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Reality or Game
Chapter 29: Relationship Problems, Part 2

Chapter 29: Relationship Problems, Part 2

Alcor and I went our separate ways home. I could feel the slowness in his steps. I took a deep breath and slapped my own cheeks. I then cheered, “Just a little more, Dove.”

            I returned to our house. Once again, Hawk sat there writing and waiting for me.

            “Hawk.”

            “Yes?”

            “Alcor confessed to me.”

            “Is that so? Congratulations. What did you reply?”

            “It’s a secret.”

            “Alright.”

            I sat down beside Hawk and pestered him, “If I accepted his confession, do you mind?”

            “I don’t care as long as you fulfill your duties in ARF.”

            “Alcor’s a great guy by the way, he…”

            I spent the next five minutes praising Alcor to Hawk. He merely replied with the same indifferent lines of “Is that so?”, “Great.” “I don’t care as long as…”

            “I’ll be leaving again in a while. Alcor rented a room for us to spend together.”

            For the first time in the past few days, Hawk showed emotion after hearing what I said. He turned his head to look at me. His body shook. His fists were clenched. He bit his lips.

            “I… I…”

            “Yes?”

            “… it’s fine… as long as you fulfill… your duties… in ARF…” said Hawk. His eyes were watery. His entire body was trembling. Even so, he continued to claim his indifference.

            I slapped Hawk as hard as I could and shouted, “Just say what you really think instead of what you want to think already!”

            “I have no right to restrict you…”

            No longer able to hold my temper, I pushed Hawk down the sofa. He immediately tried to stand back up, but I sat on top him to prevent him from doing so. I slapped him repeatedly. I shouted, “You should choose what you really think instead of what you think you should think. I continued slapping him…

            I did not know how long I continued slapping him, but my hands were tired and hurt from it. Even so, I did not stop. I endured the tiredness and pain and continued.

            After however long of slapping him, Hawk finally caught my hands and embraced me tightly. He said in a weak, sobbing voice, “I don’t want you to meet Alcor any longer or anyone else with romantic intentions. That is what I think. I know it’s wrong. I have no right to intrude in your personal life. I know you can have romantic relationships that will not intrude in ARF’s performance. But… but… I can’t help but not want you to…”

            I embraced Hawk back and said, “You really made this complicated. I wanted you to say so from the start. I only figured out Alcor liked me when he invited me to dinner for the first time. You realized the second we met Alcor. You should have told that from the beginning.”

            Hawk sat up with me still sitting on his lap facing him. He petted me and felt my hair through his fingers. “I’m sorry.”

            “All this after that night you treated me like I’m special to you, you really are an idiot.”

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            “I know. I’m an idiot. I’m sorry. And thank you.” Hawk’s voice was no longer sobbing. He seemed calmer now.

            “It’s alright. It doesn’t matter to me whether you’re an idiot. But please… tell me what you think… no matter how wrong you think it may be, I will hear it. If I think it’s wrong, then I won’t do it. I won’t blindly listen to what you say. What matters is that you tell me. I’ll forgive you this time. I’ll probably forgive you even if you do it again. If you think what you think is wrong, tell me next time, okay?”

            “Yes. I’ll do my best. If I ever make the same mistake, then please beat me up again.”

            “Of course.”

            We released our embraced. I rested my tired hands on my lap and said, “I apologize. I lied as well.”

            “The dinner at June 24 was a lie. You probably went to Liza’s or something. The room tonight is a lie as well.”

            “You knew from the start?”

            “No. I only figured out now. My emotions were too unstable for me to figure anything out these past days.”

            “It is as you say. I did all that to change you. I even took advantage of Alcor’s feelings for me.”

            “You manipulative brat. That’s supposed to be my role. Make sure to apologize. I will as well.”

            “Of course.” I rested my head of Hawk’s shoulder and placed my hands on his lap. “The pain is gone because this is Reality, but my hands are tired because of you. Please massage them.”

            Hawk complied and warmed my hands. He then said, “You know. I am too fortunate I was brought to the same city as you.”

            I was really fortunate for this as well, but I did not say it out loud and let Hawk continue.

            “When I met you here before I knew your identity, I realized the possibility it was you, but I dismissed that as my own bias of wanting to meet somebody I knew here. In the end, it turned out it was actually you. I met you before I choked in Reality. That one choke will put me on tilt and spiral me down to failure. Like during the Goblin Camp attack, if you weren’t there, I’d probably be dead due to my tilt creating choke after choke. And out of all the people in our university, you were the only want that could stop my tilt then. When I was in a bad mood after meeting Alcor, you cheered me up.”

            I interrupted his massaging and held his hand tightly. Our fingers intertwined and I said, “And I will continue standing by your side until the end of Reality.”

            “Only until then?” asked Hawk with obvious implications.

            I blushed and replied, “It’s a secret. It’s getting late; we should go to sleep now.”

            I changed my clothes, and together, we went to the master’s bedroom. Canary was still awake with Sylvie sitting beside him.

            Seeing us enter together immediately removed all sadness in Canary’s face and returned the smile we were used to.

            “Canary, I’m sorry. I’ll try my best to not be an idiot again.”

            “It’s alright. Can we go back to how we once were?”

            “Of course! Hawk and I replied together. We embraced Canary. I told Sylvie, who was watching, to join us as well, so the four of us cuddled together with Canary in the middle.

            Sylvie left for his room soon after. Due to Canary’s insistence, we slept very tightly together. We didn’t even occupy a third of the bed. Finally, after days of worrying and awkwardness, we finally slept in peace again.

            June 26, XX17

            Alcor POV

            “Sorry.” apologized Dove in unison with Hawk with their heads bowed after explaining all that happened to me.

            In the end, Dove merely used my feelings to further her own ends. It hurt… even more than being rejected. Why did I fall in love with a girl who could do this to me? I knew the answer. I knew I knew the answer, but I refused to accept it. My mind refused to think about the answer.

            “Dove… never talk to me again.” I said.

            Dove nodded. She didn’t want to hurt me, yet she chose to do it anyway. Even now, I couldn’t bring myself to hate her. Looking at her sad eyes as she heard my request removed any hatred I felt towards her.

            “Hawk, I want to talk to you alone.”

            Dove complied and left us. When I confirmed that Dove could no longer hear us, I asked, “Please take care of Dove for me.”

            Hawk glanced at me. I knew he would do that even without me telling him to, but he simply replied, “Yes. You do know that she only hurt you because he wanted to change me.”

“I know. I hate you. It’s all your fault that I feel like this. But… I have no choice but admit defeat and concede Dove to you.”

            Hawk looked at me with disappointed eyes. He began leaving as well. Without looking back at me, he said, “Don’t give up so easily. Even if there’s nothing you can do, the universe may bring you to her.” Hawk continued to walk further. In a barely audible tone, he continued, “Just as it did to me.”