“I see light in this world, even if so many things went awfully bad. I want to believe that my mama and papa are still looking out for me. I want to believe that the Goddess will keep those bad men away. I want to believe that I wouldn’t just be left alone in a scary place. All I want is some nice things.”

- Excerpt from Alizée Amboise’s Notebook Scribbles (Later Journal).

+++

+++ Lieutenant Hans Hoffman +++

Rousselot City

August 1, 1538 CE

“You both…wouldn’t leave me?”

Hans tiredly looked up at Alizée’s eyes. The same girl who killed him so gruesomely again. Again. This…girl in front of him, someone who killed him with sheer hatred. Like he was nothing. Hans wanted to feel hatred against this girl. For how ungrateful she was. He did…he did so many things for her. He saved her. Cared for her. They even acted as her temporary caretakers.

Yet, all of that, for them to just be backstabbed during the attack? She…no, literally, this girl stabbed him on his back. Stabbed him in the back while he was fighting the “Tentacled Eel” to protect her. How could she do such a thing to him? How?

Alizée…you…you…

Yet, she was crying in front of him right now. Again. Begging him in tears to not be left alone. Begging and begging even when she couldn’t even fully speak his language. Hans laughed at himself internally. What kind of a man was he? To blame a child for breaking down in this situation, when he, the only guy left who could even take responsibility for her safety…dared not even give her anything that would place her mind in a better place.

I’m exceptionally cruel, huh?

Damn it.

Why do I keep running from it?

Why?

What am I, a coward?

The first thing I told her was that everything would be alright. Are my words that damned cheap? That I’d just…throw it, and betray it the moment it becomes too hard to achieve…

He died three times already. Three damned times since the “Tentacled Eel” appeared. How could even promise her now that all would be fine, or that she would be fine under his care? What was he, some sort of child guardian who could actually take on threats that clearly targeted her?

What arrogance of him?

But what carelessness would it also be if he left a child without anywhere else to go in a dark place? He might as well be no better than those Flandrians who bombed children’s hospitals or worse. Truly, he would be living true to his name as a penal soldier. A dishonorable bastard who broke the law of the land and paid for it by fighting to the death. Someone without proper morality who deserved his own position in life.

…Did he really want to be like that?

Didn’t I tell myself, ever since I stepped on this goddamned war…that I’d prove to them all that I’m not supposed to be in that unit? What happened to that vow? What happened, Hans?

He laughed at himself.

What happened to your code of conduct?

You’re so jaded by the violence now that you’d leave a child in a warzone?

What cowardice.

Maybe I do deserve to be a penal soldier.

Or… he could continue his vow. But how? How would he even do it? Fight for the right thing? Save his comrades? Follow Adelyn to whatever noble goal she wanted to be completed.

To save this child from her fate?

Then what?

Would he be some sort of her long-term guardian then? Some madman who’d intercept demons and corrupt government goons sent to kill or push an innocent child to insanity just for whatever twisted desires that they had? Was he even up for that task? He told it himself a million times. He was no caretaker. No babysitter. Children weren't his best-damned forte.

He didn’t know how to properly take care of them. Interact with them. Feed them. Clothe them. Raise them. All he knew was to shoot any bastard who’d try to shoot them.

He told himself that all he needed to complete was to give her a ride to a safer place.

What if…that simple vow, a simple side-mission he gave himself in that forest…would be a ride that would take months or years? What if that “ride” would mean a hundred brutal deaths for him in the end? Was he ready to pay for all those costs himself?

“Sir Hans?”

No…I have no damned excuses. Nothing. I can…I can come back and come back and come back indefinitely until she’s safe. Just as I can come back endlessly to keep Adelyn safe. If she’s really in this great of a risk that demons target her just to turn her into one of them…then I cannot just leave her to someone who can’t do what I can do.

Because if I do that.

I might as well just give her a merciful end.

And he would never stomach to do that to a child.

Unlawfully taken from Royal Road, this story should be reported if seen on Amazon.

He looked back at her tearful eyes and mustered a determined smile.

“Do you really want to come with us?” Hans finally asked. “Do you want to?”

The little girl’s eyes brightened for a second before she looked down almost embarrassedly.

“I like Lady Adelyn so much. She’s…very nice, and…she takes care of me. You on the other hand are also kind. You always keep the bad guys away from me. And…and you’re why I’m still alive…

“And I am scared of the bad guys…they…they want to take me, for some reason. I’m scared. I’m…so scared.”

She closed her eyes and spoke as loud as she could.

“So please, don’t leave me alone!”

Hans patted her head, even if he didn’t know what she said with the rest of her words, she sure did know how to say the last, most important part of her answer.

“There, there, you scaredy-cat,” Hans laughed. “We won’t, kid. Damn it, we won’t. I told you these words already, but I’ll say it again. They can all come right at us. They can all try. I won’t leave you alone to face them. I’m sure Adelyn wouldn’t either. We wouldn’t. Alizée…I promise you, everything will be alright. Just bear with us, please, okay?”

The girl meekly nodded, before she hugged him in tears. Hans didn’t really know how to react, as she began crying at him. Was he supposed to pull out the handkerchief now? Would a chocolate bar work this time around?

Ah, stupid moron, just pat her back.

And that was what he exactly did as he sighed. She really was crying hard, wasn’t she? Just what kind of an insensitive moron was he? He just needed to give her an “everything will be fine” talk. She was a damned child. Things would be simple for her. Those words…should be enough to keep her sane for a while.

As for Hans, however, he knew those few words wouldn’t be simple for him to complete. To save her from a dark fate, would mean great danger for him.

But whatever.

I’ll die by that decision.

+++

Rousselot City

August 3, 1538

“You’re asking me if I can fight a demon one on one?”

The Countess’ words were cold and icy. She didn’t even bother looking at him, as she petted a white cat in her lap, sitting with her back against him in her “office” of sorts. Hans looked around the paintings in the room, many of them depicting different members of the House Fresnel.

From Vanus men on horseback who waved guns and wands, to wizard-like noblewomen who wielded these large staffs, and the last one, a respectable-looking man who stood in what appeared to be a hill with artillery in the background, his spyglass aimed in the distance.

Indeed, House Fresnel was once a powerful, prestigious family that produced great officers, battlemages, and statesmen and women for the Republic. Now, however…it was reduced to this one solitary matriarch of her non-existent family, silently petting the only companion she had in her home.

“Yes, Ma’am,” Hans said, trying his best to sound respectful. “I just, I heard—”

“Whatever that man told you is not far from the truth,” she replied. “I can. Perhaps. Would I though?”

“Well, I would think you would, Ma’am,” Hans said. “Say, if it attacks this city, or something.”

“I’d rather flee this city in an attack than waste myself, Lieutenant Hoffman,” the Countess replied. “You’re operating under wild assumptions. I am not taking on a demon on my own, even if I can. I am not stupid.”

Yet she fought that creature during my first death. Is she just lying to me?

She laughed to herself as the cat yawned.

“Just like the last time. Isn’t that why those men hate me? Well, I don’t blame them. The lives of puny humans aren’t something I’d sacrifice myself for.”

“...Then why defend this city?” Hans asked. “Why remain in this position?”

“Am I supposed to answer the questions of an outsider I hired for my interests?”

“No, Ma’am…”

“And you’re not long under my command anyway. The IYC will soon come for you. Just as I am their unwilling puppet, so will you. The two of you will soon inevitably dance to their tunes. That’s how it works in Ygeia now, young man.”

Hans couldn’t reply. Truthfully, he knew that it was unavoidable once this battle was over. His past lives also showed that. The IYC had a deal they wouldn’t be able to refuse. That faceless, distant, uncaring entity that seemed to not have a shred of human morality, only interested in saving Ygeia because of their profit motives…was a giant that neither he nor the woman in front of him could confront.

He remembered how she fought that demon with her own power. That was…something that he wouldn’t be able to do. Not without his mech. Yet she, a simple woman with a sword wand, was capable of doing so. She didn’t even need a gun like Captain Weibel, or Lieutenant Preisner.

Yet just like those two, ultimately, she was powerless.

“Do you hate them?” Hans asked. “The Company?”

The Countess remained silent.

“Do you?” He asked again.

“The Imperium took everything away from me,” she silently said. “If I could…I’d like to see that Virtus woman on the throne of the Holy Empire burning from my own magic.”

She sighed.

“But I’m tired of fighting. I want none of it anymore,” she shook her head. “That’s why I hire other fools to do it for me. It’s a tiring endeavor. Quite frankly, I’d like to consider it below me. And what does revenge do other than push you into stupidity? I’m not interested. That’s why…if I’ll fight, I’ll only do it to tie up loose ends at last.”

…So did she consider fighting that monster as ‘tying up loose ends’? She fought it to the blood end after all. I wonder then…

He looked at the last painting. The Vanus man who overlooked the battlefield with his spyglass.

“Who is he?” He asked. “He’s…the last out there.”

The Countess did not so much as turn her head to look at the painting.

“None of your business,” she said, clearly a bit irritated. “But if it eases you, he’s just another fool who thought he could do it all.”

She laughed, strangely though, a bit warmer this time, even if it only lasted for a few brief seconds.

“Just another fool who deserves a proper rest, one day.”

She gently placed the cat on the floor off her lap, and stood up, going straight to her table to serve herself another serving of tea in her cup from her kettle. Hans understood that the woman wouldn’t be open to any further questions, so he respectfully bowed.

“I’ll be taking my leave then, Ma’am.”

She looked at him for a second, almost judging him, before she simply nodded.

“Take care then. And good luck with that girl with you. The gods know she needs someone good to take care of her.”

Hans nodded, already knowing that he and Adelyn finally conceded their petitions to the Countess yesterday after the two talked about the fate of Alizée. She’d be coming with them until the situation “improved”.

“Thanks. And to you too, Ma’am,” Hans replied. The woman turned to him, with a hint of confusion in her face. Naturally, Hans thought he fumbled again. “Good luck, I mean, on tying up loose ends, or whatever that is.”

Her expressions remained.

“Y-yeah, thanks for the meeting, Ma’am. It was a pleasure.”

He bowed quickly and retreated as fast as he could.

Women sure could be scary.