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Chapter 11: PTSD

Clark woke up in a bad mood with itchy eyes. He was still sleepy, but the sun was already up, so Dad would probably come wake him up to do chores soon, anyway. Today was going to be a bad day—he had to go to bed early tonight. He buried his face in his pillow, groaning.

When he quieted down, he heard something from next door. It sounded like singing.

Clark tiptoed over into Lex's room. Lex was sitting on the chair in the corner, rocking a rolled up blanket in his arms, singing a lullaby.

"What are you doing?" Clark asked.

Lex looked up. "Shh. You'll wake him."

"Who?"

"Julian."

"Who's Julian?"

"My baby brother."

"You have a baby brother?"

"Yeah. See?" Lex lowered the blanket a little.

"Oh!" Clark petted the blanket gently. It was another game, like Warrior Angel. "So who are you?"

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Lex gave him a funny look. "You know me. I'm Lex."

"Oh." This didn't sound like a very fun game, but Clark still wanted to play with Lex. "Can I play?"

"Not right now. He's sleeping."

"That's okay." His kindergarten teacher told him sometimes he had to play what other people wanted to play, even if it sounded boring. "I can sleep. You can sing to me if you want."

"You're not Julian."

Clark frowned. "I could be."

Lex looked up and stared at Clark. He looked kind of angry.

"Here." Clark took the blanket away.

"No, no!" Lex tried to pull it back, but the blanket unravelled. His eyes went wide. "Julian!"

This was a really weird game. "Are you okay?"

"No!" Lex shoved Clark backwards and knelt down on the floor, searching through the blanket. The shove didn't hurt, but it made Clark want to cry.

But there were already tears on Lex's face. Clark came closer and patted his back. "It's okay."

"Julian."

"Here." Clark bundled up the blanket and tried to give it to Lex.

Lex shook his head, crying. "He's dead."

"I killed him?"

"No. I did."

Lex sounded so sad! He really wanted to play this game, and Clark messed it up. Maybe they could fix it.

Clark unravelled the blanket again and wrapped it around himself. "Go sit on the chair."

Lex wiped away his tears. He looked confused, but he sat down.

Clark climbed onto his lap with the blanket around him. "Do you want to sing?"

Lex put his arms the way he had them before, and Clark laid back. Lex looked really sad.

"What's wrong?"

"You're still not my brother."

"But I could be."

Lex tightened his arms around Clark. After a long pause, he started singing again.

It didn't sound very good, and it wasn't very fun, but it was comfy, and Clark was still tired from last night. He closed his eyes, tucked his face against Lex's shirt, and fell asleep.