Enid had become so accustomed to the sphere of light with its various concentric circles that flashed around itself that she barely looked in its direction anymore. It had been with her since they left the Israelites. It had said nothing to her for the entire journey. It had also done nothing besides float with her like it was the will-o-wisp. She looked ahead to the village of Zipporah, it was quiet, of course it was, it was three hours past sundown. They would be sleeping. They had been travelling slower because of her, Hazel and Hollipah’s sleeping in hadn’t helped matters. She pondered why God would send her with Zipporah and her children if she was just going to slow them down. She heard the angel’s voice again, or felt it rather.

“The journey was the goal.”

Enid would have jumped, had she the energy. She had never fully recovered from drawing the staff into existence and parting the Red Sea. She had kept her face covered because the blue veins had spread and could be seen peaking out from under her hair. She would gather enough strength to make the days walk, but by the end of it she was always exhausted. In truth it was Zipporah and her kin that had been guarding her. She went to speak but her voice was weak from disuse and exhaustion so nothing came out. The ball of light flashed briefly.

“We need not speak as mortals, sister.”

Enid nodded and kept putting one foot in front of the other leaning heavily on the walking stick she’d had Hazel gather. She thought her words.

“Why are you here?”

“Because you need me, sister.”

“Need you? You’ve just floated there silently this whole time.”

“Ready for when you would need me.”

“I don’t need you, go lure some unsuspecting idiot into the forest.”

“I will not be pushed away, as you have done too so many before.”

“If I wanted to talk to someone I would talk to someone.”

“Sister, what you want is of little consequence, it is what you need that I am here for.”

“You are a glorified ball of light. Why not show yourself to the others?”

“They see me as something innocuous. You know we exist in more dimensions than they can perceive, sister. The mortals’ minds cannot handle it for long.”

“I still fail to see your reason for being here. You have done nothing.”

“My reason is being here. I will not leave you until you are ready, sister.”

“I am not your sister god damnit. I’m a human, who turned into a vampire, who got stuck like this…half thing. Why must you all insist I am one of you?”

“You are all not like us sister, you are everything.”

“What is your name anyway?”

“I am Artiya’il.”

“That means nothing to me.”

“It would not, you have not studied the human religion that references me, nor am I one of the greatest of the host. My purpose is of little consequence in the grand scheme of our Father’s creation. But to you in this dark place you find yourself in, my purpose is everything.”

“So, God did not send you to me?”

“I was sent to you at the Red Sea. I was in the mortal realm as I have always been fulfilling my purpose when he spoke to me and told me of your plight. He bid me help you cross the Sea. He has never spoken to me before, so I decided you must be important. Then I spoke the words he gave me to give you. Then it became clear. You are my sister. Then I saw the weight on your heart and soul. So though his mission for me had been completed I saw that my purpose had not been fulfilled.”

“What is your purpose Artiya’il?”

“To console the grieving and lead them out of the darkness of despair back into Father’s light. I am the light in the darkness of mortal souls leading them back towards the people around them.”

“Your light isn’t needed here, find someone who needs you.”

“Sister, it is you who needs me. Your heart is heavy. Your soul is burdened. Your mind is clouded.”

Enid shook her head. As the group stopped and started to set up a camp just outside the village to avoid waking it she sat on a blanket Hazel had spread for her. The group had stopped expecting to aid with the camp, instead allowing her to rest and putting up the tent she shared with Zipporah. She watched them work. Artiya’il floated beside her.

“My niece has the hair of an Archangel. And the soul of one. She has spent the journey resenting Hollipah, yet last night she spent half of it with her just talking and watching her holo-tablet.”

Enid’s grip tightened around her walking staff that was leaning on one of her thighs and shoulders. Then her fingers relaxed. She was about to scold Hazel for her carelessness but then decided it was too much effort and looked down to the grass at her feet.

“She breaks your rules, and you do not punish her?”

Enid looked to the ball of light.

“I am tired, and I am done caring.”

“Truly sister?”

“What do you care? If it bothers you go yell at her.”

“It does not bother me. The child of Moses will not share what she learned. She fears the Lord’s wrath as much as she cannot resist her insatiable curiosity, she fears if she speaks of it, then the Lord may make her forget, or that he may keep secrets from her in the future.”

“So, you can just read everyone’s mind?”

“That is not what we are discussing sister, we are discussing that you who cares so deeply for your children are not correcting behavior you believe is wrong. You have lost one child. One remains here, with you, by her own choice. She believes you need her, you know you do need her. She grieves from her sister, but she also pines for her distant love, for her friends, and for her living sisters. She even misses her Aunt who seeks to punish her for helping you. Mostly she worries about you.”

“It’s not her job to worry about me, it’s not anyone’s job. I’m the mother, I’m the Empress. It is not your job either.”

“Sister, it is the responsibility of every being in creation to care about their fellow beings.”

“If I yell at her, will you shut up? Is that what you want me to do? Punish her?”

“No. In my eyes, my niece has done no wrong. She seeks connection with the people around her, she has so much to grieve for, as does her friend. So, she shares what she cares about with her. I would encourage her if I was fulfilling my purpose with her. She is strong and refuses to let her sadness keep her from building connections, she knows this new friend will be out of her life when she returns to her new home, but she believes the memories are worth loss, as she always has. She comforts Hollipah who is missing her father with the things that comfort herself.”

“All so Hollipah can despair when she is forced to leave?”

“Hollipah understands that her temporal friendship with Hazel is transitory. But through her time with Hazel she has come to realize the lessons my niece shared with her while you travelled will be with her for life. Every time she spear fishes she will recall falling in the water over and over again as she slipped. And her friend’s happy laughter and strong arm that pulled her to her feet and patted her on the back and encouraged her to try again. And my niece will remember Hollipah’s wide eyes when she showed her you shaking hands with the first alien to ever set foot on Earth. How she told Hollipah that the ruby scaled woman was named Aunt Ruby to her. How her little sister would refuse to let go of her. She will remember telling her friend from Kush, or Ethiopia, about Miko when she was asked. How she missed her little sister. She will remember the hug that Hollipah and herself shared, the tears she shed into the girl’s shoulder. She will remember the words Hollipah spoke to her. It will comfort her. Mortal life is connections being made and broken with the world around them. It is how they perceive reality and time. It is how you currently perceive it, sister.

My niece chooses to remember and share her warm memories of her little sister. You choose to dwell on the last moments of her life, and not the words she spoke to you before she passed from your existence. You seek ways to punish yourself for actions that were not yours. First it was pushing all of those you love away. Then you went back on your promise to yourself and took part in the wholesale slaughter of anyone who had anything to do with her death. Then you allowed yourself to be harmed by your mortal father. You let yourself go from this world so much so that Father had to send you back. Now, you do this. You distance yourself from one of the godliest women to ever walk on this mortal realm, your daughter who has given up everything to stay with you and the world at large. Why sister? Why do you push them away?”

“Why don’t you tell me you glorified will-o-wisp so I can sleep?”

“You use that term to mock me, but in many ways, it is what I am, I guide mortals. The path out of the darkness of the soul is often fraught with peril, so it may seem like I am leading someone to their doom until they see the light of our Father. Answer me one question and I will leave you be for your nights rest: Why do you push everyone away sister?”

“I don’t want to deal with them.”

“It is an answer, not the correct answer, but an answer. May Father bless you with a fitful sleep.”

*****

When Enid woke again it was the sound of many more voices than she should be hearing. She could understand every word of it, it was members from Zipporah’s tribe greeting their return warmly. Enid lay there and listened to joyful laughter. Then she clutched her the gnarled wooden staff she’d been using to hold herself up with her hand the blue veins grew brighter briefly then faded to the dull blue that had stained her pale skin since the Red Sea when she heard Zipporah explain why they had stopped so close to the village. One their group tired and could walk no farther. Enid could not remember being this weak since she was that beaten child scared of every shadow because it could be her father drunk again looking to… She let the memory go as her hand began to shake with impotent rage at her predicament. She silently cursed God for first robbing her of her powers, then forcing her into a position where she would need to channel energies that would leave her physically broken and then dragging her along on this unnecessary journey. She saw a flicker of light and realized that her constant companion was still there.

“Artiya’il, I would have thought you long gone to someone you can actually help.”

“No one is beyond help, Sister. Why not get up, greet your new hosts? They are celebrating with a breakfast using up the last of the gathered supplies.”

“Perhaps if I was a vampire again I could heal and I would feel like it.”

“Tell me sister: Do you feel worthy of the gift your father of blood granted you?”

“Enough of your questions! You annoying…ball of light.”

“If I offend you so, why not go take up your blade and strike me down? It will destroy me as surely as it destroys our lost brothers and sisters.”

“You’re not worth the effort.”

“What is worth effort sister?”

Enid hit her head against the soft roll of fabric she used as a pillow and pulled herself up with the staff. She pulled the hood of her desert robes up to conceal the blue veins that marred her forehead and the back of her cheeks. She was greeted by a patrol of men from the village, Hazel, Hollipah, Zipporah and her sons. Zipporah moved to make space and offered her a plate of food.

“This is the one I told you of, who parted the sea, mother of Hazel. Healer of my husband.”

Enid sat letting her staff lean against her and took the plate. She sat paying little attention to those around her and picked at her food. She had no appetite at all lately. Everything was bland and tasteless to her. Artiya’il let her be as the camp was packed and the patrol from the tribe helped carry everything to the village. Enid trailed the group everyone else had a hop in their step as they neared the village, even Hazel who seemed excited for her friend Hollipah. The ball of light continued to keep pace with Enid but left her to her thoughts. She remained at the periphery when the warm hugs went around for Zipporah and her children. Hazel was accepted immediately when Hollipah began to brag about her new friends prowess in the battle against the army of undead Egyptians at the Red Sea. Enid found a place and sat down. Her legs weary from even the short walk to the village. Artiya’il flitted around her and appeared to settle on the bench beside Enid.

If you spot this story on Amazon, know that it has been stolen. Report the violation.

“You grow weaker every moment sister. Why?”

“Ask God, he’s the one who forced me into this position.”

“What position is that?”

“To channel power not meant for mortal hands.”

“Of course. I see. So, it is Father’s fault you have lost your vampiric abilities, that you lack the strength to walk, or defend yourself.”

“Exactly, why did it take so long for that to sink in.”

“Well, I suppose from your perspective as a, ‘mortal’, it would seem you are at his whim. Wouldn’t it?”

“I thought you were an angel. You’re not very smart.”

“Sometimes I am not. It really depends on the situation. Some purposes are so difficult to complete. You would not believe how many mortals just refuse to see the truth even as it strikes at them from all sides, and how many once they realize it feel very embarrassed it took them so long.”

“You are very funny.”

“That is very nice of you to say. I did not realize I was funny. Thank you for the compliment, sister.”

“You are impossible!”

“No, I am merely improbable.”

Enid glared at the nuisance beside her. It flashed briefly and appeared on the other side of her.

“I believe I am causing you anger. Perhaps if I had a neck you would want wrap your hands around it to silence me. But could your hands even do that, or are they too weak?”

Enid turned to face the ball of light again.

“Or perhaps the sword. You know that would stop things quickly, but do you even have the strength to lift it?”

“If you’re trying to get me angry, you have succeed a long time ago.”

“Yes, but when you are angry, you lash out, do you not? Yet here you are, you sit taking it, why do you think that is sister?”

She stared at him long and hard.

“Hmm, no answer. Or perhaps you know the answer, but you refuse to give it consideration?”

Enid’s thoughts became as loud as she could make them in her head.

“Why do you insist on pestering me?”

“Why do you insist on letting me?”

“Just tell me and get this nightmare over with.”

“If I told you then the point of this exercise would be ruined. Ponder my questions, I will be here beside you, until you do, forever it needs be the case.”

“I’ll just tell Hazel to perform the limbo gate ritual!”

“Oh, I see, you will get Hazel to do it. Are you so weak that mixing some blood and some incense is beyond you? Can you not lift your arm to mark the doorway?”

Enid glared at him again.

“Because I lack the power because I am a mortal, you insipid ball of idiocy!”

“Oh, as you lacked the power to summon your staff to you, and part the Red Sea? Lacked the strength to assist in fighting off the minions of Hell who threatened to overwhelm your charges? Tell me, is it your lack of power that is preventing you from greeting your hosts who have welcomed you as an honored guest? Is it your lack of power preventing you from addressing your daughters flouting of your rules on advanced technologies in the past? What else is it preventing you from doing?”

“I am weak, and I am exhausted.”

“So, you admit that you have the power in you, but now you find another reason for your inaction.”

“You twist my words like the Black Son twisted the truth.”

“The truth is the truth, Sister. You have the gift to see the truth in everything, but not within yourself. I say seeing the truth in yourself would have be a much better gift to have. What do you think?”

“Why couldn’t God have sent me a self-help book?”

“If he had sent such a thing, would you have read it?”

“Of course not.”

“Congratulations.”

“For what?”

“You have answered a question, with no deception, and no evasion. A good first step.”

“I don’t lie.”

“Hmm, well it is okay, these things are often, one step forward, and several steps back.”

“What is that supposed to mean?”

“What do you think it means?”

“You’re worse then my therapist!”

“Thank you for yet another compliment. As dour as you are behaving, you are showering me with them, sister.”

“How are you so…so you?”

“I have a purpose, fulfilling the purpose I have been given fills me with joy.”

“Why don’t take my purpose while you’re at it!”

“Oh, no, I could not do that, I would rob you of agency, you have given up so much for your purpose. Also, I do not have hands with which to wield a blade or staff. You love your purpose. You smile inside when you are in the thick of battle with the forces of evil. Perhaps you like conflict a little too much, but perhaps I enjoy assisting mortals a little too much.”

“Stuff it up your… whatever opening you have.”

The ball floated beside her quietly, Enid glared at him again.

“I have seen no other angels since the Black Son was dealt with. Why is that?”

“Perhaps our Father has called them home.”

“Or perhaps you know and you’re not telling, or you don’t know at all.”

“Perhaps all three of those things are true.”

“Or maybe it’s the barrier between the Heavens and the rest of creation?”

“Perhaps it is, but does the disposition of our brothers and sisters really matter right now?”

“Yes.”

“Why? You say you are too weak to use the ritual to go to Limbo, to raise your sword? What is poor little mortal you, going to do about it, sister? Perhaps you will send my niece to investigate? Oh, yes, that would prove challenging without speaking to her, would it not? Why do you keep your silence?”

“Go to Hell.”

“I fear you will beat me there at this rate, sister.”

“It cannot be as bad as living through this.”

“You know, I knew an Archangel, who much like you became disillusioned. Oh, he was beautiful, and oh he was glorious. He saw mortals fall from grace in the garden. I went to him as he was lost in his despair, someone had told him if the mortals can fall, who is next? What if you were to disagree with your Father next? How far would you fall? So this Archangel, let these questions eat away at him. I tried to replace them with better questions, but he would not listen. He was condescending to me. He would listen to no reason. Father was lenient. But the Archangel started seeing our Father in a different light. He started to speak these thoughts to us, his brothers and sisters. He saved our sister for the last, for he knew her to be a loving daughter to our Father. She would do our Father’s bidding without question. He whispered to her and said sister: ‘Why do you suffer under this yoke, you are everything, without you he has nothing? He plots our downfall?’ She responded: ‘The only plot here is yours, and I beg you, give up on this foolishness.’ Our sister was his favorite sibling and her rebuke is what sparked the rebellion, as it was her staff and her purpose that brought the rebels low, it was her being that formed the walls of their prison.”

“What does that have to do with anything?”

“If our sister, whose being is the foundation of Hell, were to lose her way, what do you think would happen to the prison?”

“I assume she has lost her way and that is why the prison is failing.”

“You are correct, she has lost her way.”

“So, am I going to have to kill her too?”

“I doubt you have the strength to kill mosquito, let alone the most powerful being in all of creation. Shall we instead focus on you?”

“Then why tell the story at all? You talk in circles.”

“I told the story, because the Morningstar would not listen to reason from anyone. He trusted the wrong source of truth. Our Father has been trying to tell you the truth for your entire existence. Why do you refuse to hear it?”

“Truth. Hah. You are blind.”

“As an old wise woman once told you, you need to be blind to see the truth of things. What do you think she would say to you right this moment?”

“I have no idea; She is crazier than you are.”

“Yet she has never lied to you.”

“How much is she lying to herself?”

“Less then you I would wager.”

“Whatever.”

“Let us examine the truths you think you know to be true: You keep losing your powers because Father intends it, Miko’s death was his doing, The abuse suffered at your birth father’s hands was our Father’s doing, You were trapped in the past was his doing, You not being allowed into Limbo his doing, Your current infirmity his doing. Now have I missed anything?”

Enid frowned.

“Excellent, now let us examine the other problems you are having currently. Your marriage is in peril, your sister is frustrated with you, your daughters are almost to the point of not speaking with you, save one, who you haven't spoken with in a few weeks though she walks beside you.”

“Ya those are on me.”

“Excellent, taking responsibilities for ones actions is always the best way, sister. Where do you think you learned that from?”

“It is the right thing to do.”

“Yes, but who taught you that? It was not your biological father, and Lilith, though she cared for you deeply and showed you love did not teach you those lessons. But you have always known that taking responsibility for your actions is important.”

“So, what of it?”

“So, assume, that it is something Father is very concerned about. We are talking about God here. Would it not make sense, all of his religious speak it. The Rite of Confession is only one example of many. So if you are his daughter as he has told you over and over again through his own words and through his host, would it not make sense that central to the core of his child would be, take responsibility for your actions?”

“If that were true, yes, I would assume his children would have that beat into their heads.”

“Excellent. Now if our Father believes that so strongly, what would make him lie about it to his children?”

“I have no idea why is lying about it.”

“I will tell you the answer to this question, he would never do that.”

“Sure whatever.”

“Let us hold a mock trial. I will be the prosecution and defense, and you will be the judge.”

“In that case, guilty as charged, defense can go back to picking flowers.”

“Please, sister, just humor me. Are you busy with something else?”

“Fine, sure.”

“So, our Father stands accused of, stealing your powers, murder of your daughter, Conspiracy to commit sexual and physical assault against your person, and finally mental and physical assault in the form of forcing you to perform a miracle. Did I cover all the charges?”

“Yes.”

“Okay, let’s look at the first charge, theft of powers. For the prosecution: God decided the victim was getting too full of herself, to drunk on her power, so he made her a mortal to teach her that even she can be brought low.”

Enid nodded. The angel flitted to the other side of her and glowed with a red hue.

“That is a weak motive your honor. The victim is the defendant’s main champion against the escaped demons of Hell. Dangerous convicts intent on causing chaos and destruction so that they may over throw him. By what logic would he rob his champion of her powers in the midst of such a dangerous time?”

He moved to the other side and his color changed to blue.

“By the defenses own admission, she only requires her sword. And she has shown that she is capable of using the power of order in her mortal form. The defense’s argument is sub par.”

The angel moved to the other side of Enid. Whom for the first time in a month smiled at the different voices he was using and the red and the blue color changes.

“The defense will concede that this is true. Still, we demand a valid motive does the prosecution have one? How does God profit from making his champion weaker?”

He appeared on the other side, taking on a blue hue.

“The prosecution has no rebuttal your honor. We demand a ruling on the first charge your honor!”

He turned white.

“Well judge Enid, what is the verdict?”

“The defense made valid points on that one.”

He flashed red, then took on a blue hue.

“Addressing the charge of murder of the innocent child Miko, the state demands justice! God has struck her down to punish the child’s mother for her inaction. Just as he struck down the first born of Egypt! We will not let this injustice stand! This was a child!”

He flipped to the other side and took on a red hue again.

“First off, the defense would like to extend their deepest condolences on the loss of this innocent life and we wish not to compound this loss, however the prosecution’s arguments again lack a coherent motive, or kernel of truth. The prosecution has mentioned prior acts. We will concede that God did kill many innocents while seeking to punish the wicked and free his people. But in each case, he warned those who came before, very explicitly of the outcome of their behavior. He also accepted responsibility for his actions, and the actions of his Host in every single instance. He is greatly saddened by this loss to his granddaughter’s life. The defense also asks what would his motive for lying be? If he did this thing, and it was to punish inaction by the victim’s mother, what does he have to gain by not telling her that he did this thing? The answer is nothing. The defense speaks on his behalf when it says, he would never do this thing to his own grandchild, and if he were to do it, he would be honest about it. Does the defense have a better motive for the accusations in this charge?”

Enid’s hands clutched the staff tightly as he flipped to the other side and turned blue.

“No, your honor. We do not have a better reasoning for this accusation.”

He flipped to the other side of Enid and turned Red.

“The defense demands a verdict on this accusation, and on the victim’s culpability in it.”

He turned white and floated in front of Enid, she could feel compassion oozing from him.

“Well judge, on this charge how do you find?”

Enid rubbed the bridge of her nose.

“Not Guilty.”

“And the victim? What part did she play in this crime, if the accursed is not guilty?”

“None.”

“Very well thought out verdict your honor, I shall let the prosecution know you’re ready for his next charge.”

Enid held up her hand.

“Stop. Just stop.”

“But there are still two more charges against our Father, are you sure sister?”

“Yes, damn it, Artiya’il you have made your bloody point.”

The ball of light flashed again and floated by her side instead of in front of her.

“Many terrible things have happened to you sister, some of them your own doing, some of them the work of your enemies, and some of them just life happening. Our Father is always on your side but he never forces anything on anyone. He opens paths and if you chose to follow them then the benefits and the consequences are yours alone. But Miko, your biological father, these things that just happened because a sequence of events led to them, neither of which were started or ended by you. You have made terrible choices, and you have hurt the people you love. You know in your heart the only way to fix that is to make amends. Wallowing in your despair and avoiding the consequences here in this village for another hundred years will not change those facts.”

Enid gripped the bench she was sitting on tightly with white knuckles and she began to sob.

“That is right sister, let it out. Release it all into the world so it no longer clings to you like chains dragging you down. Take responsibility for your actions, but do not blame yourself for the actions of others.”

The ball of light floated beside her silently after that wrapping folds of light around her filling her with peace and warmth.

“Now go Sister, sleep, and wake free of your chains and shackles that burden your soul. Farewell.”

*****

Enid woke and for the first time since she arrived in this time, she felt whole. She could hear the animals on the plains. The waves crashing against the shore. And the distinct sound of teenage girls giggling. She pushed herself up and looked at her hands, they were pale and showed no signs of blue veins. She could hear the slow beat of Zipporah’s heart as she slept. Hear the blood rushing through the woman’s veins. She was a vampire again. She walked out into the night. The village was quiet and her ever present companion angel was nowhere to be seen.

She followed the sound of giggling teenage girls to a hut near the shore of the Red Sea. She pulled the shadows around herself and slipped inside. She smiled as she looked at Hazel and Hollipah snuggled together with a blanket wrapped around them. They were watching an old cheesy horror movie that had been restored. Hazel had its audio set to Hebrew with English subtitles. Enid had seen it before so she waited for one of the jump scares to appear behind the holo-display with her black desert robe hood pulled up. The screams from the two girls were amusing enough but Hazel managed to jump so high she hit her head on the hut’s roof. Hollipah was cowering behind Hazel. Enid pulled her hood down, and if Hazel had been frightened by the abrupt appearance of a black robed figure in the doorway of the hut. Seeing her mother’s almost glowing emerald eyes while she was breaking several of her rules had her downright terrified.

“Uh, its not what it looks like mom.”

“I think it is exactly what it looks like, you started watching a movie without me. And you don’t have any snacks.”

Enid smiled at her daughter. Hazel bounded to her mother clutching her tightly.

“Your back!”

“I am sorry I left.”

Enid held hugged her daughter tightly.

“Now let’s get those snacks out, and if you haven’t peed yourselves to badly shall we finish the movie?”

Hazel nodded and sat down in between her other and Hollipah pulling the blanket around both, she resumed the movie from where her mother had scared them. Enid leaned her head on Hazel’s shoulder.