With Maybell buying him Peter Cottontail shots, and Wolfe fawning over his furry white face, Bad Bunny opened up like a book. All his bounty hunting henchmen could do was shake their heads in wonder as he spilled the beans.
"The Panda Overlord has his paws in many nefarious things," Bad Bunny boasted to Wolfe. "He prefers doing business that way."
Maybell tried her best to be nice. "Like stealing from honest men?" she asked.
"He'd rather steal things that have already been stolen."
"Those cigarettes were Heinemann's, fair and square. And the Panda killed his partner to steal them."
Bad Bunny's face twisted up in a snarl. "You don't know what you're talking about!"
"Yes I do."
"The Panda doesn't take from honest men. He steals from mules—from those who steal things first."
"Heinemann killed the mule that killed his partner, and took his own cigarettes back."
Bad Bunny twisted his face up again. He seemed to always be twitching. "How many cigarettes are we talking about?" he asked.
Maybell stared him down. "You honestly don't know?"
Bad Bunny became agitated, bouncing up and down on his stool. "I don't even know who this Heinemann is."
Now it was Maybell's turn to twist up her face. "They do!" she hollered, jerking her thumb at the hunters still sitting beside the door. "They're waiting for him to come in here."
Bad Bunny stopped talking and made odd noises instead, muttering and chumbling and growling. Maybell gave the barkeep a nod, indicating she wanted another round of shots. He delivered an Irish whiskey to her, and a brandy and schnapps to Bad Bunny.
"Why isn't she drinking?" Bad Bunny asked of Wolfe.
"Oh!" Wolfe squeaked. "I don't drink."
"Why not?"
She shrugged. "I've never been to a bar." Bad Bunny hopped up on the bar again and sniffed the rim of her glass. "It's just juice," she said.
"Pineapple juice!" he announced.
"Uh-huh."
"You should have a pina colada!"
"Uh… I should?"
"Yes!"
Bad Bunny ordered the barkeep to make one, while Maybell tacitly gave her approval. Wolfe took sip of the drink through a straw. Then she took a huge gulp.
"Well? Well?" Bad Bunny asked in anticipation.
Wolfe took another big swig. "Oh! It's delicious!"
Bad Bunny puffed up with pride. "Ah ha! I knew you'd like it!"
"Could you please not stand on the bar?" Maybell asked politely, yet perturbed.
Bad Bunny hopped back to standing on top of his bar stool. He put his face near Maybell's. "You know, the Panda sent me here to watch you."
"Yeah. He's waiting for Heinemann to show."
"I told you I don't know who he is!"
"Then what does the Panda want with me?"
"Well, you're a trader. Right?"
Maybell shrugged. "Yeah. I guess."
"And a bounty hunter too."
"I used to be, but go on."
"So he's probably waiting for you to get robbed, or for you to go after the bounty on someone who's a thief."
"That's ridiculous."
Bad Bunny did his best to stay calm, sputtering a bit before speaking. "You know, he's pretty pissed at you!"
"At me? What did I do?"
"Those cigarettes were worth thousands of creds! Tens of thousands!"
"Closer to a hundred thou, actually," Maybell conceded.
"And this Heinemann guy gave them to you!"
"I thought you didn't know who he was."
"I don't! I only know you got the grits! Why? How is that possible?"
"He likes me."
"And you gave them to somebody else!"
Maybell had left the cigarettes Heinemann gave her on Sara Jane's ship, and in her care. Maybell also never claimed her share of the profits from their sale. It became clear to her how that might anger a thieving snob like the Panda.
"Maybe if I talked to this Panda friend of yours, we could work things out. He sounds like a reasonable guy."
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"The Panda Overlord does not reason! He wants to profit from you!"
"Well… maybe we could work on that too."
"How? What have you got? You've got nothing!"
Maybell pursed her lips, growing angry. "You've got a lot of gumption saying that to the woman who's buying your drinks."
Wolfe piped up in her squeaky voice, sounding a little drunk. "Hey, could I have another of these peenie colada things? They really are delish."
"Ah ha! I knew you would like them!" Bad Bunny said.
"You do know you repeat yourself?" Maybell asked Bad Bunny in disgust. "Right?"
Wolfe leaned far around Maybell, to get a good look at Bad Bunny. "And I'm going to repeat myself," Wolfe said, "and say that you're cute."
Bad Bunny's face would have turned red, if not for being covered in fur. He twitched almost uncontrollably. "Oh shit!" he then said, hopping down from his stool to hide at Maybell's feet.
Maybell eyed Bad Bunny, who hunkered between her legs under her stool. His nose wiggled as he sniffed the air while holding his ears askew. One he held flat to his head, while the other stuck straight up and swiveled, like a radar honing in on a signal.
"What in the sam hell are you doing?" Maybell drawled, looking down at him.
"Shut up!" he hissed back. "You don't know I'm here!"
"Oh. In that case, then—" Maybell took the opportunity of Bad Bunny's strange behavior to drink his shot of brandy and schnapps. She then made a sour face. "Ugh. You're right. These things are terrible."
"Shut up!"
Wolfe's bat ears turned toward the sound Bad Bunny had honed in on. She turned her head next, towards the door leading in to the bar. A woman glided through it, looking odd even for a genetic. She was squat yet muscular, with a body shaped like a kidney bean. A brown leather bill sat on her face where her nose and lips ought to be, and a helmet sat strapped to her cinderblock head.
She glided around the saloon with skates on her big flat feet. "Do you know a… a roller derby queen?" Wolfe asked, as the woman seemed to be searching.
"Shut up!" Bad Bunny hissed again, too loud to go unnoticed, even by a platypus wearing skates.
Maybell leaned both arms on the bar and talked to her mirrored reflection. "Well, unless she thinks I've got a big white boner going on, she's going to see your ear poking up over my crotch."
Instantly, Bad Bunny pulled down his ear. Too late, though, for his platypus girlfriend not to notice. She slowly skated towards him.
"Get your damn rabbit-assed face up here where I can see it," she said, dripping sweetness.
Quietly, Bad Bunny obeyed. "Sneaky and nefarious?" Maybell snarked at him, while ordering a Coke on his tab.
He groaned. "Oh will you please shut up."
The platypus thought Bad Bunny was talking to her. She swung a stubby arm and clipped him on the nose. In shock, he covered it with both hands, muttering through his fingers.
"Don't tell me to shut up!" she said.
"I didn't! I was talking to her," he said, indicating Maybell.
"You can hit him again, if you want," Maybell said to the platypus, taking offense at Bad Bunny. The platypus obliged, this time striking Bad Bunny on his hands.
"Ah!" he said. "What the hell?"
The platypus sized up Maybell and Wolfe. "Have you found a replacement for Rita?" she asked Bad Bunny. He only chumbled and grumbled. "Neither of these two will do," she said next.
Now Maybell took offense at the platypus. "Ah…" Maybell began, trying hard to be nice. "Will do what?" she asked.
The platypus could snarl more menacingly than her mate, but with a duck bill for a mouth, it sounded like a quack. "Can you even skate?" she asked Maybell, with derision.
Maybell eyed the odd looking queen. "What's it to you?"
In response, the platypus clipped Bad Bunny again on the nose.
"Ah!" he exclaimed. "What the hell?"
Wolfe slurped loud on her straw, drawing the attention to her. "Could you please stop hitting him?" she asked. "We were having a nice conversation until you came along."
The platypus glided over to Wolfe, to snarl into her face, until Maybell intervened. "No, we weren't," Maybell said in regards to Wolfe's comment. She gave a nod in Bad Bunny's direction. "I caught this guy spying on us."
Bad Bunny protected his nose from another smack. "Ah!" he said, just in case.
Maybell continued with the platypus. "Exactly what do you think he's been doing?"
"We need to replace Rolling Rita, our biggest inside blocker. She bruised her hip at the meet last night and can't skate." She sized up Maybell again. "So. Can you skate?"
Maybell laughed. "I am not putting on skates for you."
The platypus gave a harumph. She turned to Wolfe. "How about you?"
"Oh. I don't skate."
The platypus harumphed again. "No. I don't suppose you do."
Maybell switched into nice mode. "May I please ask your name?" she asked the platypus.
"It's Kickass," she said, giving her derby name. "Kickass Kiku. I'm the star jammer on my team."
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Kickass Kiku [https://i.imgur.com/1S7LyIN.png]
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Maybell stuck out her hand. "Pleased to meet you, Kickass." The platypus only stared, until Maybell retracted her hand. "This guy says he works for some Panda."
"The Panda Overlord sponsors out team. We need a blocker to replace Rita."
"And you think one of us would do that for you?"
"No, I don't," Kiku said. "Rita weighs in at two-fifteen. I doubt the two of you even weigh that much together."
Maybell struck a girlish pose, while Wolfe gave a slurp on her straw. "Well, we don't," Maybell admitted. "So I don't think we can help."
Kiku glided back to Bad Bunny and continued berating him. Maybell rolled her eyes at Wolfe, indicating her displeasure with the situation they found themselves in.
Wolfe finished her second pina colada with a final gulp. "I can get us out of here," she burbled while also burping, obviously tipsy.
"Okay," Bad Bunny said. "Let's go."
"You're not going anywhere," Kiku said, smacking Bad Bunny on the arm, to get him to look at her and not Wolfe. "You're gonna help replace Rita."
Wolfe turned to Maybell, seeking her approval. "You're not gonna like it," Wolfe burbled. "It's loud."
Maybell glanced at Bad Bunny, who was about to get clobbered again, and at the two bounty hunters still sitting beside the door. "I'm for anything that ends this scene," she said.
Wolfe slid off her barstool to stand, and flexed her shoulders a bit. "Okay," she said. "Cover your ears."
With sweet girlish charm, Wolfe took in a deep breath. When she opened her mouth to exhale, all hell broke loose from her face. She screeched so loud that Maybell was sure she'd break every glass in the place.
"What the hell? What the hell?" Bad Bunny hollered, pulling down his ears with both hands.
Everyone in the saloon had a similar response, except Wolfe, who bolted for the door. Maybell was hot on her heels. She grabbed Bad Bunny by the back of his collar, dragging him along as she ran.
"What in the mother of fucking hell?" he hollered next.
Wolfe's screech turned into giggles as she raced through the jump-ship lot. When Bad Bunny had gained his composure, she gave a cute little screech at his face.
"Ah!" Bad Bunny said. "What the hell?"
Maybell hopped on her monocycle. "Come on, Wolfie!" she called. "Time to go!"
But Wolfe's eyes were all about Bunny. She watched him head for a tricked out Vespa scooter, definitely mod all the way.
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Bad Bunny's Vesper Scooter [https://i.pinimg.com/originals/dc/f3/b1/dcf3b145744203be9ff23230c8217cdf.jpg]
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"I'm riding with him!" she called to Maybell, beating Bad Bunny to his ride. She sat on the seat and bounced. "Let's go!" she squeaked through her giggles.
Bad Bunny hesitated for a moment, before firing up the engine and tearing after Maybell. Wolfe squealed with glee, throwing both arms in the air. When Bad Bunny almost threw her off while making a sharp turn, she wrapped her arms around his tummy.
"Hold on!" he told her when she let go again, to squeal and giggle some more.
Wolfe ripped at the Velcro of her dress, letting the wind pull it off her body. She balled it up as best she could, and stuffed it under the crotch of the cargo shorts she wore underneath. Now topless, she pressed her warm furry breasts to Bad Bunny's back, and squeezed him tight with her arms, wrapping her wings all around him.
Bad Bunny heated up like a furnace. His heart and breathing rate soared as Wolfe whispered in his ear like an angel.
"Keep up with her. She drives like a maniac."