It was already noon when I came out of my personal cave. It still ticked me whenever I thought about how I haven't used any proper Ashrama facilities till now. Squinting my eyes at the sun which still hadn't hidden behind the clouds like usual, because of the events yesterday, my thoughts wandered off to Somi and what she had told me a few hours ago. I sat at the pool, freshening up, and running her words one by one through my mind.
She comes from one of the ancient families who have guarded Kalpa from the Asuras. Kalpa is responsible for maintaining the barrier between the three Lokas as well as the sub dimensions between them, so if the Asuras hurt her in any way, the barriers might become vulnerable enough for them to move to the upper Lokas. She also has a little brother, to whom she wants to give the freedom of choice, free from burdens or pressure to carry the family on his back. What kind of curse is it? That makes you unable to reject orders from the other families? What kind of things did her ancestors do for them to be cursed with such a generational affliction? What is the range of orders that can be made by the other families which can't be refused by her family members? Isn't that quite bad? Especially for women? I stopped myself from going any deeper as an uncomfortable feeling rose in my chest. What the hell is up with the people who have their roots in Satya Marta? There was anger building up inside my body, trying to blow me up like a volcano from within. I hurried back to my dorm to get hold of Saiyan. I needed answers, and a lot of them.
Saiyan was taking a nap on his sheep wool yoga mat when I reached our room.
"Yo!" Anik waved once and again closed his eyes concentrating on his meditation. I could feel the movement of Shakti in front of me as it flowed into him and became an integral part of his body. Dweep was probably at the stalls for a stomach cleanup guessing from the absence of his towel and bucket. I had last taken care of bathing as well as the longer toilet yesterday, before Rakshak Vrata. Since we had skipped lunch and snacks after breakfast yesterday, and having skipped both lunch and breakfast today I was yet to feel the pressure. I'll go when I feel it and take care of both at the same time. I started patting Saiyan's back, as he slept on his chest to wake him up.
"Bro, I just closed my eyes after a heavy lunch. Why do you have to disturb me like this?" he started mumbling, half asleep.
"Sit up. I got questions." I announced seriously.
He took a look at my face and sat up straight up.
"Things didn't go well? What happened for you to have such a broken expression?" he whispered.
"Tell me about the ancient families. Are you one of them? Tell me everything you know. Please."
"Let's go out for a walk. I'll fall asleep if I sit any longer." he said and went out. I saw Anik looking at me intently before turning around and also leaving the room. It felt bad to keep him out of the loop but we were still in the process of knowing each other better. Maybe one day I'll also come to him for help like I did with Saiyan today. I also felt really grateful within that Saiyan had been putting up with me from the very beginning without any questions. If he was still repaying his debt of copying answers from me then it has already been paid back long ago. At this moment, I'll have to show my answers as well as our assignments for the next two years in return for the help I have already received. Well it wasn't a big deal. At this moment I will try to help him without even asking any questions, for most of the cases.
We started walking north, towards the Brahmastra impact site, slowly. Some students subconsciously made way for us by stepping away from our path, because of Saiyan's natural pressure. If my mental Fortitude wasn't high, I might not have been able to converse with him in such a casual manner.
"The top ranker and the Generator are in the same team I have heard." I heard whispers around us with my now sensitive ears. If things went on like this, they will be the ones who are going to sweep the Mandira Durbhavanas clean right? Isn't this unfair? Why should two powerful people be in the same team?"
"See, you aren't much behind than the chosen ones
in terms of reputation." Saiyan commented.
"I have no use for reputation. People will only start being jealous and start sabotaging my efforts just to get a kick out of it. Makes things complicated." I stated from my experience back at my previous school. When I was focusing on my transfer tests, my rank in the class had dropped down to fifth. The snickers and whispers around me in front of the notice boards or when I didn't get the top marks in some subjects, annoyed me at that time. Thinking back on it now, I was simply stupid. I should have never cared what others said about me anyway. I also heard rumors that being 'too arrogant' had finally come back to bite me in the back.
Arrogant? I just studied with my mother for two hours from 7pm to 9pm everyday. That was all I did for studies back at that school. It was also thanks to my Mum that I could study efficiently, with her having some experience with teaching children. But I knew that some people also went for private tuitions conducted by the teachers from the same school itself. There was that infamous case where a group of fifteen students who went to a particular teacher already knew the questions before even attempting the exam. There was some crazy drama. Authorities also came out of nowhere and started having parent teacher meetings with the toppers, suspected of doing the same thing. But you can just lie. Their only flaw was thinking that students were naive and would spill information under pressure. Well, the teacher was suspended along with the students for two months missing the half yearly examinations. Some idiot had also mentioned my name among the people who went to that teacher for coaching, thinking he could sabotage me since there was no way to prove themselves innocent, because of the blame game that was already going on. But the teacher himself came out to with an actual list of names, rendering me and a few others who were totally unrelated surprised. He got my respect for that.
Where was I? This abominable Swadhisthana chakra...always making me distracted.
"Yeah, so I am not interested in getting recognition. People antagonize you for no reason." I reiterated.
"Should I start?" Saiyan asked. You went quiet for sometime thinking about something."
"Just reminiscing old times." I answered, "Things went crazy often in my previous school. But it still can't hold a candle to all this."
"You left someone special there?" he suddenly asked, his voice sprinkled with drops of nostalgia. This guy...he's got his heart set somewhere else.
No wonder he's not interested in the partner choosing process. I felt empathetic imagining how he couldn't help liking someone, only to know he was going to be bound to a stranger because of the instructions of some all powerful being he can't refuse orders from.
"It is just a what-if scenario in my life, left to be thought about sometime in the future if things go wrong." I said with a soft voice. "Maybe It was just some infatuation, that made me daydream with just the slightest touches. I was assigned to carry her bags and other menial manual tasks to make sure she didn't move around much, after her appendix operation, right after she was given a seat next to me in the seating arrangement re-allocation process. It was just a case of right place at the right time, which slowly brought us together because of constant interactions that we had."
"That was a cute story to be honest." Saiyan smiled slightly. "Mine was a bit different. I could tell she really liked me."
No wonder, this guy has that attractive persona, that makes people want to be close to him.
"I was confused at first." he continued, "But slowly warmed up to her. She came around to talk whenever I was sitting alone, and shared her food with me often. She was such a chatterbox, talking incessantly whenever we were together. Things about her family, pets, neighbours, her friends...she was my best go to source of information. She was really sad when I told her I was going away, and after watching her cry... Some kind of emotion washed over me. Made me feel empty inside. I started regretting why I didn't get closer to her despite having her by my side all the time. I rarely asked about her and took her as granted. I thought it was going to be like this only, forever, making me comfortable with what I had. I had decided to go meet her everyday whenever I get a vacation. But my motivations were killed off after getting chosen. Kalpa asked us to find partners for life within the seven." he stopped probably thinking I would get a huge shock after hearing that. But I had already gone through that yesterday.
"Don't worry, she decided to become Kalpa's guardian instead. She doesn't need to participate in that process." he tried to console me.
"She already told me about that." I let him know, "Also how you are too popular among the female candidates. She asked you to stop stalking her... Sorry for making you do that. She said it might create misunderstandings between her and her close friend Ariya. After yesterday, you don't need to stalk her anyway, I guess. I blew everything up after listening to everything."
"Don't worry..." Saiyan immediately followed, "After the three worlds have been created she'll be freed. Kalpa will die after creating them anyway, so there won't be anything left to guard."
"I have seen enough stories to know things like that doesn't end up well. I know I'm being paranoid, but I have learnt from multiple examples to trust my intuition a bit." I said worrying.
"I think you can trust Kalpa." he said, "She's the only God class being who have been the most active in preserving the human race. All her actions have always been for us."
"I'll trust you for now. But at the end of it all, we'll need to get stronger. You need it to grow Kalpa's offspring, and I need to protect my people. Which includes you. You have already seen the Generator in action, so you can start depending on me a bit from now on. Give me some pointers to improve while you're at it too."
"So, she told you about her family situation?" he asked me after nodding. "She has surprisingly told you a lot of things it seems. Things we were not even supposed to disclose."
"You also knew about most of the things right? Couldn't you have given me a better warning...I know you did, but still... I don't know what to think about this anymore. About the ancient families, her curse of servitude...things like that sickened me. It made me so angry... I lost control and snapped at her making me regret it a lot right now. Thinking that she had just accepted it, and learning afterwards why she did them... I'm not sure how to face her anymore. What am I supposed to do?" I was unusually flustered after the events last night...I knew I wasn't like this. Things just were so unfair that I couldn't help getting upset at myself and her circumstances.
"Just don't end up regretting it like I do right now. When I finally realised I liked her, it was already too late to do anything anymore. Now, I don't even care who ends up with me, with things already set in stone. Before coming here, I thought I could have made it work, meeting her during vacations and giving her time. But after being chosen by Kalpa, I lost whatever chance I had with her. 'Its for the greater good' I told myself for the last few days. I can only repay her kindness by giving her a place within the new dimension that I will be a part of." he stopped for a few seconds and then continued again, "You know, I wasn't like this at all before. I was going through intense training since childhood. My head was continuously filled with thoughts of it, and my body would be aching all throughout the day. I would be gloomy all day, without the energy to interact with my fellow classmates. That's when she came and added color to my life. After that, I would train considering going to school as a reward as I got to meet her there...if only I could sort my feelings sooner. Only when I separated, did I understand what she truly meant to me. No matter what I do right now, the fact that she saved me and the care she gave me... can't be repaid by any means. What I am today, a lot of it was derived from her...before I knew, I had changed being by her side." he gave a slight smile, which slowly got shrouded with guilt.
We walked for some time. I had the need for answers, but I was not so apathetic to start asking for them right now. And I also felt grateful listening this directly from him, considering it as a sign of trust from his side.
"Are you seriously going to give up on her?" I mumbled, asking him a finality question. Whatever he says right now other than 'I don't know' will truly be what he follows in future. It will take a lot of thought and considerations behind the answer.
His eyes lit up with a powerful yellow light sending shivers down my spine. His Manipura Chakra, a symbol of his drive and purpose, manifested its fiery-wild undulating power inside him.
"Never."
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We stood in front of the northern forest looking back, facing towards the central Banyan.
"What is it in your case? You must have already moved on to be focused on Somi like this." he asked after the long silence that followed after his declaration, until we reached where we were. A full fifteen or more minutes.
The story has been taken without consent; if you see it on Amazon, report the incident.
"It was before I had an accident. I didn't come for three months when someone else was allocated to her as expected. I felt a bit upset when I saw her with someone else but at that time I had a different drive. I had no time to give to useless thoughts, I had to come here...somehow. After my accident, only two people asked how I was doing. It made me realise that there was something wrong with me, to not even have a few genuine friends. I probably wanted her to come talk to me atleast once, out of her own accord, considering I had helped her when she also was going through a medical condition. I'm sure that any feelings I had at that time have become non-existent now. She has no effect over my life anymore. I was surprised at myself when I found out about the kind of apathy I had towards her afterwards."
"That was anti-climactic." he stated, "I thought there would be some drama atleast."
D: "Wow bro. I am not writing some soap opera filled with useless drama just so that you can edit glass shattering effects in, to make it more entertaining for yourself. It happens like that in life, I guess. Some stay for sometime, while others keep darting in and out. It fears me that one day people in my life will suddenly disappear and maybe I won't even feel anything. I didn't want to be such a person. Feeling angry and frustrated for her sake yesterday first made me glad, but I channeled it in an erroneous manner, creating such a mess. If I knew of her complicated background, maybe I would have avoided her from the very beginning."
"You know what I thought when you talked with me for the first time?" he said, " This guy thinks first, talks second, or probably won't speak at all. But you were also kind of funny. Even after all that, it felt like we already knew each other. Just like we came across each other that day, maybe you were also meant to meet her. Even if you tried to avoid her. I think it would be best to let her know through Ariya that you want to talk with her. As I can't talk with her directly now. Moving on, to the main part that I have been thinking about telling you. I know that you won't blindly antagonize the ancient families without even thinking about the consequences. It will be tough for you if you do that. In both worlds. The curse of servitude her family has is tied to all seven of them excluding her's. Her ancestor had once tried to rule over all of them, bringing them to a feast and murdering them. The curse originates from her fore-father's greed only. As long as they still have that greed, of becoming powerful again, they won't be able to get rid of the curse. Two of the seven families were tasked to keep that fire of revenge burning within them. To make them more greedy for the power and the honor they once had.
After that, the Matriarch system started in her family to protect their women from dangerous requests. They cursed their own daughters for generations to come, over the already existing curse... in the name of protecting them. From a very early childhood, it was only Ariya who stayed beside her and became her friend, while we were instructed to stay away from her. The females of her family are not to be trifled with. While their sons are treated worse than dirt. Its better you hear the rest directly from her and decide by yourself. Whether you choose to become apathetic in the same way as before or staying the way you are... whatever you decide I'll understand."
"Okay, let's just do it. I don't want to keep things the way they are right now." I said opening my friends list window. Oh! I need to accept the requests from others too. After accepting Apsara and the sixth grader who only had her roll number as username, I sent a message to Somi, hoping for the best.
"I have been thinking about it since I learnt more about you." I wrote, "I think I have sorted out my thoughts for now. I acted a bit impulsively last night being confused of the weird feeling I was having inside, but now I have a good idea of your perspective. I want to talk with you again. In the same place and time like yesterday."
Let's see if she replies anything. We stood there for two hours until sunset without any correspondences from her side.
"Did she already block me?" I asked, almost heartbroken.
As the sound of continuous ringing bells filled the air we went for dinner early. I found her sitting far away with Ariya, having a gloomy look over her face.
"Her face already shows something terrible has happened. What the hell did you even say? And knowing her, if she took your words like that, she must have cared about what you said a lot." Saiyan asked.
D: "I indirectly told her that what she had been doing was fool's errand. That she was sacrificing herself unnecessarily for the sake of Kalpa. She has a lot of pride over what she had achieved, so in short I undermined all her achievements designating them as useless. But she was doing whatever she could within her capabilities, to help her family. Now that you said that the males of her family are treated much worse, I feel guilty even more. She was just trying to protect her little brother. I'll just spend the night there today, if she comes great. Nothing can be done for today if she doesn't."
We came out of the dining hall after rinsing our mouths and found Ariya apprehending us single handedly.
"You're Dhruva right?" she asked me while looking at Saiyan. This girl...
"I'm surprised at your shamelessness." she started, "The fact that you can move around without hiding your face here, after what you've done, makes me disgusted."
I realised what was happening. She might have been concerned about her after finding Somi emotional last night. She spilled things about me and here we were. And here I was thinking of sorting things peacefully.
"Ariya." Saiyan suddenly intervened, "Did Somi ask you to do this? How did you come to know about 'my friend'?"
"She doesn't care about it anymore. I just came here to teach him a lesson." Ariya declared. Some bystanders started looking at us, curious.
"You're getting too emotional." Saiyan inserted intensity in his voice. "Don't butt in between them. He was confused and took some time to sort his thoughts. They'll work it out among themselves."
"You already know how things are with her. You should have kept your friend away from the very beginning. You knew what was going to happen and still didn't stop it." Ariya was getting really emotional, "She doesn't need anymore mental pressure than she already has. It's already too much for her. Just don't add on to her regrets and burdens... with glimpses of things she'll never have."
Her last words tugged at my chest.
"What do you mean?" I asked, almost stuttering.
Ariya shook her head and just walked away.
"Guess the only choice is to wait for her message." Saiyan said, looking at her shrinking back as Ariya went further away.
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It was already sunrise when I stared into the far reaches of the horizon, that slowly took up the vibrant colors of dawn. She didn't arrive for the whole night. I kept kneading my Kundalini and making fishes to release into the pond. They kept swimming about excitedly. At least someone around me is happy. I took a deep sigh, drank some water and left the area, starting to cross the forest and come back to the Ashrama.
When I was in front of the dairy where the cows were being reared, I saw Somi, her hair in a disarray, speeding like a bullet towards the jungle in a straight line, a few dozen meters away from my immediate left.
We both stopped, after sensing each other.
I walked towards her as she stood there.
"I'm sorry. I missed your message...I..I thought.." she was panting, with her lungs devoid of oxygen.
I arrived right in front of her face and sat down there.
I raised my right hand, taking her left index finger between my thumb and index, pulling it gently down as a gesture, asking her to sit.
She slowly rested herself on the ground with a smooth and swift motion, making sure not to break the finger contact we were having. I was glad she didn't jerk it away.
"Did you catch your breath?" I asked her as she slowly controlled her breathing and nodded.
D: "Do you want to start or do you want me to?"
S: "I need some time to think about what to say since I just woke up and directly rushed here."
D: "Okay, I'll start then." I said taking a long and deep breath. "I am just a normal person who used to live in Alik Marta without any knowledge of all this. I wanted to join the Gurukul because the students coming out from there usually were known for having good manners, characters and the most important of them all, grades. When I finally came across the truth, everything turned upside down. At first my goal in life was to live a simple and peaceful lifestyle. Earning a comfortable amount of money, give time to my family back home and indulge in my hobbies a bit. I lost that after coming to the Ashrama. I found out I was actually good at something and can also help others. Taking the perspective of this new world into account, watching the slaughter of the seniors, I created an immediate goal of atleast protecting the people whom I deemed important to me. You are one of them." I stopped for a while to emphasize that part. She nodded but didn't break eye contact. Were we still touching fingers? I didn't look down to make sure. At that moment, it was like my body was in a state of meditation, with the receptacles of my neurons deactivated.
I continued, "When I imagined you standing all alone under the dark and cold sky in Kalpa's dimension, I felt incredibly agitated. Upset, as well as angry. I thought it was unfair to bind you with such a condition and waste the best years of your life. And it looked like you had already given in to this fate making me more frustrated. But I realised I was wrong after you told me about yourself. Something I never even bothered to ask. I heard about how the males of your family is treated. You just wanted to keep your brother safe from that cruel fate. I really admire that. I know I am just saying the same things but with a different tone, yet I want to convey to you that... in this brief moment, spanning not even a week, I have come to like you." I stopped, trying to judge the expression she was giving, but she was as cold as a statue right now, the same face she had when she pulled me out of the swamp yesterday. "Thinking that we would be separated, after seven years, in the future that I imagined with you, made me incredibly frustrated at my powerlessness. I thought why you weren't more selfish, why you chose to sacrifice yourself at the orders of someone else. But it was all for your family. They told me, as long as your family keeps thinking of regaining the old days of your glory, the curse will always be in effect. I don't know if it can help you or not, but I wish to support you in whatever decision you make. If you have to keep Kalpa safe until the new Lokas are created, I'll wait for you until it is done."
Hearing my words, she finally broke contact with me, looking down.
"I had an inkling that you were getting feelings for me from about the third day I guess? My heart chakra made it quite clear often. I don't think they told you more about me. Probably they want me to reveal it myself if you really mattered to me." she said looking up finally. Her face was a mix of emotions which started to churn my insides as I tried to decipher them in vain.
S: "The first few daughters of our family, immediately after the curse was cast, suffered greatly at the hands of the other families. Reduced to mere playthings. To protect themselves, they prayed to Devi Saraswati, the Goddess of Knowledge and eternal purity, to save them. She helped us by blessing the daughters of our bloodline with eternal purity, terribly cursing anybody who dared to touch us in a way that compromised it, regardless of our consent. To make sure the bloodline doesn't die away, the first child will always be a girl who would have to stay unmarried, cultivating their knowledge in service of Devi Saraswati, while the second child will always be a boy who will produce the next heir. The heir would then be brutally subjected to insult and degradation by the two families, to reinforce their hatred of them, giving them the drive to gain power hence continuing the cycle. The ancient families today have all branched out from the subordinate bloodlines. The main blood line was killed off by my forefather, robbing them of really powerful bloodline traits. Their hatred of us will probably never die out. Everybody knows about the curse of greed for power, but they can't help it. Giving up power to later have it creates a cause and effect chain. Since your ultimate goal is to gain power, even by losing it, you'll create a contradiction. Hence the curse. Such irony."
Now I finally understood what was up. What Ariya meant with her words. I thought I would get to know this much later...but it just slammed into my face like a speeding freight train.
"I was glad to know about your feelings from my chakra beforehand, but also sad that I won't be able to return it. I tried to keep you at bay, but every night I found myself at the edge of the pool waiting for you to sneakily come out of whatever hole you trained inside. I really enjoyed the silence we would share, dipping our legs into the pool. It never filled empty, and was always so vibrant. My chakra would get wild and suddenly calm down again, it was such a weird feeling. I don't want you to fall into this hole any deeper. You don't have to wait either. We were just never meant to be. I... I was never meant to be with anyone." she stood up turning away from me.
"We will work something out." I declared, but it fell on deaf ears.
"I'm sorry, I can't stay here any longer." she said with a broken voice. "Take a lesson from this I guess. Not to commit yourself too soon. Just forget about me and move on. That's all. Goodbye. Dhruva."
Is this how it concludes? In such a manner? Forget about me? Don't start kidding me. I didn't move from my spot and watched her getting further away. It would be for nothing even if I stopped her now. Move on and find someone else? How many what-ifs am I going to keep adding to my life? I am sick of them now. Instead of going back to the dorm like I was going before meeting up with her, I returned to my cave and lied down starting to absorb Shakti. A heavy feeling pressed into my chest from above. As if the weight of the whole world was now concentrated over me. This was essentially my first confession, as well as my first rejection. All for a stupid reason. For Stupid crimes that someone's forefather committed who probably have already reincarnated and died a thousand times over in all these years. Lying there, I felt a thin streak of liquid tracing down my cheek, between the right ear and my lips, till my jawline, where it dried off leaving a weird feeling along the line it had travelled over my face. My eyes started to blur, bringing about another line of liquid that followed the last one's trace.
I sat up suddenly and felt the Shakti all around me. The world was such a big place. There were huge kingdoms in the Satya Marta. So many people who were privy to the secrets of the world. I have a friend who wants to be the King here. I also have a friend who's creating a new world altogether. I don't have time to fill my mind with useless shit.
"What the fuck man. Why doesn't anything ever go my way?"I told myself, using swear words for the first time in my life. Swarga Loka, Patala Loka...so many places are there, with so many conflicts. People in Swarga and Marta have everything yet they fight and curse each other for the silliest reasons destroying innocent lives in the process.
Saiyan was bound with the curse of Kalpa, it wasn't one technically but I considered it.
Somi was cursed with one weird thing. And another crazy thing over it...The two people in my life who are closely related to Satya Marta were already living like this, like puppets controlled by invisible hands of those who have unparalleled power.
What if I want to free them? How much stronger and crazier do I need to be? How many people like me were already afflicted with curses like Saiyan or Somi? Where was this originating from? Where does the source lie? How can I even stop this from happening?
"If you truly want power to rival those beings, you'll need a different foundation." I heard Panna's voice after so long. "Which you have already created the basis for. Every chakra you awaken doubles the amount already in your body right? How many chakras in total will you have?"
"Seven."
"In numbers?" she followed up with the next one.
"Two to the power seven. 128" I answered referring to Panna's calculations itself.
"And how many auxiliary chakra will you have? And in total how many storage points?" she asked next building up towards something.
"One Auxiliary, so eight in total, 256 in numbers." I answered.
"Tsk, tsk, tsk." I heard Panna expressing her disappointment. "One Auxiliary every ten levels. I won't just give you one time sap like Kalpa. I'll keep giving you, Dhruva. As long as you keep growing. So when you reach level 70, you'll have a total of 14 storage points for Kundalini. You can then hold a total of two to the power fourteen in numbers, having an amount same as that of 128 people inside you. You're now different from them. So realise your true self, who you were meant to be. To save your friends and your close ones, you'll need at least this much power. So trust me and let's get stronger together."