Staring at my teammates, who were getting ready for the next part of dungeon crawling, made me wonder how easily the course of someone's life can change.
Just an hour ago, everything was totally fine. And suddenly, with the click of someone's fingers, everything started crumbling down.
I buried my face between my bent knees, wrapping my arms around it, looking down at the clay-like soil of the dungeon we were in.
"What should I do now?" I mumbled, my voice dying midway, as I thought how my friends would be disappointed at the news. I felt like a part of my body was stolen away, giving me a phantom sensation of something that was supposed to be here but not anymore.
What a wonderful turn of events. I suppressed the curses trying to crawl out of my throat at the thought of her betrayal.
A part of me sympathized with her, and the other, the one I usually keep hidden behind a mask of innocence or kindness to appear favorable to others, kept burning with a rage that was difficult to control, which kept changing the expressions on my face.
Why give a taste of something that I was bound to lose someday?
"Dhruva, get up, bro." Dweep placed his rough and big palm gently over my head. "I didn't see you in the tent even once in the last few hours. Should've taken some rest."
I tilted my head, signaling him to remove his hand, which he promptly did.
"Go on ahead. I'll have to stay behind you guys anyways."
"Don't worry, controlling that much Kundalini should've taken a toll on your mind. You can relax for the rest of the exploration, and we'll take care of it. Just be casual and relax. Cazzz..." Dweep seems to be coming up with new vocabulary these days, I thought with a much-needed smile.
After Yashvi, our beloved chef, gathered up her utensils and stored them religiously back into her dimensional pocket, Vihaan, the sixth standard Surakshak senior leading our party, announced our departure to the following four levels of the dungeon.
It's not surprising, after all this time, for a dungeon to have seven levels. Almost every mythological term I have encountered for the past few Alik hours or Satya days had some relationship with the number seven.
Walking behind everyone, my mind returned to the events that had happened an hour ago.
Panna had summoned me after I was done hanging around with Anik and Jhanvi, but things did not go as I had imagined.
The lush green surroundings of the mango grove she was growing up in were dull in color as if the vegetation had been struck with some curse. Little did I know that the dimension reflected her mood.
The way she took time to respond, not in her usual cheerful manner, when I reached her, remembering my steps from last time left me with a sense of emptiness. After she evolved because of my level-ups, I knew she had changed, but the fact that her returning memories would impact her so profoundly was totally out of my calculations. I thought she was going through puberty or something after reaching close to level 30. But the truth was much worse.
What happened after we met again in that grove will always stay in my mind, no matter how much time has passed.
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"There's been a mistake. Deep inside, I knew something was wrong. But something was interfering with my memories. You're not 'him'. I wasn't supposed to bond with you. I can't even find you in my memories. You were not there... There was no Dhruva back there." Panna had said when I first sat beside her in the grove.
My insides had twisted violently at her declaration. The smile I had after meeting her again had vanished in an instant.
I tried to go through whatever she had said. Trying to make sense of it all. The words had cut so deep in my mind that I could repeat them word by word, even now, without missing anything. I doubt I would forget it in the future either.
I was not there. She wasn't supposed to bond with me. I had tried to keep myself calm.
"Who are you looking for then?" I had asked, trying to be positive and accommodating.
"I don't know... Maybe when I see him again, I'll remember. But it's not you. Your actions from the very beginning had been something I was trying to come to terms with. Mindlessly murdering people whenever you feel threatened, justifying your actions according to your selfish needs, my actual self would have never allowed myself to associate with someone like that." Her reply this time had infuriated me inside.
"Then tell me. Who is your actual self? What kind of a saint doesn't defend themselves whenever someone threatens their life?" I had asked back in a higher tone than usual. I felt terrible since I considered Panna as a little daughter-like existence in my life, but her words had pushed our relationship to somewhere irrecoverable already.
"I still haven't got those parts of my memory back." Her voice was solemn and quiet.
"You could have just brought this up after getting the whole truth. There's always a reason things turn out the way they do. You're still missing crucial information. Think about it again..." I stopped myself from appearing any more pathetic. I indeed liked the advantages that came with her, but to beg and keep those with me under these circumstances was below me.
I realized that the way my friends were getting dependent on me, I too was getting dependent on her. The skills I used, other than the Aksharas, were primarily derived from her. Take that away, and I'll be nothing. Even the Aksharas I make with my own skill require a base energy that can only be supplied by her auxiliary chakra points for their creation.
I was still trying to salvage whatever I had gotten from her, disregarding my pride. My pride... Is it worth the incentives I was getting from her? Thinking carefully, my pride wasn't even worth much under these circumstances, considering I hadn't accomplished anything with my own power.
Again, is that the truth? Or am I simply being humble, having awakened the root chakra?
"I couldn't go on, seeing how you have gathered all those experiences that you've fed me. I have been trying to delude myself into thinking like you, but I'm not like that. I have been trying to reach a conclusion all this time and have finally decided to choose a path that will provide me with peace. This world, I realized from my newfound memories, is not the world I used to live in. I have no idea how I even came into being here and in this form. But I somehow know that the life I led before wasn't a peaceful one, and I don't want to take up any more burdens. The direction you're moving in will only bring chaos and destruction, and I want no part of it. Forgive me, but I'm tired of duties and responsibilities." Even her long monologue had failed to escape my retention.
Her every word is still etched in my memories as if they are trying to tell me so much more, only if I had more context on who she was or where she came from.
"You're talking about duties and responsibilities... And you don't even know who you were." I, at this point, had been simply trying to rile her up, sending hurtful words without any basis, "It technically hasn't been a single day back at Alik, and we have met life-threatening dangers twice. Both times, I had to do everything at my disposal, albeit with your help. But seeing you run away now like a coward gives me enough context about why the previous life that you're talking about turned out as it did. You can't get peace if you keep running away. Peace comes only when you fight for it and are strong enough to keep troublemakers at bay."
"You haven't been fighting for your peace, Dhruva. You've been snatching it from others. Your actions back at Sutala and against the Prince of Satya will surely come back to bite you. You can't run away from Karma. Shani Devata might not hand you your punishment until you're sixteen because of an ancient decree, but you'll have to be ready. The price that you'll need to pay will indeed be hefty." She had only warned me in response to my provocation.
A bad feeling had started creeping up from the pit of my stomach after hearing her warning. Deep down, I felt I had messed things up quite a bit.
"I have only been fighting for mine and my friends' survival." It was the only retort I could have made.
After this conversation, we had sat there for what felt like hours without a single word getting exchanged.
I was furious, confused, and uncertain about the future. Panna's abilities constituted the majority of my arsenal, and being unable to access those authorities would significantly weaken me. But still, I didn't want the help of someone who had such an impression of me.
Before standing up, I had decided to finalize where our relationship stood.
"I won't take back what I have already given. The exchange had been fair. But in the future, we won't share anything. The words I had said before were not for you, so I hope you won't expect me to abide by them. I'll let you keep the two auxiliary chakras since I have gotten memories with your help, which I can't give away. I'll also let you keep the skills that you've used enough times and internalized. Consider my status window as a one-time bonus stat that increased your abilities permanently by some factor. It won't increase any further. That's all." She had made things clear from her end.
"I also take back all the permissions that I had given you before. You won't be able to use any of my senses or my memories for information gathering or your entertainment. I hope you never find out who you were, nor the person you wanted to bond to. If I find out you have been snooping around, I'll come and pluck off all your leaves." I had given out empty threats, knowing full well that I couldn't reach this dimension unless she gave me permission.
I only had wanted to let her know how disappointed I really was and how distrustful I had grown of her. She had only laughed with disdain in response.
"He wouldn't have reacted like that under any circumstances. You couldn't have been any more different than him. Go away, and keep acting like you've always been. Give me enough reason not to regret my choice. Having access to your memories until now and having gone through them... I have realized that you haven't changed. It won't take much time for you to repeat the same mistakes you did back at your previous school. You'll again end up all alone. Farewell, stranger who I came to know for only a day." Her last words had cut through my psyche worse than all the other things she had uttered.
Enjoying this book? Seek out the original to ensure the author gets credit.
With a dazed mind, I had returned from her dimension, feeling like I had left a part of my life behind.
My sense of time was now all over the place. It seemed like I'd known Panna for years, only to lose the connection over some petty argument. But looking back at it, it might have been only twelve or so hours in the dimension I was born. Or more than a week in the dimension where the Ashrama was. And... It's just getting confusing. Let's not think about it anymore.
I stared at the backs of my party members, trudging along the muddy terrain. According to Panna, it seems I haven't changed. Will these people also leave? I had wanted to make a genuine connection, unlike last time, and for that, I wanted to be beneficial to them.
But without Panna's abilities, do I really have any more worth in the team? Do I still get to stay by their side, going along on adventures and dungeon crawlings like this?
I opened the green status, which now had lost its luster. It was now a hue of dull sap green, different from its previous bright green neon hacking mode screen like those in movies.
I didn't even take a look at the stats and levels. The skills also had a line running across their names.
I realized I didn't internalize most of the active skills that I had. Heck, how would I even manage that within a week?
Whoa. I thanked the Gods as I found my passive skills still working. Them being derived from my experiences till now was indeed true.
What I had now were:
Reasoning, Intuition, Visualisation, Space Comprehension, Chitram, Chanting, Concentration, Mental Fortitude, Kundalini Conductivity and Tethering from my passives and only Akshara, Recovery and Kundalini Cloaking from my Actives.
The ones I lost were:
Prana to Kundalini Conversion, which was my ace, Skill Sharing, also one of my newer go-to skills, Parallel Processing, Field of Protection, my best AOE healing skill, one with nature, wood flesh, and bonk.
The ones I lost primarily depended on Panna and directly derived from her. It was, unfortunately, a considerable loss.
Field of protection can be somewhat imitated using tethering to connect to patients and recovery. Wood flesh with Aksharas that can be worn on my body. Skill sharing with the Tethers again, maybe? And Prana to Kundalini conversion was almost always done using Panna's authority, with the help of her status. I don't think it can imitated unless the Ashrama removes its taboo designation and directly teaches the skill to us.
I now have only 8 points of Kundalini and loads of Prana, which I can't convert.
But all was not lost. Simply thinking about possible solutions pointed me to the path that Charulata, the woman from Satya who had sacrificed herself, had paved for me.
What I needed was time, a Shakti Rekha to replenish my Kundalini, loads of concentration to make Akshara beads, and thread-like Tethers that would bind them all like pearl jewelry. And I'll need a substantial mental fortitude to be able to bring out and control such an elaborate net that will be kept stored inside my personal dimension whenever I want.
Every time, I'll have to bring some part or the whole net out, connect it to a Tether created for that session, and gain access to the entire net through it.
Without enough fortitude, my mind will collapse within seconds of controlling it. I'll have to keep practicing while slowly increasing the size.
With this, I can be helpful in direct fights, but my position in the team as a Vaidya will become empty. To compensate for that, I'll need to learn and become prominent in medicine manufacturing like Trisha, the senior Vaidya.
Let's keep taking her lessons for the remainder of this crawl. In case we come across a Rekha, it will be better if the others can replenish their Shakti and Kundalini reserves since they'll be the ones fighting for the next four stages.
I sped up and arrived beside Trisha.
"We can have hands-on training after the next level is cleared. Until then, can you keep giving me verbal lessons? I can try taking notes." I chirped with an air of enthusiasm.
She yawned and brought out a heavily bookmarked diary from her personal dimension. Sticky tags were jutting out of the diary at odd places and angles. But the red-brown leather cover seemed expensive.
Handing me the diary, she kept walking in a daze behind Laksh, who was also in a similar mood.
I guess only a new enemy can bring their focus back. Let's not bother them anymore. I somehow felt like Laksh's mood was rather infectious, his yawns and droopy eyes kept bringing our laziness to the surface. What a guy.
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"Sarpagandha. What do you need to extract from this herb?" Trisha was now conducting my third quiz session. "Describe what it looks like."
"Alkaloids from the roots, I think. White flowers... Pinkish stems??" I tried to remember the beautiful illustrations from her diary.
"Have more confidence. You're correct, but you're constantly looking for me to confirm your guesses. What will happen when you come across these herbs? Will you not pluck them just because you're confused?" Trisha scolded me with a serious face. "Haaahh.... at least you're getting them correct by the third time. Considering the diary has more than fifty descriptions of herbs, it's not that bad. Keep going through the diary repeatedly. Make sure you can see the pages even with your eyes closed. Next, Brahmi. What is it used for?"
This one I knew by heart. It's one of my Target herbs right now.
"Fleshy stems, small white flowers, teardrop leaves with the flat side on the outer part. Increases memory and mental fortitude." I answered promptly.
"Ohh, very nice. Where are they usually found?" She asked back.
"Almost anywhere, the soil needs to be moist and wet. Wait..." I realized that this dungeon was based on water and earth.
" Yep. Hopefully, we can find this herb in the final level. If we find some, I'll show you how to manufacture some brain-tingling tonics." Trisha exclaimed in excitement.
I looked down from the elevated boundary to the low-lying swampy region where the others were fighting the minion Makaras. Things were getting dull in the first two of the final four stages, but this time, the opponents were quite formidable. They were shooting water beams, and water slashes from their mouths and tails. Vihaan already had to bring out his substitute shields twice. They were holding on somewhat because of Shreya and Saiyan's curved swords that were looted from the prince. While others' weapons were making some dents in the scales of the fish-crocs, their weapons were cleaving the monster's body parts like butter.
But the Makara were quite durable since they kept their rampage on even with lost limbs and tails.
I might have made some level-ups in Kalpa's status now that Panna wasn't stealing anymore from her, but I knew that getting only two stat points per level-up was tear-inducing. Let's not waste time on that.
The things I'm concentrating on don't have any level requirements. Kalpa, Panna, all of them can shove the status windows up their roots for all I care. Charulata rocks.
Panna had been quiet for some time already, going through her motions. I had decided to give her time and space, but the outcome was like this.
I keep wasting time on useless things. Let's not even spare any thoughts for beings who don't care about me. It's crazy how I'm shifting sides between someone who was trying to kill me and someone who had been protecting me all within a day.
It's been a day already since we started the crawl for the last four levels. It took half a day to clear two levels and another half day for resting.
Today they challenged the next level right at dawn, of course 'relative dawn', calculated by taking midnight as the time when we had first entered this dungeon.
The boss of this level soon appeared, looking like a miniature 'crawling on four legs' Godzilla. With blue water element symbols etched on its body. Every time our party members attacked, it created a swirling water sphere around itself, changing the trajectory of the projectiles or slowing down the thrusts of the melee fighters.
Saiyan suddenly flashed in a burst of yellowish flames, activating his chakra for the first time in a while. His Manipura chakra, located in his solar plexus, is known for filtering Shakti to produce a fiery kundalini.
Someday, when I'll have a concrete sense of purpose and a goal, maybe I too, will be able to awaken this chakra.
The fire on his body gradually thickened and coated his weapon, flaring wildly. With a single slash, he cut open the water sphere, releasing a steam curtain all around the swamp.
"Rookie mistake." Trisha mumbled beside me, "Your chakra as a fifth standard Rakshak can never match up against a monster who's been training a single chakra all their life. Moreover, water is stronger than fire. Dweep needs to fill the water sphere with impurities and interfere with the Makara's control over its shield since he has earth-based Kundalini from Muladhara chakra like you."
"They won't forget this lesson their whole life." I whispered back, thinking how this moment would remain etched into their minds and provide a better experience than just reading elemental reactions from some book.
From the smoke screen of steam Saiyan's reckless attack had produced, Anik shot out like a meteor and crashed head-first into the muddy bank of the swamp close to the boundary.
He stayed still for a few seconds, probably wondering what had happened, and finally struggled out of the mud by flailing his limbs like an octopus.
Bringing out a potion that Trisha had made, he swallowed its contents and ran back into the battlefield after retrieving his bow that had been flung a few meters away from his impact mud crater.
The steam was still taking some time to dissipate, and the clashes of scales, leather, and metallic shields sent sound vibrations echoing across the cavern. It was a weird symphony of notes. The ocean-like swirling water sphere was now quite muddy, probably from Dweep's intervention. The rotating speed of the water was also dying down, unable to keep up its previous momentum because of the increased density.
Trisha had written what she told me a while ago in the group chat that we were all part of. I need to practice looking at the messages while being engaged on the battlefield to be an influential member too. Another thing to add to my list.
While Vihaan and Dweep concentrated on defending against the boss's attacks, the others took positions, preparing their skills to take the Boss out as soon as the shield collapsed.
The first level had a Makara boss with physical skills. Second and third, we don't know. The fourth one had some earth manipulation techniques. The fifth one had water manipulation techniques. This one, the sixth, has a water shield and water-based elemental attacks. The seventh one might be a culmination of all these skills. It will be quite a challenge, I guess.
"Get ready!!" Vihaan announced as he blocked the tail swipe of the Makara, even when its tail was glowing with blue iridescent energy. His body bent backward, his knees half drowned in the mud and stuck in place, but Dweep was right at his back to support him. He pushed until Vihaan straightened up and bent forward, taking control of the attack that the Makara had made.
Accompanying a warcry, Dweep glowed deep brown as he slammed his shield into the muddy sphere, collapsing it like a balloon that burst and released whatever it contained inside.
Consecutive sounds of arrows getting released followed the collapsing event just as planned.
Colorful missiles from our Dhanurdhars didn't miss their target, blasting off pieces of flesh, limbs, and leather all around Dweep and Vihaan. Promptly, a golden X suddenly flashed across the Makara's neck, filleting the area and its head into four pieces.
Saiyan and Shreya appeared at two ends of the X sign, as they decelerated, having taken care of the enemy in a single strike.
"Damn, that makes me want to leave everything and be a Yoddha." I whispered.
"Dream on." Trisha mentioned sarcastically, "Do you have any idea how long they have been training to activate skills like that? You might be fifteen years too late."
"I'm only twelve years old." I stared back at her, refuting her claim.
"Their roots lie in Satya. You have no idea how often they have gone back and forth between the two dimensions. One year in Alik equates to more than twenty years in Satya. Even a simple summer vacation will give them enough years to train. At this point, in terms of sword or weapon skills, you can only reach the tip of their long shadows cast by a setting sun. But never catch up to them."
Why is everybody demotivating me so much?
Trisha seemed to have accepted her situation. Maybe having a mentality like her will be better in the long run.
But if I don't compete with them, I don't think I'll improve fast enough.
But on second thoughts, no wonder Saiyan, Shreya, and Somi, the ones I knew among the seven, are so mature. They are much older than me mentally. I felt like I was forgetting about someone, and the fact that I even had to remember them voluntarily meant that they didn't matter to me anyway.
Shit, was I trying to woo someone much older than me? The embarrassment from the realization burned my ears.
Let's keep it buried and not bring it up again. It might also be awkward for Saiyan if I spring this up suddenly.
With my worth declining like the stocks of a company whose CEO got caught in a scandal, it's better not to complicate things further and endanger my position in the team.
"Good job guys!! Come up and take some rest. I'll help with the looting this time. It's too boring here with nothing to do." I shouted from the elevated camp, looking down at my friends who were smiling at each other, their eyes lit with the excitement and fulfillment of having accomplished something.
I felt getting left behind.
Saiyan and Shreya will keep getting stronger with eight stat points per level. In comparison, we will be stuck with only 2. Anik and Dweep had been training since childhood. And here I was, a total noob wondering when I could get access to Brahmi and a Shakti Rekha. By the time my strat gets ready, they'll be so much further than me that it'll be too hard to catch up.
Let's stop thinking about all these things, everything that could have gone wrong went wrong; there is no going down from here.
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Little did I know that my misfortunes were only beginning to catch up with me. If this was not Shani Devata's punishment, I wondered what would happen when I finally reach sixteen years of age physically.