Insanity grips my mind as the years of carnage pile on my soul. What will our world be like in fifty years? One hundred? One thousand? Will we even be alive? Will we still be who we once were? Or will our entire race fall victim to madness? Death. Destruciton. Rage. Killing. Killing. So much killing. Blood. Silence!
Another settlement is being founded, they hold their ground against the gblins, for now. Will an empire rise from the blood soaked ground? Can they push back the waves of gray? Our people must survive, there is no alternative. We cannot allow them to win, they who brought this plague upon us. I will not give them the satisfaction.
Father, are you watching?
-Doc Vorran, 17 years post poisoning, 17 years. The air is warm.
OTHIN:
Talea lies unconscious on the cushions, white cloth soaks through with red. I refuse to leave her side clutching her hand in mine. I should have told her. I should have trained her better. I saw it that first night we mated, when we sealed the bond. In the heat of passion her eyes turned red and I knew. I saw glimpses of it in training, a flash here and there, I saw it that day in the woods when she hit me and I laughed. A flicker of red overcome with purple. I knew.
I knew and I said nothing. I wanted to. I hang my head drowning in shame, I did not want to. I did not know how she would react to something like this. What if she panicked and ran and I never saw her again? I have never in my life needed someone, not like this, and I cannot bear to think of losing her. I cannot go back to the aloneness, the emptiness, the nothingness inside my spirit. But, because of my own cowardice I almost lost her anyway.
Leader Wikon returns to the cushions and sits down, he glances towards Talea with an approving smile. “She is a strong one Othin.”
I look at her and clench her fist tighter. “I know.”
He tightens his lips thinking. “It is not only because she is a halfmoon. There is something else to her. A determination. She moves with the will of a thousand thunderstorms. That will, that is her strength.”
I stifle a chuckle, she always called it stubbornness. “It is easier to forbid the moon to rise than command her.”
“That is good.” Leader Wikon’s disposition darkens. “She will need that ferocity in what is ahead.”
I nod with further agreement, guilt tears at me with the thought of what I will put her through. A quiet groan leaves her beautiful, scowling, thin lips.
“What’s ahead?” She groans in slow slurred words.
Leader Wikon attempts to push her back down. “Rest child.”
Talea pulls her limp arm up and smacks it at him, though her aim is off. “I’m not your child.”
Her eyes open to form narrow glares. She forces herself to lift her head pulling herself up. At first, she fails and falls back down, refusing any help from either of us we watch as she pulls herself into a slumping posture.
Her now purple eyes flash back and forth between us. She settles her venomous stare on me. “Was that a dream?”
My eyes widen and though I am much larger than her, I feel small. “Was what?”
Her eyes dart to Leader Wikon. “Answer. Now.”
I suck in a breath; she is commanding the leader of the Blood Bane. Audacity mixed with confidence, Leader Wikon looks both annoyed and impressed. “It was no dream. You are a halfmoon, one of your parents was a moonrunner, one a daypeople.”
She pulls her fingers up to her eyes and touches her cheek bones. “My eyes.”
I gulp. “They were red. They turned during the fight.”
Her hand drops as she shakes her head and sits up a bit more. “Othin, you knew. Since when?”
I draw in a painful, sharp breath. “Since the beginning.”
Her head rolls to face Leader Wikon. “Can you hit him with a pillow or something for me?”
Before I can laugh at the joke pain spikes through my jaw as a thick fist punches me in the face. I hear Talea laugh with a giggling shriek. “I said a pillow!”
Leader Wikon smiles as I rub my cheek. “He would not have felt a pillow.”
I rub my face. “I certainly felt that.”
Talea nods with a glare fixed into her face. “You deserved it.” She takes in a deep breath and winces from pain. “We’ll sort it out later, maybe I’ll give you a punch in the face myself. For now, we came here because you said this Wikon fellow wanted to talk to me. Is this him?”
I wince. “Yes, this is Leader Wikon, ruler of the Blood Bane clan.” I try to hint to the reverence she should be showing.
She shakes her head. “I’m too dizzy for all that. Let’s just get it over with. What do you want?”
He smiles, he finds her endearing like one of his lost daughters. “Put simple, we need your help.” She laughs in his face. “You need our help too.”
She crosses her arms and raises an eyebrow. “I’m listening.”
Leader Wikon turns and snaps his fingers as a map is shuffled into his hands. He rolls it out on Talea’s lap. “This is Blood Bane territory. Here are the outlands Othin tells me you are from.”
“I get it, it’s a map of our world. I’ve seen something like this before. My sister has a geography book.”
Leader Wikon continues and points to the north eastern part of the map. “This is Razorbone territory. They are our enemies; they are not like other moonrunners. They are without spirit.”
Talea glances to me with questioning eyes. I grin that she’s willing to talk to me, in any way. It gives me hope. “The Moon Mother gives spirit to us, because of it we think. We speak, some. The Razorbone do not. They are spiritless animals.”
Nodding he continues. “We have fought off their waves for lifetimes. But they stopped raiding entirely two years ago.”
She frowns. “That’s a good thing.”
He cringes. “Othin has told you about my banes?” She nods. “I have sent banes into the Razorbone lands to seek out information.”
“Spies.” She shrugs and nods, she is impressed. Even still, her opinion of us is low.
He nods. “Yes, the information they brought back is troubling. The Razorbone are organizing, plotting, planning. It is feared they will not only destroy the Blood Bane, but everyone under the moon or sun.”
Talea tilts her head thinking. “But you said they’re spiritless. How can they do that?”
He points his finger to a north western forest. “Here lives the Srexi. I believe the leader of the Razorbone is a Srexi betrayer.”
He takes a breath but before words can leave his mouth Talea interrupts him. “How do you know it’s not a Blood Bane betrayer?”
He snorts with frustration. “All of our own are accounted for.”
She tilts her head and frowns. “You keep track of your people?”
He purses his lips. “Yes. I will not explain myself further.” A pause falls between them and upon Talea’s silence he continues. “I do not know how the betrayer has gotten the horde of Razorbone to follow him, but they have. There is a plan, Talea. They will use that horde like a weapon and kill every single one of us.”
She gulps and breathes in a steadying breath. “What are you proposing?”
Leader Wikon runs a hand through his hair and gestures towards her. “You help us. You are the only halfmoon we know of. You are of both worlds. Go to the Srexi and get them to join an alliance against our enemy. Then get your daypeople army to join as well. With our combined forces, we can fight off the Razorbone.”
Her jaw drops and her eyes open wide. “Are you kidding me? That’s the most impossible task you could ask of anyone.”
He shrugs. “It might be, but it is also necessary. It is the only plan we have. Moonrunner armies are not enough for this threat, we need the daypeople.”
Her eyes narrow further and she shakes her head. “No. Not happening.”
I cough with surprise, I thought for sure she would agree to this. She is adventurous, bold, brave, she longs for a challenge, this is ideal for her. “But Talea they will-“
She snaps her fingers at me and I silence at once. “They will kill you all. I get it. They might kill us all too. I get that also. But I can’t do what you’re asking me. I’m not diplomatic, I can’t convince anyone to do anything. Thanks for the info, but no thanks. Othin and I can go hide in a cave somewhere and wait for it to blow over.”
I can see fear in her eyes, I can see outright terror. Leader Wikon sees it too. “Child, we ask that-”
She cuts him off and I cringe again. “You’re asking me to die, for us to die. That’s what you’re asking. I just got-” She pauses and spares a glance at me. “I’m not giving up what I have. Not for some intangible threat you think is happening. I’m sorry.”
Talea struggles trying to pull herself to her feet. She gets to her knees and then falls back into the cushions, her face flushes with rage unable to pull off a dramatic exit. She looks away from both of us with eyes fixated on the door determined to leave. I reach out my hand to help, she hits it scowling at me and wills herself to her feet, with knees shaking.
Leader Wikon speaks into the air with confident words. “I can make a place for you two.”
She stops and turns her head to look him in the eye. “What do you mean?”
“You have nowhere to go and be together. Nowhere where you both can be free. No place where your lives will not be a constant struggle to survive. That is no life.” Leader Wikon speaks the words with a strong air of authority, his words are not wrong.
Talea shrugs. “I know that. We’ll make it anyway.”
Leader Wikon raises his brows and nods. “I do not doubt that. But there is a difference between making it, and living. I have connections and I know of a place where you two can live. Together. Openly bonded and among a village that will welcome you.”
She raises one eyebrow heavy with suspicion. “Really? If that’s so, why don’t I just go find it myself?”
Leader Wikon grins. “If you could find them, they would kill you on the spot. But I am an old ally of their leader. A word from me, and you will be welcomed. I would be inclined to give that word if-”
She rolls her eyes and sighs. “If I agree to your stupid suicidal plan.” Leader Wikon nods.
Talea falls back onto the cushions and groans. She slumps throwing her head back as if she is already defeated. She picks up a pillow and yells into it for a short time, then throws it aside and looks to me. “He isn’t lying right?”
I shake my head. “He does not lie. You know it, you can tell.”
She closes her eyes and nods, her face tight with frustration. “It’s our only option isn’t it?”
I nod and reach out to touch her, I need to touch her. “Yes.” She pulls her hand away.
We sit in silence for a short while until she comes back to us, it is a lot to process. It is an enormous decision to make. She sighs. “Fine. You win.” She growls through gritted teeth and lets out another deep breath trying to calm herself. “You know the council isn’t just going to give the Sky Legion up to you, not without you yielding a little.”
I reach for her hand again. “What do you mean?” Without paying me a glance she pinches her nails together into the shape of a beak and stabs the top of my hand with the points of her nails. I pull it back with a smile, she is coming around.
Puffing out an exasperated breath she crosses her arms and stares into Leader Wikon. “You have to promise me all nightstalker attacks will stop. Immediately. No more raiding, blocking the roads, tormenting the farms. Day or night, I don’t want a single skysinger attacked, that includes livestock.”
Leader Wikon sits back dumbfounded. “That is an impossible ask of the clan!”
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She crosses her arms and grins. “So is what you want me to do. I can’t expect my people to trust you if you’re still killing us. It won’t work. No more deaths, not a single one.”
He strokes his chin with uneasy contemplation. “By asking me this, you commit me to many moonrunner deaths. They will fight me on this, I will have to kill them.”
She turns her hands palm up and shrugs. “That’s a shame.” She does not look sincere.
My leader’s eyes brighten as he leans in close to Talea. His voice is low and malevolent, my fierce Talea stares him down. “I will do this. But know, if you fail to bring us an alliance a rain of death will fall upon your outlands like never before.”
She gulps but refuses to break eye contact. At first, she hesitates, but then stretches out her hand with unbreakable determination. “I understand.”
They grip each other’s right wrists and clasp left hands. “Then we have a deal. I will make the announcement tomorrow night. You will leave the night after.”
She gasps. “So soon? I’m not ready.”
Leader Wikon shrugs. “That is a shame.” A smile flashes across his face. “But they will know you are the reason for change. It is best you leave, or the village will kill you.”
Talea nods. “Good point.”
I interrupt the conversation, this is madness. “No, she cannot undertake a journey so soon. Look at her, she needs to rest and heal.”
Leader Wikon waves away my concerns. “Bah! She can heal on the back of a zigon. Every night we waste our enemies grow stronger.”
Talea nods and pushes herself, through winces and flinching, to her feet again. This time she moves faster. “He’s right Othin. We don’t have time to waste. Apparently, the whole wide world is waiting for us to save them.”
✽✽✽
TALEA:
A gasp shrieks from behind a curtain, the fabric swishes aside revealing a pregnant nightstalker. From her size I would guess she’s due any minute. She seems weak somehow, not because of her condition, but her frame is small and countenance sunken and frail. From what Othin’s told me nightstalker women are fierce and strong regardless of whether they carry children. Many still go out hunting binding their bellies with leather to give them more maneuverability.
This fragile creature has her hair pulled back into two short braids that stop above her shoulders. She wears nothing but a thin dress that leaves nothing to the imagination. “Wikon! No!”
Wikon turns to her and approaches with caution, resting his hands on her shoulders. “Ki’vala do not worry. This conversation is not for your ears.”
Ki’vala shakes her head, she’s so confusing to look at. You don’t expect nightstalkers to look so pitiful, her red eyes begin tearing up. “They kill you.”
This man that until now has been intimidating and powerful, embraces her with a gentle hug and hushes her with soft whispers. “I would like to see them try.”
Ki’vala’s tears look like muddy water on her round stone-gray cheeks. “Halfmoon lies. No trust. She get you dead. Get me dead.”
Her, husband I think, strokes her hair and lays a soft kiss on her forehead. “Sweet Ki’vala, do not worry. It will be fine. Now, go eat with Shado. Our little ones must be hungry.” He kisses her temple and pats her round belly.
Her expression of fear doesn’t go away, but she sighs with resignation and waddles away to another part of the tent. Wikon lets out a heavy breath, but it doesn’t take away his feelings of worry. He rubs his forefinger and thumb at his temples speaking down without raising his eyes.
“Ki’vala is a weakling.” I choose not to interrupt him this time, he doesn’t seem to like that. “If not for my protection she would be dead now. She is slow of body and mind. I claimed her as second mate to give her protection from the clan. But I fear in a few days she will die anyway when our little ones come.”
My face softens, I’m still worked up and enraged from everything that’s happened, all of the pressure that’s fallen on my shoulders. But in this moment, he’s a man, gray or brown doesn’t matter. He’s afraid of the fate of his family, he’s scared for their well-being, he’s scared he’ll lose his wife. Or, one of them, I guess. Wikon feels different than other nightstalkers, just as Othin feels different. Shouldn’t all of them be the same kind of monster?
Wikon gestures to Othin, I’m still mad at him. I don’t know what I’m going to do there. “Get your father Othin, fast as you can.”
Othin pauses filling with fear and worry. A smile comes to Wikon’s face and he waves a hand to me. “Do not worry boy! She is safe here. I keep eyes on her, not to mention I am sure she can take care of herself.”
A cringe comes to Othin’s face as he struggles to follow orders. He spares me another glance and then rushes off through the tent flap.
He’s in such a hurry he almost crashes into another female entering the tent, she doesn’t even let it throw off her gait. She walks like she’s made of water, arguably the most graceful and beautiful creature I have ever seen. Her skin looks more like gray marble than stone, her features are a delicate balance between angular and soft. She doesn’t look gaunt and sunken, but she still looks sharp and predatory. She’s taller than Othin and rises to a similar height as Wikon.
I almost gasp, how can a person so beautiful be a nightstalker? She looks like nothing I’ve ever seen before. Of course, to skysingers she’s still considered homely and terrifying. But I don’t think I see with skysinger eyes anymore, this woman is nothing short of statuesque and powerful. She hasn’t even spoke yet, but I want to be her.
Skinny braids swish among her brilliant white locks with beads intertwined. She wears a flowing drape of purple fabric that wraps her body in further elegance. The dress is not for modesty or warmth, nightstalkers have need of neither, which is apparent by how thin it is. She strides with her chin held high, not arrogant, confident.
She looks me up and down and speaks with a smooth sultry voice uncharacteristic of the typical nightstalker. “This is the one Othin spoke of?”
Wikon forms a broad smile revealing his mouth full of sharp teeth. His teeth are a bit straighter than Othin’s scary mouth. He approaches the female with glassy eyes, as if moving towards her is involuntary, and holds her tight. “Shado.”
She returns his smile and they both kiss each other with a violent passion. Their hands tear at each other’s limbs and pulled at each other’s' hair while their lips lock in a battle of lust. I let out an awkward cough in case they’ve forgotten they aren’t alone. They didn’t. With loving eyes never breaking away they step back from each other. It’s bizarre to see. Nightstalkers treating each other with love and passion, a binding of souls more so than bodies. Why are they so different? This isn’t nightstalker normal, I know this. I’ve seen nighstalkers, most of them are out of control monsters. Aren’t they?
Wikon keeps his arm around Shado’s waist and turns toward me. His worries, problems, fears all gone from his face in being around her. His voice even has a bit of laughter in it. “Talea, this is Shado. My-“
I take in a sharp breath. “Your harbinger.”
Wikon pauses. His eyes darken with fear and he nods. “Yes. Am I obvious?” Shado hits him in the chest like a playful girl. Wikon laughs. “Othin has told you about the situation among the Blood Bane?”
I nod with hazy confusion. “Yes, but I don’t understand. If you have a bond mate, harbinger, why do you make the tribe kill each other over it?”
He shakes his head “I do not. It is something out of my control. I can only reign in the clan so far. When it comes to a harbinger match all I can do is make sure at least one of them survives by taking it to the arena. If I did not do that, they would tear each other to pieces with those around them.”
The barbarism of these people, my people, is heinous. But none of these savaging effects show in Wikon, Othin, or Shado. How can they be exempt from the bestial psychosis? How can I?
A knot forms in my stomach on top of the fluttering terror. I’m half nightstalker, half monster, half red eye. It explains so much, but also brings up many more questions. One in particular bounces around my mind. Will I become a monster?
✽✽✽
LESEDI:
I can see the waxing light as the suns begin to rise through the slit in the door. The sky is gray blue and lightening, though you’d never know it with the opaque carpet of cloud cover. The family is still sleeping, in the middle of lune there’s no reason to rise early. I declared last night that I would prepare breakfast and that everyone should sleep in as late as they like.
Something was off about Talea last night, something was wrong. I’ve grown accustomed, but still not approving, to her sneaking out at night. I realize there’s nothing I can do to stop her, but perhaps with my help I can steer her away from getting herself killed.
A brief smile sets into my face, she’s been so happy these past two months. Often times she’s been down right giddy, blissful even. I’ve never seen Talea this full of joy. I was even starting to wonder if she was capable of it. She’s being reckless, impulsive, and idiotic. But she’s happy.
I want to scream at her half the time, shake her out of this. Father Sky knows I’ve tried. I lose sleep at night, I rack myself with worry, some days I can’t eat. My mind fills with probabilities and in all but a few she dies. I can see the roads ahead of her and no matter which one she chooses she has nothing but pain in store. But she won’t listen. Because she’s happy.
I see a large figure charging through the snow towards our home. It moves at an incredible speed for how large it is. Even from a distance I can see the beast is much larger than anything I’ve seen. I swallow hard with worry, something is wrong. I know it. Every other morning Talea skips home like a love-struck girl prancing through a meadow. She kisses him with a show so passionate one would think they were never going to see each other again. Then she sways her way into the house humming. But not today.
The large figure grows as it comes closer until coming to an abrupt halt cresting a wave of snow towards the door. Othin and Talea are riding a zigon, the wild untamable creatures of the hills. Though they look like large friendly giants, golden and fluffy, they’re territorial and hostile. Many people have been mauled, charged, and killed by those things. Of course it would be the mount of choice for a nightstalker.
Othin helps Talea down from the insidious beast and she limps away from him. Limping? Her clothes are soaked with blood, her skin is smeared with it, she looks paler than usual. If not for the purple hair she would blend in with the snow. His hands reach out to help her as she collapses, she smacks his hands away. I see hurt and panic on his face, Talea is yelling at him.
She limps towards the door and I begin unclasping all the locks. My fingers shake with hurry, she needs medical attention now. I hear her voice yelling, but I can’t make out the words in my frantic panic. The last of the locks clicks and I pull on the metal handle yanking the heavy door open. She has to be ok; she has to. I need to help her.
The door swings open and I’m hit by a gust of cold wind. I pull my blue knit wrap tight around my shoulders and burst into the snow barefoot. I manage to not feel the cold; I have to get to Talea. She limps towards me more, her nightstalker reaches for her again. She stops dead in her tracks, turns around, and punches him in the face. He winces but I sense it’s not the punch that’s causing him pain.
I reach Talea and she falters with her legs crumpling. I catch her in my arms. “Talea!”
Her voice is quiet and shaky. “Les, I’m cold.”
Oh no. I rip the shawl from my shoulders and wrap it around Talea. She’s heavy but I will myself to not fail her now, at a slow steady pace I pull her across the snow. She tries her best to walk but it’s more of a half crawl as she pushes her shaky legs across the cold white ground.
“Talea!” I hear a deep thundering voice. “Let me help you!”
I turn my head and snap at the nightstalker responsible for this madness. My voice comes out in a hissing tone foreign to me. “Go away nightstalker!”
“She-“
I cut him off and propel Talea forwards with a burst of strength. “If she deems it, she will find you.”
I turn my head to see him standing there. A raging storm boils up within me and bursts from my lungs. All the anger and frustration I’ve been repressing storms forth into one solid moment of wrath. I duck from under Talea’s arms allowing her to collapse into the snow. I turn and drop into a hunching stance letting loose a powerful high-pitched scream.
“Leave!” I feel my face flush hot with fury as my eyes feel like they’re burning.
He flinches, takes a deep breath, and nods. Without any more objection he climbs up the side of the zigon. “Tell her we will meet where we first met. The pack will be waiting.”
I respond with a glare as I see the zigon kick up into the snow and bolt away. The rage dissipates and leaves me exhausted; I gasp as I turn and see Talea lying unconscious in the snow. “Talea!”
I need to be like Talea right now, I need to be strong, I need to be powerful, I need to be a raging storm. I grit my teeth and pull her arms around my shoulders and lift her from the snow. I drag her to the door leaving a trail of red snow. My lungs heave with strained breath as I cross the threshold of our doorway. I prepare myself for having to carry her down the stairs when all of the sudden she doesn’t feel heavy anymore. I look up and lock eyes with Trigan.
He lifts Talea up and drapes her across his shoulders with eyes glaring into me. Without words he turns from me and steps down the stairs out of sight.With a sigh I pull the heavy door closed. I move down the dozen locks clicking them tight. My hands shake as they withdraw from the last lock and press flat against the door. Blood smears across my fingers, Talea’s blood. Hot tears fall from my eyes as I slide down the door and hug my knees on the floor.
I knew this would happen. I knew and I couldn’t stop it. Couldn’t convince her to stop it. My body heaves until I feel like I’ll vomit, she’s going to die. Maybe not today, but today means something. It’s only the beginning. My body floods tears from my face until I’ve cried myself empty and I do nothing but dry heave. My eyes are puffy and my nose runny.
I’ll patch her up, like I always do. I’ll patch her up and then she’ll be off again. She’s going to leave and I won’t be there for her, and she’ll die. I’m not strong like her, I’m not powerful, I’m not a fighter. But without me, she’ll die.
I stand up and wipe my nose on the sleeve of my nightdress. I’ll sew her up, I’ll nurse her back to health. Like I’ve always done, and will always do. No matter what’s ahead, I’m going with her. I can be stubborn too.
✽✽✽
TALEA:
My head feels murky and dizzy, I force myself to open my eyes but my eyelids feel too heavy and close right away. I groan, I feel like I’ve been trampled by a an orbig. My entire body aches and my limbs feel too heavy to move. I feel powerless and weak, it terrifies me.
I hear Lesedi’s voice as she presses a hand against me. “Don’t try to move, rest.”
I scowl and shake my head in slow motion. “No. I have to-“
I flinch as she flicks me in the nose. “You have to rest and heal. Suns Talea, I only finished tending you an hour ago.”
My voice is slurred and my thoughts are confused. “What time of day is it?”
I can hear Lesedi roll her eyes. “It’s mid-morning, go back to sleep.”
My eyes burn with fiery pain as I force them open. “We need to talk.”
Lesedi draws in a calming breath. “We can talk tomorrow, sleep.”
I shake my head as the cloud of daze dissipates. “No, we need to talk.”
My brilliant, beautiful, patient sister leans over me losing her calm. “Can you just once listen to me?”
I smirk and pull myself into a slouching position despite Lesedi pushing on me to lay back down. “If I did that, who would challenge you?”
Lesedi flares her nostrils looking away to the opposite wall. I can tell she’s counting to ten. Clasping her hands tight in her lap she brings her eyes back to me. “When we’re done talking will you sleep?” I nod. “Then say it with as few words as possible so you can get back to resting.”
I pause and screw my face into a contemplating expression. “Promise you won’t freak out?”
She pulls herself into her signature perfect posture. “Perhaps.”
I glare at her. “I hate it when you say that.” I wince pulling myself up further attempting to mimick her. “Perhaps. What does that even mean?”
My sister raises one eyebrow and leans forward. “Perhaps one day I’ll tell you.”
I let out a long breath and sink back into the bed rolling my eyes. “Ok. Short version. Three clans of nightstalkers right?”
She tilts her head. “Yes. I taught you about them.”
I scowl at her again. “Fine miss ‘I know everything’. You want as few words as possible? I’m going to help Othin and his clan kill The Razor Bone and save the world.”
Silence. Lesedi’s eyes drift away to stare lifeless at the wall, she’s thinking. This isn’t her usual lost in the clouds contemplation, she’s calculating. I hate it when she does this. It feels supernatural in a way, like she’s not totally a person or something. Like there’s something else going on in there that I can never understand. Not to mention she tends to stay gone for several minutes as her eyes dart back and forth and it feels so awkward.
I tap my fingers on my thighs. “So, anything to say?”
She continues to stare off at nothing, calculating. I wonder what’s going through her mind? What’s she thinking? I can’t even begin to speculate what goes on in there. How is she so smart? Smart doesn’t even feel like it can properly cover it. I look at my sister and try to be patient in waiting for her, then a thought comes to me and a shudder crawls up my spine. She’s half nightstalker too.
That’s not something I would ever have guessed, I mean, it’s Lesedi. I love her but there’s nothing about her that implies nightstalker blood. It makes sense for me, everything about me almost screams nightstalker. For me it makes sense, but Lesedi?
She moves her head in a slow motion back to face me, with tears in her eyes. I push myself to lift my arm and pat her hand. “Hey, it’s ok.”
Lesedi shakes her head and wipes her eyes. “No, it’s not ok. But it’s necessary.”
I frown. “What?”
She purses her lips holding back a storm of emotions. “It’s obvious. The world has been in a state of equilibrium for centuries. Neither side risks conquering the other lest they leave themselves open for destruction due inadequate numbers.” My brows scrunch and I shake my head with confusion. She sighs. Sometimes I think it’s painful for her to talk to me. I must be so stupid in comparison. “Nightstalkers don’t try to destroy all of us, or the other clans, because no clan has the numbers to go to war without losing all of their people too. Skysingers have never been able to eradicate them because we only have the strength to destroy one clan, leaving us open to attack from the other two.”
I nod understanding but not comprehending where she’s going with this. “Ok.”
“If the Blood Bane has decided to risk upsetting the balance and go to war, which could bring destruction upon themselves, then that means there is a greater threat than territory defense. The Razor Bone have become a threat to the world as a whole. How?”
I hesitate feeling intimidated by her, she makes me feel like an idiot child. “The Razor Bone, they’re organizing. Wikon says they have a leader from the Srexi who’s leading them.”
Her eyes dart back and forth for a few seconds and she nods. “Then we are all in danger indeed. What is the plan?”
My eyes widen, I thought she’d be more opposed and in general, angry. “Uh, um. Well, I’m supposed to go to the srexi and get them to agree to an alliance. Then get the council to send the Sky Legion to join up so we can all kill the Razor Bone together.”
Lesedi pulls her hands up to her face and whispers into her fingertips. “You’re insane.”
I sigh and drop my head. “I know.”
A tense silence comes over us broken by Lesedi’s shaky voice. She’s so filled with fear I can’t tell what else is in that storm of hers. “Why you?”
I feel an imaginary punch to the stomach. She doesn’t know yet. “Well, um.”
Lesedi locks eyes with me, they glare with a terrifying intensity. “Why you Talea?”
I try to shrink back into the bed but I can’t escape. Resignation washes over me and I commit myself to the words. She needs to know, deserves to know. “I, we-” I let out a slow breath. “We’re half nightstalker Lesedi.”
She goes silent and still but her eyes don’t drift away. I know better than to interrupt her, plus I’m too scared to. She’s so delicate and small, how can she intimidate me so much? She has this presence about her, an authority that’s natural to her and no one even thinks of questioning. Watching her I realize Lesedi’s power is internal. She can’t fight, but she doesn’t need to.
Her eyes blink a few times and she taps my hand and whispers. “So we are.”
I shake my head. “Wait, what? That’s it?”
Lesedi tilts her head and smiles. “Were you expecting something more dramatic?”
My head gives a firm nod with a surprised frown. “Frankly, yes. Yes, I was. A gasp at least, maybe some tears, screaming even.”
She shrugs her shoulders and rubs her temples. “You aren’t lying. The nightstalkers can’t lie, their only redeeming quality. If you work backwards through the logic it must be true. It’s wise to never deny a fact, regardless of how unpleasant it is.”
I scoff. “What book said that?”
Lesedi smiles. “No book, me. It makes sense though doesn’t it? Nothing I can do can change the fact; the truth is truth. My actions do not affect it. Thus, there is no recourse but to accept it and move forwards.”
I relax with a weight lifted from my soul. A slow smiling breath leaves my lungs and I sink into the bed with sleepy eyes. “I’m glad you’re ok.”
Her face intensifies and with it my body tenses again. She leans forwards and her voice gains a firm chilling quality. “Here’s another fact for you. I’m coming with you.”
I bolt upwards with wide open eyes and shriek with an audible gasp. “No! Les you can’t!”
She crosses her arms and smirks. “No use fighting it. It’s a fact. I’m coming with you.”
I reach a shaky hand up to my forehead and press my fingertips against my temples, my eyes fall away to look at the old blanket over my legs. “No, it’s my job to protect you.”
I hear her laugh while she leans forwards and flicks me in the ear. “Look at you! I believe so far, it’s been my job to protect you. I’ve stitched you up more times than I can count.”
I pull my hands away and pull my knees up to my chest. My lungs suck in a sharp breath through the pain. “It’s different. I’m-“
“Stronger?” She cuts me off. Her eyes pull into a hard glare not often seen on her face. Not eyes of cold disapproval, this is rage. “You’re faster and braver than me also? That may be true, but you’re being an idiot.” I puff out an angry breath of shock. She doesn’t let me respond. “Think what you will, but you’re going to need so much more than a rope and a ball on this journey. You can’t just hit people and make them listen to you. You need someone trained in diplomacy, culture studies, and politics. Not to mention medicine, I doubt you’ll get through this without getting hurt.”
I roll my eyes. “You’re a trained diplomat now?”
Lesedi stands up from the bed and points to her wall of books. “Twenty-seven of these books are about political science, diplomacy, culture, and medicine. Not to mention the dozens of books about military strategy, probability theory, psychology, cartography, botany, biology, meteorology, and a host of other subjects whose contents can determine your success or failure. Most likely, failure. Would you care to read all of these yourself?”
I purse my lips and cross my arms feeling weary, she won a long time ago but I’m going down fighting. “So, what, you’re going to cart your library around with us?”
Her face falls still and unamused. “I don’t need to. I remember every single word of every single book. You want to form an impossible alliance, bridging not only enemy clans but enemy species. Not to mention trekking across the vast hills of the outlands through the middle of lune. Can you in all honesty say you don’t need me?”
She wins, she always does when it comes to logical arguments. Facing down those cold disapproving eyes I realize I didn’t put much thought into this. Or rather, any thought at all. To be fair I was too busy being furious with Othin. She’s right, I need her. I’ll fail without her, suns, I’ll probably die without her. Or get Othin killed.
I look into those purple eyes similar to mine but bigger, and more oval shaped. I look for the nightstalker in her and though I can’t find it in her appearance, I see it behind her eyes. Everyone calls me the stubborn one, I am, but there’s a determination behind those eyes. My eyes glance over the wall lined end to end with books. They’re squeezed so tight that plucking one from its place would drown me in literature. The realization drowns me all the same. Lesedi is the key, not me.
Lesedi is the one who will accomplish this, my job is to get her there. I have a gnawing pit in my stomach, she shouldn’t go. It’s dangerous, far too dangerous. A voice inside tells me to make her stay, tie her to the bed until I’m far enough away, something, anything. But she’s made up her mind, she’ll find a way to follow me anyway. Now I know how she feels so much of the time, it’s infuriating. It would be easier to change the moon than alter her plans. It’s a trait we share.
I let out a hard breath conceding. “Alright. I hope you’ve got a warm coat.”
She grins and leaps up to begin chattering away about what to pack. I see her darting around the room and her voice turns into one long blur. My vision darkens and I drift off with my last thoughts being nothing but worry. Father Sky, Moon Mother, anybody, please don’t let me get her killed.