Soon enough, the night was quickly approaching. My and Wu-chan's walk took a while, mostly because we just wanted to take our time.

I personally found it relaxing and just so calm. I mean, I'm sure that almost everyone would feel the same after experiencing what just happened today.

Wu-chan naturally loved it as well. It must have felt euphoric in comparison when she had to deal with all the relevations she had gotten today as well, along with the fact that she had some existential crisis over just how fucking vast the cosmos is, and the fact that her world is made up in a way similar to a story from my former universe. And no, I'm not going to ponder if the story came first or this world.

Another thing I really need to remember is to keep my knowledge of the cosmos that is probably, most definitely, forbidden knowledge in this world, to myself. Better not give people of this world more existential crisis than they already have thanks to the existence of Innate-ranked beings and Holy Beasts and who knows what more.

They can weep about beasts and whatnot and be able to survive, but I'm pretty sure not many warriors have the capacity to just comprehend how vast the universe is.

Or, I could weaponize it and making our enemies die out of sheer terror of their own insignificance since they are lower than a random cell from the body of the goddess that reincarnated me in this world, who is also novice compared to many other gods. That would be just so depressing for so many people who define their self-worth with their power and ego alone.

At least, it went relatively well all things considered.

Still, it was getting a bit late at the moment, and we both decided to return to our area. Honestly it was a bit strange to think that 'our' area still exists at all after all what happened today. A part of me thought that the hive's place will be utterly wrecked or something.

'Why? So you can have an escape arc right then and there instead after maybe a few days from now?'

Hearing my Narcissism's amused remark, I decide to just shake my head when Wu-chan looked at me questioningly as I made myself comfortable.

"Jiko Ai is just being snarky."

"Oh. She obviously likes that." Mei Wu smiled, -though I felt it was a rather awkward, slightly nervous smile-, sighing a bit at that. "She certainly made it clear that she loves acting just like you when you're carefree. Except with more extremes."

"You can say that again." I only put a hand on my face as I sighed, remembering just how Jiko Ai acted when she took over my body when I was, in her words, "too accepting of death". The sheer glee she was feeling as she was brutally having her army of plants murdering and eating the corpses of her enemies, and the amusement she felt when she was breaking the minds of the Xie clan's disciples with just immensely overwhelming pleasure.

'Now, if only you can say you totally won't do this, right?' Jiko Ai, clearly not satisfied with just letting me alone, decided to point the obvious. 'I mean, we both know that your bond with Wu-chan is the only thing stopping you from liking it as much as I did.'

Well, she isn't wrong, sadly. I loved how cruel I (Jiko Ai) was to the disciples and all that. And I was certain that I would have been even more happy about it had things gone better, or worse. I was certain that I would be way more enthusiastic about it if Jiko Ai didn't become a completely separate personality and it was just me having to deal with increasingly stubborn instincts.

'I hate that you are right.' grumbling mentally at her, I shook my head, Mei Wu not saying anything about my mood as she made herself comfortable as well.

Her Qi hummed, the Apoptosis itself not emanating, not really. She wasn't planning to cultivate at the moment, since we still had questions to each other.

I remembered what Jiko Ai told me, something about taking over my body for a day, or close to that. And rewatching the memories I got from her allowed me to see that she had made a deal with Wu-chan.

I was far from thrilled as the memory resurfaced in my mind, and I frowned.

"Ai'er?" my lover asked me worriedly.

"..." I was silent for a while, not knowing what to say, and surprisingly Jiko Ai was silent as well, and I felt she was taking this seriously despite the almost visible amusement. Then again, I only met her for a few hours or a day at most, and the Narcissism was a part of me, no doubt of that, and she clearly knows when it is serious.

Mei Wu's qi faded as she focused fully at me, and I gave a blank sigh.

"The deal you made with Jiko Ai. I have to be honest and say that I am not exactly happy about it."

I saw her wince at that before looking away with guilt. "Yeah, I know that. I... I'm sorry."

She didn't know what more to say to me about that, or maybe she didn't know how to say it.

Looking at her with my human eyes from above, she was clearly unhappy about it. Maybe not regretful about agreeing when it was a tense moment and she thought I would be dying or just wiped out by my alter ego, but definitely guilty.

... Damn it, how do I even discuss it with her? A part of me feels upset about her accepting that deal, but I also love her too much to just blame her for what was clearly the only choice given to her by my Narcissism in a stressful situation.

'While I can feel your guilt and feelings towards my choice, I will tell you that I don't regret it one bit.' Jiko Ai told me, and I felt that she was doing her best not to feel amused by the seriousness and the nature of the topic I and Wu-chan were trying to discuss. 'Nor will I accept you just ordering me to retract it.'

I looked down at the inactive pit of aphrodisiac. I was irked at what she told me. "I thought you promised not to hurt Wu-chan, Jiko Ai." I spoke just low enough for my lover to hear me along with my Narcissism. Even though I could just tell her mentally, I just felt that speaking loudly was more fitting.

Deep in our shared soulscape, I could sense, almost see the scowl of Jiko Ai towards me, and I had the feeling she was crossing her arms in irritation.

'And as I promised, I don't want to harm her if I can help it. Surely a few hours didn't make you forget our discussion?' she retorted at me, 'As long as I (we) am (are) satisfied and our desires are fulfilled, I won't need to feel so constricted to the point of trying to take over your body and mind just to satisfy something you and I both feel yet you keep rejecting it so hard.'

"Ai'er? Are you...?" I found myself ignoring Wu-chan's curious yet hesitant expression to mentally glare harder at the Narcissism without speaking a word at the blunt remark.

'... Is there a way to bring you outside even for a while without giving you control?' I finally asked my alter ego.

'Why are you asking? I don't... Oh.' she seemingly blinked, realizing what I want. Giving me a mental sigh, she answered me. 'I suppose I can take over a clone, though I can only stay there for only an hour at most. I'm still a newborn ego, all things considered.'

That makes sense, I suppose.

"I'm fine." I softly answered Mei Wu's question, pulsing my Qi, something that made her wary yet she trusted me regardless. "I just think we need another member to join. It would be far better that way."

In less than ten seconds, a Normal-ranked alraune was created, and it was clear that it was lacking any sort of intelligence like any plant beast I create. I could easily command it to do my bidding, see through its eyes and experience the world through its (relatively) fragile existence. Yet I did not do that, and instead I gave the control to my Narcissism.

'A Normal-ranked alraune. Do you really worry about me harming you and Wu-chan that much?' yet, despite the slight irritation and mockery in her tone, I felt how something in my mind shifted.

Her voice vanished from my soulscape, yet I could clearly feel the 'core' of her being still in my body even as the feeling of the predator emanated faintly from the Normal-ranked alraune I created as her eyes opened. Even though her 'presence' was mainly inside the alraune, I was certain that she would automatically return to my body the moment her new body was killed or if she wished to.

"Ahh~! At least, this gives me a good amount of freedom, even if temporarily~!" the alraune controlled by Jiko Ai's consciousness smiled, and I felt a slight shiver down my spine at the expression that was on what once was my face a a couple of months ago. I had probably made the same expression before, when I played with Xie Yu for a while, and while I was feeding on some of the animals and beasts before I met Mei Wu, but still, it was weird and unsettling to look at my face being so... creepy.

"Jiko Ai? So she could control of one of your clones too, huh, Ai'er?" Mei Wu tensed at the sight. Her form didn't look defensive, yet I was certain that any suspicious move from my Narcissism would be rewarded with a blast of the Apoptosis and the Tumor Mandala.

This tale has been unlawfully lifted from Royal Road; report any instances of this story if found elsewhere.

I only answered in the affirmative as Jiko Ai seemed to yawn, her joints giving a satisfied crack, and her eyes sharpening as the savage beast that was my instincts was clearly awake, putting us in her sight.

"Now, that just feels so good~!" giving a slight chuckle, the Narcissism's aura does not waver even if it doesn't expand, and her smile slowly became more subdued, even if it didn't fully disappear.

"So, now that we all got so angsty and accept we have a problem and all that, let's talk and discuss our problems like adults. So start talking." crossing her arms, she simply demanded.

The silence was almost deafening as we three looked at each other, and we all knew that Jiko Ai was not the most liked person at the moment, even if she didn't seem to care at all. Yet I felt how guarded she was, how she was clearly prepared to defend her stance, and if I could notice it, so could Mei Wu.

In the end, my lover started the conversation.

"You really don't want us to just ignore your... demands, don't you?"

The question is hesitant and wary. Mei Wu isn't sure what to say other than that. The way she says 'demands' makes it clear what she felt about it.

"No." the answer comes as quickly as it is absolute. "I do not. And I'd prefer if this was treated seriously."

"Maybe I would be way more accepting of this if we literally had more time to process this." I bit out, "And if I am still pissed at you joking about breaking Wu-chan into your sex toy before locking me in and taking control!"

"Wh- she did what!?" Wu-chan's face paled in shock at that as she looked at me.

Oh, yeah, Mei Wu didn't know that this idiot here said that while I was under the impression it was a real threat back then.

"Hahh... I knew this would come back." despite her face still looking serious, I felt that there was a hint of regret at her making that threat as she almost facepalmed at the reminder. "Again, I'm sorry for saying that. Honest! It was the first time I was aware of myself, and the first thing I can comprehend is that you, for some reason, were happy to die for the sake of your- our lover when you should fucking know that you dying might just make her easy picking for anyone or anything that would want to harm her with you out of the way."

I stilled at that, feeling my hair stand on end as she glared so furiously at me. The sheer disgust I felt emanating from her at the thought that me dying would be acceptable at all was staggering.

I already knew from her memories what she thought of me being so accepting of death, but facing it in person was a different thing altogether.

"Let me state this. You both know this already, but I will repeat myself." the feeling of the Predator increases, yet it somehow doesn't consume me or Wu-chan, both of us freezing from the sheer certainty and seriousness showing on my alter ego's face. "I am Jiko Ai. I am you, Kasumi Ai. I am your Narcissism, your instincts, your cravings. I am the manifestation of your selfish, self-centered, unrepentant unrestrained desire to maim and consume your enemies, to break your prey, to love and protect Mei Wu and whoever else you might love and care about in your journey. And more imprtantly, I am your desire to live so that these come true."

She was so absolutely assured in her identity, in her desires, in my desires that I felt like she would bare her fangs if I even dared to argue against that assessment.

"I do not, and will not accept anything more than you living to protect her and live for her. As long as you two love or care for each other, I will not allow any nonsense of dying for the sake of the other, either from you or from her. And if you dare to think once more that dying for her sake is ever a good idea, I will show you how disgustingly pathetic and cruelly selfish that is for both you and her."

I was paling at that. My hands couldn't stop shaking, and Wu-chan wasn't any better.

This bloodlust and rage, it was maddening. It was definitely unforgiving, self-centered craving that denied the idea of the death of one's beloved people. It rejected that notion completely.

In this creature's mind, the only acceptable death is death of old age after a long, satisfying life, that was how it felt to me, honestly. Anything else, and the mere idea shall be shredded apart without mercy.

And the most problematic thing is...

This was a part of my being who was stating this. A part that I would have felt more strongly had it not turned into a split personality. Despite wanting to refuse it, I felt that I would have acted the same down the road if things got that difficult and complicated.

I certainly would not want Wu-chan to die to protect me, and she certainly wouldn't want me to do that too. Both of us wanted the other to live, so much it felt just impossible to think of a world where the other died.

Live for each other's sake, huh. I was certain that it would have happened in the end.

Despite the clear threat, I found myself smiling at that. I could say that I agreed with Jiko Ai's mentality. It just... made sense somehow in a twisted way.

One look at Wu-chan and all amusement disappears. Her body was shaking, and her knuckles were white from how tight she was clenching her arms. She was far from amused by it, even if she did understand Jiko Ai's speech and feel the honesty in it.

"You told me before that you want to do what Ai'er does with me." she slowly spoke, and I couldn't determine if she was afraid or just hesitant about the whole thing. "H-how far does that extend? Assuming I and Ai'er accept, that is."

"Wu-chan? Are- are you alright?" of course, that was an idiotic question. She very much isn't.

Yet, even as I leave the top of my monstrous body and comfort her within my arms, there was this strange feeling that she isn't asking that just to know the answer. It felt as if... she is thinking of accepting Jiko Ai's deal?

"Really, you're too stubborn, Wu-chan."

I just use my lower, monstrous body's eyes to look at Jiko Ai who looked... almost resigned yet happy? Her smile seemed... almost like she was pitying towards Wu-chan for some reason.

"I told you before, didn't I? I would be satisfied just by personally doing the killing and eating of our enemies, and maybe some hugs and kisses from you. I'm not asking that you start becoming my sex toy or my partner in bed, you know." she continues, her voice almost softening. "I don't want to take advantage of your trust in her- in us, after all. Nor do I want to use the debt that you believe you owe her against you."

What? Debt? I- I didn't understand.

"Wu-chan, what does she mean by that? I- what does that- I don't get it."

Mei Wu didn't attemt to look at me when I asked her what that meant. Her form was trembling slightly. Her eyes are filled with... embarrassment and reluctance?

I can understand reluctance, but why is she blushing like she is... considering it?

"Of course, you don't understand." Mei Wu gently pushed me away, murmuring lowly in the same tone when she was miffed by my attitude yet still found it sweet and amusing regardless. "You probably never even thought of it, didn't you? I am sure the idea didn't enter your head at all, at least not in any serious manner." she shook her head at me like she was exasperated by me ignoring something so obvious.

"Because it is obvious to her, you idiot, even if both I and you don't see it as logical. Then again, you were never a warrior or a cultivator for that matter. You never truly experienced the hardships she experienced, the culture she lived in that was her only truth before meeting you. And of course, you never really realized how far she would go to please you if you really wanted it."

The words of the Narcissism hits me in my heart, freezing my body as my eyes widen.

And even as I look at my lover, I can't feel any hint of denial on her face even as she seemed like she wanted to.

"Jiko Ai is right, you know that?" Wu-chan finally sighs, her body limp as she looks so exhausted even though she never spent any effort at all. "I believe I made it clear even before we became a couple. What you gave me was something so far away from what I could just accept so easily. It- it just isn't possible for me to just do that."

She was blushing madly. Yet she didn't stop. It was like this was currently her only chance to tell me a secret.

"I just... can't refuse if you- if you asked me to do that, you know. Especially since I know that, uh..."

I breathed slowly to calm myself at that, and she just... looked at me, her eyes directly meeting mine as I could see the sheer honesty and devotion in them. I didn't need to hear anymore of her explanation. I fully understood what she was implying- what she meant with her debt towards me.

"Wu-chan..."

I could feel warmth at that. Warmth at the fact that she trusted me that much to the point that she would do whatever lustful desire I would want from her.

Yet, I also felt a slight chill as I realized why she seemed so reluctant yet not outright rejecting to Jiko Ai's request.

Because Jiko Ai was me. My cravings as an alraune, all of them for the most part. In a way, it makes sense that to satisfy my romantic/sexual cravings would require her to deal with my Narcissism directly, especially when Jiko Ai was, apparently, asking for so little.

The only reason this even looks like a problem to me and her is that Jiko Ai is no longer a mass of instincts and urges in my mind, but a full personality- and from the discussion I had with her in our soulscape, a fully cognizant soul. Otherwise, I knew that this stubborn woman wouldn't even think of it as a big deal!

... that inconsistent yet sweet idiot.

I just... sighed and helped Mei Wu stand up. "You can be really weird at times." I grumbled at her.

"Well, I learned from the best." at least, she was in a good enough mood to joke after... this conversation. I found myself smiling at her amused expression.

Though I knew that I would have a completely different conversation with her later, but again, that's for later, maybe tomorrow.

CLAP!

We nearly jumped as we looked at Jiko Ai's smirking face as she loudly clapped her hands.

"Congratulation on realizing something new about each other... well, Wu-chan exposed a kinky facet of herself that you didn't notice about her. You can praise my existence for that."

Despite the blatant blush that was showing on my face, I was ticked off due to how smug the Narcissism looked. And I was certain that she did this on fucking purpose.

"Now that we all know where each other is, and know that we probably won't friendzone me-" she pointed at herself.

"Yeah, she is your instincts alright."

Wu-chan, please don't lump me with her while saying so with that borderline bored tone.

"-because I'm awesome and Wu-chan would probably get a list of fetishes along the way with you as her lover, and by extention, ME. I'm gonna leave you to to talk... or makeout, whatever you feel like it." Jiko Ai didn't even respond to Mei Wu's comment as she continued her talk. "Meanwhile, I will be going to eat the remaining parts of the corpses, and maybe take a look on our... prisoner."

... I'm torn between being happy that she's basically praising me, embarrassed that she's blatantly telling me I can't keep it in my panties (which I don't even have), and being irked that she is adamant on ending this whole discussion on her terms by basically getting herself out of the picture even as I was gaping at her form retreating.

"Screw you, Jiko Ai!" needless to say, I defaulted to anger from the sheer embarrassment I received. I would have cut her in half if that put her out of my misery.

"Ai'er, let's not give her ideas!" her face red as mine, Wu-chan instead almost begged me not to give my alter ego any dirty ideas. I don't know whether she was more embarrassed by the way Jiko Ai was so assured our relationship will turn into a threesome or the fact that she might get a long list of kinks added in her mind later.

Tne Narcissism, without blinking or even seemingly caring, barely stopped as she looked at us, and I could feel the lustful thoughts emanating from her mind as she giggled.

"Screw you, you say? Oh, such a silly thing~! You have your fingers for that."

"... I'm going to murder something tomorrow, that's for certain." I murmured to myself as she left, leaving me alone with Wu-chan as my body trembled from irritation.

"So... that happened." Mei Wu squeezed my arm gently as she looked at me warily. It was very clear that I was probably slightly livid.

"Yes. Yes it did." she winced at my reply.

... Why do I have a sense of deja vu right now?