Caster, remain calm. Nothing was done to you maliciously. Remember - I am on your side.

Yohg’s monotone speaking box tried to calm Caster.

“Sure you are. That’s why you kept me asleep for 80 years!”

You were not kept asleep, you were… not awakened.

“Oh, my… is there a manager or something I can talk to?”

A manager? I do not believe you wish to speak with Spooky, he will not respond how you wish.

“I don’t, actually. But I’d love to know. How do I summon him? Do I have to think out loud or something?”

An audible sigh came from Yohg’s text box.

I’ll inform him of your grievances. One moment.

Yohg’s box disappeared. For a moment, Caster could have sworn elevator music was being played while he was on hold. When he looked at the floor, he realized it was the tune of keys being played by the twelve-inch pianist he wished for not too long ago.

“At least one of us is having a good time.” Caster mumbled.

The pianist once again glanced toward Caster in the corner of its eyes, then tipped his bowler hat, and continued his energetic rendition of ‘The Entertainer.’ Even in his sour mood, Caster’s foot couldn’t help but tap along to the happy beat.

Spooky will be here momentarily.

“Good.” Caster stood, a frown on his face. With his arms folded as they remained in awkward silence.

Maybe I am being unreasonable. Hmm… no. No! I died, and they kept me dead. In fact, Yohg was the one who killed me! Poor Elenore probably blamed herself for everything too. And a war broke out! All because of whatever these two are planning. It’s insanity. At least The Agency tried keeping me not dead!

Then, a familiar sound rose from the space in front of Caster. It was the sound of fabric being torn in two, the ripping being caused by two skeleton hands that reached out from the void.

Just as he had before, Spooky’s skeletal form stepped out from the gap, and the portal snapped shut behind him.

Caster opened his mouth immediately but paused as he saw what the skeleton man was wearing. It was a robe of deep velvet, laced with black tapering. It fit neatly over him as if he were a full, real human. Only his skull head stuck out from the robe, his purple octagon-shaped eyes glaring back at him, unwavering. In his hands was a ceramic mug that had steam gently rising from the top of the hot liquid inside.

“What’s up,” Spooky’s voice sounded the same as the ethereal syrup that telepathically filled Caster’s mind when he spoke before, but this time the skeleton was speaking for real.

“I…” Caster started, but he wasn’t sure to begin. “You! You…” Caster trailed off again.

“What’s up with you and pronouns today? You turn this guy’s thoughts into porridge, Yohg?”

I did not

“You killed me!” Caster finally made a whole sentence.

“No, Yohg killed you. Your vessel, actually. Has he thanked you for that?” Spooky turned slightly toward Yohg again but didn’t give him time to answer. “No, I didn’t think so. Hideous things, Minions. I made designed them to be used by players for income and experience to level. Most of the time they get forgotten though like you were.”

Caster could only stare.

“What’s a… player?”

“Nothing you need to know about for now. Even if I told you, you would gain about 999 levels in Arcane from your ‘KnOWlEdGe is PoWeR’ Skill, then die instantly from the overload.”

“I don’t understand.”

“No, because you’re not asking relevant questions. You came here to bitch, so start bitchin’.” Spooky took a sip of his drink. The contents of the cup lowered ever so slightly as if the animated bones were actually drinking it.

“Why wasn’t I revived immediately after Yohg killed me?”

Did you know this text is from a different site? Read the official version to support the creator.

“You weren’t connected to your Monolith during the Ascension and re-birth process. After I stopped Yohg’s attack from killing you for good, you just floated around like a bag of Essence. Yes, you were an Avatar at that time, but only in title. Bit of an error when I sent you inside The Arena, but I expected hiccups like how you didn’t even know about half your powers,” Spooky spoke casually, waving his free hand around as if everything that happened during Caster’s existence was an awkward mishap.

Clever - Knowledge is Power, Activated! +1 Arcane!

Ascension? Re-birth? So I DID exist before I was a Minion!

“Why was I ‘re-born’ inside The Arena? Who was I before that? How did I get here?!” Caster remembered his deepest question.

“Damn it,” Spooky held up an index finger. “I’ve said too much. I’m still missing a certain Grimoire that you left in The Agency’s Hands. If you remember, we had a deal that you would get that answer after and only after you returned it to me.”

Caster prepared to protest but stopped.

He’s right. I guess for now I have to ask questions about what happened after I was born in my minion body.

“If you stopped me from dying, why didn’t you wake me up right away?”

“Big energy sink. Plus, your re-birth served its purpose for me, in that you caused the Great War, albeit accidentally.”

“What was the great war? They said it was caused by the Minionborn, me.”

“As much as I’d love to give you a 1,200-page story about the wars and peace of Perdita, I’ll keep it short. You came into Perdita through the Arena. You brought with you two things - your soul and my Grimoire. Everyone knew this right away because you fell out of The Arena simulation after they shut it down. That doesn’t happen to things like normal Minions that don’t have souls. You tracking?”

“That’s because I didn’t just spawn inside the Arena. Someone, like an Archmage or stronger, would have had to send me inside. Just like how those two fighters got there,” Caster slowly nodded.

“Holy hell, kids’ barely a day old and already smarter than every single Agency hack combined. Give em’ some Clever points!”

Clever - Knowledge is Power, Activated! +1 Arcane!

Wait, did I learn enough for those levels, or did Spooky do that himself? Questions for later.

“Yes, I sent you there. No Old God can do that alone, meaning the Agency either had a couple of traitors, or one of the Elder Gods had figured out how to break their cute little spells. The Agency freaked out, and decided to send you on a cute little stealth mission to go ‘become human’ or whatever so that you would regain your memories so that they could interrogate you in order to learn something about their infiltrators.”

“But I died before that happened.” Caster realized.

“Not a bad call. Rule number one of the Cosmic Center – anything is game EXCEPT for other Avatars. Unfortunately, I, Yohg, and you are the only ones that follow the rules. There are a few renegades, but they’re way out of your league, so don’t worry about it.”

That sounds like exactly the kind of thing I should be worried about. I can shoot laser beams for an infinite amount of time with infinitely increasing strength, but THEY are out of MY league?!?

“What you should worry about is a real threat that’s popped up on the other side of the world. I have no idea how, but a certain witch got her hands on my Grimoire and used it to give herself a metric ton of raw power. I’m talking Avatar-level power. The worst thing is, she got it all from the Occult section. Meaning she hard-counters the Avatars and Old Gods – and she’s out for blood.”

“Let me guess… since I’m the new guy, I have to be the one to stop her.”

“A round of applause for the omni-gendered genius in blue.” Spooky’s cup levitated mid-air as he clapped his bone hands together in a circle.

“Yes. The whole reason that you are alive and breathing again is because I brought you back to uphold your end of the bargain. In fact, you don’t even have to stop her. Just get your hands on the book and bring it back to me one way or another.”

“What about my city? Don’t I need an army to fight the other Avatars and the Old Gods with?”

“Hmm…” Spooky paused. “Yohg, analysis.”

Caster is making ever-increasing jumps in command over his region of Perdita. It would be most useful for him to continue this progress while we figure out how to best lure the witch into a trap after she arrives in Perdita after she leaves the Dreamlands beyond the Shroud Sea.

Dreamlands? I don’t remember seeing that on the map. Shroud Sea? That’s… on the end. Oh!

“There are other continents?” Caster asked aloud.

Clever - Knowledge is Power, Activated! +1 Arcane!

Spooky’s eyes slowed and rolled toward Yohg, then the skeleton shook his head in disapproval.

My apologies.

Yohg said to Spooky in an almost embarrassed manner. Clearly, he’d overshared.

“The time for you to show off that light-show of yours will come soon enough. For now, you only need to worry about your subjects inside the Badlands. Remember, keep those mortal flesh-bags in line. I don’t care if you have to murder half the planet to make them learn their place. Believe me, I'm a lot nicer than the other Avatars, but if I have to, I will come down there it will become another planetary omnicide.” Spooky’s tone lowered as if he were being serious.

Did he just call my disintegration ray a light-show? What did he mean by 'another'???

“The last thing we need is another heretical uprising, trust me. One more of those and all of Reality might shatter. They are your servants, not your friends. Such is the rite of the Elder Gods.” Spooky stood straighter, the pride in his words correcting his once relaxed spine. He turned around, and reached forward, tearing open a portal in the darkness once more. Before he vanished, he looked toward the tiny man in the suit and bowler hat still playing tunes on the floor.

“He fell for the old pianist trick huh?"

The pianist tipped his hat toward Spooky, who grinned, then glanced back to Caster once more.

"Keep it up newbie. Just try not to be so gullible from here on out.”

“Well, I was born yesterday.” Caster shrugged.

“One time is funny, two times is fucking annoying.”