Guilty.
The verdict plays in my head over, and over again. How could this have happened to me?
"Any last words?" A man I don't recognize tells me.
"I-I didn't do it-" Were the only words I could spill out before the man pulled a lever.
The machine attached to my head made a horrible sound as it violently shook. An immense pain rang out in my head causing tears to stream down my face. My vision started growing blurry and dark as that pain got worse and worse. I felt my life flash before my eyes as my body started convulsing. Just before my vision went fully black I managed to speak one last time,
"I didn't do it."
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"Minions have spawned." A female voice spoke.
My eyes jolted awake. a dull pulsating pain in my head. thoughts quickly started welling up in my head: 'Where am I', 'What going on?', 'Who am I' are just a few. I couldn't remember anything except for the fact that I used to be able to remember something. Almost as if my past was at the tip of my tongue, One eureka moment away from remembering. However, it didn't seem like I had time to sit and think.
"Move it, soldier!" A male voice yelled whilst giving me a strong shove from behind.
Annoyed, I turned around to give this person a piece of my mind, but the person seemed to be the wrong word. It was a stumpy little creature wearing a blue cloth. Covering their face was a stone mask with another piece of stone slapped on their chest. In one hand was a hammer and in the other a giant shield. Suddenly, a memory, or rather a word, came back to me.
Minion.
From there, more information started flooding back to me. They were a part of a MOBA that I used to play called Hero's of Eternity. It was a ten v ten game where the goal was to destroy the enemy resurrection crystal to stop their heroes from reviving and then kill them all one last time. Minions were cannon fodder that would help push the enemy while also giving gold and experience to the enemy hero who killed them. But what was one doing here?
The minion broke my train of thought as it yelled at me again, "Don't make me ask again, soldier! Get a move on!"
"Soldier? Are you talking about me?" I spoke.
"Yes, you! Get moving! You're being left behind!" He responded
Soldier? I thought to myself. that can't be true. I may not remember my past, but for some reason, I knew I had never been to battle before. Call it a gut feeling.
"Last time soldier! Get a move on before I cave your skull in!" He yelled.
Startled by his threat I quickly turned tail and ran in the opposite direction. However, it didn't take very long for me to catch up with the group ahead. Unfortunately, the group ahead seemed to be made up of blue-clothed minions. There were eleven of them and they all wielded weapons. Some had swords and shields, while others had magic wands and bows & arrows, none had a hammer like the minion from before. Seeing this caused my stomach to drop as a terrible thought entered my mind, refuising to confirm what I looked like I instead walked unnoticed behind the group and turned my gaze to my surroundings. We had just apparently come from behind us from a large gate. There were five gates with a gigantic blue portal above the middle gate. We had come from the gate right of the middle one. The five gates each had a pathway leading out; the middle pathway, however, was blocked with a giant floating blue crystal and two huge stone knights standing guard. Above the gates and the crystal was nothing but clear skies. finally, I turned my gaze forward. It was difficult to see past the gaggle of minions, but above, I could see a forest up ahead. As I was looking, a minion at the back turned around to see me.
"Look, guys! it's a new minion!" it spoke, notifying the group.
His words made my stomach turn. It seemed it was finally time to face my reality. I held a shield in my left hand and in my right, a sword and the worst news. I was blue and stumpy.
I was a minion.
I couldn't help but frown. My sadness was interrupted by the conversation of the surrounding minions, who had all turned around to look at me.
"I was wondering why there were only eleven of us." One spoke.
"First time, huh?" Another asked.
"Y-yeah, what's going on?" I responded.
"It was like that for all of us. Don't worry." Another reassured.
It was hard to keep track of which minion was talking; after all, they all looked the same and had their faces covered. Trying to gauge direction wasn't very effective, as they were close-knit.
"Let's explain to the rookie as we go; we don't want to leave Beowolf alone, do we?" A minion spoke.
With that, they all turned around and continued along; a minion pushed me into the front of the group with the other sword-wielders.
"So what do you wanna know?" A minion to my left asked.
"Everything," I replied.
"How about a rundown, then?" He asked, waiting a moment before continuing,
"We are minions from a game called Heros of Eternity, although I'm sure you already know that, after all, the system plants that memory inside everyone's head. We were sent here as a punishment for breaking the laws in the real world. Before you even think about it, there is no escape. Trust me, we've all tried. Right now, we're working, meaning we are going to die in combat-"
"What?" I interjected.
"Ah, don't worry about it. You're not actually dying; you will be respawned in Minion society once work is finished."
"Minion Society?" I asked.
"Don't worry about it for now. All you need to know is that up ahead are bad guys, and we'll kill them with our hero, Beowulf. Everything else you can learn later, got it?" He responded
I attempted to nod before realizing that this body's head movement was rather…. limited. I couldn't slightly move my head up and down in an approving matter; I could only jerk it up and down violently. It seemed that minions weren't adequate in the slight movement category.
With the conversation seemingly dead. I noticed that we had entered the forest; we walked on an apparently man-made or rather minion-made pathway that led through the forest. To the left and right of us was the forest, with dense trees and a black fog that felt dangerous, almost as if I would die immediately if I attempted to enter it. The only light source came from the opening in the canopy above us that seemed to avoid the path. That's when I noticed it.
"What the {Bleep} is that!?" I yelled.
Bleep? I definitely said {Bleep}
Hearing me a minion responded “You can’t swear, the corps won’t let us watch, {Bleep} {Bleep} {Bleep} {Bleep} {Bleep} {Bleep} {Bleep} {Bleep} {Bleep} {Bleep} {Bleep} {Bleep} {Bleep} {Bleep} {Bleep} {Bleep} {Bleep} {Bleep} {Bleep} {Bleep} {Bleep} {Bleep} {Bleep} {Bleep} {Bleep} {Bleep} {Bleep} {Bleep} {Bleep} {Bleep} {Bleep} {Bleep} {Bleep} {Bleep} {Bleep} {Bleep} {Bleep} {Bleep} {Bleep} {Bleep} {Bleep} {Bleep} {Bleep} {Bleep} {Bleep} {Bleep} {Bleep} {Bleep} {Bleep} {Bleep} {Bleep} {Bleep} {Bleep} {Bleep} {Bleep} {Bleep} {Bleep} {Bleep} {Bleep} {Bleep} {Bleep} {Bleep} {Bleep} {Bleep} {Bleep} {Bleep} {Bleep} {Bleep} {Bleep} {Bleep} {Bleep} {Bleep} {Bleep} {Bleep} {Bleep} {Bleep} {Bleep} {Bleep} {Bleep} {Bleep} {Bleep} {Bleep} {Bleep} {Bleep} {Bleep} {Bleep} {Bleep} {Bleep} {Bleep} {Bleep} {Bleep} {Bleep} {Bleep} {Bleep} {Bleep} {Bleep} {Bleep} {Bleep} {Bleep} {Bleep} {Bleep} {Bleep} {Bleep} {Bleep} {Bleep} {Bleep} {Bleep} {Bleep} {Bleep} {Bleep} {Bleep} {Bleep} {Bleep} {Bleep} {Bleep} {Bleep} {Bleep} {Bleep} {Bleep} {Bleep} {Bleep} {Bleep} {Bleep} {Bleep} {Bleep} {Bleep} {Bleep} {Bleep} {Bleep} {Bleep} {Bleep} {Bleep} {Bleep} {Bleep} {Bleep} {Bleep} {Bleep} {Bleep} {Bleep} {Bleep} {Bleep} {Bleep} {Bleep} {Bleep} {Bleep} {Bleep} {Bleep} {Bleep} {Bleep} {Bleep} {Bleep} {Bleep} {Bleep} {Bleep} {Bleep} {Bleep} {Bleep} {Bleep} {Bleep} {Bleep} {Bleep} {Bleep} {Bleep} {Bleep} {Bleep} {Bleep} {Bleep} {Bleep} {Bleep} {Bleep} {Bleep} {Bleep} {Bleep} {Bleep} {Bleep} {Bleep} {Bleep} {Bleep} {Bleep} {Bleep}”
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"......"
"....."
"....."
"...sorry." The monstrous minion spoke.
We were getting off-topic.
"What is that!" I spoke, pointing upwards with my sword.
"Oh, that's the camera." Another minion responded.
In the sky, in place of where the sun should be, was a big black camera, with its lens directed at the earth. How did I not notice this before?
"Are we being watched?" I asked.
"Kinda, we show up on the camera, but it's focused on the heroes. Try not to worry about it too much, and it's only gonna give you performance anxiety." A minion responded
I tried to listen to the minion as we walked, but I couldn't help but feel its gaze on my back. After a while of walking, we came across a large stone tower that reached high above even the highest tree. A minion looked down at us and waved his magic wand at us, which we did in response.
"That's the backline tower. It defends our resurrection stone after our main tower falls, but not that it will. Sometimes, we get positioned there, but not often." A minion spoke.
I watched it as we walked by; I also noticed that there was a group of minions setting up a cannon at the front of the tower roof, aiming it over the edge and potential enemies trying to siege it.
We continued walking for a while. I managed to learn a few things on the way. None of us minions have given names, and two, being a minion is a forever thing. Some group members have been minions for a few months, others for a few years. One of the minions in the group even claimed to have been a minion for decades; the thought of that was dreadful.
Finally, we arrived at what I assumed to be the main tower; it looked exactly like the backline tower. The only difference was that the minions on top were fully set up with mage minions and bow minions aiming their weapons and a group of minions operating a cannon. In front of the tower, the path continued briefly before being cut off by a river streaming from left to right and disappearing into the black fog.
Across from the river was the continuation of the path that led up to a tower on the other side with the black fog right behind it. The tower was set up the same way as the tower on our side of the river except for one difference: The minions at the top were red. I'm not sure why, but just looking at them, I felt an immense hatred; instinctively, I gripped my sword tights and glared at them. However, a noise cut my intense stare of hatred short as I heard rustling from the forest on my left.
I turned to look; if my minion eyes could widen, they definitely did.
Out of the dark fog came a giant. He wasn't as tall as the tower but was around half its size, easily still four times taller than us minions. He had long, flowing brown hair that went to his shoulders, a powerful jawline capable of cutting through metal, fierce brown eyes and beautiful tan skin. He wore no shirt to show off his mighty muscular body; he had a fur cape behind him surly, made from the strongest bear ever seen. Covering his groin was a loincloth that left nothing to the imagination, and his muscular legs could easily crush anyone in his way. Finally, in his right hand was a gigantic long sword that seemed capable of cutting down the gods.
Finally floating above his head in blue writing were the words 'XxxSmellMyFinger69420.'
"Beautiful." A minion next to me spoke. "Who is that?" I asked.
"That's our mighty hero, Beowulf!" Another minion cheered.
"And the words above him?" I spoke.
"That's the nametag of the player controlling the mighty Beowulf." A minion responded.
He confidently walked past us and towards the river. As he did, I could see something coming from the black fog on the other side.
It was another giant.
This giant had long and probably greasy pink hair that went to her hips. Ghostly pale skin and eyes red like blood, most likely gained from the poor innocent victims she's brutalized. She wore a tight pink suit that showed off her grotesque cleavage. She also wore some accessories that were stupid and pointless. She had a giant pink hammer with an evil pink skull on the front. Floating above her head was red writing that read 'F33tL0v3r999.'
"It's Freya." A minion growled.
Following behind her were thirteen disgusting red minions. Wait… thirteen? I did a quick head count of us and noticed only twelve.
"Hey, are we missing a Minion?" I asked the group.
"Oh, the captain didn't come with it; it happens sometimes. More importantly, battle formation!" A minion spoke.
Quickly, the minions organized themselves with the ranged minions in the back and the melee in the front. There was only one problem. I was leading the charge.
"It's your first time, so we collectively thought you should lead the charge. After all, your first time should be memorable." A minion spoke.
I tried arguing against them, but they seemed deadset on letting me lead.
"Don't worry. All we have to do is wait for the horn to go off, and then we will charge, with Beowulf following behind." A monster reassured.
The horn? I thought to myself, however, Beowulf and Freya walked to the edge of their path, the river being the only thing blocking them from each other was the raging river in between.
We all watched as they stared intensely at each other. That's when, all of a sudden, Beowulf reached his sword High into the sky and was about to say something when his body jolted back to its original position before he quickly reached into the sky again; he repeated this action repeatedly without stopping.
Almost as if following suit on the other side of the river, Freya put her free hand on her hip and leaned onto her large hammer before resetting to her original position; then, similar to Beowulf, she jolted back to her original position before redoing the action. They did this to each other over and over again.
"What are they doing?" I asked.
"It's called emoting. I've heard legendary warriors do it as a sign of respect to each other at the start of a war." A minion spoke.
I watched them do this for a while, and the only word that came to mind was,
'Stupid'.
I wasn't given much time to mull over it as soon after, a loud noise sounded across the battlefield.
"That's the horn chaaaaaarge!" A minion behind me yelled.
To prevent myself from being crushed by the charging minions behind me, I rushed forward and past Beowulf.
I hadn't noticed before, but the previously raging river had calmed completely, allowing us to move into the, to my surprise, very shallow water.
It only took a few moments to arrive at the red minions across from us. As soon as we got close, my body froze; I had never fought someone before; was this going to hurt? Am I going to die? Can I really kill another person- Minion, I mean?
The opposing red minion did not waste my moment of hesitance. He swung his sword at me. Panicked I put my shield up to block while I attempted to close my eyes. Fun fact: minions can't close their eyes. I felt the blade slam into my shield; it was much heavier than I thought, causing me to stumble slightly backwards. In desperation, I swung my sword back to try and retaliate, but-
*Slash*
My sword collided with the head of the blue minion next to me. Luckily, he seemed fine; the only change was the blue bar atop his head seemed to shrink.
"Sorry," I cried out.
"Focus, newbie!" The minion responded.
I turned back, remembering my enemy right before me, but it was too late.
*Shink*
{Minus 0.3 hp}
I looked down to see the blade going directly to my chest.
The blade pierced right through.
I gritted my teeth (or at least tried to) in anticipation of the pain to come, but it never came. Do minions not feel pain?
I had no time to think about it. As the red minion pulled his sword out of my chest, I took the time to retaliate, thrusting my sword forward. This time, I made sure I didn't accidentally hit an ally. However, before the sword could reach him-
*Clank!*
The minion managed to bring his shield up, blocking my attack.
THings were looking grim. Hopefully, Beowulf would save me, right?
Against my better judgment, I decided to look up at the two heroes to see a moment of their fierce battle; instead, what I saw made me sick to my core. They were still emoting. We minions were fighting for our lives in a desperate struggle for survival, and while they couldn't care in the slightest. I tightened my grip on my sword.
"Newbie, stop looking away!" The minion from before spoke.
I turned back to see the red minion rushing me. Just before he reached me, my fellow blue minion slashed at him, causing him to stutter for a moment and for his health bar to drop. Taking this opportunity, I stabbed straight at the red minion's head.
{Critical hit! 0.6 dmg dealt}
{Red Meele Minion Killed}
{0.1 Xp gained}
{0.1 Gold gained}
The red minion fell to the floor, its sword and shield still tightly held in its cold, dead hands.
The blue minion that saved me looked at me and spoke, "Get your head in the game, Newb-"
Before he could finish his words, a giant red ball slammed into the back of his head, and he fell dead to the floor.
Seeing this, I prepped my shield, prepared to block anything that came towards me. Instead of a flying red ball or even a sword approaching me, I noticed a shadow above me.
My anger from before seemed answered as Freya had stopped emoting and was about to slam her giant hammer straight on top of me.
"{Bleep}" was the only thing I could get out of my mouth before turning into minion mush.