The purple haired Amazonian lunatic jumped away from her bike, and ran over to Ranma, quickly wrapping her arms around the sex-changing martial artist, and glaring hatefully at the eternally lost boy all the while.. "Shampoo no know why you force Ranma into kiss like that, but Shampoo kill you, stupid stupid-boy!" she watched as Ryoga sat up without a struggle; compared to the beatings he had taken from the Bakusai Tenkatsu, Shampoo's bike was nothing.
It took a moment for Ranma to register what was going on, still stunned that a bicycle had nearly gotten close enough to do some actual damage to her. She had no reason to be concerned about Ryoga's well being though, he was practically a tank when it came to being able to with stand such blunt attacks. "S-shampoo!" Ranma exclaimed, pulling her arm away from the clutches of the insane Amazon. "W-what're you doing here?" she asked, blinking with what was obviously panic in her eyes.
"Shampoo was delivering too too delicious foods to peoples around town, when she saw you and stupid-boy kissing, so, Shampoo realize now that stupid boy is actually..." she paused, turning away, unable to look at him. Ranma though, absently noticed the heat rising to her cheeks, she was blushing. "stupid pervert-boy." The purple haired girl finished.
It was a good thing that Shampoo wasn't exactly able to look too far into things like a normal people could. As right now she was in a deep state of denial about the possibility that Ranma could actually be into men, which would be right on the money. "Look, Shampoo..." Ranma stopped; there was a good ticket right in front of her. This was her chance, she could get rid of Kuno and Shampoo at the same time! She just had to play this as was well as she did with Kuno, and with any luck, the lavender-haired girl might take a hint better than the bokken-wielding bonehead.
"Umm, a-actually, what you saw... was real," Ranma stated, placing her hand onto the purple haired girl.
Shampoo stared intently at the pigtailed girl, looking for any sort of insincerity in her face. "N-no, you lie! R-Ranma kiss Ryoga... because Ranma, like boys?" she asked, the look on her face almost too priceless. If it had been anyone with a sense of humour, they might admire how clever and odd fitting this situation seemed.
For Ranma though, this was a different case; she needed to be rid of this pest. If she could do it properly, she'd have two potential lunatics out of the way. "Y-yeah..." she muttered, looking off to the side. She wasn't convincing, but then again, Shampoo wasn't the brightest bulb in the box, and was easily tricked. "I... like... guys..."
"I-is that why you no go on dates with Shampoo...?" she asked, her voice was strained but not as much as she normally would've been; coping with this information was much easier now that she knew there was a reason why Ranma never really accepted all her advances.
The redheaded girl had to take a deep breathe for what she was about to do next, since she had to prepare herself for some truly embarrassing improvisational acting, "Yes! I like guys... so, can you help me out and get rid of this idiot?" she said, pointing to Kuno. "He's like my Mousse!" she pointed, then turned to the lost boy, "And this...," she blushed, avoiding eye contact with Shampoo, "is working pretty well for me." there was a small pause, everything was being taken in as quickly as their minds could process.
Ryoga, since the moment that Ranma had began to talk was blushing. There was just no way to stop the burning heat that was his cheeks at the moment. Any guy in this kind of predicament would just flat out be dumbfounded. Ranma was using clever excuses in order to get rid of another pest, one that had attempted to slay her if she had actually been a woman. If that wasn't enough, she was announcing that he was a perfect boyfriend for her. 'W-what is she up to...?' First Ranma uses me as his slave in order to get rid of Kuno... and now the arrogant jerk is out to get rid of that Shampoo girl too!' a shuddering breathe escaped Ryoga's lips, due to the fact that he was imagining everything Ranma was saying as if it were something deeper between the two. Though there was nothing... it was all a ruse. Just a silly act put up in order for Ranma to be free of all the insane people in her life.
Kuno personally had felt that his honor had been insulted... were her matters so much more important than the all great Blue Thunder of Furinkin High? Not in Kuno's mind it wasn't! So, the second he calmed down enough to focus on the matter at hand, he saw that Ranma was talking to that purple haired girl known simply as "Shampoo". Although he'd never address her as such, he was determined to let her know the wrath of his blade! "You!" he shouted, aiming the tip of his bokken towards the purple haired Amazonian, "Do not stand in the way of my quest to release my beloved pig tailed girl from the clutches of that foul Saotome!"
Shampoo and the redheaded girl brought their attention to Kuno; Shampoo glared hatefully, "Me lose Ranma... but me no want Ranma to lose one he really want." she stated, turning her attention over to the wooden blade wielding manic. "YOU NO CALL RANMA BIRD!" the purple-haired warrior stated, misunderstanding Kuno's comment somewhat.
"Bird?" Ryoga asked, turning his head to the Saotome heir. His only response was a shrug from her.
"You certainly appear to be an odd one... and although you may wish to go out with me, I have my eyes already set on the beautiful pigtailed girl." the bokken master stated. "Perhaps if you defeat me, I'll allow you a pity date." was the blue thunder's cocky reply.
"You talk big!" Shampoo countered, raising her hands up and spreading her legs. "Show Shampoo you can back words up!" with that, she glanced to her side. "Go now, Shampoo can take down weirdo!" she commanded.
"Thanks, Shampoo!" Ranma replied, happily leaning down and helping Ryoga from the ground.
The two exchanged glances before running in the direction of the school, which just so happened to be right in front of them. There was a slight problem though, a particularly moronic Kuno stood in their path... But not for long! "Get out of our way ya dumb idiot!" Ranma and Ryoga shouted, jumping up and planting their feet on Kuno's unsuspecting face; using his face to gain a small amount of momentum, they launched themselves forward and past Kuno.
"Argh!' the blue thunder groaned, placing his hands on his sore foot imprinted face. "How dare you force my beloved pigtailed girl to do such an abhorrent act? I'll get you for this!" You see, if there was anything in the world that mattered most to Kuno, it was his face. He took absolute care in maintaining it, and having it trampled upon was an injustice that he could not let stand! But before he could turn around and make good on his words, an obstacle stood in his path.
"You no stop them..." Shampoo said. Then found her eyes drifting to the side, there was sadness about her now. She would have to learn to accept this; of course she would have to make up some excuse as to why she wasn't able to marry the man that defeated her. 'At least Akane no get Ranma...' she thought to herself, smirking and returning to the battle in front of her.
"I have no time to commence a battle with you, it doesn't matter to how much you wish to date me, I must bring justice, and find a weakness between that foul cohort of Ranma... wherever his magic has made him vanish off to." he stated.
Shampoo really wasn't following; since she had a limited understanding of Japanese and flowery junk Kuno would spew. "You no get to Ranma!" she simply responded, charging Kuno with malice in her eyes. Good thing for her there was an idiot she could take her frustration out on.
What followed next was Shampoo and Kuno exchanging blows. The blue thunder would madly swing his sword as the purple haired girl would simply evade whenever she could and counter with a blow, which in turn was simply blocked with Kuno's bokken in an endless cycle. The two jumped away in order to gain some distance between each other, neither had much breathe left after that. Not that either was willing to let that stop them, as they clashed over and over.
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Shampoo was annoyed that she hadn't brought her chúi's along with her; it would've made fighting much easier. In fact, she was quite certain that could've taken him down by now! As luck would have it though, she simply had to struggle in order to help Ranma. Pretty much the norm when it came to anything associated to the pigtailed warrior, whether it was related to him being cursed; or something stranger, such as a freaky shadow doppelganger showing up. The girl was forced to help, only because she believed herself to be in love with him.
Her eyes widened when she saw an opening in his attack. The blue thunder had mistakenly tried a downward slash to her, "It's over!" he exclaimed, but that was his fatal mistake! Shampoo jumped and skidded to the side before she hopped back and planted her foot on his chest. "Argh!" he cried, being shot over to a near by fence. Sliding down it, he groaned and placed his hand on the side of his head.
"The fates have chosen for you to defeat me by luck... I shall not date the unworthy." Kuno groaned, trying to stand.
Shampoo rolled her eyes, "Is no luck, stupid!" Shampoo shouted, stomping her foot on the ground. "You is just loser!"
That only added insult to injury; in this case literally. "You shall never gain my affection..." he chuckled; this had been just a fluke to him. Never any under any circumstances would she have been able to defeat him. It didn't matter to him that she was gorgeous; she paled in comparison to Akane Tendo and the pigtailed girl.
"You is lucky Shampoo have to make more deliveries!" she exclaimed, going over to her bike. She planned on returning and seeing how Ranma was, but at the moment she didn't want to be scolded by her great grandmother. Her methods of punishment were cruel beyond anything anyone she knew could be done to a person. When she brought her bike up, she climbed abroad and began peddling her way back.
Happosai wasn't a fool; he had watched everything that was going on. It just took a while for his ingenious mind to put and two and two together, "Seems Ranma prefers men now... can't say I didn't see it coming, with fellows as good looking as I, who could blame him?" he mumbled to himself, finding very little interesting in Kuno's and Shampoo's sparing session. That was all he was able to deduce, but his logic lacked any proof besides what could be said by anyone watching and assuming Ranma was just some normal redheaded girl who might be just attracted to a good looking person like Ryoga. Maybe Ranma would not be the best choice and heir to the Saotome School of Anything goes, but the art stood a much better chance at existing than with someone such as Happosai. Anyone would probably blame Happosai's old age and the way they taught people back when he was young, but it was most likely due to how stupid he had become with chasing women rubbing his face against their undergarments.
The old gazer took a second to realize that he had lost sight of the pretty Amazon, "Gwah!" he screamed, shifting his head from side to side. "Where did she go!" he yelped, jumping up to the roofs in order to try and catch her. His plot could wait! Shampoo's underwear was too important right now!
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Sometime later...
When Ranma and Ryoga had arrived at the school, they had to make a plan to deal with everything, but they figured that that could wait until after class. Until then, Ryoga sat quietly and waited on top of the building... and took in all the boredom that came from it. Not that the actual learning part of school was all too entertaining anyways. Though in Ryoga's case, watching paint dry would be more entertaining than having waiting on the roof. So, he sat there, with his legs crossed, watching the sky and hoping that he could take in the image of Akane... if only to brighten his annoyingly Ranma filled day.
"Man... I wonder what she thinks, now that I'm hanging around that jerk Ranma so much," he said to himself, staring at the sky. "I hope she doesn't think I'm as bad as him, or somethin'," he commented, sighing and lowering his head.
"As bad as who, Ryoga?" Akane asked, leaning down with her book bag behind her and blinking at the bandanna-wearing boy.
"AH!" Ryoga screamed, edging away from her in a comical fashion, "A-Akane!" he blushed, looking away. "W-what are you doing here?"
"Well… I came here to talk..." she stated, getting her book bag and pulling out a box lunch. "Also, we haven't eaten together in a while." the blue haired Tendo said, handing him a lunch box. The way it was presented, one would assume that it was made by Kasumi. Whenever Ryoga had seen anything presented by Akane, it would be done in a clumsy manner, and easily spotted.
"T-thank you Akane!" the lost boy felt the need to bow several times in thanks. The poor sucker had forgotten to ask if Kasumi had packed the launch. Then something came to his attention, "Aren't you supposed to be in class?"
"No, it's lunch period." she replied, "and, I already ate." she finished.
"Oh... well, thank you for coming up here, Akane, hehe." there was always a gentle smile on his face. It was just the effect of Akane's angelic like radiance that brought out a softer side to him. Her beautiful radiance was only there because he viewed her as such... being the hopeless romantic that he was and she was sadly one of the first few people to show him kindness.
The blue haired girl nodded her head once, "Well, come on, eat!' she ushered.
Ryoga was always delighted to anything prepared by Kasumi, when he unwrapped it he noticed that the food was oddly placed like it was quickly rushed together. 'Maybe Kasumi is having an off day...' he thought, then took the chop sticks to the sides of the rice and snapped them apart.
Akane watched as the lost boy leaned a piece of rice up to his mouth, it seemed as though time slowed down for them both. That was until something shot out from the sky and slapped Ryoga's chop sticks out of the way.
"Huh?" both Akane and Ryoga gasped, then turned in the direction of the small projectile. They spotted a pencil nearby
"Geez, you shouldn't try and poison the guy, Akane!" Ranma said, making her presence known as she stared at them with one hand out, and then pulling it back in.
"Ranma! It wasn't that bad!" Akane replied, glaring hatefully at her.
For Ryoga, he was glad that Ranma had spared him from the intestinal distress of Akane's cooking. "Go on, Ryoga, eat!" with that she turned back to the pig tailed girl. "Why do you always have to ruin everything?" Akane demanded, standing up to further assert her anger; not that it was needed.
When the coast was clear and it allowed him a window of opportunity, Ryoga looked down at the box lunch, then quickly angled it so it would be thrown over the roof and land on ground level... now it was someone else's burden.
"Oww...! My eye!" someone below shouted, the poor random person never saw it coming. Luckily for Ryoga, Akane was too busy to notice someone shout about having his eye possibly made blind by her awful cooking.
He had to make sure to make to perform some fake munching sounds, though, in order to make it more convincing and to not risk actually having to eat the toxic garbage that just previously laid on his lap.
Ranma had noted that Ryoga sent the horrible cooking flying, and then returned to the blue haired girl. "Yeah, you're right, Akane, I guess. Ryoga sure did eat it all up..." she stated, pointing to Ryoga.
The two exchanged nervous smiles as Akane shifted her attention back to Ryoga, she seemed to inspect him. "Oh... well, I didn't know you liked my cooking that much! Thank you Ryoga!" the blue haired girl said, turning to Ranma and huffing in annoyance.
"Not like I care... the guy must have an iron stomach to get that garbage down," Ranma said, showing her tongue in disgust.
"You're such an inconsiderate jerk!" Akane shouted, slapping her wrists to the side of her hips.
"Akane... don't bother with him," Ryoga stated, crossing his arms with the launch box set neatly to his side.
Akane sighed and turned back to the lost boy, "You're right... I shouldn't care." that's until it hit her, she had been there besides just wanting to share her culinary creation... if the gods would allow it to be called as such. "But that reminds me, I came here to ask you two a question…"
That caused a sense of panic to rise in Ranma and Ryoga's hearts. "Why are you two training together exactly?" she asked, this had been bugging her since day one. "It's not like you two... there has to be more going on, come on! So spill it!" she shouted.
"Well... you see, Akane..." Ranma started, rolling her wrists trying to come up with an actual reason.
"Uh... it's... we're..." Ryoga also tried to help the situation. What could they really say? That Ranma had been forcing Ryoga to trick Kuno into leaving Kuno alone by threatening the lost boy with revealing his secret as P-chan? Not to mention the rather odd number of kisses they shared was on the list of things that needed an explanation... maybe they'd leave that out.
"Just tell me!" Akane demanded, now thoroughly annoyed with the two babbling martial artists.
Before they could try and explain the situation, the door to the roof was shot open. "You impudent little curd!" Kuno shouted, panting as he seemed to be in some massive pain.
"Foul Ryoga Hibiki! You shall not claim the lips of my precious Pigtailed girl anymore!"
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DaisukiFox~