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Chapter 10 - Boredom is to Ferrets as Curiosity is to Cats

Chapter 10 - Boredom is to Ferrets as Curiosity is to Cats

Author's Spot: Ladies and Gentlemen!

I did it again! YAY!!! *Clapping sounds*

Stop... you're making me blush... *blushing*

*Cough*I did started a new fic. I should stop thinking what I should write... but once in awhile I get too bored to write some of the fics I have here and just start a new one... Tee hee~ ;p.

Have a furry read!

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Incarnus PoV

Looking up at the sunny and cloudless sky as I lie on the roof of the carriage, a shiver runs down my spine. 'That was odd, Luanna wasn't smiling at me so what the hell was that feeling of potential doom? Also, why did I suddenly fantasise about twins…? ALICE HAS A TWIN SISTER?! Oh, by the gods, let Alice have a twin sister who'll join us for nighttime exercises!'

As that thought finishes two new senses of dread emerge from within the carriage and I purposefully forget the train of thought I was just on. 'Hey, Screen, you got any anime we could watch?' A bead of cold sweat trickles from my forehead.

[table=brown]Why should I be able to reproduce any anime? You are the one that liked to watch and read things, and before you ask I DON’T HAVE AN INTERNET CONNECTION!  I am not able to download anime or any novels you want.[/table]

‘This is strange… I thought you could do that… So all the knowledge you have from anime and such things came from me?’ I asked.

[table=brown]How did you not realise that? I was ‘born’ practically at the same time you started to live! Well, I had already been born but was not being used…[/table]

‘It would suck to be you.’ I stated as a howl reaches my ears. I had sent three dire wolves on ahead to act as scouts while the other two would stay close to the carriage and protect its contents - my precious thighs Alice.

I look around to see what has happened to my summons, since one of them has disappeared.

“Luanna! I’m going ahead, something is odd. One of the dire wolves was killed and two of them are injured.” I tell the maid that was controlling the carriage.

“GO, but you need to return, since Alice-ojou will get mad if you are not here.” She says without looking my way, she just waves her hand as if saying 'take care'…

I leap and unfold my wings, flying a little faster than the horses that are pulling the carriage.

I fly for a few minutes and discover a human party attacking my wolves, that kept attacking despite being injured. They would never run away since I could just summon them again.

“Hey, this kind of wolf is odd! Their attacks are heavier than the other ones and they don’t fear us!” A warrior that was parrying one wolf said that.

“Yes, they are odd! The one that died earlier just disappeared after being beat! We couldn’t get anything from him!” A male mage said, he had created an Earth Wall to protect his body from a charging wolf.

I was watching the six-person army, they were well coordinated and no one entered in the way of the attack of the others. The party was well balanced, a swordsman that had a shield, a mage swordsman, an archer, a priest or healer, a total mage, and one that had a big backpack.

I was looking at the mage creating magic and the wolves evading it, sending out a few small howls to call me since they have already felt and smelled my presence.

When my second dire wolf died by the magic swordsman I stepped in front of them, stopping the warrior's and the mage's attacks.

“Hey guys, what are you doing to my animals?” I ask and I could see that the females, the priest, the archer and the one with the backpack, shout with shock in their voices. “Did they do something to you?” I had used weak mana arrows to stop both attacks since I would not have been able to hold back with my sword and would have attacked with full power.

The surviving wolf walked to me and stopped when he reached my feet. He ‘bows’ and a small urgency appears at his voice. It was like he was saying that I should just call the wolves again to beat them down. I shook my head and whisper to him saying that it is not the time to do that.

“You guys are not going to tell me why were you attacking my animals?” I was starting to get angry at them. ‘Who do they think they are?’

“W-we just saw an unusual pack of wolves and wanted to get them down since we are training here, Sir.” The mage looked at me with shining eyes. ‘Fuck off! You are creeping me here!’

“Sir, I want to ask, but how can you control this dangerous animal? They were too powerful and we had to work together to kill the other two and wound that one.” Said the magic swordsman.

“It is a trade secret and you don’t need to know.” I say making a signal with my right hand. “I understand that you wanted to kill them, but because of you I got distracted and have lost my scouting force… But who cares.” I dismiss the wolf that had various wounds and resummon the 3 wolves that have been killed. “Now this is better.”

I look at the human party and all of them were standing there with their open jaws. I almost burst into a laughing fit but I endured it since I wanted to ‘play’ with them.

“MASTER!” The mage bows before me. ‘Fuck… I think I broke him already…’

[table=brown]Man! I knew it would be good to look around you while you are traveling! This is the best![/table]

‘Fuck off!’ I shout to the stupid Screen. “Why am I suddenly your master?” I ask the mage whose eyes were almost as bright as the sun. ‘Stop looking at me with such admiration! It is creepy!’ I could see that the magic swordsman was looking at my equipment and he now understood that I had used magic and I have a sword too. ‘Et tu Brutus!’ I thought when he got closer.

““Please teach us magic!”” Both say in unison as they look at each other with a smile on their faces.

“No! I have things to do and I don’t know how to train people!” I tell them and I start to walk away. “You three, go back to scouting the area and if you see any other adventurers just kill them avoid them.” I tell my wolves. They nod and run to the woods. I start to walk again but now the warrior won’t let me continue walking.

“Do you intend to not let me pass?” I lift my right eyebrow seeing his action.

“Yeah, that is the plan. You are going to teach us or it won't just be your wolves that we kill.” ‘That warrior actually thinks he is more powerful than me… should I just kill him?’ I look at his stature and then glance at the others. The two that actually wanted to learn were nervously looking back and forth from the warrior to me, the one with the backpack was looking at me apologetically, and the other two girls were watching with anticipation for the fight they knew was coming.

[table=brown]YES! GO FOR IT! It has been nearly two days since you killed anything and you just killed animals. They are not giving you that much EXP like before because your level is too high… so kill them! Humans naturally give more EXP and since you have the ‘demon’ race you gain bonuses for doing ‘evil' and 'cruel’ things![/table]

‘Who are you and what have you done to Screen?!’ I almost jumped seeing Screen’s reaction. I don't think he's ever been this excited before, except for that incident I desperately want to forget.

[table=brown]I am bored here! I can do nothing and you don’t do anything about Alice. I want to see you and her fucking like you did with that ferret… but you could be a little less violent with her…[/table]

‘I am a gentleman! It is obvious that I am going to be gentle with her! But first I need to get past the demonic maid guardian…’ I answer Screen’s question.

“You got so scared that you can’t move?” The warrior says and starts to laughs. “Guys! This guy here is a chicken that only knows how to fight with numbers!” ‘Do you know who you are pissing off?’ I glare at him.

[table=brown]Just go for the kill. I will not tell anyone about it, I can’t tell anyone anyway.[/table]

(Ultrabenosaurus: you liar! You're totally gonna blab to the other Screens at your next tea party!)

‘It is good to know that.’ I tell the Screen who seems like he wants to see blood. “I think you don’t know who I am.” I smile and kick the ground, appearing behind the warrior in an instant. “Are you looking for me?” I say as I poke his cheek with my finger.

He jumps away unsheathing his sword. “Guys! Attack him but don't kill him! If we win I am sure that he will let us be his apprentices!”

‘I really wonder how his head works.’

[table=brown]Yeah, same question here… I think he is just stupid. So, why did you not kill him already?[/table]

‘Hey! I am bored as well! I want to play with them a little!’ I answer his question while I unsheathe my sword.

"You guys, this fool surely isn't your leader, right? He has the reasoning abilities of a 5 year old!" I taunt the warrior, hoping he'll lose his cool and make it easier for me to lead him in this dance.

"You bastard!" We have a winner! The idiot just lunged straight at me with a beautifully telegraphed swing from my lower left to upper right. I step back to allow his sword to miss me by a single centimetre, then step in again so he can't use his sword easily.

"But seriously, what would be the point in having me as your master if you beat me, huh?" My wolves bark… more like yip happily as I point out the second most stupid thing he's said so far. As he leaps back to get some space between us I swat an arrow out of the air with my bare hand. 'Oi! That was going straight for my head, bitch! What happened to not killing me?!' I don't say anything, but I glare at her to get the message across. She simply smiles. If only she was at least at Maria's level of beauty, I might actually let her live.

Our dance continues as the magic swordsman joins the warrior in attacking me, the archer taking shots every now and then when her companions take slightly more distance. This gives me an idea… As I close in for a feint I step sideways slightly, around the warrior, before letting them come at me like usual. 'Any second... NOW!'

I jump away at exactly the same time as my two opponents and an arrow whistles through the space my head was in a moment ago, but still finds a target. So far I'd been knocking all of her arrows out of the sky, this is the first time I've dodged one so none of them were expecting it. Especially the healer who is now lying motionless on the ground, a feathered stick poking out from one of her eyes.

"Lesson one, my disciples, be aware of your comrades' locations at all times." I say in a jovial tone to them all but looking straight into the eyes of a now kneeling and crying archer.

[table=brown]If I had a body I think I'd be rolling in the ground holding my stomach right about now...[/table]

(Ultrabenosaurus: I wrote this Screen, but author-sama changed it because apparently appreciating guro is weird or something. I call bullshit.)

Let's ignore Screen for the next week year. Moving on.

The others are staring at their healer, shock and tears on all faces but the warrior who is quickly getting very, very angry.

"YOU FUCKER! I'LL KILL YOU!" He screeches while lunging at me again, this time for a flat horizontal sweep which I easily jump over, kicking him in the face for good measure while I'm in the air.

"How is that my fault? Your archer friend shot an arrow at the moment I jumped back, without thinking of what could happen if I dodged. Just because I'd been blocking them this whole time you think I'd never dodge? Besides, you people attacked me, and she's been aiming at nothing but my head the entire time."

The genuine version of this novel can be found on another site. Support the author by reading it there.

*sigh* 'Well this is no good, other than the warrior they've all lost the desire to fight now… I wanted to play with them longer!' I think as I dodge yet another blatantly obvious sword swing from Mr. No Feints.

"Incarnus, what the hell are you doing? I specifically told you to hurry back so as not to worry the Princess, but when she orders me to go look for you because you're taking too long I find you playing with a bunch of newbie human adventurers. Care to explain?" Huh? What's this...? Why am I already in seiza? When did that happen?!

Glancing out the corner of my eye, my toys are understandably surprised to see their tormentor drop to his knees in fear of what appears to be a normal maid. 'If only they knew…'

"I'm sorry! They were hunting my wolves for sport, when I summoned new ones after telling them to stop the mage and magic swordsman wanted to be my apprentices. I said no, but the warrior blocked me and called his party to attack. I've been bored lately so I thought I'd have some fun with them, but as soon as the archer shot her friend in the eye they all look like they've given up on life except for the idiot. I was just about to behead them all and loot their bodies when you decided to grace me with your divine presence, mistress Luanna! Please don't castrate me!"

“Oh! This one here?” She shows me a head. ‘Fuck! She already killed one of my toys!’ I thought looking at her hands.

Alice PoV

“Where is Carn?” I ask as I look at the ceiling.

“He left a little while ago, Princess, saying that he wanted to see why one of his wolves had howled.” Luanna answers my question and I pout.

“I am bored and he runs away to play with his wolves?! I wanted to pet him!” I look towards Luanna's back and I can hear that she is sighing.

“Milady Alice, you should come back! What will you do if an assassin appears and tries to kill you?” Maria shouts from inside the carriage. She was pulling on my waist since I had leaned out the window to look at the roof.

“No one is close. If they were the wolves Carn left with us would be more eager to kill them.” I try to sooth her. “Yet they are travelling like normal, so there is no problem! Luanna, did he say when he is going to come back?” I question the maid.

“No, but I said that he should not waste time and that he should hurry back after settling things.” She answers without looking back. I sigh in defeat and let Maria pull me back into the wagon.

“He is late!” It had been 30 minutes already and he is not back! “Why is he not back yet?”

“Do you want me to go out and look for him, milady?” Maria asks me.

“No Maria, you stay with Alice-ojou. I will go look for that perverted idiot.” Luanna says, stopping the carriage.

“But what will you do if he is in combat?” I ask her because I know what will happen if she talks to him. He will sit in seiza without minding where he is if she says anything with ‘that’ tone.

“I’ll be sure to just talk to him if I ever see the need. Princess, I am leaving.” She bows and runs to the forest. I just sat at the door.

“Where are you and what are you doing, stupid Carn.” I hug my knees since I am feeling a little lonely without my ferret.

I did not have to wait that long before a mad Luanna comes out of the forest carrying a crying ferret by his neck.

He looked at me and with his paws he cleans his wet fur, but it was not helping since he would not stop crying.

“Stop crying, you little perverted furball.” Luanna swung him up and down to make him stop. “This is your reward. You made our lady worried.” Luanna says while looking straight at his eyes. She was smiling but the demon vibe was all around her. I gulped loudly and walked to her.

“You can give him to me now.” I tell her and with a sigh she gives me the shaking furball. I get him and holding him near my stomach I enter the carriage.

It was just after 20 minutes of petting and letting him sit on my lap that he calmed down, but he would whimper from time to time. I don’t know what Luanna said or did to him but it looks like it will probably make sure he doesn't lose track of time again.

I continued to try to cheer him up, but he would not do anything and after 30 minutes he started to sleep on my lap. I tried to put him on the cushions but he would tremble and I would have to put him back on my thighs to make him stop. It repeated four times before I thought about embracing him while I nap a little, since I did not have anything to do. Maria was inside the carriage with me and was returning some things to their places since I had looked all over to find something to do just to find nothing.

I slept a little with the cute ferret right beside me in the bed and what I saw when I woke up is that he was staring at me. His azure eyes looking at my own and I could believe that I had lost myself inside those pool. But shaking my head I look at him again just to find that he had tilted his head.

“It is nothing.” I say, petting his head once more. His ears were fluffy and I wanted to use him as a scarf sometime. ‘It looks like it would be good to ‘wear’ him.’ I chuckle when that thought appears in my mind. “Let’s go out to eat something?” I ask him. He nods but does not jump down, he sits right before me as if waiting for me. ‘He is probably too scared to go alone to see Luanna… And I really want to know what she did to him to make him act like that…’ I thought while I get up.

“Milady, why is your face is so red?” Maria asks me. ‘It is red?’ I touch my head with my right hand since I had the left carrying Carn against my stomach.

“I think… it is nothing. I am just feeling a little hot.” I tell them and Carn jumps at my shoulder and with his paw he touches my head.

“*Squeak!**Squeak!**Squeak!*” He says. I didn’t understand, but I think he is saying that I am probably ill. I think I am… but I am more ill if I don’t get to see Incarnus during the day.

“You should go rest after eating. I am almost finishing the dinner.” Luanna says without looking at us. “*Sigh* When are you going to grow up and stop running to Alice-ojou every time I lecture you?"

I feel Incarnus go stiff for a few seconds before running to the carriage and shutting the door, just to leave again a few seconds later in his human form.

“I’ll stop *Snifle* after you stop saying that you are going to cut it off.” I tilt my head, thinking what he was talking about and notice he is crying again… but it I didn’t understand what they are saying…

“Can you guys tell me what are you talking about?” I ask them and they all shake their heads.

“Milady, you are going to understand it when you are a little older. But for now you don’t need to know.” Luanna says without looking back. I look at Incarnus and he shakes his head.

“My lips are sealed. I can’t tell you now… but I will tell you in the future.” He looks like he is panicking but he looks at Luanna and shivers. I pout at him and take his hands.

“Sit here.” I point to a ‘chair’ we are using to eat and he does what I had said, but I can see that he doesn’t understand what I want. “You are not to move from here. You are now a chair!” I tell him to which he nods and stops moving. I nod at his reaction, leap onto his lap and without stopping I grab his tail and put it on my lap. The fluffiness that I felt from his tail was completely different from my own tail.

“Hmm… Alice… I think this is not a good idea-” Incarnus started to say something but I don’t let him finish.

“Did you ever hear a chair talking? No? Good.” I continue to sit there as I wait for the food that Luanna is cooking. I heard someone laughing but when I looked at the two maids I couldn’t tell which was the one that laughed so I shrug it off. “Hey. Pet me a little.” I order my chair to do it and he starts stroking my head and ears, I can see that he is worried about something but it is good enough so I let him do it for two minutes until my food is placed before me.

He stops so I can start to eat and I hear a sigh coming from him, but I didn’t mind it since I was hungry.

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Spoiler :

[table=brown]STATUSNameIncarnusRaceFerretLevel73GenderMaleClassDemonically Fluffy Hero FerretHealth100%Mana100%Stamina100%Satiety100/100Strength130Vitality130Agility135Dexterity134Intelligence130Wisdom130Unlocated points12[/table]

[table=brown]SKILLDemon BodyUpgradeRollUpgradeTiger ClawsUpgradeInflammable GasUpgradeCharming God EyesUpgradeSummon FamiliarUpgradeInventoryUpgradeFlame WheelUpgradeDemon WingsUpgradeDominationUpgradeSemen DemonUpgradeHumanificationUpgradeSpinning Mana ArrowsUpgradeMana EdgeUpgradeBasic Fire MagicUpgradeBasic Water MagicUpgradeBasic Wind MagicUpgradeBasic Earth MagicUpgradeBasic Light MagicUpgradeBasic Darkness MagicUpgradeHidden Skill: Thigh SensingUpgradeMini Mind MappingUpgradeUnlocated points15[/table]

Chapter PRed by Ultrabenosaurus