The door swung open and the screaming girl fell through. She pushed herself up with her palms and shouted to the man at the counter.

“Father! Altus’s escaped again!”

“Again?! That damned beast! Wendy, I thought I told your brothers to take it out back and put it out of its misery?!”

“They were but Jeb let go of its reigns and…”

The sound of four hooves clacked on the wood of the shop's porch. The beast was right next to the side of the entrance.

The girl 'eeked' and stood, quickly running past Abel and Caster, she lept over the counter, only to immediately raise her head so she could peek at whatever creature it was that scared her in here.

"Here it comes!" Abel tensed, holding his short sword with both hands.

My Disintegration Ray is ready but... I don't want to destroy this shop. We're outside of the city, but we're not that far away. If other people see it, it could be bad. Plus, I still have the Zz'Wrath on me! I have to be careful! Caster grit his teeth as the thing on the other side began to show itself.

First, came its snout - no different from a sheep's. Its eyes were horizontal rectangles. It had brown horns that curled like a billy-goat's. Its fleece was a shimmering gold.

I'm sorry... what? Caster blinked, unsure if this was what had scared the girl so terribly.

Standing in the doorway, just a bit shorter than Caster, was a yellow goat.

"B-beep-Bleep!" It snorted. It sounded as if the beast was trying to make a goat's bleeding sound, but its cries were choppy and erratic.

"Altus! You get outta here this instant!" The shopkeeper shouted at the goat.

"B-b-beep!" Altus responded, nodding his head up and down frantically, without moving an inch from his position at the doorway.

"What... is it?"

"A bastard is what he is. Should have died months ago!" The shopkeeper answered.

"Why is it covered in gold?" Abel asked the obvious question.

"He's not covered in gold, he IS gold! Altus got caught out in the middle of a thunderstorm and got hit by a bolt of lightning, saw it myself!" The girl answered.

"Beep-beep!" The goat nodded its head frantically once more as if responding to her words.

A case of theft: this story is not rightfully on Amazon; if you spot it, report the violation.

"I think he's magic! So I named him Altus, the Lightning Ram." She said in as much awe as she did fear.

You’re joking.

"A magic pain in my ass is what he is!" The shopkeeper shouted again. "We've tried putting him down three times now, and every time he thinks he can stop us by ramming himself into my place of business when we get customers!"

"Beep." Altus nodded.

"So... he doesn't hurt anybody?" Abel asked, starting to put his sword away.

"Not unless you try to pick him up. He'll shock you till you let go." The girl answered.

"Shock me?" Abel asked.

"Yup. I think when he got hit by lightning, his coat absorbed it! I bet one of the Gods was playing around and threw one of their bolts too far, and it made Altus what he is today." The girl said, with a certain conviction.

"My daughter doesn't know what she's talking about. The beast is a foul omen! It shouldn't exist!"

"We'll buy him!" Abel said.

We will?!

"Hell, you can have him for free! If you can make him go with you, that is."

Abel looked at the creature, still standing in the doorway.

"How about it fella? We won't try to kill you, I promise!" Abel knelt, trying to reason with the beast as if it would understand him.

Altus looked Abel up and down, then approached him, slowly. The thing stared at Abel without a sound, then opened its mouth, licking the boy's forehead.

"Yeah!" Abel cheered, standing, then began scratching at Altus's golden coat.

Every movement of Abel's fingers made tiny sparks crack and fizzle along their path - but it didn't seem to shock him.

Altus turned his head, now looking at Caster. It stared him right in the eye for a moment, before lowering its head and placing it under Caster's hand. Caster cautiously joined Abel in scratching its hide.

Brushing it is like making a thousand mini-bolts of lightning! I guess Abel's idea wasn't too terrible. Having a lightning goat might be useful, someday, somehow.

Caster stopped petting Altus as the sound of grinding metal came from where Altus's head was. Caster stepped back, wondering how the goat was making such an odd sound. In horror, he realized Altus had taken one of the 10-count rolls of gold coins and was grinding the metal into a paste with its invincible molars.

-10 Gold coins!

"Hey! Quit that!"

"Beep!" Altus released a small puff of electricity, shocking Caster away, but leaving Abel alone entirely.

"See! It plays favorites too." The shopkeeper's point was valid as it was spiteful.

"Oh! The other livestock! We'll need 25 horses, 50 cows, and... 200 chickens." Abel decided, continuing his thought from before Altus interpreted their business.

"Aye."The shopkeeper nodded. "That'll cost you about... 80 Gold, depending on what city you need my sons to wrangle the animals to."

"Got change for a Talent?" Caster took out one of the fancy black coins, holding it in the air.

Altus looked up as he did, watching the thing with an insidious lust for the inedible coin.

"Beep!" It bleated as Caster.

"No Altus! This is my money!" Caster shooed him away.

Altus raised his head in a dignified manner, then looked away from Caster.

Jeez, what an attitude!

"I'll get Jeb and Jethro to gather up your order. Where to?"

"Casterville. It's a 6-hour walk south-east from here, just to the east of Buckley's Wood just outside the blight of the Badlands."

"Ahh, simple enough. We'll be ready in a jiffy. In the meantime just... make sure that thing doesn't break into anything else." The shopkeeper left out the backdoor.

"Beep-Beep!"