It all went to shit. And now she was wading through some mud, which looked like shit, to get to food. Food! When had she worried about something that simple? Food was always just there. But now… now it wasn’t, just how her family, her mom and dad weren’t here. The memories of them made her furious. Furious at the Heroes.

“Oh, rise against the evils! Fight for your future, for your children and mothers!” Caitlyn yelled as she looked at the bellows of smoke visible in the sky. Scars of the recent civil war were prominent even days after the sorcerous bombings the city had gone through. “Not quite the promised victory, eh?” Her hatred burned as she remembered the passion her father had displayed at the dinner table when talking about their savior.

And how long ago was that? Months? Weeks? Or maybe just a few days…

Caitlyn distinctly remembered their slogan. “Rebel and Revolutionise…” she muttered under her breath. “A bunch of empty promises that only a fool would have believed.”

Continuing while cursing, she crouched down to pass under the wreckage of a collapsed building, forcing herself through a small gap that only a petite body such as hers would fit through.

Crawling out of the collapsed structure, what came into Caitlyn’s view was a long garden circling a house. As evidenced by the holes and punctures, the structure in the middle wasn’t in the best shape. Regardless, Caitlyn’s sour mood couldn’t help but brighten, noticing how it shared no walls with other properties, alluding to its high value. Besides, such damage was quite the norm after the uprising. Caitlyn would have been more worried if the building had a more maintained appearance.

Reminding herself of the dwindling sun, Caitlyn hastened her approach and entered the house. She rushed through the outer rooms of the hall, only casting a curious glance at the surroundings. Caitlyn didn’t care about the fancy vases and the dead flowers. Nothing but food.

Soon, she found a pair of double doors. Sure that this must be where the food was kept, she pushed open the doors with a booming smile of anticipation, only to have it crumbled, as the place was completely and utterly… looted.

***

Caitlyn had been crying. She tried biting her lips to stop, then covered her mouth. Finally, she gave up.

As she sprawled on the marble floor of the pantry, she understood that she was tired. She had no anger, no remorse, and no longing left. At this moment, she was just… done. Nothing that she wished for ever happened. And it was infuriating. The feeling of not having even the basic things was shattering her worldview.

And as Caitlyn lay there and cried, her stomach hurt from the slight hunger that never left. Despite that Caitlyn couldn’t bring herself to eat the mouldy bread in her hand.

In the empty pantry, the only thing remaining was this large piece of moldy bread. A jest. A laugh in the face of whoever comes second. She thought.

***

Caitlyn weaved through the alleys as the morning sun soared high. She had fallen asleep on the cold marble floor last night and the same sleep had abandoned her as the marble turned hard. Soon after, it became a struggle to suppress a burst of emotions. A struggle that she wasn’t able to overcome instead, leaving at the first light of dawn.

Now, making her way toward her run-down home, Caitlyn saw how the city was slowly awakening. There was a fire in the far east sprawls of the city that had been quenched recently. Unfortunately, the smoke towers marring the horizon lingered, making the sunrise feel dull and grey. To Caitlyn though, it felt appropriate.

The bustle of the city had never stopped. Even through the tiring hours of the night, one could hear an occasional shout or rumbling as the debris was cleared. The same sounds continued but she supposed that there was a sense of lethargy in the air as the people came to feel the coldness of the morning wind and the tiredness of the long night’s work.

Looking around for other interesting observations, she came to a sudden halt. Directly in her path was a quiet whimper, followed by a low growl.

Alerted, she scrambled for the holstered kitchen knife in her pants. As her hand dove towards it, she understood the situation facing her.

A fight. This can be a fight. I can be killed. Dead! Just like that…

Her hand shivered with fear and the knife which she had barely been gripping, slipped.

Caitlyn wanted to cry. But then I will really die.

Instead, she focused on her enemy, whose figure revealed itself. An animal, walking on four legs, and sharp teeth visible under two small beady eyes. And it was small. Very small… the size of a puppy.

It took a moment for Caitlyn to register what the pitiful little thing truly was.

“Ha!” Caitlyn knew she was going crazy. It was getting to her. The world, the rebellion, and all the good the hero’s party brought to this city.

The puppy barred its teeth again causing Caitlyn to scoff.

She slowly approached it and the puppy growled, but Caitlyn refused to stop and rather bent to scratch the puppy below its ears.

As her finger approached, the puppy lunched forward, mouth wide open.

“Ah! Shi– you a devious little piece of work!” Caitlyn stepped back, and the puppy continued to hold an aggressive stance. As aggressive as it could manage with its small golden-furred body.

A small smile couldn’t help but break out on Caitlyn’s face as she took out the slightly damp piece of bread, tearing it into two parts. She threw the smaller part towards the pup.

Only after she watched the pup start sniffing did she understand what she had done. She had just given up on half of her lunch.

***

It followed her back. Of course, it did. It thinks I am food… or food giver… or whatever.

Caitlyn grumbled as she looked at the golden-furred little puppy sleeping below her makeshift hammock. She was truly at a loss as to what she was supposed to do with it. And so, in a truly responsible manner, the morning she had left that problem to the future Caitlyn. Now the future Caitlyn was hungry.

Like always. She grumbled some more as she climbed down from her sleeping spot and saw the puppy’s eyelids flutter. Careful, Caitlyn tip-toed to the piece of bread wrapped in the cleanest cloth she could find. While unwrapping she caught a slight glimpse of cute greedy little eyes staring fixedly on her lunch. The pup was awake, and he wanted food, again.

Sighing, she tore a small piece of the bread.

A very, very small piece for the greedy one. She thought.

Rumble!

A loud sound of rocks falling echoed near the entrance of the house.

“—is filled with shit that will fall on our head if we take a damn wrong step! What a… a… a shithole!”

An enraged voice came from the entrance as the figure of three boys, each holding various-sized metal pipes revealed itself.

Caitlyn moved fast. Kitchen knife in her hand and bread dropped on the floor.

The three boys locked eyes with her. With a glance of assurance, one of them stepped out. He wore slightly better clothes than Caitlyn and had a face younger than hers. But the arrogance he walked with, he thought himself a bigger person than everyone else in the room.

“Oi girl. Look, don’t lie, we know you looted that mansion yesterday. We saw you coming out so believe me when I say, I hate liars. You get it?” The boy at the front asserted. “So, you know what we want right? Right. Just tell me where you stashed the food and everything, and then, you simply get to live.”

“L—lo—look,” Caitlyn didn’t want to stutter. Confidence. She thought. “I- I don’t have anything ok? Whatever mansion, I have never been there, ok? I don’t want trouble, please. OK?”

Ok! Ok! Ok! So dumb! I look like a child! Goddamnit! I don’t want this!!

The boy took a step. “You… Why does everyone– why you all always just…lie?” Another step. “No! We saw you coming out. And we told you that, and still! Still, you lied to me! No one can lie to me.” He raised his finger and pointed at Caitlyn as he took another step “Never! Understand? Don’t ever! Don’t you ever fucking lie to me!”

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What? Why is he so angry… No, no, is he going to fight? Why is he suddenly so angry? I didn’t do anything! This was going wrong. Caitlyn felt that the situation was slipping from her hands.

Forced back towards the wall, her grip on the knife was slipping and her heartbeat overwhelmed her ears. She didn’t know if what scared her more was the fast-advancing boy or the trembling hand that barely gripped the knife.

She was losing control. Control of her hand, her emotions, and her life.

Suddenly, the boy’s momentum faltered. Standing in his path was a golden-furred little puppy, baring his teeth.

No. No- no no no…!! Caitlyn was panicking. She saw death flashing through her eyes as the boy gave a cold snort and raised the metal pipe.

Caitlyn squeezed her eyes shut as a loud thump reverberated across the room. Despite the closed eyes, Caitlyn could vividly imagine the torture that the boy had just invoked upon the puppy.

A shrill snort again followed the sound of approaching footsteps.

Caitlyn hated everything. And it’s okay, she opened her eyes as they focused upon approaching death. I deserve it. I deserve it because… because I don’t do anything. Ugh, shouldn’t I fight? Why can’t I move?

She heard a whimper. Her eyes snapped open and moved towards the little puppy lying dull on the other end of the room. He was dying. Flung across the room and yet, his eyes were focused on Caitlyn’s own. Unblinking. Accusing. He wants me to do something… anything.

Caitlyn sprinted forward. The distance between her and the boy was little and she soon closed it. She didn’t know why, but the boy seemed surprised by her sudden change. Without a second spared, her knee rose and struck perfectly between the boy’s legs.

A sharp gasp rang out as the metal pipe released from his hands. Caitlyn didn’t stop as her kitchen knife introduced itself to the boy’s thigh. Instead of stabbing deep, it slid off after cutting less than an inch in. Unfazed, she bent down and picked up the pipe that had rolled towards her feet.

The other two boys were frozen and her victim was gasping loudly with a painful expression,

There was no one to stop her. This was easy. The metal pole swung and connected with the boy’s jaw, producing a sweet melody of crushing bones.

Thump! The boy dropped.

One asleep…

Caitlyn thought as she looked at the two frozen boys standing ahead. Her breath was short and she felt covered in sweat. Suddenly, her hand was trembling and it felt like she had no muscle to support her body. But despite all this, her mind was clear.

…Two more.

She needed to do this. There was still a chance to save the pup and Caitlyn wasn't willing to back down. Not when she finally had control. Not when she felt powerful. Not when–

The two boys ran.

They turned around and sprinted through the path they had taken. Four steps in they dropped their metal pipes and the sound of them clattering with the ground broke Caitlyn out of her stupor.

Wha– no, no. I have no time to spare…

Caitlyn too sprinted toward the body of the pup.

He was dying.

She pressed her hands on the body of the little animal and felt his heartbeat. It was still beating. That was all she could tell.

“Stay with me” she whispered, her voice barely audible. “It had been…nice. So dont die, please.”

She bent down and slowly scooped the puppy up. Be gentle, she reminded herself.

The puppy’s eyes were barely open, the accusing look gone.

As Caitlyn stood up, she made up her mind. Only one place could heal in the aftermath of the revolt, and Caitlyn sprinted there.

She raced out of her home and towards the open streets. The sense of isolation broke as she stumbled into the hustle of the crowds. Weaving through them, memories flashed through her eyes as desperation took hold. She remembered the night of the rebellion. The expression on her mother’s face as they watched the city’s streets scream and burn, her father, in those streets as well. She remembered the sudden collapse of the building. How her mother… her mother had…

I did nothing that night. Nothing! I watched and watched and watched. Maybe… if I just stopped dad, or… or…

Caitlyn ran through the crowds. Chasing her thoughts away, as she tried her hardest not to stumble and fall. Soon she reached a large clearing where lines of people were leading to a few stalls. Guards posted everywhere.

Recruitment, for the army. Caitlyn thought. Adjacent to the stalls were large tents. Healers!

“Help!” Caitlyn shouted as she approached the closest tent. “I need a healer! Help!”

The tent flapped open as a middle-aged man with a stubble walked out. Through the closing gap, Caitlyn could see rows of people. She was barely able to focus on a single person before the flap closed. The person’s right hand had stopped at the elbow as if an immense weight had crushed everything below. It had not been amputated yet, and muscles and skin could be seen dangling low. The bleeding had been stopped by a large black band tied above. The other hand was completely missing at the shoulder, blood still dripping. This person had lost both his limbs.

“Where is the Emergency!?” The man questioned loudly before his eyes locked with Caitlyn.

“You girl!” He pointed. “Are you injured? You don’t look like it.”

Caitlyn stood petrified by the sight she had glimpsed inside the tent. The blood and gore were too much.

“Hey! What is it!” The man shouted, snapping Caitlyn out of her stupor. The smell of sweaty dog fur whiffed her nose.

“It's… not me. Not me! It's my dog! He… he got hit by…” Caitlyn stammered again. “Just help, please!”

Caitlyn knew she was fumbling this. And this mattered so much. She couldn’t fail here. So why? Why won't he understand? Caitlyn thought as she watched the urgency vanish from the man’s face, replaced with frustration as he turned around.

“A dog! You expect the mages to heal a dog?” He remarked as he walked back.

Caitlyn moved forward, the puppy still in her embrace. She grabbed the man’s wrist with her free arm.

“Please, I… beg of you. Just please”

The man whipped around, snapping his arm free. He cast another look at Caitlyn who was already on her knees with the small puppy still gently cradled in her arm. The eyes of the puppy were closed, his status unknown.

Caitlyn had quiet tears running down her face as she looked at the little body. All she could do was helplessly hold the puppy in her arm, and continue begging.

“Please, just one last help. I won’t ask more. Anything, I can do…” Caitlyn whispered, more to the puppy than the man.

This is it… all I can do is beg. That's all I can do for you. It’s all I am. She thought.

The man hesitated. The recent world he had seen, was filled with great wars and even greater causes, and all of those things, together, resulted in people like this girl. In the helpless and the powerless.

“It doesn’t matter, I am not a healer, not yet. So,” the man said, “Girl, I cannot help you.”

And yet Caitlyn didn't budge. Her eyes were no longer staring at the puppy or the man. Instead, with a face covered in fear she stared at a figure that had crept up behind the man.

“And yet, I can,” the figure said, startling the man.

“Ah, teacher, this person… It's her dog, she wants her dog to be treated” The man addressed his teacher, who was a well-dressed woman, in her late thirties. The woman was wearing a flowing dress, made with white and gold fabric. An occasional hint of blue could be seen in the lining. On her hands, the flow of the dress was interrupted by elbow-high leather gloves. The dress’s ends were tailored to not interrupt the gloves, and while the gloves stood out of place, it seemed necessary when one looked at hints of blood on the gloves.

The woman moved with an unmatched nobility, soon crouching in front of Caitlyn. All this while she was staring intently at the puppy.

Caitlyn didn’t understand what was happening, but as she looked at the unforgettable face before her, she became sure. It's her! The healer! The healer of the hero’s party! And one of those… those bastards!

Now, what did Caitlyn think she would do if she met one of them?

Was she supposed to rage? Was she supposed to spit in the healer’s face? Ask her to repay all the lives the war took?

Instead, Caitlyn quietly let go of the puppy as the healer picked it up. What can I do? I am no one. I have done nothing, ever. So, who am I to say anything?

She watched as the puppy was raised in the embrace of the woman. Slowly, golden light bloomed from it, as heals were cast.

“Abrax, what do we heal?” The woman asked. “Is it the body, mind, or something else?”

“We heal whatever we possess the ability to, master.” The man answered, with no hesitation.

“Yes, but how will you heal when you can't even identify it.” The women stood up. “Say, you have a soldier, who has nothing left. No family, no friends, not even his arms. He’s useless. And say, you have a dog, one who many care for… Now, who will you heal?”

Before the man could answer, the woman continued, “Hah, no need to think much, it’s simple really. You heal the most people you can.”

With that last statement, the healer entered the tent. The man with the stubble, soon followed after her, not bothering to look towards Caitlyn who remained on the ground, sobbing.

The whole situation was too much for her and she remained on the ground, mourning her family, friends, and dear puppy.

Eventually, her quiet sobs stopped and she stood up.

Caitlyn knew that the puppy would be safe. At the very least, safer than he was with her.

Caitlyn awkwardly dusted her clothes, while casting a look around. The various tents had people constantly going in and out. Only her tent had been quiet. She guessed it was because the hero’s healer was too important to be disturbed.

Too important…

The grace with which the woman had solved her problem. The confidence she carried and the respect that the other man looked with. All of these were imprinted on Caitlyn’s mind. But the biggest impact came when Caitlyn looked around her. For the first time, she looked beyond the mere chaos and at what was truly responsible for that chaos.

It's her. All of this is her. She had a part in all that happened to the city, I know that but… but… she also had the ability, the strength to make all that happen. That strength… where does it come from? God, how can she just… affect so many lives?

Her house was gone. She couldn't call the rubble left, her home anymore. Her father was not coming back and her mother was dead. And now she had the final slap delivered too.

And so, Caitlyn moved.

One step, two steps… Caitlyn continued until she stood at the back of a long line. At the end of the line, was a stall, registering names for the army. For the Rebellion Army, as it advances to liberate more cities.

If this is what it takes. She thought.