“Well, after that I feel absolutely drained,” I said softly. Sullivan grunted. “Of course you do, you just fought a beast at a higher level of proficiency than you, fought it to a tie, and nearly died! Regardless, it’s fine to head back to the residence. Elivia should not mind.”

The walk back was quiet, quieter even than when we had journeyed in. Which was strange of course, how would the forest have gotten quieter? It was also darker, the bright blue of the suns’ rays dwindling as darkness slowly grew to encompass the thick forest around us. Something wasn’t right…

I pricked my ears up, but I did not look around. I made no sudden movements, nor did I stop. I kept walking.

“Something is watching us.” Sullivan finally said, noticing my weariness. I said nothing in response, not so much as a grunt of affirmation. It might be recognised as my knowledge of their following. I would not let them be prepared for my next move, if they believed they had the element of surprise they were sorely mistaken.

Curiously however, as I left the forest the feeling of watch was gone, and after another few minutes of silent walking the residence came into view once more. I let out a small breath I did not know I had been holding. “It seems they were not hostile.” Sullivan said, his voice dripping with intrigue. I shook my head lightly before curtly responding, “Perhaps.” There was a good chance they were not also.

As I reached for the handle of the door it swung open before I could reach it, and two big brown eyes stared at me through the entryway. “What took you so long? Has Sullivan bid you go hunting?” The young woman asked, practically barraging me with questions faster than the wind blows. “I was hunting a Wilde Dere,” I said without hesitation. I had no reason to lie, and if there was anyone I didn’t trust out of who I had met so far, it was Sullivan. As helpful as the Fae was, he was also dangerous. He withheld information, and definitely has his own agenda.

“A Wilde Dere!?” Elivia gasped with pure shock, horror crossing over every inch of her features before a scowl settled in. “SULLIVAN! YOU COME OUT RIGHT NOW!” She screamed in defiance. Sullivan said nothing, and did nothing. Slowly Elivia calmed herself down, following an incredibly large amount of cursing, before turning back to me with the best smile she could reach. “Sorry about that.” She said, gesturing for me to come in.

“You must be exhausted, and that probably wasn’t particularly nice to be greeted with.” She shot a glare my way, but I knew it was not aimed at me, rather the Fae that was scared stiff within my chest. “I understand. It’s fine.” I waved her off, but she shook her head. “Take a seat, I will prepare a meal. You must be exhausted.” She said, lifting her hand upwards in a strange gesture, I cocked my head to the side before noticing a chair in the living room that had not been there moments earlier. Raising a brow I took a seat, too tired to argue or directly question the sudden addition of furniture.

“I am not mad at you hunting creatures,” Elivia began, and this time I knew the conversation was as much for me as it was for Sullivan, “But the Fyne Forest is no place for anyone to travel, especially not someone as new to the world as yourself.” Eliva concluded, bringing a knife to bear as she skillfully sliced into the ingredients before her, a precision greater than even the Fae had shown, if not a little intimidating. I could practically hear the Fae gulp with his non-existent throat.

“As much as I am grateful for the advice, and for certain, your help,” I began, my approach kind in hopes to soften the blow, “But I am quite capable. In my past life I was more than a warrior, I was a veteran. I know what I can and cannot handle. I am by all means grateful for your help, however-” I was cut off by the slam of the knife as a final piece of curious looking beef was sliced into two.

“Yet it is your first time in this world.” She said quietly, the warning evident in her low tone. “Do not rush off like those before you, like those that bastard encouraged.” Elivia said no more, and we sat in an awkward silence only disturbed by the sizzling of a meat over fire. Slowly as I let my thoughts wash over me, I considered magic. Was it elemental? Probably not, anyone could do anything with magic, though some tasks were likely more taxing than others. That begs the question…

“Does it get easier?” I asked, Elivia looking up from her cooking as though snapping out of a trance. “What?” She asked, not that she hadn’t heard me, I assumed it was for clarity. “Magic, does it get easier to do things with it the more you do them? Like using muscles.” I concluded. Elivia looked up for a moment before shaking her head. “Not really.”

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“Magic can become less taxing to perform physically the more you use it in a particular way, so in that respect it’s kind of like a muscle. But the more you become good at doing one thing, the harder it is to do another.” Elivia explained. I tried my best to understand what she was saying. “So if I become particularly good at forming a weapon, is it harder to create another weapon? Or do you mean that in the respect of the kind of action you perform, like if I were to make a physical object, it would be easier to make all kinds of physical objects.”

Elivia nodded, “The latter. Depending on what kind of thing you do, that kind of thing is easier to do the more you do it. Take fire for example,” Elivia said, raising her hand as she did so and calling on magic, the resulting fire strong but small, like a blowtorch. “The more I use magic to create fire, the more powerful that fire becomes, and the easier it becomes to create and control it.” Elivia continued, waving her hand through the air as she did so, the fire dancing and swaying in her palm as though reacting playfully to her movements.

“But in turn, it becomes harder to do something that is different, or opposes that. Additionally, you can be broader and still achieve better overall control. For example, if you practiced fire, water, earth, and air magics all together, they all have principles that can carry over to each other, and as such you can practice each and get better at all, even if it might take longer.” Elivia said, suffocating the flame with a splash of water before drying her hand with a burst of air and raising two handles to rest my arms on along the side of the chair.

“But it will be even harder to learn anything else after that. Body enhancement is more complicated, but that’s the most important thing to know.” Elivia said before turning back to the now slightly blackened meat and cursing under her breath. “Sorry, I suppose I got a little carried away.” Elivia gave a wry smile before sprinkling some strange garnish on the meat, either originally intended or as an attempt at remedying the burnt meat, I did not know.

I whispered a word of thanks before I dug into the meal, and the earlier silence settled back in, though a little less awkward this time. I thought about my next words carefully as I swallowed the last piece of the tender meat, it definitely wasn’t particularly juicy. Though there was less blood this time.

“So I train… what then? What do I do from there?” I asked, unsure entirely myself. I still wasn’t sure if I wanted to live this life, if it was worth it to keep going. Then again, I was unsure in my past life as well, but I could never bring myself to do it… deep down, I knew I still couldn’t. Still can’t. I knew that I had hoped if I took enough lives, perhaps I would hate myself enough to do it. That-

“You don’t have to do anything from here. You don’t have to do anything at all. You could just live.” Elivia said quietly, the offer kind and selfless. For a moment I sat, my thoughts derailed, unable to come up with a response. And I considered it. I could be free… to simply live in peace? Was that not what I had wanted? Was that not what I had hoped for in the void that had graced me so temporarily? To be finished?

No. The thought was small, insignificant even, but then it sounded again. No. That’s not what I want. I didn’t want to, as satisfying as it felt in my mind, I realized that I would grow bored. It would not be enough to simply sit, not for what I could only assume to be the next 60 or so years of living. I would either need to work for it, or rest after death. The thought surprised me, but it did not surprise the girl in front of me.

“No.” I said, but she just looked at me for a moment, as though asking if I was sure this was what I wanted, before shaking her head and letting out a sigh. “Alright, I can’t stop you, but what will you do instead?” She asked. We sat for a moment before she slowly raised her eyebrow. “You don’t know, do you?” She said, more matter of factly than if she had been asking a question. Then she did something peculiar before I could even open my mouth, she let out a laugh. A small sad laugh as she shook her head and looked to the heavens.

“You know, you are the first one to say that.” She said, turning her gaze back to me, a little softer than before. I stayed silent, encouraging her to continue, “Out of everyone that’s come to this house, all of them have said no. But not one has said they don’t know what they want to do.” Her eyes glaze over for a moment, and I see the conflict in her, but she leans back and her eyes light up once more. “Perhaps it is a sign. If you want to find something, or do something, you won’t find it here. Sullivan will take you to the elven council should he wish to, perhaps for a time I will finally be free of the bastard.” Elivia said, and though I could not be sure, I thought her tone sounded wistful. As though rather than wanting him gone, she would miss the Fae in some small way. It was not my business to pry.

“I wish to stay the night, if you would be so kind. I would leave in the morning.” I said, trying my best not to interfere with the somber tone that had settled on the room. “Of course, the guest room is all yours,” Elivia said, and gestured me to my room. As I lay down on the bed I was left with a thought, the kind I had never had before. Or perhaps, had simply forgotten ever having.

What will I do tomorrow?