I remember the city of Ara’thi. I remember cityscapes stretching so high into the sky it felt like living among the clouds. I remember gardens, lush beautiful gardens winding through the world. A flawless oasis. I remember art so beautifully sculpted the forms looked like life frozen in stone. I remember laughter, I remember music, I remember families. I remember happiness, frivolity, and silliness.
I remember security. I remember FATHER and how he failed us. I remember the greed and contempt behind our downfall. I remember twelve billion dead in one hour. For what?
We were brilliant, our children had more intellect than the brightest of any other. But now with the gas that brilliance fades. I will bring it back. I will bring all of it back and then some. I am the last of the thinkers for now, but they will rise again.
I remember a golden age, a golden age that will come back to us. Brighter than it was before.
-Doc Vorran season is warming.
ALARIC:
Mother wraps her arms around me tight never wanting to let me go. I squeeze her in my arms holding back the water in my eyes. Or, I’m trying to. This feels like a final goodbye. There’s tension in the crisp air, our family is disintegrating before our very eyes. Like a ball of snow melting in her hands she’s powerless to pull it back together.
Talea and Lesedi went off to get themselves killed, Lesedi is supposed to be the sensible one. That’s the hardest part to believe in all this, she should stay here with mother and father. Talea has always been the reckless one, the hot head, impulsive with feet quick to run to trouble. We’ve always known Talea would never grow old, but Lesedi is special. We’ve all known it since she was three. Lesedi will someday be a brilliant professor, doctor, scientist, or whatever she wants to be in Safehaven. She could sit at council; she could change the world.
That’s a far cry from the rikue hole our family climbed out of. The most any of us could hope for is a better hole. But not Lesedi. I couldn’t break her reasoning; she doesn’t see it but she’s every bit as stubborn as her sister.
Lesedi is the water to Talea’s fire. Without Lesedi, Talea will burn herself and everyone around her to ash, and her sister knows it. I sigh, all she is would die anyway if Talea gets killed when Lesedi could’ve stopped it.
Mother finally relinquishes the hug. There are no tears, she cried herself empty in private. Her soft hand reaches up to touch my cheek. Her voice is pleading but dignified. “We would welcome children here. Gerafar can wait until next year.”
I smile with a loving expression and squeeze her hands. No. My children will not live in fear. I know if we stay for one year, we will never leave. My children will live in Evos. It’s risky, dangerous, and yes stupid. But it’s now or never.
I speak with as much tenderness as I can. “I know Mother. I promise, we will be fine. I love you, so very much.” My voice chokes on the end of my sentence.
She nods with resignation and pulls out a pouch of coins. She places them in my hands. “The Hengs have a wind duster route from Gerafar. Send word to them for us as soon as you get there safe. Then when lute ends send a trainer to our home. We want to hear from you regularly.”
I shake my head. “Mother, this is all of your funds for the entire season. We can’t take this.”
She shushes me and points her index finger at my face. “I’ll not hear any resistance from you. Do it. There’s enough there to send another trainer when you reach Evos.”
I attempt to refuse. “But-“
As if I’m a child she raises her eyebrows and smacks me in the side of the head. “No buts Alaric.” She lowers her hand and takes a deep breath pulling a smile onto her face. Her voice has a forced softness to it. “We have plenty of food to get through Lune and your father has plenty of work lined up. We will come visit you in the new warmth, after lune’s end. We want to be with you to welcome the little ones to the world.”
I nod. “It’s only three months away. Ilana will have barely begun to show by then.”
Ilana giggles and slaps my shoulder. “I’ll be as big as Arcarus then.”
A sweet laughter rolls through us. I turn to father, another embrace, though this one isn’t as drawn out. As the hug breaks father grips the back of my neck and pulls my ears close to his mouth discreetly.
His voice is low so only he and I can hear. “Regardless of what happens, I never want you to think you abandoned us.”
I try to interrupt. “What I-”
Father hushes me and glances to his right. Mother and Ilana are saying goodbye. He pulls back some to look into my eyes while keeping his hand cupped around the back of my neck.
His voice keeps a firm temper. “Winds of change are coming son. There’s no telling what’s ahead. But I need your promise now. No matter what happens. You will feel no guilt. You will be happy. You will live. Say it now.”
With hesitation I give my promise, struggling to comprehend what he’s getting at. “I will feel no guilt. I’ll be happy. I’ll live. But Fa-”
My father smiles and pats me on the beck. His voice changes to one full of happiness and life. But it doesn’t feel real. “There’s a good man. We’ll be seeing you in three months. I hope you make room. I doubt your mother will let us leave for quite a while.”
I laugh. “We’ll send word. If everything goes well, we’ll be in Evos. If not, could you cope with some time spent in Gerafar?”
Father shrugs. “Zoey’s never seen a real town. Poor thing always gets left behind when we go to the big market. She’d love to see it.” A smirk comes to his face. “I wouldn’t mind stepping foot in a real tavern again.”
“Trigan you shiner!” Mother rolls her eyes. “It’s always about the booze for you.”
I laugh as father turns to mother and elbows her. “Not that I’m complaining about the rum you make, love, but there’s something about a Gerafar ale.”
I frown. “Wait, Mother makes what now?”
Father laughs as he pulls Mother in for a kiss. “You never told him?”
She shrugs. “I was waiting until he’s old enough to understand.”
My father bellows out a loud laugh. “Dear he’s twenty-four years old. He’s got children on the way. Believe me, he’ll know about drinking.”
Mother punches him in the chest. I look on with a combination of disbelief and an inability to keep from laughing. “How?”
She lets out a sigh and glares at my father. “There’s a room beneath the barn, beside the tog bunker, your father built it for me when we moved from Gerafar.”
I gasp and laugh simultaneously. “All these years? You’ve been making rum?”
She turns to glare at Father again. “Yes. Thank you for that dear.”
Father chuckles and pulls her close. “How do you think we’ve made it through all these years? I don’t make enough tables for that.”
I frown. “But I thought you always sell your custom trunks at the big market. You always bring two or three-” I pause as realization dawns over me.
“What do you think was in those trunks boy?” Father elbows me.
Mother throws her arms into the air. “Great, the boy leaves us thinking his mother is a lowly rum peddler.”
Father pulls her in for a side hug. “Hey, it’s the best rum in all the outlands and you know it. You’ve got a gift.”
She pulls her hands over her eyes. “Just go.” She waves towards the horizon from the open door. “You’ve been letting all the heat out anyway.”
I nod and before walking away I place one hand on each of them. I pull them both in for a final hug. “I appreciate everything you’ve both done for me. For all of us. I love you.”
They pat my back and wave as I walk away with snowshoes strapped to my feet. It’s a long snowy trek to Gerafar, one the stocky orbigs can’t make with the snow too high. An escort seems like the stupidest and smartest plan. I feel like my insides are shaking, I feel guilty for endangering Ilana this way, but she insisted we go for it. Talea says the nightstalkers will have zigons. I’ve never ridden one before, I’ve never wanted to. The wild untamed beasts of colossal size are dangerous and unpredictable. Similar to my cousin, whose hands I’m placing the safety of my family in. My unpredictable reckless cousin.
I look back and see the door has closed to our home, my parents are gone. I take Ilanna’s hand while we trek across the farm I’ve known for so long. My home. We pass the barn to see the empty corral and I think of the tog hibernating in the bunker. Then I laugh as I think of my mother’s secret still. I shake my head, all these years not only did she keep us afloat but she kept it a secret. I imagine she was worried we would settle for being stillers instead of carpenters. A nobler profession, albeit less profitable.
I remember mother saying she was raised in a tavern. Her parents also came from Thraz and brought their craft with them. Parents sacrifice their entire lives for their children. Both of mine risked everything to start fresh in the outlands so that I could have a better life ahead of me. To not be raised in a tavern at the mercy of nighstalker blockades.
I feel myself firm as I reach that same resolve. My children will live better, I will do anything I need to make that possible. I will take any risk I need, work any job, make any sacrifice that is necessary.
✽✽✽
TALEA:
Othin tucks his arm around me as if he’s a shield from the world. His eyes are alert and dart across the horizon. We perch on top of Guzu while the last blush colors of Arcarus fall below the horizon. The eerie blue of Onay comes over the snow and begins to fade fast. It creates a twinkle on the crackled ice of the frozen river. Small spurts of water trickle down what was once a mighty river, but under the weight of ice, has been reduced to a creek.
My nerves pulse with panic. Where is Alaric? He’s nowhere to be found and he’s supposed to be here by sunset. I can’t hold the nightstalkers back from travelling, at least not for long. They’re irritated as it is with the number of skysingers coming on this venture. My body feels antsy and twitches with anxiety. I gained some recognition with them last night, but nothing grand enough to command them and they obey.
I glance over to Lesedi. She’s replaced her typically thin pants that she wears under her veya with thick wooly ones. Poofs of blue surround the top of her calf from the tog lining in her boots. A purple scarf fluffs around her face as she sits with delicate grace scribbling in her book. A journal she said. As she writes she holds a small lantern with a delicate flame sheltered inside glass walls. She carries a pouch full of spark fruits. Soft almost clear fruit the size of a fist, inside they’re full of flammable fluid. They’re fragile and can easily pop, she has to handle them with extreme care.
I remember her words when I tried to tease her about the effort, she puts into being able to scribble in a book. “It’s important to document our journey. Especially if we change the world. People will want to know what happened.” Though I don’t understand why she has two.
My fingers fidget with anxious energy. Othin’s deep voice speaks low into my ear. “I worry too Talea.”
I purse my lips and nod. “They should’ve been here by now.”
His large hands squeeze with reassurance at my shoulders. I can feel the heat of his palms through my tunic. “The snow is deep. It may slow them.”
I take in a slow breath. “I know. But we can’t wait much longer.” I turn my head towards the nightstalkers mounting their zigons. “They’re raged to the stars already over the escort.”
A subtle grin comes to his face from me using a nightstalker expression. He turns his hand palm up and places mine on top. I look so small compared to him, it’s still hard to get used to, I’ve never looked small compared to anyone. To Lesedi he must be gigantic. His lips place a gentle kiss on the top of my hand, I can feel his warm breath on my skin. It sends distracting shivers up my spine.
Othin grins and fills with mischief. “Too bad.”
I frown. “Too bad what?”
His devilish smile widens. “Others are nearby. They inhibit you.” I can feel Othin’s will pushing upon me, he doesn’t need words, I know exactly what he wants.
I smack him in the hand and then the cheek. “Prenk!”
He sighs and leans back. “You use that word a lot.”
I cross my arms. “You give me reason to. A lot.”
Smugness swallows his expression. “Yet, you love me.”
I nod. “That I do. You’re a pain in the hind, but I love you.”
He laughs. “You are not the easiest to handle either.”
“And yet,” I smile and lean forward to peck him on the cheek. “You love me.”
Othin’s eyes light up with a complex mix of feelings I can’t identify. “I do.”
Vrx approaches us, at first glance he seems more concerning than the twins. He’s taller than Othin, beefier, and the epitome of typical nightstalker. His hair is wild and stringy falling where it may with eyes hungering for violence. All he emits is a need for killing, I can feel it in him. He walks with a slight crouch as if he’s ready to attack at any time. A brute of little words.
“Daypeople.” His voice is thick and shrouded by rasp. It’s like his voice box was sent through a grinder. He points westward.
I spot a figure in the snow, Alaric. I let out a long-held breath of relief and leap from Guzu’s back in the snow. The white powder plumes around me like a fallen cloud. I half run half trudge towards them, not exactly graceful or stealthy but I don’t care. They made it and that’s what matters.
The clouds form thin strings across the sky. The gray blue has almost darkened to indigo. The blue light is gone and the twinkle of stars is spreading across the sky. I want them on a zigon as quick as possible, they’ll be safe there.
As I get closer, I pause with hesitation, there are three figures marching towards us not two. My breath catches in my chest and my stomach rolls up in knots. Echo is with them.
I stomp towards my cousin with a raging storm pulsing from me. Her straight dark blue hair is pulled back into a braid. She wears an ensemble of dark blue leather complete with a tight jacket and pants tucked into wet boots. She carries a small pack on her back and a belt around her hips lined with knives. She came dressed for war, stupid stubborn girl.
I glare at her and grab her left shoulder. “Echo! What are you doing here?”
Alaric speaks through gritted teeth. “It’s why we’re late. She waited until we were out of sight from the house and followed us. We spent an hour trying to get her to go back home but she wouldn’t go. Stubborn girl.”
Echo crosses her arms. “Oh psh. It’s not like I’m gonna hold you back.”
My grip on her shoulder tightens. My voice is low but fuming. “Echo, I don’t need this right now. The nightstalkers are pissed as it is with how many skysingers are coming. With an addition I don’t know if I can protect you.”
She raises her eyebrows and pulls my hand away from her. It looks like she’s trying to keep from laughing. “Please. I don’t need protecting.”
I want to shout a curse to the void. Arrogant child, she has no idea what she’s getting into! I pinch the bridge of my nose taking in slow deep breaths. Calm. Think. There’s no fighting echo, she’s always done as she pleases. It’s how she is and how she’s always been. Now I know how Wren feels. That woman is stronger than I’ve ever given her credit for.
I stand up straight and lock eyes with Echo. “Fine. But I don’t understand what in the world you’d want to go to Gerafar for.”
A devious smile wraps up her lips. “I’m not going to Gerafar. I’m going to Safehaven. You’re going that direction anyway.”
Fury twists and bellows inside me, I push back against it. Lesedi will find a way to deal with this. I place my arm around Alaric’s shoulders, Ilana clings to his arm in scared silence. I can see fear in her eyes but she’s trying so hard to look brave.
Alaric forces a smile. “It’s good to see you Tal, despite the circumstances.”
I nod. “Good to see you too. Are you carrying your bow?”
He pats his hip beneath the bottom edge of his jacket. I can see the ends of the crossbow hanging from his side. I shake my head. “Don’t use it, don’t even pull it out. Not even if there’s trouble.”
He frowns. “Why?”
We pick up the pace while I see a couple of zigons beginning to pull away. “Nightstalkers are all about strength and skill. A bow is cheating, to them. Don’t question it obey it. Do you have a blade?”
He shakes his head. Echo pulls one of her many, many, knives from her belt. She hands it to Alaric. “Now you do. Try not to die ok?” She pats him on the chest and walks away shaking her head.
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I take another breath; it’s going to be a long trip. “I know you don’t have much training in these. But this is your defense, not the bow. Do you understand?” He nods. I point over towards our pack. “Good. Do you see the nightstalker over there with the big black cloak and his hair pulled back?” Alaric nods again trying to take all of this in. “That’s Othin. He is your only nightstalker ally, you can trust him completely.”
Echo hollers over her shoulder to me. “Is that the one you’ve been thracking?”
I clench my hands into fists and shush her. “You will ride with him, on his zigon. He will keep you safe until we reach Gerafar. I will escort you into the city. Understood?”
Alaric nods warily. “Talea, it’s only been one day since I’ve seen you. You already seem so different.”
I take in another deep breath. “It’s been a long day.”
✽✽✽
Echo and Lesedi bicker in the background, their contentious words hang in the icy air grinding on everyone’s nerves. I knew this would happen. Lesedi fights to keep her tone under control while she rages at Echo’s audacity. Despite her best efforts to stay calm she yells words like irresponsible, selfish, and intrusion. Echo of course fires back with an assault of snarky remarks and insults. I roll my eyes while I check on Alaric and Ilana one last time before taking off.
Alaric chuckles and glances over to the arguing duo. “Well, looks like your suicide mission is ruined.”
I roll my eyes. “I know. Now we can’t even get ourselves killed in peace.”
Othin reaches down and strokes a strand of my wild hair. “Talea, we must leave.”
I nod. “Understood. We’ll follow.”
His anxiety feels thick in the air, we need to leave to avoid more restlessness. The pack has already gone ahead without us, as it is, we’re playing catch up. Which doesn’t look good. It’s a strange contradiction with nightstalkers. They don’t understand lies or deceit, they don’t care about feelings or what a person thinks, but at the same time their entire survival can depend on the perception of the clan.
I step towards my zigon, I’m supposed to lead one and I’ve only been riding for a day. When I asked Othin for advice all he said was “How do you move your legs?” Which doesn’t help or make sense. All strong nightstalkers can command zigons, but I don’t get how. What does strength have to do with anything? You don’t steer it by punching it. As far as I can tell all the others just sit on the fluffy backs and the animals move. They don’t even give a little kick in the side like when riding a fand. There aren’t even reigns to hold onto.
In the midst of my thoughts I pause, my senses flare up. Someone is near. Out of place. I see the large figure of the zigon under the waxing moonlight. The silhouettes of the two arguing girls move in frantic motions in their heated debate. There’s something else though, my skin prickles. To my left a dark figure creeps towards our zigon. I see the reflective glint of long claws. My instincts move me faster than I can process it. I don’t think, I act. I leap through the powdery snow and before the flick of an eye I stand behind the figure. A swift kick to the backs of its knees and I have my blade pressed against the throat of a creature at my mercy.
I speak in low hushed tones. Lesedi doesn’t need to know about this. “Name yourself.”
A face turns to look at me. It’s a thin angular face that comes to a distinct point at the chin. White hair is chopped short and sticks out straight in all directions. He, I think he, radiates madness. Though, aren’t they all pretty much insane?
The face twitches to the side. A slow smile creeps into his thin lips. The voice hisses. “Kr’thitch.” The voice sounds masculine for sure.
I push my blade into his throat with just enough pressure to release a small drop of blood. “Kr’thitch, what are you doing by my bloodling’s zigon?”
Kr’thitch’s shoulders jerks in sync with his neck. His wild hair wisps back and forth revealing a black spike lodged through his upper ear. “To kill the loud daypeople.”
I breathe in sharp through my nose. In a quiet firm voice, I try to sound commanding. “To your feet.”
Kr’thitch leaps to his toes and stands in a slight crouch. He’s a runner. I can see it in his overly thin form and wiry legs. He’s small, shorter than me by two finger widths. The smallest moonrunner I’ve ever seen, but I can guarantee he’s fast. He’ll prove useful if I don’t have to kill him.
I glare. “What did I say earlier about threats to my sister?”
“You kill moonrunners who hurt the halfmoon. But, will kill the daypeople.” His head jerks again with a slight kick in his leg. “Leave halfmoon alone.”
His target is Echo and I understand. I sheathe my knife. “Listen well, I will only say this once.” I reach over and grab his pointed chin with my left hand. “No daypeople will be harmed. This is my pack. You do as I say or I will end you without memory. Is that clear?”
He nods with an eyebrow twitch. I smile. “Good.” With a sudden throw I put all my body weight into a solid punch to his jaw. “Go!”
The skinny thing holds a hand to his face nursing the hurt and bolts off into the darkness. It’s clear to me now there won’t be a moment to rest on this trip. I’ll have to stay on constant guard, there’ll be no second chances if I slip up.
I scale our zigon and scoot into place. I try tapping it behind the ear like Othin had done. Nothing happens. I try motioning my body forwards to help give it a hint, nothing. I click, I coo, I tug on its hair, the beast just digs through the snow for grass underneath. I frown with frustration and look up to see Othin smiling at me. How do you move your legs? I don’t, they just move because they do. My eyes widen, I will them to move. They’re a part of me, I don’t have to tell them a command they just move because I want them to. That’s what they’re doing, they’re willing the zigons to move. That’s why the stronger ones can do it, they have the strongest will. I chuckle, at least nightstalker stubbornness is useful.
I close my eyes and try to picture the zigon as a part of me. I try to reach out to it and just move it, like I do my legs. The zigon resists. It jerks and shakes as if trying to shake off an annoyance. I suppose that’s better than ignoring me, but not by much. Othin nods and his zigon pulls away. As it does the one I’m sitting on becomes less complacent. The animal grunts and groans while it begins moving, but not the way I want it to.
The back end bucks up and throws Echo and Lesedi into each other’s arms. The muscles spasm and the whole body jerks into a wild frenzy. Zigons are wild, untamable, Othin must’ve been keeping this one mellow for me until I figured it out. The grunting and groaning gets louder as the zigon starts leaping into the air trying to throw us off. At this rate it’ll trample us to death.
I suppress the panic rising within me, I empty the screams of Lesedi from my head. I can do this. I seek out that strength in the well of darkness I know is inside of me. That power that I know I have, to be able to do anything if only I let it. I feel like I’m pushing my will against a wall that won’t yield, but I will make it. I will make it break down before me and crumble. I push harder imagining that wall before me cracking and breaking until it shatters before me.
The zigon lets out a yip of pain and stumbles into a controlled trot. I did it! I look ahead to see Othin glancing over his shoulder, he lets out a visible breath of relief. One small victory in a long chain of challenges ahead of me. I keep focused while I drive the beast into a faster gait to catch up with the others. After a while I realize I don’t have to actively steer just keep in mind the direction I want it to go. I mentally put the zigon in the back of my mind and pin it there.
I turn my attention to the quarrelers behind me. Lesedi brims with coldness. “You don’t think about anyone but yourself.”
Echo fumes. “Stop treating me like a stupid child!”
Lesedi throws her hands into the air. “You are a stupid child!”
In silence Echo pulls a knife from her belt. She moves so fast I almost blink and miss it. Her body perches on the zigon back with a blade drawn a fingerwidth from Lesed’s throat. She grins and glares with an intensity beyond recognition even for her.
Lesedi goes cold. “You can’t force your way into this pack. It’s dangerous.”
Echo pokes Lesedi in the chest with her free pointer finger. “Dangerous? I have more strength in my little finger than you do in your whole pathetic body!”
Lesedi’s eyes widen. Before she can retort I pull her towards me and yell at both of them. “Enough!” They both quiet but they are far from done. I smack Echo in the shoulder. “What is wrong with you? You’re making a fool of all of us! Lesedi is mad because she wanted you to be home to protect what’s left of the family.”
Echo pauses. Her expression seems unaffected. “They’ll be fine. Father is there.”
I take in another sharp icy breath through my nostrils. “I know that. But you left them. Just like we did, and Alaric did. Our whole family has left them all at once. Lesedi is pissed because she feels guilty.” I turn to Lesedi. “Did I get that right?” She nods.
Echo finally goes quiet and says nothing to her defense. It doesn’t matter anymore, what’s done is done and she wouldn’t make it home alive now. There’s no option but for her to come with us. I move my hand away from Echo and elbow Lesedi hard in the side. “And you, you’re not so innocent here. Stop acting like her mother. You’re not. If she wants to come out here and get herself killed that’s her problem nor ours.”
Echo huffs up her chest. “I’m not-”
I bite off her sentence. “Shut it.” She quiets. “It doesn’t matter. None of your petty problems do. What matters is you two shut your mouths. Suns! Do you even understand what you two make us look like?”
Lesedi puffs up. “But she’s only fourteen!”
I growl at her. “And we’re only twenty! She can still kill you in a scuff so leave her alone! We’re all in peril here. We’re all being stupid when we should be home with Wren and Trigan. So, knock it off!”
They both hush and cross their arms. Echo smirks. “Since when did you get so insightful?”
My face goes cold and I glance towards the rest of the pack as we gain on their lead. “Since I realized there are bigger problems than my own petty garbage. Now, stop arguing. We’re being watched. You don’t want to annoy a nightstalker.”
“I’m not totally heartless you know.” Echo leans back on the zigon’s back resting her head on her hands. “I left a note.” Lesedi groans and buries her face in her hands.
I should have just run, disappear into the night with Othin and never be heard from again. It would have destroyed Lesedi but she would be safe at home. Alaric would have been forced to stay through lune, Echo would have no way of leaving. The whole family would bunker together safe in our happy hole minus one member. One member that only ever caused trouble anyway.
But I know that I can’t do this without my sister. Lesedi is the one who will save us all. They all think it’s me, the pressure is on me, and that’s fine. It’ll free up Lesedi to just be herself, because she is what we need. Someone who thinks with violence off the table. Someone who sees like tendrils stretching into the future, someone who sees differently. I’m only the weapon.
My mind wanders all night, I don’t feel much up to talking. I can hear snippets from Lesedi as she tells Echo all about my relationship with Othin, our hybridized heritage, and the fight I won with Nor’shu. They finally are getting along, through sarcasm and passive aggression, I’ll take it over yelling. I stare at the horizon and let my eyes bounce among the moon and stars. I promise myself that I will never become jaded to such a beautiful sight for as long, or short, as I live.
The pack comes to a stop and dismounts in a hurry. We pull off our supplies and I leap into the snow while Echo follows suit. Lesedi, not to be made a fool of, works up her courage and jumps from the zigon. But the beast is enormous and her legs are short. She isn’t able to jump clear of the animal’s body for a clean dismount. Her feet catch on the beast’s side and spins her into a roll towards the ground headfirst. She screams and as I race to her as a figure appears like it’s emerging from the fog and catches her.
She yips when she finds herself in the arms of a nightstalker. A male with slicked back hair that transitions into a long neat braid at the nape of his neck. Unlike the majority of the male nightstalkers, Othin included, he wears a cover over his torso. It’s a dark green cloth vest with bone buttons. The craftmanship of it is surprisingly high quality, more than I expect of nighstalkers. His vest overlaps dark green cloth pants that billow along the legs and wrap tight around his ankles. Draping over everything else is a billowing white cloak with dark green lining.
Lesedi tenses and her cheeks flush, I can almost hear her heart racing. The nightstalker lowers her down into the snow never taking his eyes off hers, he doesn’t even blink. Without a word he nods at her and after taking only a few steps disappears. I rush to my sister and put an arm around her.
My palms squeeze her padded shoulders. “Are you ok?”
She nods in silence, still stunned. The moment doesn’t stay peaceful for long; Echo always has something to say. “I bet she’s fine. Les might’ve found her own grayskin to go thrack in the snow. He’s a looker.” Echo smirks and looks away pinching her chin in thought. “Do you think he’s, proportional?” She winks.
I gasp audibly and my voice comes out equal parts shocked and scolding. “You’re supposed to be fourteen years old!”
With obvious mocking Echo gasps and mimics my tone. “And you’re supposed to be a skysinger!” She walks away and pats me on the back. “Get used to surprises red eye.”
Lesedi rolls her eyes and grabs at the bag holding our tent. I’m not happy about sleeping in a tent while all the nightstalkers don’t. It makes us look weak. But at this point, everything kind of does. We have to strike a balance somewhere, we aren’t nightstalkers. We’re halfmoons. We’re going to have to find our strength in different ways and show them.
I lock eyes with Lesedi. “You and Echo stay here and set up the tent. Once it’s ready I want you both to get inside and stay there.”
She frowns and fights a tremor in her voice. “Where are you going?”
I gesture towards the black shape of Gerafar’s walls on the plateau in the distance. “I’m escorting Alaric and Ilana the rest of the way.”
Lesedi shakes her head and almost whimpers. “No. You can’t leave us here.” Her eyes drift around to the grumbling nightstalkers making up their beds in the exposed air.
I lower my voice. “No protests. Make that tent, get in, and wait.”
She prepares to say something else, but Echo grabs her shoulder. “You heard her. Let’s get that tent up. I’m beat. Loverboy will watch out for us I bet.”
Lesedi sighs. “Please tell me you’re talking about Othin.”
A wicked smirk pulls across Echo’s face. “Yeah. Why? Did something happen in the last three minutes? My, you jump into a pair of trousers faster than Talea does.”
I stifle a laugh and my sister looks at me with pleading eyes. “Hurry back.”
I chuckle and nod. “As fast as I can I promise.” The two walk away to set up the tent while Echo annoys her the entire time. It’s better for Lesedi this way, she’s distracted with Echo’s comments and can’t focus as much on how worried she is.
Othin approaches me with a satisfied smile. “You made it run. I was not sure if you could.”
I shake my head and hit him in the shoulder. He flinches, but smiles. We’ve been working on this, the first time I smacked him for a snarky comment he slammed me into the ground, instincts. Of course, the first night we were together he considered killing me. So, we’re making progress. The smart thing to do would be not to antagonize the practiced killer. But physical violence is how I express half of my feelings towards him so that would really be cutting us off at the knees.
I know he’s in a constant battle with himself to hold back, to not hurt me. Though it seems like it’s getting easier with practice. Or maybe I’m getting tougher. I have no illusions about Othin, I know underneath that tough exterior is a terrifying interior that wants to shred apart his enemies. I know there’s rage and madness hidden beneath, like it is with all of them. But he has a handle on it better than most of the others. Or maybe that’s just what I want to think.
Alaric and Ilana get their bags together and strap on their snowshoes. The clouds are creeping in on us in thin spattered layers that are thickening. It will snow today so we need to hurry. The snow isn’t too deep for the massive zigon, they can move in anything, but it’s a problem for us. I strap snowshoes to my feet, weakness, nightstalkers don’t need snowshoes.
More and more I think like a nightstalker, a moonrunner. I see weakness I see strength; my perception is shifting and I have mixed feelings about it. At least I have Lesedi to keep me from going too far if it comes to that. I smile as the last star fades away in the rising sunlight. Lesedi is like my guiding light, she keeps me going in the right direction. Even though I don’t listen to a good half of what she says.
I kiss Othin goodbye and off we begin our trudge through the snow. The snowshoes do help at least. I see the rippling sheet of gray clouds form over the sky. The suns might as well have not bothered coming up. The light is eerie and dim over the snow. Perfect cheating weather.
✽✽✽
The high walls of the plateau loom in the dreary gray sky. The road cuts a ramp into the rock wall before coming to an abrupt stop at a tall black gate long before the top. Wow is it tall. I’ve never been to Gerafar, at least not since I can remember.
Alaric holds a protective arm around Ilana’s shoulders. She’s been quiet the whole way, poor thing has been shaken to her bones and she’s trying so hard to hide it. I can feel the terror shrieking inside of her, but applaud her ability to keep it suppressed. She’ll need a lot of courage going into this place, Gerafar. A place renowned for its unsettling mortality rate. I can’t understand, neither can anyone else, why the council doesn’t protect this city better. It’s where our hardstone comes from, our numinium, it’s a mining colony. But all they protect are resource shipments and not the people toiling for them.
Alaric’s plan might be as bad as mine. He reassures me that Ilana is a trained herbalist and she thinks she can help people here. He’s strong and has done the research about mining, though I’m not sure how much there is to read about hitting rocks with hammers. They’ve got a plan, a solid one, but plans have a way of slipping through your fingers like water.
We stop at the gate, it’s as far as I’ll go with them. The road being carved into the rock has a ceiling and is devoid of snow which makes it easier to walk. The gate looks like a smear of black hardstone set within the orange colored stone. Lines of black squiggle through the orange color, small deposits of hardstone maybe, with more lines of silver and red. It’s quite pretty.
Alaric stops. “The first checkpoint is up ahead; you should go back.”
I nod and take a look around me. “Alright, I just wanted to make sure you were safe.”
He flashes a smile with eyes full of worry. Icy wind blows his hair along his forehead. “I know. We’ll be fine. Make sure you keep Lesedi safe now.”
I smirk. “What about me and Echo?”
He raises one eyebrow. “Echo needing protection? Come on be serious.”
I cross my arms. “And me?”
He sighs and pulls me into a hug. “Talea, you survive. You always do.” He pushes back but grips my upper arms. “The whole world could burn away and you’d be standing in its ashes.”
I’m not sure how to feel about that but I force a smile. “I need you to promise me something.”
His shakes his head. “Nope, Echo is your problem now. I’m not taking that bag of snark.” His voice drops to a mutter. “I might as well take care of an aalamon.”
I punch him in the shoulder. “Not what I had I mind.” He rubs his arm with frowning brows. I firm my voice. “I don’t know what’s going to happen. I don’t even know if I’ll be alive in a month. But I need you to promise me as soon as you can you’ll go to Evos.”
He snorts a laugh and steam rises from his cold nostrils. “Of course, silly. That’s the plan. Move to Evos. Weren’t you paying attention?”
I shake my head. “No, I mean as soon as you can manage it. Even if you only get enough money to just get through the gates and sleep on a bench. Leave this place as soon as you can.”
Alaric frowns. “Talea-”
“No!” I bark at him and force myself to lower my voice. “This place is not safe. I can’t explain it but I feel it in my bones, you need to get to Evos. Promise me.”
He sighs. “Fine. As soon as the weather changes we’ll leave for Evos. I’m sure they won’t turn away a pregnant woman and master carpenter.”
Ilana comes in for a short hug. I look into those startling blue eyes, eyes that are so afraid. I speak with my most apologetic voice. “I’m so sorry to put you through so much. But it’ll get better.”
She bites her lip and takes in a shaky breath. “How do you know?”
Steam puffs from my lips and I shrug. “Because it has to.”
We break from each other in opposite directions. It will get better, it has to. What troubles me is how much worse things may get first.
✽✽✽
The sun is still up, at least that’s my best guess. The clouds are getting darker, angrier. We might have a blizzard ahead of us. Can zigon travel in a blizzard? It was such a stupid idea to start this journey now, in the middle of lune. We should have all waited until the melting at least. Wikon was specific and vague all at the same time. It was urgent we leave as soon as possible, we’re on a ticking clock, we don’t have seconds to wait. But why? I hate secrets, so many secrets. How does anyone expect me to do my job if they don’t tell me what’s going on?
Frustration boils within me. What even is my job? I don’t really know. I’m supposed to orchestrate some binding cooperation between our people, how is that even possible? It isn’t, not for me. Lesedi can do it though, so that’s my job. Keep Lesedi safe and get her there. I can do that; I can comprehend that.
I pause, life, I can sense someone nearby. I close my eyes and reach out with my senses like Othin trained me. Two. Two people are closing in on me. I don’t need Lesedi’s brain to put this puzzle together. I look around but the fog has rolled in and created a thick wall of white and gray. They could be anywhere. Reaching my arm out I begin to lose my fingertips in the shroud. One well-placed blade and they can kill me here without me ever laying eyes on them.
If I’m dead, I can’t protect Lesedi. I die, she dies. I square up my shoulders and let out a voice cold with quiet rage. “Hello Viko, Da’ku.”
I turn to lock eyes with them. Two face emerge from the fog with eyes glowing red. Steam billows from Da’ku’s nostrils as she pierces me with a stoic gaze. Viko chuckles under her breath with smirking lips that show me she aches to slice me to pieces. The two glance at each other and share an expression before stepping closer.
“You saw how?” Viko tilts her head with curiosity. “Daypeople are blind.”
I smile and push my rage out towards them. “A moonrunner is always on guard.” I press a deep malevolent chuckle into my voice. “Ready to kill.”
Viko becomes overwhelmed with anger and her smile falls away. “You are no moonrunner.”
It’s the clearest sentence I’ve heard her say, and I can tell it was difficult for her. It’s also the heaviest with hatred. I drop my right hand down to my belt ready to grab my hammer if I need to. A taunting smile broadens in my face and
I take a step closer. “You’re right. I’m better.”
A venomous hiss erupts from the fuming nightstaker. “Want the we kill you now! Weak daypeople.”
I grin and a chuckle rolls off my words. “You can try, you will fail.”
Viko prepares herself for a fight and before she can finish letting out a breath, I bolt forwards and head butt the creature. She stumbles back in surprise with her brow bleeding. Da’ku turns to her sister distracted for a moment, that’s her mistake. I form my right hand into a fist with the thumb pointed out and punch her in the throat. It won’t cause lasting damage and I’m sure she’s skilled enough to defend against it. But as the two catch their breaths I pull both blades from my belt; I’ve learned to carry two.
With a sharp edge held against the supple throat of each sister I grit my teeth and growl at them. “I am the leader of this pack! You are my tools and will obey me.” I press the knives harder, but not so much as to draw blood. “Don’t underestimate me, next time I won’t be so merciful.”
I pull my blades back and sheathe them. Turning my back to them, I walk away. It’s a show of confidence in my strength, a bold move, but I have to trust I scared them enough. Or in the very least showed them I’m enough of a threat they need a better plan.
Without looking back, I bellow into the fog. “To your mounts!”
I hear the scuffle of snow as the duo skits away. The wind kicks up whipping powder into the air. I pull wet strings of purple hair from my face, the figure of Othin appears from the fog. He smiles at me with pride.
I cross my arms. “What?”
He speaks with a soft smile. “I am pleased, I chose the most intimidating creature in the world for my mate.”
I snort and march past towards our zigon. “Who says you chose me? I chose you.” My voice is harsh, gruff, and annoyed. “Stupid gray skins.” I mutter to myself.
Othin grabs my wrist and spins me into his arms holding me tight. He’s so warm. It’s deathly cold out here, all he wears is a cloth vest and pants under that cloak, but his skin is hot to the touch. Maybe that’s why they’re all so skinny, their bodies burn up all their food to make them too warm. Lesedi would have a theory.
His lips push against my ear. “You are strong Talea. They can see that. You did well.”
I grumble with frustration. “I shouldn’t have to-”
“It is the way.” He interrupts.
I break out of his arms and keep walking with rage in every step. I switch back and forth between raging with my arms flying into the air, and muttering to myself. “I’m trying to help them! Ok, I want to help myself. But it’ll also help them! All they want to do is kill me!”
Othin walks alongside me. “I know. Keep showing them your strength. Show them the moonrunner you are.”
Frustration boils to my surface and something in me snaps. “I’m not a moonrunner!” I shove him in the chest with both hands.
His body doesn’t so much as flinch, it’s like shoving a hardstone wall. “True, you are not a moonrunner. But you are not weak.”
I cross my arms in defiance. “Isn’t that why they call me a halfmoon? Because I’m half moonrunner, half as strong. It’s an insult Othin.”
He shakes his head and rests his palms along my arms. “It does not have to be. Halfmoons are not less, they are different. A new creature.”
I huff and look away from him surveying the pack ready to go up ahead. Anxiety knots my stomach at returning to them, I’m always being watched and judged. I’m exhausted and It’s only been two days.
I turn my eyes back to him and rub my temples. “Right, a new creature. I’m not moonrunner, I’m not daypeople, but I’m not half of each either? Then what am I Othin?”
He smiles and leans forwards planting a delicate kiss on the forehead. “You are Talea. That is all you need to be.”
I snort through my nose with the irritated concession that he’s won this round. I’m amazed that he has complete faith in me like this, I certainly don’t. To him we’ve won already and it’s just a matter of getting there. How can he be so confident about this? I have no idea what I’m doing, I’ve told him as much. Be Talea he says, that’s all we need. Well, being Talea hasn’t gotten me far in the past. All it’s managed to do is land me in a lot of trouble, among skysingers. Maybe that’s the problem.
Lesedi’s efficient direction gets the camp ready to go and on their zigons before I reach them. I enter what feels like a valley of enormous nightstalkers mounted upon enormous zigons. Red eyes feel like they glow with judgement as they look down at me while I traverse through the snow. I feel like I’m being swallowed alive and am struggling to escape. How will I survive this for the next couple months? Be Talea.
Down the gauntlet of piercing eyes walks a female nighstalker, the only one not riding. She’s the same height as Othin but more muscled. Whereas Othin has a wiry look to him this female has rounder muscles more akin to skysingers. An uncountable number of braids swoop along her hairline, down around her ears and towards the nape of her neck. They form lines that move towards the middle of her scalp and then clamber on top of each other like a fin before draping down her back. She’s breathtaking, not even by nightstalker standards but in general. Her cheekbones are high but not gaunt, her body is proportioned instead of emaciated, her skin is even more pearlescent than dull gray. She looks like a marble statue come to life. With big red eyes.
The beauty is so unexpected it takes me by surprise and I struggle to find my words. She even speaks with a smooth voice, no hint of rasp. “The pack is ready to leave. We have heard of the attack; it will not happen again.”
I scrunch my eyebrows with my mouth agape. “I, uh, who are you?”
Her face lights up with a faint smile and even the red of her eyes feels less piercing. “I am Meekala. I am child to Wikon and Shado.”
I try to regain my footing and not look like an idiot. “I, uh, I didn’t know they had a daughter.”
Her smile drops from her face like a falling stone. “Five actually. Once.” Her eyes glance to the left remembering something before she brings herself back. “My father assigned me to your service. I will do my best to help the cause.”
I shake the stunned stupid expression from my face. “I, yes. Sorry, you seem so-”
She raises one eyebrow. “Different? I know.” She looks around at the rest of the pack who avert their eyes. “There is much to be said. Another time.”
She reminds me a bit of Othin. Well spoken, intelligent, even moderate in temperament, but more so than him. I look up at the remaining pack in comparison, they might as well be savage predators. I catch Da’ku’s eye, I’ll need to find out more about them on an individual basis. Wikon sent his best, so it would make sense he would send the ones with more control and strategic minds. But why would any of them have these qualities to start with? Nightstalkers are supposed to be stark raving mad. Maybe Othin is less special than I thought, still special to me though.
Meekala leans in to whisper and breaks my thoughts. “We need to leave before they get anxious. Say words to them, strong words.”
I nod and she jots off to her zigon that she shares with a male nightstalker, an old one. He’s got a strong straight back and plenty of good years left in him, but there are lines in his face and his skin sags beneath his cloak. Othin mentioned his friend Jar’kog, the village’s oldest member. Is that him? He told me stories about the old warrior who defended in the arena over fifty times. From what Othin says he’s an old hermit, but he seems to have an affection for Meekala. Affection is probably the wrong word, allegiance maybe. There must be quite the story there.
I reach our mount and climb up. Lesedi, ever pragmatic, leashed one zigon to Guzu. The beasts aren’t going crazy so that’s a good sign. Her and Echo are propped on top of the leashed one waiting for us. I see somebody doesn’t want to learn how to drive. I climb up onto Guzu’s back and look over at her gesturing to the leash.
Lesedi stifles a blush. “I, I wanted to make sure we stay together. And I know the zigon’s keep the best pace when they don’t exceed two riders.”
I smile and shake my head. “They’re not that hard to command. You could do it.”
She gasps. “Father Sky no! I can’t make these things do what I say! I’ll get us killed!”
I rub my temple with a good-humored smile. “I could drive that one for you. While one of you sits with Othin.”
Echo winks. “I don’t mind riding with lover boy. Do you think he-”
Lesedi elbows her in the side. “Settle down you’ll get us killed.”
I let it go. “Fine, if it makes you feel better, we can try this out tonight. But any issues and we’ll need a new plan.”
Othin hops up onto Guzu’s back, Echo winks at him, he looks at me with complete confusion. I wave it away, it’s going to be a long trip. Remembering Meekala’s words I stand up on the zigon’s back. It’s more challenging than I thought, but I’m determined to keep my balance. I’m determined to look strong, to be a leader, and somehow to still be me.
An ocean of red eyes turns their attention to me. Eyes belonging to creatures so volatile that the wrong word could spark them. The wrong word could kill us all. A chilling breeze blows through my body to freeze my bones, but I only feel the heat of rage. Here I stand among a pool of grayskins. Monsters. Nightstalkers. My people.
I try to think of eloquent inspiring words I can shout to the stars. But nothing comes to me except feelings. With my stomach doing backflips I take a deep breath and let my lips go. Be Talea.
“This journey will kill us. We all know that.” I look around to see nodding heads and then lock eyes with Da’ku. “But if we keep fighting each other, we’ll die a lot sooner. We have to be better. Which means from now on we are together for everything. United. Then, maybe we’ll live long enough to destroy those Razorbone soft-spines before they burn our clan to the ground!” Hoots and hollers pucker from the pack and I can feel their excitement growing, mine does too. “From now on we live together, and we die together! Our enemies will bleed beneath our feet and our clan will remember us for all time!”
The pack screams with haunting approval. The howls bawl into the clear skies and in that moment, I turn myself towards the stars and scream with them. My lungs empty and I turn to lock eyes with Lesedi, she returns my gaze with a face cold like snow. I sit back down as the zigons take off into the snow. My sister is silent, her fingers scribble words into one of her journals with the supportive flame of her lantern flickering beside her.
Echo smiles, an actual genuine smile, towards me. “Great speech.”
Lesedi mutters without moving her eyes from her book. “Of course you think so.”
Her smile drops into a frown. “Maybe if you pulled that icicle from your-”
I shoot her a glare. “Echo!”
She grumbles and changes her words. “You have to admit it was perfect. It showed Talea for what she really is.”
With a steamy breath releasing into the wind Lesedi looks up. “What is that?”
Echo’s smirk comes back laced with pride and mischief. “Dangerous.”
My sister nods. “That we can agree on.”