It reeked worse than I remembered. The foul stench of poor rotten eggs with undertones of burnt vegetation was apparent even down here at the treeline. The taste in the humid air was even nastier. I expected that part. I had moons to cleanse my system from the smell, after I had gotten a bit used to it while squatting in the forest below, learning magic. Still, it didn’t make this attack on my senses any bit less awful.

Well, it seemed like I successfully retraced my steps back to the volcano in one piece. But really, that was the easy part. I’d have to have been more than a little distracted, careless or run into something new to be truly in any danger. The hard part still waited up top in the caldera.

At the moment though, I was still busy with experimenting to find the best way to protect myself from those noxious fumes.

I had increased the amount of water I could control at once by quite a bit, back when She was bugging me to copy ever-larger plants she found even a fleeting fancy with. Simply scaling them down wasn’t enough for Her after a while. She could be quite demanding if something caught her attention.

I smiled wryly. Or at least I think I did. I had no idea what my expression really looked like, with my amphibian face and all. And I wasn’t in the mood to make a water mirror. I always did that for Her, too.

It had been fun to indulge Her in her whims. Well, most of the time it had been anyways.

I let out a sigh. I couldn’t believe that She had already been gone for longer than I had known her to begin with. I still woke up sometimes, wondering where She wandered off to so early in the morning. Then my mind clears up and I feel guilty for forgetting even for a moment She wasn’t there anymore.

Previous me had similar experiences. I had seen it enough in my memories. But like with the ice and the self-doubt, it wasn’t the same to just watch some old recollections of what basically amounted to somebody else and going through it myself.

Grief was exhausting. I really wanted it to be over, but I also really didn’t want it to stop. It was so confusingly paradoxical.

Often, when I came across something I thought She would have found interesting, images of her, happily darting off to examine it, flashed through my mind. I always had to suppress the urge to huff in amusement first, then the dull ache in my chest settled back in.

I didn’t feel guilty. I mean, I went over it in my mind countless times. I did everything I could to stop Her after I noticed the boulder toad. But what if I’d just been more vigilant and noticed it before her? If we came up together with a definite unmistakable signal for danger beforehand? What if…?

Yeah, better not going down that particular rabbit hole again.

Memory really had chosen an opportune moment to get the drop on me with that dream. I should have been cross with her, should have argued more. Instead, I was a shocked and hurting meek little ball of nerves bawling my eyes out for the first and probably only time I actually could cry in this life.

Nevertheless, my goddess made her point. Either I did what she wanted or I could wait for a very, very long time before I could live a relatively peaceful life with somewhat sapient company. I already dreaded to be a mother of cannibalistic, instinct-driven spawn this time around. How could I go through that over and over again?

And I would at least try to be some resemblance of a mother. I already decided that. I had the mental capacity, so I had no excuse if I just followed the instincts of my species and let my offspring fight for themselves.

So here I was, at the foothills of the volcano, experimenting with water magic to protect me from the nauseating smoke.

I only was dragging my feet, really. The solution was pretty simple if I’d just quit trying to be fancy and got it over with. I knew I was a genius, but that didn’t mean everything I did had to be perfect.

The thing was: Since I could breathe pretty well through my skin, I really only needed to coat myself completely in all the water I could reasonably keep control off for an extended period of time. I didn’t absolutely have to carry my own air supply with me. It just would have been nice.

Well, if I didn’t figure it out on my long track back here, I wouldn’t make any meaningful progress in a short time now either. As I said, I only was dragging my feet.

I simply dreaded another encounter with the elementals. That was, what I decided to call them by the way. Elementals. ‘Elemental proto-spirit blobs attuned to fire and earth and who knew what else’ really didn’t sound very catchy to me. Could just have been me though.

Yeah, I know. I did it again. Went off on another tangent to stall a little bit longer before climbing up there. Let’s just get it over with.

I gathered a large bubble of water around me and - with an adequate amount of trepidation - started my second ascent of this seething death-trap of a mountain.

It should be superfluous to say, but rock climbing was way easier with four legs than it had been with three. I mean, it was blatantly obvious but still managed to catch me by surprise. It didn’t even take half as long as before.

Of course, I may or may not have cheated a bit with magic. Why would you crawl up a vertical wall if you were carrying around a potential pillar of water you could use to swim upwards?

You wouldn’t. Duh.

Unless you’d find out after the second time that it was exhausting you considerably more than crawling up the old fashioned way would have. That was another completely arbitrary tangent, of course, that obviously wasn’t based on experience.

Because I should easily have expected this outcome before I even tried it.

I was a genius after all.

Nobody saw, so there was no proof whatsoever. It. Did. Not. Happen.

Anyways, I reached the crater at the summit with… most of my water still with me. That was great because now I could enjoy watching it slowly evaporating away at the edges. At least that kept the remaining slowly shrinking bubble tolerable warm for the time being and not boiling hot. So… Yay?

It was midafternoon. If I was lucky, it would rain again in a few hours and I could replenish my little mobile reservoir. Preferably after avoiding to get involved in any potential conflicts between volcano and storm elementals.

The caldera was quiet. I could make out plenty of burned moss patches though. Considering how fast that stuff regrew, the spirits almost certainly had a lot of ‘fun’ again the night before.

I didn’t plan to go down to the lava lakes this time. I’d stay right up here at the edge for my next attempt at communication. If they reacted hostile to the water I would just leg it. There would be no stupid avoidable risks anymore, I vowed. Being roasted once was more than enough. This time, getting cooked for a bit should be the absolute worst possible outcome.

First though, I found a shallow pothole in the sheer rock a short walk away from the crater. There I could let go of all my water for a while without it seeping away into the ground. If I wanted to pull this off I had to rest my mind for a bit, recovering my focus. I submerged myself in my improvised pool and waited for the evening.

It did start to rain lightly. So far there were no signs of another storm tonight though. But I’d better not jinx it.

When I returned to my overlook the 3 elementals were up and about, already playing around with each other. What they were notably not doing, was building their abstract fortifications. So they probably didn’t expect a visit tonight either.

Since my sample size was only one stormy night though, I had honestly no idea how often the storm spirits came by. Or if it were ever the same ones twice. An interesting question, though. Maybe they were just travelling on and on without ever stopping for long or deciding on any kind of destination?

I was stalling again, wasn’t I?

Well, Here goes nothing?

I picked up a small rock and enveloped it in my water bubble. Now for the tricky part. I formed a tube-like protrusion, that went all the way from the farthest point of my control area behind me to the farthest point in front. Then I took aim, moved the rock to the back and accelerated it all the way through the tube, to fire it in the direction of the largest lava pool.

I missed.

But not by too far. I did practise this after all. Sadly the volcano spirits didn’t take notice of the tiny impact of my projectile. So I corrected my aim a bit to the right and up and fired again.

This time I hit. Not quite dead centre, but it produced a few pretty visible splashes.

The elementals noticed as well and turned their attention to where my rock had struck.

While they gathered in and around the lava lake I loaded three more rocks and - after another small correction - fired them in rapid succession.

This time, the proto-spirits saw where the projectiles came from. Well, one of them did. Another just fired a stream of fire in the general direction and the third one was busy, attentively observing the explosively evaporating moisture on the sinking stones.

I had the small suspicion that the quick shooter was the one who roasted me last time. It was still turning its body this way and that as if looking for me, while the watchful one already slowly moved in my direction. The third one ignored me completely and began to… dance(?) around in the rain instead, drawing more patterns in the moss carpet.

That suited me just fine. One at a time was more than enough.

I’d call them Vigil, Trigger and Dancer for the time being. At least if their behaviour turned out to stay consistent.

Completely enveloped in my water, I couldn’t exactly take a deep breath but I steeled myself, all the same, sharpening my intent, hoping that it would go better this time.

I started with separating some of my protective liquid shell and formed a little tableau of my last visit in front of me. There was a little three-legged scalamander, the lava pool I’d been standing in front of and of course a blob shooting a stream of water at the poor thing.

When I finished with the setup, Vigil was close enough that I felt the heat rising in the water around me. Immediately I formed a wall in front of it to indicate it to stop.

Stolen content warning: this tale belongs on Royal Road. Report any occurrences elsewhere.

Surprisingly, it actually did. I was glad that it rained though. Judging by the amount of liquid turning into steam, I would have run out very soon otherwise.

I lowered my wall, then used the freed-up volume to form a tentacle, pointing at the prepared scene in front of me. Then at the caldera below. Then at me. Then at the little tableau again.

The elemental followed with rapt attention.

To my dismay Trigger was also moving closer though. So I hurriedly proceed with playing out my little water puppet show.

I wiped the scene and started with only the lava ponds. One little blob emerged from the biggest, moving over to another one, throwing a rock into it to wake up the second blob sleeping inside. Indicating the little limping scalamander watching the scene.

Then the same little scalamander puppet copying the process, waking up one of the blobs, getting burned heavily in the process and fleeing the caldera.

So far so good. I really hoped they could remember. Memory had said something about long term memory being not one of the proto-spirits’ strong suits. And honestly? That worried me more than a little.

Trigger had almost reached us in the meantime. Suddenly Vigil produced a rock wall between the second elemental and us, stopping its approach in a similar fashion as I did before. Even the part where the wall was lowered a bit afterwards to still allow ‘eye’ contact. They didn’t have any visible eyes of course, but it was the gesture that counted, I guess?

Afterwards, it also formed a tentacle of lava, moving its tip as if it wanted to indicate something in my tableau. But when the appendage got too close to my construct the puppets just evaporated.

Hastily it retreated the artificial limb and then as if having an epiphany, Vigil cooled down considerably.

Not just the tentacle. It apparently lowered the temperature of its whole body. In the end, it had formed a solid skin of stone, interrupted by copious amounts of red gleaming cracks where the inner heat shone through. It gave its exterior the resemblance of very uneven and crude basalt-grey scales.

The raindrops were constantly fizzling away with little hissing sounds when they hit the elemental’s newly formed solid surface.

Vigil didn’t pay them any heed and instead moved its tentacle to point at my reformed puppet play again. It indicated the leg stump of the scalamander model, then formed a second tentacle that moved a little closer to my real body, pointing at my regrown left hindleg.

Was it asking how I regrew it? Or how long it took? Or maybe if I was a different creature than the one in the model altogether? I was not sure, so I decided to just play out a quick little time-lapse replay.

That small endeavour turned out to not be quick in the slightest, but a lengthy process of stop and go. Trigger had left at some point, probably bored by the frequent interruptions, since Vigil seemed to be very interested in the smallest details and indicated such by pointing insistently whenever something caught its fancy…

Just like Her. I thought and nearly lost focus, the scene, depicting the tiny scalamander with a half regrown leg eating mushrooms, wavering slightly.

The elemental noticed instantly. It must have thought I was getting tired because in response it began to form a small tableau of its own out of molten rock.

I recognized a depiction of me and the three proto-spirits. They stood together in the beginning, then parted ways. The little scalamander was leaving and the blobs were entering the lava pools. A big rock… the sun? … was moving over the scene in a wide arch. Then the elementals left the pools again and my depiction returned.

The whole sequence of events repeated several times, before Vigil pointed at it, then at me and at the caldera around us.

Did it ask me to return here every evening? At least I thought so. I really didn’t want to climb up and down the volcano that often. And even if I technically could breathe my water through my skin, I really wanted to breathe some air from time to time.

Up here though, with all the noxious smoke, I didn’t dare if I had the choice.

So I answered the question with a new scene of the elementals leaving the crater and descending the mountain, following the little scalamander into the foothills.

That seemed to confuse Vigil at first. Once it got the intent though, it perked up in apparent excitement, repeating my scene in 5 separate tableaus simultaneously. I guess that meant yes?

As I carefully made my way down the mountain in the dark, I replayed the whole encounter in my mind. As far as communication went that went far better than I ever dared to hope. If I just omitted the first attempt, that would make a wonderful proof of my genius for future retellings of my life.

‘Mighty Water Mage and Diplomat extraordinaire!’

That sounded about right. Right? I’d really need a proper name though. Something derived from wisdom or intelligence. Athena or Sofia or something. That would be so awesome.

Well, I’d just had to make one up when I was able to tell the story for the first time. Whenever that would be… and whoever I would be by then.

In the end, we had agreed that I would return two nights later. Vigil apparently wanted to discuss with Trigger and Dancer if they wanted to follow me as well or not. And I wanted a chance to eat my fill and sleep in peace, which I hardly could do up there at the summit of an active volcano. I was lucky enough that the treeline wasn’t all the way down at its foot. So going up and down didn’t quite take forever.

That meant, I had more than a day to prepare for our next encounter. The first thing I needed to do was teaching them a faster way to convey meaning than playing everything out in a puppet show. That might have been good practice and probably pretty and entertaining, but it also took ages to convey the most basic of things.

It looked like I had to revive the pictogram project.

I honestly was quite excited about conversing with somebody on a daily basis again. I had to be careful not to get too happy about it quite yet though. First I had to make sure they could even survive down here. Then I couldn’t be certain, if they were always as calm as today or if they would burn down the forest around me at the slightest sign of provocation.

But I guess I had time to be thorough, hadn’t I? A few years until sexual maturity? I opened my profile to take a look at what it said about my current age.

Species: Scalamander

  Breed: n/a

  Sex: female

  Age: 371 days

Designation: Sweetie

  Aliases: Pesky Rascal, Precious

  Titles: none

Occupation: Vagabond

Blessings: Champion of Memory

Traits: none

Affinities: Water (weak)

    Earth (traces)

Proficiencies: Swimming (basic)

      Hiking (novice)

      Energy Absorption (basic)

      Ambient Energy Manipulation (novice)

Quests: Fire-Scalamander

Notes:    Dear Memory,

      don’t forget my pie!

      Pretty please?

371 days? I didn’t know what to make of that information. Was this more than a year? Probably not. Previous me knew that days were supposed to be shorter in prehistoric times, but I had no idea how many days per year that would amount to right now.

I did notice that it rained less lately and genuine storms had become increasingly rare. So we probably weren’t too far off of the next rainless period like the one that had followed my spawning.

Apart from that, I hadn’t been aware of any kind of discernable seasons. It was always humid and hot. Even when it didn’t rain for a while.

When I glanced over the rest of my profile, I noticed no changes since the last time I checked a moon or so ago. My new official designation still had me grumbling and gritting my teeth. And the new alias still made me want to laugh and cry at the same time. Gods damn it…

Wait! My Hiking went up to novice. That was… okay? It didn’t really change anything. Sadly, proficiencies were very much descriptive only, as far as I could tell. No sudden increases in ability once meeting an arbitrary threshold to find here. Move along, please…

Anyways, I was back in the forest. Time for a late-night all you can eat bug buffet.

When I returned to the mountain top, only Vigil and Trigger wanted to come with me. Dancer was perfectly happy to just… do its own thing up here, I guess. Which was fine. I’d honestly have prefered it if Trigger stayed behind as well. As it stood, I saw countless accidental wildfires in my future whenever it got startled. Hopefully, all the cooked food would make up for it.

It did, actually. Soon enough I could enjoy all the cooked crayfish, roasted toad, grilled locusts and steamed fish, I’d ever wanted. Even the baked mushrooms were a huge improvement over their bland raw state.

It also turned out that the volcano elementals were perfectly able to douse their own flames if they so desired. They often had to, after one playful bout or another that destroyed a bit more of their surroundings than initially agreed upon. Well, at least I hoped they really were ‘unintentional infernos’.

Vigil was an apt student of my ever-expanding pictogram language and we were able to have surprisingly complex and interesting conversations after only a few moons passed.

Trigger on the other hand… I really would like to say it always tried its best, but the truth was that it got bored quickly and prefered to play around burning things and exploring the swampy forest. Ideally both at the same time.

At one point Vigil started to imitate the form of a scalamander. When Trigger noticed the newfound agility and speed that form provided in their frequent bouts, it followed suit and they both pretty much stuck with it afterwards.

I appreciated the improved expressiveness the most. It had always been so difficult to interpret the feelings of an amorphous blob.

Nevertheless, I still was extremely jealous of their ability to just make their thumbs completely opposable whenever they needed. I couldn’t really copy that with my always liquid water magic. And I didn’t have any further success with figuring out earth magic, even after a whole year had passed.

I did get to meet other proto-spirits however. It turned out I really did just not notice them before. They blended into their environment completely whenever they weren’t active.

So it was quite the surprise for me when a small stream we came across suddenly rose up from the ground to defend its territory against the opposing elemental intruders.

After I calmed it down, ‘Ripple’ turned out to be quite reasonable though. It even helped me a little bit, showing me how to improve the pressure of my water cutter spells, before happily sending us off on our voyage through the never-ending swamp.

Even so, we didn’t try to travel to the sea after that. I wasn’t confident yet, to be able to deflect an ocean elemental’s enraged attacks long enough to attempt to make introductions or even just flee.

On the other hand, Trigger and Vigil hit it off quite well with the earth spirits we came across. Most of them were somewhat lethargic though. Too much so for my easily bored companions, it turned out. And so we always moved on relatively soon. Onwards, toward the next encounter, the next adventure!

Nearly two years passed this way. A small group of three scalamanders roaming around with no destination, looking for something exciting to do. One ember-red with black dots all over and stripes along her side, one basalt-grey with orange glowing cracks between its scales, and one glowing like red-hot iron, constantly singeing everything it touched or stepped on.

We had a lot of fun together. Most of it was very much destructive in nature, but it was fun to me all the same.

Eating my first charred piece of boulder toad was strangely satisfying, while also making me feel a little bit empty inside…

Anyways, all in all, it was one long jolly journey.

Until the day arrived, on which I felt the strong urge to go somewhere when I woke up in the morning. Like an inner compass, it pointed into a specific direction. It was close to the beginning of the next ‘dry’ period.

I had anticipated that moment, more than once asking myself how I would know when the time had come.

It seemed that was it.

I guess I’d find out all about the ‘mating habits of my current species’ very soon.