Inaki found himself floating in the black void, as if he had immersed himself in the Dreamspring. He knew he wasn’t there because he could vaguely remember falling. He remembered his body as it began seizing and he remembered hitting his head.

The infinite blackness began taking shape, slowly coalescing into a vision. Inaki found himself in front of the gates to Yaroka castle. The guards in front of him, his wooden sword in hand. Inaki stood there staring as Taral stepped out.

"Was it worth it?" Taral said. "Do you feel your honor rise?"

Inaki stood silent.

"You are now well known all over. The boy who hadn’t even gotten his metal blade, who fought a Sage and lived to tell the tale. Was the honor and the reputation worth it?"

Taral stepped forward and grabbed Inakis right arm. He then cut it off in one strike. Inaki screamed. Taral grabbed Inaki's other hand and slashed. Inaki heard his arms fall to the ground.

"At least now you will have to give up the sword," Taral said, walking away. Not into the gates of the castle, but in the other direction.

Inaki woke up with a start. He looked and saw that his hands were still there.

Was it worth it?

Inaki couldn't answer that question. But as he stared at his arms, the arms which once swung the sword with unrivaled grace—which was now all lost—he knew the answer within. But he couldn't say it. It would break him.

"You're awake," Hassai said, leaping into an embrace. Inaki held his father and tried his best not to cry. He was able to hold back his tears this time.

"He has the tremor disease," the monk said. "Show me your hand."

Inaki held his hand in front of him and saw that it wouldn't stop shaking. He focused his mind on his hand and regardless of how hard he focused it wouldn't still. Last week his problem had been being unable to move, and now his problem was that his hand was moving without him wanting it to. The irony was painful to Inaki.

"Because of your injury, during moments of stress your body will now seize," the monk said. "Even if you are able, you should give up the sword. It's the only way for you to survive."

The monk walked away, leaving Inaki holding his knees to his chest on the bed. Hassai stood there, a sympathetic look in his eyes.

"I am sorry," Inaki said. "I am such a disappointment. I wish you didn't have to have someone like me as your son."

"Don't talk nonsense," Hassai said. "I love you my son, not your skill in the sword. It is okay if you give up the sword."

At that moment Hassai did not say the words that Inaki desperately wanted to hear. The words that Inaki had wanted were, "We will train and you will swing the sword with double the grace that you used to." But instead, Hassai put the nail in the coffin of Inaki's dreams.

Was it worth it?

The two of them walked home as they did, Hassai said, "I am canceling your duel with Gero-son-Jotar Heoin I will mention that you are still recovering from your battle at Yaroka castle."

"No father," Inaki said. "I'll fight him. I defeated two Golds and a Diamond then fought a Platinum who became a Sage in the middle of our fight. I can fight one Iron."

"Can you?" Hassai asked.

Inaki couldn’t speak. He couldn’t reassure his father that he would defeat even an Iron. I trained myself to fight toe-to-toe with a Platinum. I can do the same for an Iron. Right?

Once they reached the Tomoka castle, through the training hall they saw that Gonten was still practicing. Inaki couldn’t help but feel a bitter disappointment in himself, when he saw his brother who used to not even compare, use the blade better than him.

“Oh you’re back,” Gonten said. He sheathed his sword and raised the empty right sleeve of his robes and waved a hello. “How are you feeling brother?”

“Good,” Inaki said, stalking away. He slid the door of the training hall shut, looking at Hassai and Gonten train with smiles on their faces as the door slammed.

Just before Inaki was about to walk away, Hassai opened the door and walked out.

“Let me walk you to your room, son,” Hassai said. The two of them walked through the empty hallways of the castle together. At first they were silent, but then Hassai said, “You don’t need to push yourself son. We can get you educated with the monks, and you can become one of the bureaucrats in the government.”

“It was you who wrote ‘the world only those who can offer something nobody else can.’ I can’t offer anything to the world as a bureaucrat,” Inaki said. He then realized his impolite tone and said, “I apologize for my tone.”

“You don’t need to apologize,” Hassai said, looking down. “I must have announced it before you came back.”

“What,” Inaki said.

“I am burning all my old writings,” Hassai said. “A great man taught me that all my old beliefs were errors.”

“What do you mean,” Inaki said, stopping in his tracks. “What idiot convinced you of this all? Is anyone who doesn’t achieve something no one else can, ever remembered throughout the times. Does anyone who doesn’t achieve something no one else can spend his days in luxury. I am not going to be one of those people who walks with his head low through the day, trying to just live.”

“You are a Sage’s son. Your life will always be in luxury. About the man who brought this change. Takehito,” Hassai said. “It was Takehito. I’ll tell you the story of my Pilgrimage someday. I’ll probably begin writing a book about it. I have to replace all my old writings, don’t I?”

“You still haven’t answered my question,” Inaki said, forgetting his manners. “Takehito might be the greatest sword-master in the world, but he’s just a monk, wasting his talents.”

“Don’t say that about that man,” Hassai said. “I can answer you, but you won’t like my answer.”

“Please, tell me,” Inaki said.

“You don’t have to do all those things. You don’t have to be remembered, you don’t have to work hard for luxury. You don’t have to achieve something to hold your head up high.”

Inaki stood there silent.

“I told you that you wouldn’t like my answer,” Hassai said. “Anyways, I’ll talk to the monks, and get your lessons started soon.”

“No,” Inaki said. “Give me a chance, at least till the next exams.”

“This isn’t about your ability, Inaki,” Hassai said. “This is about your health.”

“What about my health,” Inaki said.

“You heard the monk. You have a tremor now. If you get too much stress you seize. It is not your fault, but I love you too much to let you continue this violent art.”

“Please,” Inaki said.

“This is not a decision I am taking lightly,” Hassai said. “I am making this decision for you.”

Inaki continued walking forward, and Hassai followed him. Inaki tried to run forward, he began running as fast as he could, but he felt his own legs give way and he hit the ground. Inaki stood back up and Hassai held him up.

“Son,” Hassai said. “This doesn’t have to be a permanent decision. Just until you recover. Like how it took you a week to start walking again.”

Hassai led Inaki the rest of the way towards his room, and laid him onto his bed. “I’ll call a servant to get you some calming tea, get some rest.”

Inaki sat in his bed, and stared up to the ceiling.

“Father,” Inaki said, as Hassai was about to leave the room.

“Yes,” Hassai said.

“Please don’t cancel my duel with Gero,” Inaki said.

If you stumble upon this narrative on Amazon, be aware that it has been stolen from Royal Road. Please report it.

“Fine, but practice swords only,” Hassai said. “And the duel will be based on points, not submission or death.”

“Father, are you going to announce to the world that your son is dead,” Inaki said.

“I’ve been lenient because I’ve done some bad things, but watch your tone, son. I will not bend on this. Now wait for your tea, drink it and rest.”

“Yes Father,” Inaki said.

“You are not your ability in the sword, you are very much still alive” Hasai said, closing Inaki’s door.

Inaki stared at the door for a few minutes, then looked at a wooden sword in his room. Had I kept this here. Inaki didn’t remember. He picked up the sword and held it in his hand.

Just a few days ago, the sword had felt like an extension of his arm. He had felt like he could make it do nearly whatever he wanted it to like it was a part of him. But now it felt foreign to him. Not because the sword was no longer a part of him, no, because his entire body felt foreign to him now.

As he held the sword in his hand, he looked at his shaking hands. He held his hardest but more tears flowed through his eyes. I’ve cried more in the last few days, than I have cried in my entire life.

A knock came on the door, and Inaki startled, and he dropped his sword. He felt even more pathetic as he said, “Come in.”

It was Gonten, holding his tea.

Inaki took the tea and said, “I am going to go to sleep now.” Trying to imply that he wanted Gonten to leave. Gonten did not get the implication and said, “I’ll sit here while you’re drinking your tea.”

“Fine,” Inaki said, accepting the cup. The cup shook in his trembling hands. Boiling tea spilled onto his clothes as Inaki tried to command his hand to stop shaking, but the more he tried the more his hands shook. Inaki moved his lips to the cup like an old man and took a sip, and felt it calm him. As he calmed, the tremor calmed too. Inaki then downed the entire cup of tea without a care for how hot it was. His tongue scalded, but the tea calmed him down.

“What is this tea,” Inaki said. He stared at his hands, and the tremor slowed down a lot. His hand went from shaking to only gently twitching.

“Takehito had sent this out after we left,” Gonten said. “The servant delivered it today.”

“So, what is it,” Inaki asked.

“It’s a tea made of one of the flowers we grew in Yaroka,” Gonten said, smiling. “He sent some seeds too for us to plant.”

“I don’t think you’ll become just an Iron during the next exam,” Inaki said.

“What do you mean,” Gonten said. “Most people spend their entire lives going from Iron to Silver, I haven’t even reached Iron yet.”

“You’re not most people,” Inaki said, biting back his ego because of how good his brother had become in such a short time, “You’re the son of Hassai.”

“Thank you brother,” Gonten said.

“I’m done with my tea,” Inaki said.

“I’ll take my leave then,” Gonten said. He left and shut the door behind him. Inaki then melted into his bed, the tea giving even more of a kick. And he fell asleep.

“Happy birthday,” Hassai screamed standing over Inaki.

“It is?” Inaki said, blinking at the light of the various lamps.

“You forgot your own birthday,” Gonten said. “What kind of person are you?”

“I don’t know,” Inaki said sitting up. In his stuffy small room, he saw Gonten, Hassai and Ivanta standing there.

“The others wanted to come in, but they couldn’t fit,” Hassai said. “We really should assign you a bigger room.”

“I chose this one myself,” Inaki said. “So I spend as little time in my room, so I can make sure I spend most of my day training.” Inaki’s face went grim. But he looked up, feigned the happiest look he could—which did not include a smile—and said, “Time to light the lamps.”

“Oh it's my son’s twentieth birthday,” Hassai said, “You’ve become a man, we’re not just lighting lamps, come on.”

The three of his family members led Inaki through the corridors. His family looked more happy about his birthday than he did, but all Inaki could think about was the sword. His mind constantly hovered back to him not being able to do the kata.

The corridor opened up into the main entrance hall of the Tomoka castle, they ran up the stairs and soon Inaki found himself in the party hall of the Tomoka castle.

In the room, it seemed like the party had been going on for some time.

“Ladies and Gentlemen,” Hassai said. “The newly made man is here.”

Everyone cheered as Inaki walked forward. Inaki was still wearing his swordsman’s robes that he fell asleep in, his long hair was unkempt, but people still cheered for him. But Inaki knew it wasn’t for him, it was for his name.

Inaki began tying his hair as he stepped forward, Hassai led him forward to a table, where he found a man who looked like him in his unkemptness. He was wearing black soiled robes and his face was covered in dirt.

“How was the tea,” Takehito said smiling.

“Thank you,” Inaki said. “But I thought you were in Gael?”

“Oh, I got a letter from the Gael, that they didn’t need my services for now, and that I should come next month,” Takehito said. “So I thought I’d spend that time here, readying Gonten for the exam.”

“Yeah,” Gonten said. “When I said that the tea was delivered, I didn’t tell you that Takehito had come here himself,” Gonten said. “I thought I’d surprise you.”

“Thank you,” Inaki said with a bitter tone.

“I wish I had had the opportunity to introduce you to my master,” Hassai said. “But you both have already met him.”

Inaki stepped forward and whispered to Takehito, “You’re the reason why my father wants me to give up the sword?”

“No,” Takehito said loudly, “I am the reason why your father survived his pilgrimage.”

“Oh don’t mind him,” Hassai said. “He’s going through a rough time, he’ll recover.”

They stood in silence for a few minutes until Takehito said, “Can I go get washed up?”

“Sure,” Hassai said.

“Thank you, don’t start lighting the lamps before I come,” Takehito said, running away.

A horde of Tomoka children began circling around Inaki, screaming to hear about Inaki’s raid on the Yaroka castle. Inaki began telling them the story as is, but then Gonten stepped in, and began exaggerating the story.

“Inaki stepped in, and was greeted by an army of Silvers and Golds, he then slaughtered them as if they were nothing. He slashed through their army to the point that they had to let loose their Diamond at him,” Gonten said.

“Then what happened,” The kids said, with a twinkle in their eyes.

“Oh then, Inaki defeated the Diamond in a single strike, and fought against Taral when he was a Platinum, and nearly defeated,” Gonten said.

“Did he defeat him,” The children asked.

“No, because Taral did the unexpected. He began glowing, and stood up, his wounds sealing shut. He ascended to sage,” Gonten said.

“Then what happened,” The children asked again.

“Well, I think Inaki can tell the rest of his story,” Gonten said, smiling at his brother.

“He beat the shit out of me,” Inaki said. “He then spared my life because—“

“He spared his life because he respected Inaki as a swordsman, and wanted to see him when he became an even greater swordsman,” Gonten said. “Inaki will fight him again, and will defeat him this time.”

“Thank you, Gonten,” Inaki said.

“Your welcome brother,” Gonten said. “I’m going to eat some of the delicious chicken fry, want me to get you some?”

“Yes actually,” Inaki said.

“Sir, can you train us,” The children asked.

“Oh no, I am not even a swordsman yet,” Inaki said. “Go ask Gonten, he left this part out of the story, but when Taral became Sage, he incapacitated me and I needed time, and he fought him, and that is the reason he lost his arm.”

“Oh,” The children said.

“What did you think?” Inaki looked into the crowd of children.

“Umm,” One of the children said. “We thought that the overgrown woody cut his own arm while training.”

The kids laughed. “Quiet,” Inaki shouted. “Gonten will become a Silver during the next exam. Mock him now, but soon you’ll be begging him.”

Inaki stepped away from the children. One of the perks of becoming an adult was that he was allowed to drown himself in liquor now. Inaki stepped to the table where a servant was standing and pouring drinks.

“Wow, you’re ready the minute you were allowed,” The servant said.

“Pour me the strongest drink you have.”

“You sure you want that,” The man said.

“Yes,” Inaki said.

The man poured the drink, and looked like he was holding in a laugh as he passed it to Inaki.

“Enjoy,” The servant said.

Inaki took a sip and regretted everything. After just a single sip he ended up throwing up.

“Woah, Woah,” Hassai said, running up as he saw Inaki throwing up into the mug of liquor. “You can’t get drunk before we light the lamps. Once that’s done I’ll tell you what to drink.”

“Sorry,” Inaki said, still spitting out some of the alcohol.

Inaki stood up, and looked at the festivities around him, all in his name, and realized that though this was all for him, he felt none of the happiness.

They went to the balcony and began the tradition of lighting the lamps. Inaki held the torch, and Hassai held up the gas lamps. Inaki lit the lamp and it began inflating and Hassai released it letting it flow into the sky.

With each lamp people cheered louder and louder, yet Inaki struggled with feeling anything. Inaki lit the twentieth lamp, and let it go into the sky, and everyone clapped.

Inaki saw all the joy around him and felt like crying, because he couldn’t feel any of it. All his mind could think of was the bloody sword, and how he was now a failure.

“Come on son, time to go mix you a proper drink,” Hassai said.

Hassai tried his best through the entire day, mixing him drinks, making him dance—which just made him feel more awkward because of his tremor. Then Hassai took Inaki to one of those places where the women dance in barely any clothing, and Inaki just felt awkward over there.

Hassai tried everything, and seeing that his father couldn’t cheer him up regardless of how much he tried, Inaki felt even worse about himself.

“I am so sorry son,” Hassai said, as he led Inaki to his bed. “I wish I knew what would help you.”

“It’s not your fault, father,” Inaki said. “I am just a broken man.”

Inaki drank the tea made by Takehito and went to sleep, not knowing what he was going to do for the rest of his life.