"You have grown since I last saw you, Tyrek." The Queen smiled at me as we walked to her golden litter. The littlest Prince and Princess were not present at the melee. Too young to see the 'accidental' deaths that regularly happened. Last I saw, Joffrey was still watching the injured and dead men get carried of the blood soaked tourney arena with a big grin.

I wonder when that was? I'd remember an ass that fine.

"I want you to come to the Red Keep and be my guest. Take a bath as soon as you get there." She continued with a laugh as she stepped up into the servant-lifted carriage.

I nodded with a small smirk. "Yes, Your Grace."

I'm going to wear that bitch like a condom...

She gave another smile and a wave of her hands at her servants as she closed the curtains. A column of red armoured guards followed her litter to the Red Keep.

Ser Jamie slapped my back. "Good show, cousin." He laughed in good humour. "I think a knighting is in order for you." He continued as I watched a few gold

cloaks loaded my gold on a cart. Baelish the gambler paid quick. He made far more money than I did today.

"Thank you." I nodded back.

"So what are you going to do with your winnings?" He enquired.

Build an army and drown the world in blood.

"Invest it of course." I answered. The gold cloaks were almost done.

"Invest in what though?" He prodded again.

"People." I answered, stoically.

A servant brought me my red silk cloak and I tossed it into the cart over the chest of gold.

"You know slavery is illegal?" He inquired in a lower tone.

I had to laugh. "Life makes slaves of us all."

The Kinlayer shook his head, exasperated, and mounted his horse.

"That was a wonderful fight, cousin. I will kill even more men in my first tournament of course." Came the voice of the Prince behind me.

I turned around and bowed at the neck. "I'm glad it was entertaining your majesty, Happy name-day to you."

The prince was mounted, as was the dog behind him. They were followed by more gold cloaks.

"Your majesty? I like the sound of that though I've never heard it before. Ride with me." He looked over his shoulder.

"Get him a horse, Hound." Was the order given to Sandor. He moved moved his own horse of to the other side of the street and pushed a silk robed merchant off his horse without warning. The man was leaving the tourney along with other minor nobility. His pretty robes were caked in shit and mud as he lay on the ground moaning in pain.

I burst into laughter, along with the prince. I mounted the horse after the smirking hound handed the reins down to me.

I see why Joffrey likes the hound.

"You fight very well." The prince continued as we rode though the capital city. "Messily though." He gestured to my gore plastered self.

If you come across this story on Amazon, be aware that it has been stolen from Royal Road. Please report it.

"Thank you for the compliment, Your Majesty." I saw his face brighten as I used the unfamiliar honorific once more.

I leaned a little closer as if I was telling him a secret. "I must say though, that there is nothing I enjoy better than making a mess out of weaklings." I spoke lowly as if conveying a great secret. It created an illusion of intimacy that is important for manipulation.

This was an opportunity I was not going to pass up. First impressions are important, much more so with royalty. I would probably not get the chance to speak to the prince alone again. He was always surrounded by worshippers.

The prince's face took on a shifty look as he too leaned toward me and whispered. "Me too."

"Too bad I'm the Mountain's squire, we could have a lot of fun." I said with a sad look on my face. "After the joust tomorrow, I will have to go back to the Westerlands and chase down brigands again." I finished with a sigh. I glanced back over at Joffrey who wore an expression of constipation, as he rubbed his both brain cells together.

We rode in silence a little longer. I spoke up again. "I am usually the interrogation specialist so my duties are pretty vital over in the Westerlands. Otherwise, bandits would run rampant."

The prince looked at me with confusion. "Interrogation specialist?" he asked.

"A fancy way of saying torture expert." I answered.

"Really? At your age?" He asked, curious.

"Torture isn't about age. It's an art form. Looking in a weakling traitors eyes as you cause them so much pain that they want to die. Making them beg you to kill them and denying them release even then." I nodded sagely. "Its the best thing in the world." I finished.

"It does sound exciting." He said, constipated look once more on his face. Both his brain cells were heating up from the friction and strain.

"Maybe when I come back in a few years when you are King, I can show your own experts a thing or two, Your Majesty." I said with cheer.

He couldn't see the game that was right in front of his face.

His face slowly took on a smile as an idea, not his own, took root and grew in his puny little mind. "Maybe you don't have to go." He blurted suddenly.

I gave him a look of confusion. "I don't understand, Your Majesty."

"Well, I'm the prince. As prince I can take sworn swords like my Hound." He gestured at Clegane's smirking

form. Clegane winked at me out of Joffrey's view.

He knew.

"What does that have to do with me leaving, Your Majesty? I don't understand." I continued to stroke his ego.

"You could be my sworn sword of course." He said with a look as if Christmas, had come early.

I gave him my best shocked looked. "What a wonderful idea." I said with a grin to match his.

My grin was for a completely different reason.

I'm so going to fuck your mom.