Tatewaki Kuno believed that he wasn't the exact type to gloat; that in victory or triumph, he'd always treat his enemy with grace and dignity, like the true, honorable warrior he knew he was... sadly though, most likely due to a chemical imbalance in his brain, or possibly from falling one too many times on his head as a child, his thought processes rarely coincided with reality.

"Marvelous, simply marvelous... I shall now finally be able to sweep my beloved pigtail girl off her feet, all with your clever aid, of course, Ms. Nabiki Tendo." Kuno said, placing the cup of tea he was drinking down, and lowering his head; attempting to add a 'cool' effect to his exclamation, sadly, it just made him look stupid.

Nabiki rolled her eyes, well aware of Kuno's odd personality quirks. 'That's one way to put them, I suppose.' "Oh, you'll have my help alright... but I can't entirely guarantee that you'll be with the pigtailed girl by the end of this." Nabiki reminded the boy, she was doing this more for herself than anything else. Of course, though she was still helping him, but when it came to the middle Tendo, things were always more complicated than they seemed.

"Ah, yes... a fair maiden's heart is never an easy object to tame, but it will be worth it for this woman." He continued on, using his Shakespearian-like dialect that made him look more like a lunatic, rather than suave.

"And you actually wonder why you don't have people wanting to date you much..." Nabiki whispered, avoiding eye contact with him.

"What?" Kuno asked, raising a brow.

Eyes widening the brown haired business woman shook her head once, "Ah, nothing Kuno-baby, don't you worry about it. So! What do you say we get some sort of strategy going here, alright?"

Giving her a once over, "Yes… of course... what exactly do you have in mind?" he said, placing his cup down, then crossing his arms so his hands were in between his rather large sleeves.

"I'm glad you asked," Nabiki replied, finishing her last sip of tea, and then composing herself a bit more properly in order to form all her most devious ideas. "Alright, I'd like to ask you a few questions..."

"Inquire anything that may aid our cause." he responded.

"Just what exactly do you know about her, the pigtailed girl?" Nabiki asked in a dull sounding manner; she was solely there for business.

"Well… I know that her beauty and warrior's flare only ignites the burning passion that resides deep within me..." coupled with that response, Kuno had leaned his head back and closed his eyes, imagining his red-haired beauty, smiling with a mighty battle aura around her. The way she was posed in his imagination made her look as if she was ready for a fight. The fantasy soon turned to a different direction, though, when he started day dreaming about her making a striking, sensual pose to the side, her hips though, became the main focus, as he watched them sway about her. "Ah… she holds such radiance." He said with a trickle of blood running down his nose.

As poetically disturbing as that was, Nabiki needed more information than just some overtly purple prose. "Yeah… that's not what I was asking; I mean what do you know about her personally?"

"…A man should not peek into the private life of the one he wishes to court most..." He paused for a moment. "Or perhaps I should rephrase that a bit…" he stated, clearing his throat, "One of the two that he wishes to court most."

"Uh-huh, yeah, did you think that up before or after you've started buying pictures of both of Akane and the 'Pigtailed girl' from me?" Nabiki added, causing the bokken wielder in front of her to blush.

"I-I do not believe that either of those truly counts... " he stated, putting up a patchy defense. After a moment, though, they actually tried to think of anything that the bokken-boy really knew about the pigtailed one. He recalled that there were times where she had come to greet him with open arms, but then there were also moments where she'd willingly try to shun him away as well. All in all, Nabiki figured that it usually involved some sort of scheme that the Saotome prodigy was trying at the time. "I believe I truly know little about her... she tends to keep to herself, and only bares affection at times when she is in grave need of my assistance or wishes for something."

'Doesn't Kuno-baby know when he's being used? Well, I suppose stupidity like his can't be helped...' she thought to herself, "Alright, then be glad that you know me because I certainly know her... she tends to like very few things, but I know for a fact that one of her favorite foods is Octopus puffs. She also likes practicing martial arts, and of course, she loves always getting what she wants, although sometimes she can get confused easily and can be as dimwitted as a cashew."

Not much of what she said bothered him, although he had to wonder how she knew these things so intimately… 'Well, Ms. Tendo has been known to surprise people... even myself, which must seem beyond impossible to many, since I'm always aware of the goings on around me... still, such is the power of an intelligent woman like herself..' the blue thunder thought.

"Very interesting... very little did I know before, but now I'm more in tune with her character, but I'm afraid much of this won't help be able to help me," Kuno stated.

"The thing is Kuno-baby... you don't need to know much about her, in fact... you don't need to know anything about her, or target her for that matter," Nabiki smirked.

Judging by the way she was talking, she obviously knew what she was talking about, "I... believe I'm starting to get the point."

That, of course, was a lie and meant Nabiki had to continue, "Challenge her boyfriend-" before she could go any further in her explanation.

"I had already planned that!... now please, I paid for information that would help me." Kuno warned.

"No, not exactly that kind of challenge Kuno-baby... believe me you wouldn't stand a chance against him." The brown haired girl said, causing Kuno to glare at her. She, of course, ignored the action. "I mean, challenge Ryoga to a love contest..."

"A love contest?... I believe that would do nothing... my beautiful pigtailed girl has been bounded by the foul Saotome's spell, from what I understand he gave her away to this foul newcomer." He stated, a pause filling the air.

"This is gonna' be harder than I thought..." Nabiki groaned.

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Ranma, Ryoga & Akane

The preceding events of yesterday pretty much consisted of Ranma just watching Ryoga's moves, and seeing if he tried to do anything odd or perverted with Akane. It got to the point though where Ranma's varying annoyances caused Ryoga to start choking, and he had to have the Heimlich maneuver preformed on him at several points, much to his displeasure.

"Come on, man..." Ranma stated, watching as the lost boy pulled his shirt down, tugging at the edges. Both of them were running late, and the bandanna wearing boy had somehow, once again, gotten lost in the closet before he found all of his clothes.

"Ranma! We'll really be running late if you don't hurry!" Akane said, waiting another minute or so, before starting to speak up again. "... fine, I'm just going to go on ahead without you two! Okay?" with that, the blue haired girl began walking to the school. Earlier she had asked why Ryoga was still with them, she didn't mind that he decided to spend the night, but now she was wondering why he was going to follow them to school as well… The best response she'd received, though, was; "We're supposed to be training and I don't want to come and get him, so, this'll be faster if he waits outside of the school." although Ranma had remained nonchalant when explaining this to her; she still had her doubts about this supposed 'training'.

The narrative has been illicitly obtained; should you discover it on Amazon, report the violation.

"Okay, I think I'm ready..." Ryoga replied, but then was stopped by Ranma sticking out his hand. "What?"

"Your shoes, Pig-brain..." Ranma groaned, causing the lost boy to see that he was indeed missing his footwear.

"Damn it..." Ryoga grunted; running back into the house.

That left Ranma to wait around once more, 'I swear... it's like taking care of a kid! Man, the guy practically needs a map of the house!...' he thought, once again playing the waiting game for Ryoga. Sadly it took another five minutes for the part-time pig-boy to finally escape from the Tendo's abode.

"Thank you, Kasumi." Ryoga waved, and then turned his head in the direction of the exit, where a rather pissed off Ranma stood at, glaring him down.

"Kasumi found them for you, didn't she?" the black haired Saotome drolly asked.

"Yeah..."

Letting off a sigh, Ranma replied; "Alright… whatever… come on, let's just go!" he shouted, tired of this. Running over to the lost boy, Ranma took his hand in his and ran out of the Tendo home. Although Ryoga still didn't like being lead, 'At least he's not a girl this time...' the lost boy thought.

The two ran through the area as quickly as they could, though Ranma's speed was slightly above Ryoga's, so he had to slow down a bit. But it hadn't affected them much, meaning chances were they'd make it to the school's grounds before they'd actually end up being late. …Not that it really mattered to Ryoga though; he didn't actually attend Furinkan High. Although in this case, he'd have to make an exception, his love life was on the line. 'Why does Ranma think I get lost so easily? I've followed him before, lots of times!... I really hope this doesn't have anything to do with why he's been staying as a girl for so long… I better keep watching my back, who knows what goes on in that guy's head?'

Seeing that they were nearing the ditch and the alley way that leads to the school, Ranma turned to the bandana wearing boy and exclaimed the following to him; "We're gonna' make it!" he noticed that it was only probably two minutes until the school bell rang, but that was more than enough time to make their deadline… or so they thought.

"Have at thee!" Kuno shouted, emerging seemingly out of nowhere; though in reality he merely jumped down from a nearby house's roof. Upon doing so, he slammed his bokken into the ground, causing a small crater in the earth to form.

"Wha!" Ryoga screamed as Ranma casually jumped back while still grasping on to his hand. The bandanna wearing boy held onto the pigtailed martial artist a little oddly, grasping him in a hug due to being frightened. After he was dragged up into the air, he landed on his knees, thankfully unscathed. It just made for a bit of a rather awkward picture. He still managed to get up before anyone could accuse him of anything inappropriate, though.

Standing there for a few second pause, the kendoist cast his gaze over to Ranma and Ryoga, "Odd, I had believed your accomplice to only attracted to my beloved Pigtailed girl... but now I see that you fancy men as well! I hadn't thought it'd be the foul sorcerer himself, though…" Kuno stated, narrowing his eyes.

There was an awkward silence wafting through the air until Ranma finally realized what all his flowery words meant, "H-hey you've got the wrong idea ya, idiot!" Ranma shouted, shaking his head from side to side, "I'm not doing anything to him, and I don't like guys!"

It took an entire two seconds for Ryoga to register what Ranma just said, "Hey! I'm not into guys either!" he proclaimed as well, moving several inches away from the other boy due to instinct.

"Nonsense... if this, Ryoga Hibiki I suppose? Wishes to court a member of the same sex, then who am I to judge or oppose?" Kuno stated, closing his eyes and placing one hand on his chest. "I suggest that he merely leave the pigtailed girl for me, you really shouldn't play with her heart in such a manner. Saotome, I suggest that your accomplice reveals his true nature to her, so, that she may fall into my arms once more." Kuno stated, not knowing the flames of anger he was igniting.

Ranma's eyes widened, had he, Tatewaki Kuno just suggest that Ryoga and he get together? In a crazy scheme just so he could have his girl side or something? 'Who the heck does this idiot think he is? As if any of that would happen! I'm Ranma Saotome, the man amongst men! Not Ranma Saotome man who loves to be amongst men!' "Damn you... don't you get it you jerk? We're not gay! I'm just helping this idiot out!..." gritting his teeth, he looked to the side, coming up with something on the top of his head. "Get to school so he can see his girlfriend!" Ranma exclaimed.

There was a dark aura that hung around the lost boy, it seemed to glow and tower above what they'd normally sense; not that Kuno could see it though.

Though that caused Ranma to turn his head to him, "Huh...?"

"Why do you turn your attention away from me?" Kuno asked.

Ryoga had simply had enough of being accused of liking Ranma; there was a limit to what he'd be willing to put up with, and this was the final straw! "What the hell? Are you stupid or something? I don't like this bastard at all...," he growled, sounding as if his anger was straining his words when he spoke. "I like the pigtai-," he quickly stopped, shaking his head, his eyes widening at his Freudian slip.

That was when Ranma knew he had to step in. With that, he raised his hand and slapped it over Ryoga's mouth, though he had to wonder why the other boy started with what seemingly sounded like 'pigtailed', it didn't make sense... There was really only one person there with pigtails, and that was… him! Eyeing Ryoga with an annoyed look, he glared.

The lost boy instantly got the message; he knew he wasn't supposed to say Akane or anything. But in his current state of mind at the moment, he accidentally almost blabbed out the name 'pigtailed girl'. 'Why did I almost say that?... Damn it, I really need to clear my head…'

"Why're ya here anyways?" Ranma asked, removing his hand from Ryoga's mouth.

"I'm here to see if my beloved pigtailed girl is truly in love with this...," he paused, pointing to the yellow clad boy, "plebeian."

"I don't know what the hell you just called me... but it's really starting to piss me off." the lost boy said.

"I wish for you to summon her with your magic now if you please..." the bokken wielder stated, being reminded of Nabiki's words 'Remember... you have to watch how Ryoga acts, don't just stare at the "pigtailed girl"... try to notice if he's not into it.' those were her words and he'd say if there was any fault in Ryoga's actions.

"Fine!" Ranma shouted, running over to the ditch and hopping over the fence. When he returned, he came back as his female persona. Landing gracefully, she turned to Ryoga and placed her hands around his neck, causing him to lean back and blush.

Kuno stared intently, watching Ryoga's face for any signs of weakness and uncertainty.

"Come on Ryoga-baby...," there was a little pause before they kissed, "Make it look good!" Ranma whispered between her teeth. This was one of those moments that required them to do it well, or else there would be suspicions of fraud, that their affections for each other might be construed as false. 'This better make that idiot leave us alone...we've been doing this for took long! It has to get him to start thinking after he sees this!'

Ryoga swallowed hard, this would be another moment where he actually had to kiss Ranma... of all the awful things in his life. Why couldn't this be real? Why couldn't Ranma actually be this unbearably cute red headed girl? Why did he have to lose his first kiss to his worst enemy and hated rival in love? Of all the unfair things in his life... this one pushed above all. Now he had to share another passionate kiss with the sometimes-girl, his possible dream of having one of those with Akane was dashed in front of him if he didn't follow orders. 'If I don't do this... then I'll never get to be with Akane, period!'

Ranma noticed that Ryoga's eyes had been over shadowed by his hair, 'He can't seriously be thinking about not doing this! If he doesn't I'm stuck with Kuno forever!' Ranma thought in a small fit of panic.

Leaning forward ever so slowly, Ryoga tilted his head to the side, 'Akane... Akane... I'm so sorry, I wish this was you.' Closing his eyes he captured the pigtailed girls lips with his, pressing them in a needy fashion, managing to shock Ranma herself.

She was at first too started to return it, but eased into it when she remembered she was doing this to be rid of Kuno, 'D-does he really have ta' kiss me l-like this! I-it's like he's actually into it or somethin'... he must really wanna' get outta here… E-eww... I'm gonna' need to wash my mouth after this!' Ranma returned the passion with as much as she could muster; with her acting skills, it was an amazing romantic site to behold.

Kuno was utterly shocked, no words could be said.

"HIYA!"

The next thing Ryoga knew, something crashed into him, keeping him away from Ranma, laying flat on his back as a bike tire was digging into his chest. "You no kiss Shampoo's Ranma!" the purpled haired Amazon shouted, grinding her bike tire into him.

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Happosai

The elderly lech had been following the Chinese Amazonian in order to find the exact location of her home, (In his old age it was starting to get a little more difficult to remember things, such as locations of buildings...) and salvage some goods from dear sweet Shampoo; in this case... her panties, but when he saw that she was riding over to somewhere else other than the direction of the Cat Café, the greedy perverted master followed her. He watched from a corner as he saw Ranma and Ryoga kissing as if there was no tomorrow; that was until Shampoo interrupted of course.

"So... it seems that that Ranma-boy and Mr. Hibiki are up to something." The old man smirked. "Ooh, This'll be sooo much fun."