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Re:Ferret
Chapter 16 - Of course you're not allowed to eat the King!

Chapter 16 - Of course you're not allowed to eat the King!

Author's Spot: Ladies and Gentlemen!

This is the chapter you all were waiting for!

THE FIRST CHAPTER OF THE YEAR!!! Lol... I didn't post anything for a year! (This is a stupid joke... you can ignore it...)

Have a furry read!

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Alice PoV

"People of Alegria, I am Third Princess Alice, please remain calm and listen to what I have to say. Not long ago my knight and I were attacked by men posing as city guards, and I was injured in the confrontation as we tried to flee. After ensuring that my condition was stable my knight went out to track those men in the hopes of capturing one for interrogation, but as they are in disguise his task may not be easy. I apologise for any damages Incarnus may have caused thus far in his investigation. To Incarnus himself, I ask that you cease your investigation and return with me to the palace so that we may coordinate with the ministers and nobles for a full-scale search if you have not already apprehended the culprits."

After I made the broadcast and the doctors have fully healed my back, though I'm a little light-headed from the blood loss and apparently there's nothing even magic can do about that, I moved to wait outside the building's entrance. I can't wait to get back to the palace and sleep for a week, but first I need to know that Carn has stopped his rampage and that he isn't hurt. "Why would he run off like that before I woke up…?"

"*Sigh* As much as I'm angry about that myself, Princess, I do understand him, at least a little. Imagine if your roles were reversed: men masquerading as guards attacked you, Carn took the hit, you escaped and knew his injuries were non-fatal, but the men and their employer were still at large and their motive unknown. How would you react?" I didn't realise I'd said that out loud, but what Luanna says does make sense, sort of.

"I see what you're saying, but sti- CARN!" I stand up and start waving wildly mid-sentence as I see my fool walking up the street, only to sit back down with a red face as I see Luanna look at me with a raised eyebrow.  "I was just happy to see him, okay!? And besides, we have already k-kissed." For some reason Luanna now seems to be on the verge of entering demon mode…

As Carn got closer on my left a royal carriage stopped not far away to my right, and my entire family climbed out of it. Dave obviously clung to my leg in tears, constantly asking if I was alright but not listening to my reply at all, while my sisters just smiled as they could see I was fine. Mother seemed angry as she walked towards me and Father was awfully pale, the worst I've ever seen him, as he stayed back next to the carriage. 'Do they blame Carn for my injury…? Oh no, please don't say I can't marry him any more!'

While I was panicking I noticed everybody had frozen in shock and were looking upwards slightly. Three circles of spinning mana arrows of various elements were circling above my Father, all pointing at him from different heights and distances away to ensure he couldn't dodge them all. I tried to think if there was a second person I know of that could do something like this, but I was interrupted when my vision was blocked by a manly and comfortable shoulder. Two strong arms wrapped around me, one from either side, and a strangely reassuring leather-like material seemed to close me off from the world completely.

"I'm so glad you're okay. When I saw you get hurt, I couldn't think straight. The only thing in my mind was catching and hurting the people responsible. I'm sorry for leaving you."

'I'll be able to listen to this voice for the rest of my life…' My face is getting hot again, time to change the subject.

"I'm a little sad, but it's okay, I forgive you. Catching them was important, and I see you brought one back alive like I asked. But why is your magic pointed at my Father?" As I forgave him he unwrapped the leather, which I can see now are his wings, allowing the others to join our conversation.

"Yes, I'd like to know why you're holding my husband hostage as well, son-in-law." Mother adds something unnecessary at the end, but otherwise shares the confusion and slight fear on everyone's faces.

I take this moment to look at him and notice changes other than his wings. He doesn't really look different, but being near him feels... harsher, colder, more threatening. I felt something similar when Glater's First Minister talked about 'using' and selling me, but I was too busy fighting to think about it and this time it's far more intense. His eyes have become blood-red as well… that's disappointing, I hope they turn back when he calms down, his normal eyes are much cuter.

"Don't worry, I'll give you all some time to say your goodbyes. His death will be incredibly slow and painful after all, it's the least he deserves for hiring assassins to kill me which led to Alice being badly injured."

Cold. Unlike the warmth and love in his voice when we were hugging, just now it was so cold. Even Luanna is shaki- 'Wait, what's that shine in her eyes? Is, is she drooling?!'

"WAIT! Carn, you're saying Father was behind this? No, before that, even if he is, you can't just kill him! He's our father and a King!" Wendy shouts what I started thinking after looking away from my maid. I don't want to believe it, I know he was against Carn and I marrying, but would he really hire assassins to kill my fiance?!

"Unfortunately he is, Wendy. I overheard him muttering something about their failure after Alice's broadcast, but I didn't want to believe it either. Though if Incarnus' interrog… son-in-law, why did your wolf bring a body here? I don't mind you letting him have it as a toy, but parading it through the streets like that is a bit much, don't you think?"

"Hmm? Oh, no, you're mistaken mother-in-law. This trash is still alive, I made sure of it as he hasn't suffered enough yet seeing as he's the one that actually wounded Alice. I also thought you might want to interrogate it yourself before I end it, but I assure you he named father-in-law as their contractor. Apparently he manipulated a lower noble into contacting their organisation for him, but he underestimated the assassins' obsession with knowing their true employer and didn't take enough precautions to hide from them."

"Big Brother Carn! Even if Father is the evil guy instead of you, you can't kill him! Then you'll be evil too! And *sniff* I don't w-want *sniff* Father to d-die! *sniff*" Carn's face finally shows some emotion and the circles of arrows stop rotating.

He looks to me and I nod, giving him a small smile as I take his hand in my own but he suddenly collapses. His wings first fade to their normal appearance before vanishing, and the arrows completely dissipate as well. For some reason his wolves - both the one that came with him and the one that was with me this whole time - don't follow the arrows into oblivion, but who am I to question the laws of magic?

You might be reading a stolen copy. Visit Royal Road for the authentic version.

Thankfully a doctor was stood behind me, just in case, and before I even fall to my knees and start crying she has begun checking over my pet. Mother has the guards that accompanied them arrest my Father, to which he doesn't resist at all as he knows well that the use of assassins is illegal, and gives a tearful smile to me as she turns back to face us.

"Don't worry, Your Majesties, Sir Incarnus is just unconscious. His symptoms are indicative of mana exhaustion, but strangely he has plenty of mana left. We can keep him in the Healing Center if you'd like, to keep a close eye on him, but there is nothing wrong that I can detect. It would be fine to have him rest in the palace, he will likely wake up by himself in a day or two."

I sigh in relief and smile, but my tears won't stop. 'Why did I fall for such a weirdo?'

Incarnus Pov

“Hng….”

Feeling sluggish, I could feel a warm sensation covering my body. It wasn’t unpleasant at all, but I still had to fight my exhaustion to open my eyes from curiosity as for its origin. And what was my shock when I find out what was the said ‘origin’ of this warmth!

While having a devilish smile on her face, a girl in the nude was hugging my body, and that girl was none other than Luanna!

“W-What are you doing?!” I asked shocked at that sudden development.

“Simply doing my job, and make sure that my Princess’ pet get back to health properly.”

Something’s wrong here! W-Why is this demon suddenly acting like that?! And why is she so damn sexy?! No! No! No! I have Alice! Begone bad temptation!

“I-I’m fine now… So can you give me some space?” Doing my best to not succumb to the temptation, I tried to push Luanna aside, but she kept clinging to my body strongly while cutely pouting.

“Am I not to your taste...?” She asked me that meekly while giving me the puppy eyes, a monstrous combination, when the one doing that is usually a cold devil! The gap dear gentlemen! THE GAP! But going against what my instinct wished for, I kept trying to push her aside while reasoning with her.

“I-I already have Alice! You don’t want to betray her too don’t you?!”

“What about me?”

No… Unlike what you think, she didn’t suddenly opened the door and barged inside the room to catch me red-handed like some stereotypical rom-com story! She came out from under the blanket while also being in the nude!

“W-What the fuuuuuu?! A-Alice what in the name of the celestial cookie are you doing?!”

Trying to keep my composure I asked her that, but said composure was near the point of rupture as both Luanna and Alice came closer to me, before molesting each other while licking my body!

BY ALL THAT IS FLUFFY ON THIS EARTH! WHAT IS GOING ONNNN?!

“Seriously girls! I’m quite not against this, but I can’t say I’m not confused by what’s happening here! Can you…”

“Shhh… Can’t a wife reward her knight for his efforts once in awhile?”

As I tried to questions them for their sudden lustful attitude, Alice put a finger at my lips to interrupt me, while Luanna was interrupting me… In quite a different manner… HOLY!!!

NONONONO! Seriously this is almost creeping me out when everything turn this good without a reason! And I just can’t imagine what would happen if we were caught while doing sure immo…

“So Son-in-law, did you finally…”

ME AND MY GODDAMN BIG MOUTH!

This time it really happened like a typical cockblock! All of a sudden Mother-in-law suddenly barged in, while being followed by both Wendy and Mira right behind her, who all had their mouth wide open in shock at what they  were seeing. But for some reason, Luanna and Alice kept ‘treating’ me without even minding the newcomer… WHO STARTED TO TAKE OFF THEIR CLOTHES?! WUTTTTT?!

… Mother-in-law sure have quite the body for her a… NONONONO! This is getting weirder by the second! But most of all it’s getting dangerous! This is really getting too stimulating and my ferret instinct is taking other! At this rate I’m seriously going to ‘do’ the whole royal family! I would almost feel bad for this dumbass which must be stuck in pri…

“What’s going on here?!”

WHY IS HE HEREEEE?! Wasn’t he supposed to be in prison?!

W-Why are you looking at me with those lustful eyes?! WHY ARE YOU TAKING OFF YOUR CLOTHESSSS?!

… Thankfully for my sanity… This is the moment I decided to wake up from this ‘nightmare’. To my side was Luanna who was looking down on me with her usual cold eyes, which almost felt comforting for once… This is going to be awkward next time I see Mother-in-law, but before that.

“... Luanna… CAN YOU BRING ME A BASIN IN A HURRY?! I-I’m going to… BUUUARRGGG!”

The view of the furry naked body of my father-in-law was still too much on my mind to even think about the nice parts for now… Resulting in me vomiting on the bed’s cover. Yup… This is going to become trauma…

~~~ a short while later ~~~

Alice sat on the bed right beside me and Astael sat on a nearby chair.

“How long have I been sleeping?” I ask them.

“Two days.” The Queen answered, and I feel my jaw falling. “The doctors said it was because you exhausted your mana and it would take to two or three days of rest so that you could recover from the backslash.”

"Your Highness, an unbelievably gigantic penis-shaped Ent is moving towards the city while destroying everything in its path. The GFR Reserve Squad are suiting up now to hold it off but it's highly unlikely that they'll have the firepower to stop it and our main force is still stationed at the Moon Base after fighting off the last alien invasion! They won't make it back before the monster reaches us!" Some random soldier interrupts our talk by shouting at us.

"Penis-shaped Ent? Alien invasion? Moon base? No, don't tell me, I don't think I can cope with it. Let's start with what the hell a GFR Reserve Squad is, please?" I ask as I feel a headache coming. A very, very painful headache. 'This world is fucked up!'

"GFR stands for Giant Fighting Robot, son-in-law. They are the main forces of our army."

"Oh, I get it now, I still haven't woken up yet, have I?" I say to the two royals with a pleading expression on my face. They only show sympathy and pity in return.

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It was short... I promise to bring a new one as fast as I can! I promise it!