With Nocturne gone, the reality of the situation once again fell upon Akemi—the heroes had merely fled, not vanished; the surrounding forests were likely still swarming with them, and the moment they spotted her, she’d have hell to pay.

"I need to get out of this onesie," she grumbled, swiftly tearing the bunny ears from her head and slipping out of the furry cotton suit. It was far too distinctive.

Stripped down to her underwear, Akemi gazed in the direction where the recruits had fled. She couldn’t spot a single one. It appeared as if they had never stopped running, perhaps heading for a nearby settlement to ask for help. Regardless, their departure had left the hall entirely deserted. Akemi had half a mind to go back inside and raid the place of any potential loot, but she wasn’t that stupid. If there were any stragglers left behind, she’d be minced meat.

Weighing her options, she made one small concession to the gamer within her—to loot the bodies, at the very least—and strode up to Achilles and the fallen High Cleric. She felt for both of their pulses, pressing her fingers to their exposed necks. Nothing. Not a single, fleeting beat. Nocturne had finished the job. A wave of disappointment fell over her.

Dang it. That would have been some easy free experience.

Still, since Nocturne wasn’t totally insane, or a pervert—that Akemi knew of—he had left their clothes on. Akemi shrugged Achilles’ shirt over his broad shoulders, then yanked off his pants, and dressed herself in both, leaving him only in a white pair of undies.

You have equipped [Huntsman’s Shirt]!

You have equipped [Huntsman’s Pants]!

Tutorial Tip! To review the stats for an equipable item, simply hover over it in your inventory.

I’ll do that later.

She urgently needed to get out of here before she got caught undressing the dead.

The only remaining problem: his feet were huge, much bigger than Akemi’s own. His moleskin shoes would never fit her. Akemi considered the cleric’s boots, but they had pointy metal heels protruding from the back of them. She had avoided heels for her entire time on Earth, and planned to do the same on Kodra. Plus, they’d only make it harder to run the next time she was inevitably being chased.

Barefoot it is. At least I look less like a deranged furry now.

She sighed, and stalked towards the forest.

—

The woods to the north of the Great Hall of Kyndra were quite like the woods to the south of it—the redwood trees were unyieldingly tall, thick with thorns, and the brush was hostile. Akemi pricked herself several times just passing through, but she was careful not to complain too loudly. The threat of straggling heroes was omnipresent; despite seeing no signs of them, her heart racketed in her chest every time she broke too far from the shadows.

I should take a break and invest my skill points, she thought, her limbs heavy with exhaustion. Her adrenaline had been running on high since the morning, and it was starting to wear on her. Sitting under the shade of a tree, careful to avoid its thorns—she already had five bloody and completely unnecessary gashes in her backside—she brought up her user interface.

Rank 2 Accountant Skills Unlocked!

* Chloroform | Troublesome clients are always more agreeable once they’re asleep.

* Craft Basic Spike Trap | Put this outside your file cabinet, and the IRS will never go snooping again. Requires a crafting table and required ingredients.

Akemi had to stop herself from laughing. Chloroform? Really?

If you stumble upon this narrative on Amazon, be aware that it has been stolen from Royal Road. Please report it.

This class just gets more and more interesting.

She invested one point into Chloroform, and then spent the other on the rank 1 Accountant skill from before: Conjure Illusion. It seemed more immediately useful than the spike trap skill. She had no idea when she’d be able to get her hands on a crafting table. Plus, she really wasn’t the ingredient gathering type—she’d much rather be slicing and dicing people. It was simply a more productive use of her time.

Skill Acquired! Conjure Illusion

Skill Acquired! Chloroform

She also took a glance at the clothing she stole off that bratty archer. It was quite comfortable, but obviously not really armor, given its utter failure to save her ass from the brambles.

Huntsman’s Shirt – Armor Rating: 3

Huntsman’s Pants – Armor Rating: 2

She frowned gravely. That adds up.

She groaned, willing herself back into a standing position.

I can’t get too comfortable. I have to keep moving.

She had spent the greater part of her twenty-six year lifespan seated in her prized ergonomic gaming chair; it was a thick-cushioned and fur-lined throne, and the sudden transition to walking, standing, and generally using her limbs for things beyond opening and closing the microwave door was proving to be difficult. In fact, it was possibly her greatest challenge yet.

“Stupid back,” she growled, arching. “Stupid shoeless feet.”

The first thing she was doing when she made it to civilization?

Acquiring sneakers.

“You! It’s you! The villain who vandalized my netting and caused all of this mayhem!” shouted a voice from a few yards away, jolting Akemi from her daydreams.

How did I not notice him?

Caught in a particularly nasty bramble just a few trees ahead of her was none other than Volo—her former kidnapper. He was badly bruised and bleeding, his foot caught in a pool of crimson vines. The plant seemed almost sentient, further constricting him the more he tried to wiggle his way out.

Akemi quickly strutted up to him, brandishing her [Knife Fingers]. She stood a small distance away, pointing the curved blades towards him. Despite his weakened state, he was still big and burly; she didn’t want to risk getting hugged to death.

“I have a name, you know,” she said dryly. “Not that your mind is big enough to hold information like that.”

“I do not consort on a first name basis with the likes of your kind. In fact, I command you to cut my foot away from this hellish vine,” he huffed. “Do as I say, and I might just spare your life.”

“Spare my life?” she laughed. “You’re not really in a position to be making requests. I think that’s what you told me, wasn’t it? Back when you wrapped me up in that fish net of yours.”

Taking another menacing step towards him, she summoned her [Orb of Pestilent Bloodlust]. He shrieked as it manifested, his body fumbling further into the brush; the vines snaked around his previously free leg, twisting even tighter. Akemi was grateful she hadn’t brushed up against that variety of plant herself; she might have just died while angrily writhing.

“Okay—okay!” he yelled. “I concede, villain! I concede. Please don’t kill me.”

“Oh, goodie,” she said, faking pity. “Oh wait, I don’t care. Time to die.”

“Wait! I can help you!” he begged, and Akemi paused, the hungry orb levitating just an inch away from his nose. “You’re new here, aren’t you? To the Planes? That’s what Gio told me. Your level is low, and your villainy is artificially inflated. You must have come from somewhere else. Somewhere without a System.”

That piqued Akemi’s interest. She put a hand on her hip, dismissing the orb.

“So what if I was?”

“Then—then that would mean you have no idea what you’re doing,” he said, coughing violently. His confident facade had dropped and withered. “You have no idea where you are, or where the villain safehavens are located. Not all the heroes in the Planes are as weak as me. In this region alone, there are hundreds of Halls of Kyndra, all bearing their own specialties. Without some guidance, you’ll be under the ground by next week, I’m sure of that.”

Akemi considered his words. She wasn’t dumb. She knew he had a point. This wasn’t like a videogame where she could just look up a guide online. She had to rely on people, fickle and gross as they were, at least for now.

“Fine. Here’s how this is going to work,” she said, squatting to his level. “I’ll give you access to one leg, then you answer my questions. Once I’m satisfied, I’ll give you access to the other one. Then I’ll count to fifteen. If I still see you after that, you’re dead. Simple.”

He quivered, and looked briefly like he was going to protest, but the vines only gripped tighter.

“Okay,” he said, exhaling. “Just do it already.”

She grinned, then summoned her orb again, hovering it just above his leg where the vine lay. The pests easily devoured the plant, and then started pecking at Volo’s skin, but she dismissed them as soon as he started screaming. Akemi wasn’t a sadist, not really. If someone wasn’t going to give her experience points, she wasn’t going to sit around and enjoy their suffering. At least not the suffering of someone as boringly blasé as Volo.

“Agh,” he groaned, shaking his leg free. “T—thank you.”

“Save your breath,” she said. “This is business.”

He gave her a stern look. She could tell he was the type to take favors a little too seriously.

“Alright,” he said. “Business. So… what do you want to know?”