reason. The Flamers took the opportunity to cover them in burning oil to help the fire along.

The golems didn't react or slow and the zombies were carried along until they fell off, still burning, only to be ground under the feet of the marching golems. There were only charred rags and splintered bones by the time the delvers and Femur reached the remains, though one still tried, feebly, to claw and bite.

This had to be more of what Cecil had described. It didn't look like Eira was controlling these four at all.

The front of the column marched through the same bushes up ahead and came upon Eira's main force.

Her undead were gathered around her in a tight formation. These zombies had their weapons drawn and looked alert and aware, though they seemed oblivious to the arrows that covered them like porcupine quills.

Stew spotted Cecil standing in the back right behind Eira. He had picked up a sword from somewhere and was holding it awkwardly. Eira herself crouched in the center of her monsters, her face drawn and pale and dark circles under her eyes.

Just then, a short, heavy arrow from somewhere deep in the trees struck one of the lead golems, shattering its head with the force. A volley of arrows just like it followed, most missing or glancing off the stone bodies, but some doing considerable damage where they struck true.

Stew repaired the lead golem himself, relieved to see he could still do it in combat, then set the controllers to manage the rest of the repairs. Fortunately, the controllers themselves were on the far side from the bandits.

The noise and commotion seemed to draw Cecil's attention, he looked over at the column of golems and waved excitedly.

"You got my message!" His voice came to Stew's mind. "I wasn't sure it would work. I'll just finish Her off and we can head home." Cecil raised the sword high in both hands with the point aimed at Eira's back.

"Wait!" Garrik crouched down to look Femur in the eye. "You don't have to kill her. Let me talk to her."

"You're a strapping boy." Femur craned his head around the golems to have a look at Eira where she crouched. "You should look for a mate with more muscle. Stronger kids." He glanced around at the zombies and his eyes widened. "Oh, SHE's the necromancer. Good choice. Almost as good as a shaman and they're great at making friends. How much is she worth to you, say five gold?"

"Hold on." Stew said to both Femur and Cecil at the same time. Femur's comment and something the goblin had said earlier about the zombies making quiet neighbors gave Stew an idea. Maybe it was time to start thinking like a dungeon. "Cecil, tell her I'm willing to accept her surrender. Femur, tell Garrik to talk to her, convince her to stand down."

Femur nodded. "Boss says you get one shot. Convince her to surrender, and we won't feed her to the rats."

Stew moved his view to Cecil and told him to give Eira the message. Cecil lowered his sword and crouched slightly. Arrows still rained all around. "The Lord of the Dungeon would like to offer you the opportunity to surrender. It will not be offered again."

Eira's head snapped around. She squinted at Cecil then sighed. "This is no good. Now I've lost control of you too." She continued to herself, muttering. "I told you this was too much too soon. I can't control this number on my own."

"Talk to him!" Garrik shouted from behind the golems. "Make a deal." Then to Femur, Garrik added. "If you offer her a deal, she'll work with you. She just wants to grow her magic, and learn. She'd make a good ally. Her and her grandmother, both of them."

Some of the zombies in the front of the huddle sprouted flaming arrows. Maybe the archers were inspired by the burning golems, or maybe they had planned it all along, but these arrows were much more effective on the zombies. One, and then another fell as the flames spread. They burned like candles.

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"Eira," Garrik called out. "This is pointless. If these bandits don't hunt you down the Legion will! You need an ally!"

Eira cursed and rubbed her eyes. "Fine. I'll listen. What are the terms?" Another zombie fell, burning, but her voice was firm.

"I need to be able to trust you," Stew said, speaking directly through Cecil. "Surrender, and I'll throw my support behind you against these bandits. In return, you enter my service for five years as a minion."

"Will you stick me at a banquet table and make me tell some ridiculous tale to delvers?" She glared at Cecil. "Because that's not going to impress the battlemages Rome will send after me." Her face changed, becoming more serious. There was someone else looking through her eyes now. Her gaze bored right through Cecil and Stew felt like she could see all the way to his core. "I don't know how strong you are. You feel like a fresh incarnate. You may be of some help to my granddaughter against these bandits, but can you stand against the Republic's legions?"

More arrows struck and more zombies fell while Stew tried to think of an answer. Legions? Republic? When AM I? A flaming arrow struck Cecil, but just rattled around in his ribcage and fell out, seemingly doing no damage. "Let's talk more about legions later. Right now, isn't surviving this attack enough to start?"

"Give me another one of those crystals and get me close to their lines. I'll end this. Then we can talk."

This was just what he wanted to avoid. There was no way he was going to let her know he had brought another false core. "I have another idea."

Stew set the golems marching until they were assembled between the zombies and the bandits. More arrows landed from a seemingly endless supply, but they weren't flying randomly, nearly every strike did damage now. The golem's controllers were repairing the other golems constantly, but Stew had to repair the controllers himself.

But the burning arrows had no more effect on the golems than a regular strike. And neither seemed to have any effect on the slimes at all.

Stew spread the formation into a hollow square. Eira, Cecil, and her remaining zombies gathered in the center with Garrik, Raek, Ba'Rush, and Femur.

The archers kept to cover at first, but when they saw that the combined formation didn't move forward and that they had no ranged attacks of their own, they began to step from cover and take longer to fire, trying to pick off the living hidden among the stone warriors and the dead.

"What are we doing?" Garrik asked. "We're dead if we just stand here."

"True," Raek spoke for the first time. "But I'm assuming our host has a plan."

Plan was too strong a word. Stew waited until not just the archers but the rest of the bandits gathered in a skirmish line in front of the trees. The two Fae were there with them, Lithel in line with the archers and Sella hanging back, just watching. When the golem's sight showed Stew there were no others hiding back in the trees in reserve, he finally gave the order.

There hadn't been time to practice, so he was surprised to see how gracefully the flaming golems lifted their companions and threw, one-armed like siege engines attacking a castle. The golems, soaked in oil, and still burning, sprinted forward, following immediately after the slimes.

"Wheeee" Stew could feel the thermal slimes' excitement as they flew through the air, driving their temperature up to the maximum. Unlike cannonballs or flaming barrels from a catapult, the slimes spread themselves flat in the air and glided toward their enemies, favoring the archers.

The next few moments were a gruesome cacophony of screams, sizzling noises, and the wet thump of stone on flesh.

The bandits were completely caught off guard by the counterattack, but they fell back and to the left to regroup. Seven of them were down and unlikely to get back up. Lithel was the only surviving archer.

The Flaming golems and slimes reformed also and turned to press the attack, but vines launched themselves from the forest entangling the golems' feet and drilling into the stone of their bodies.

Speaking through Femur and Cecil in unison, Stew shouted "Attack!" and sent the entire formation sprinting at the remaining bandits at a dead run. Eira sent all of the zombies with them. Garrik, Ba'Rush, Femur, and Cecil followed close behind.

The bandits put up a fierce resistance for a few minutes, but the combined force of zombies and golems outnumbered the survivors more and more as the bandits fell. It didn't take long for them to accept that their enemies didn't mind losing a limb just to gain an advantage, and healed as quickly as they were injured.

Sella, overwhelmed with her healing efforts, had no more time to summon vines.

Cecil swung his sword wildly, doing more damage to himself than any enemy, but Femur managed to get in several jabs with his dagger, leaping between the golems' legs.

Then the high-level delvers arrived, coming around the flank of the combined force and finishing bandits in one blow as they went. That broke the bandits' line.

They scattered back into the relative safety of the forest. Lithel and Sella weren't the first to leave, but they weren't the last.

Stew held the golems back from pursuing, thinking they might be at a disadvantage in the tight spaces between the trees. Eira held the zombies back also, with considerably more effort. More and more of them were acting feral after the fight, but they soon quieted and stood in a rough line.

He could see the bandits retreating fast through the forest. There had been maybe twenty or twenty-five at the start. Now there was only Lithel, Sella, and six, maybe seven more.

Stew looked over his own ranks and saw the golems were dinged and damaged, but would be fully repaired in another minute or two. The slimes all seemed to have had a fine time and didn't have a scratch. Arrows, swords, clubs, and axes had no effect on them it seemed, and the Flamers at least were also immune to fire. This was a very good thing to know.

The zombies were in worse shape but almost all of them were still standing. Maybe Eira could find some fresh recruits among the fallen.

We won.

Stew realized this was his first actual success since awakening as a dungeon, and the plan and execution had been his own. The wolves had been terrifying, but now they worked for him. The delvers, the bandits, and the necromancer had all seemed fearsome, but they were working, if not for him, at least not against him now.

He should move fast to consolidate his power before the next threat showed up. He doubted these bandits would give up easily, and they probably wouldn't make the mistake of bringing archers to a flamethrower fight next time. Eira had also mentioned Rome and legions. That didn't sound good at all.

He realized he had other things to worry about right now. The crackle and pop of small fires sounded all around them and the smoke was starting to get thicker. The delvers and Eira were covering their faces and falling back. Femur had a dirty rag tied around his face and moved from fallen bandit to fallen bandit, finishing off the wounded and looting the bodies.

The golems and slimes might not mind the flames, but a forest fire was starting all around them, and that was likely to be bad for the health of the rest of his compatriots. It would also likely draw more attention.

"Fall back!" He had Cecil shout. "Regroup at the dungeon entrance."

He didn't trust Eira enough to send her back to the dungeon with Cecil, Femur, and the rest, but the delvers could probably handle her zombies if it came to that, and they were under contract to protect the dungeon.

Just to make sure, he started spawning more first-level golems down on the fifth level. Groups D, E, and F. If worse came to worse he could smash all of these and respawn them back at the dungeon too.

As the others retreated from the smoke and flames, he sent the golems forward to try to tear out a fire break and stomp out the fires, but he didn't know the first thing about firefighting. It didn't look like it was going to make much difference.