--Chap 1--
-CLAP
HEY GUYS!
OL’ MAN RAMBLE BOI HAS COME.
Oh wait.
I still haven’t introduced myself… Should I or should I not?
If I tell you then my privacy would be exposed and you would be able to pinpoint me without complicating it like ‘This annoying dead guy who talks in his head’.
On the other hand, if I told you my name, it will be easier rather than calling me ‘The annoying dead guy who talks in his head’.
Hmmmmm……
OK. Ze name’s…
What was my name?
Cheng chang chong, was it?
Just call me chen-chen.
So… what is today's topic? Yesterday was some philosophical shite, so what about today?
Let’s do imagination, it is my favourite! (Cause I can’t see anything in this darkness I’m living/dead in)
Hmmm.. Imagine, a chicken, a white feathered chicken with a golden beak.
It is walking, while picking food off the ground with ease… but then suddenly, something grabbed its neck and legs.
Helpless, none of its struggles were for any meaning, as the thing walked to a bloodied shed.
Inside, it was dark, but then the large being clicked on something, and light illuminated a traumatizing scene.
Blood was everywhere, on the sink, on the table, chaotically splashed on every furniture.
..Except, a shining, silver butcher knife.
It laid there, nothing staining it, seeming abnormal for its background.
Then, with a thud, the chicken was forced onto the table, and the being took the knife.
Swishhh
With a clean cut, the head was sent flying, and with that, the chicken died a miserable death..
….
How do you like that?
That wasn’t pleasant, was it..
THAT WAS PHEASANT!
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAA.
I have achieved perfection, my puns have exceeded mortal terms of comedy, now bow down to the lord, chen-chen!
...What?
The joke was crappy?
No u.
Ok, sorry, but now what..?
Hmmmmmmm.. mmMmm..
Yes.
I got it. I GOT ITTTTTTTTT
GET IT?
GE(T IT)?
AAAAAAHHHHH
ok.
Okay.. okay…
For real now, what am I to do..
I don’t have a body, so I can’t practice or masturbate.
But chen boy, can’t you solve world problems with all this time?
Yeah, I did that, and the solution was…
Fuck it.
No body cares, you can just go starve or nuke each other for all I care.
You know why?
BECAUSE I AM DEAD, HORRAAAAYYYY.
ok.
Ok….
I can’t control it, okay?
Let them die and experience bliss(torture).
But.. what if I’m not dead?
….
Is my body preserved in a facility and my mind is transported for testing?
Haha, no wa-
“Initializing simulation… downloading World 21… Enabling DLC… Activating Creative mode.. Clearing cache..”
What?
Wasn’t I supposed to be dead?
This novel is published on a different platform. Support the original author by finding the official source.
But this monotone voice that echoed…
YEAAAAAAH! I AM (barely) ALIVE!
Why did it only respond when I thought of all this.. the damage has become permanent..
But… isn’t that better?
For I have awakened my real sides, both outer, which I act as while I’m living, and the Inner, which I am on the inside, but either I don’t know it exists or am trying to ignore it.
Nothing can stop me now, muhahahaha.
“Completing world… done. Starting Player creation.”
Hmm…
This is weird, just what is this..
Out of all things, I fall into a game, tsk tsk, what a cliché.
But… couldn’t this alleviate my boredom a bit?
Let’s see.. we have two genders, male and female, so obviously I pick (fe)male.
Oh yeah, I never described this, did I?
Basically, imagine if I were the 3rd person camera following the player, but I hope otherwise.
Now then, dark purple hair… right purple eye and left blue eye, white skin and slim body, aaaaand INCREASE PENIS SIZE TO MAX.
ok.
Great, this is the wonder of my creation.
His face is pretty charming, and flows well with the hair and eyes.
Next~
This guy, what class should I give him?
Do I really have to scroll through all this list? Ugh…
Down down down… Custom Class.
Ooooh.
A pick that went to another menu, now I can create that class.
Let’s see… Name?
Broken.
Could it be acquired on birth?
No.
Could it be acquired due to external means or evolving other classes?
No.
Is it available for anyone other than this character?
Heck no.
Now I’m met with slides.
Affinity with elements..
Max to all.
Resistance to all elements..
Immune!
XP rate..
1 XP is needed for 1 level.
…
What?
I said this class’ name is “Broken”, so why should I restrain myself.
Anyways, what is next..
Stats per level?
The menu thingy shows me that for any normal class, it should give about 4 stat points, which are then allocated by that person to their respective stats.
DO YOU REALLY NEED ME TO EXPLAIN WHAT STATS ARE? FILTHY MONGREL, says the writer.
Basically Body, Mind and Luck, whereas Body and Mind are divided into substats.
But, ya’know, I can just let the class only have 3 stats, Body, Mind and Luck, the rest is on the player.
Hmm..
30 stat points per level.
If I started broken, then I end broken, AND MY MIND IS BROKEN!
ok.
Starting Health?
5000.
Pls chen boy, compare to other classes so we non-authors of this story could understand.
Fine fine.
Any class starts with 100 health, and increases along their respective paths.
SOOOOO basically mages get +25 health per level and 75 mana, where a tank, such as a Knight get 75 health and less mana.
This isn’t an actual number, by the way, it is just AN EXAMPLE that is half true.
But chen boy, how do you know all this?
I, chen-chen was blessed by the author with magical information about what the hell I’m doing, obviously.
Ahh too much talking, I want to finish this quick.
Starting mana?
10000
How many extra health per level?
50%
Hahahaha, no one can stop my abomination!
How many extra mana per level?
50%
This is the difference between Broken and the others, this one increases percentage, while the others increase with a set number.
Anyhow, I’m just about done.
Skills.
The bane of every player.
And also their saviors.
A single skill can turn the tides, heh.
I can create class exclusive skills, so I proceed to make..
* All elemental manipulation
* Crazy regeneration
* Crazy mana regeneration
* Broken (not literally) armor
* Crazy enchanting
* Crazy sexual techniques
* Ultimate something something sword style 1
Done.
Now those are some good looking skills, are they not?
Actually… there are just two more to finish this.
* Skill Creation (Limitless)
* Advanced Limiter
Skill Creation is VERRRY self-explanatory
Or do I have to explain it to you, tsk.
He will be able to create his own skills, alright? Limitless makes it so that just his imagination is enough, and any skill with no restriction will be created.
As for advanced limiter, he could basically limit his substats individually rather than limiting all of it at once, so for example, he wants to make a weaker punch, but doesn’t want his body to be vulnerable, so he limits his strength substat from the Body stat, and all is good, etc.
Anything else.. anything else…
Oh yeah, what are his starting stats like?
Normally, 10 in all stats, but let’s just let him start with 30, no?
Mhm, I’m done with the class, besides, it looks like I can update it later on.
You most likely asked but I never answered, what is Ultimate something something sword style 1?
How the heck should I know, I just wrote that for the fun of it.
THEN STOP BEING LAZY AND PUT AN ACTUAL STYLE IN THERE! I hear you screaming.
Alright, fine, let’s just look at the best ancient sword style and modify it to become indestructible.
Actually, why not make it a style where all weapons are usable, and even unarmed.
Yeah yeah, let’s do that.
Add this.. modify this… remove this useless part… combine this… done!
Ok, class making is over, please no more.
Now for the character himself.
His name is… Violett Blue, because I’m uncreative by using his eye colours as a reference.
But chen boy, does his eye colour actually have any relevance to his powers?
Are you an idiot? That is pretty clichéd and boring, go jump in a pit and join me so my suffering could end.
ok.
So, where did we stop?
Yes yes..name, done, backstory?
That is pretty tricky.. I know!
He was a normal guy, just like us, but once he died of old age, he reincarnated as another normal guy, yet with his memories and his current body that no matter how many reincarnations he goes through, he still has the same body.
So.. incarnation after the other lead to him possessing looots of knowledge.
Hehehehe, but then it got too much, so he figured out a way that will lock his memories of the incarnations but give him a vague memory.
Perfect.
Delish.
Is that all..?
Design, class, backstory.. Yeah, that’s ‘bout it.
STAARTTTT!
…
---Chapt-
Hey hey, why are we finishing at such a cliffhanger, you arse of a writer.
What?
Because the chapter is too long?
WELL MY THING IS LONGER YO-
---Chapter 1 end---