“Oh.”

I had a realization, standing in the empty room the giant hawks used to be in, before we killed them all for about 25 XP each.

“I think I get the puzzle now. I was probably supposed to ride one of them out the window and into the next floor up.”

Biologist’s eyes bulged out.

“Oh my God that totally sounds like something they would make you do!”

She buzzed out of the window and came fluttering back down.

“Was there another window somewhere higher up?”

“Yeah. right above this one.”

“Damn it! Now what? Did I softlock the game?”

“No, a stalemate should be impossible. You either have to win or lose.”

I pulled out some rope from my backpack.

“Here’s an idea. See if you can take this up through the higher window and tie it somewhere in the room, then let it dangle down. I could probably climb up as long as it was tied to something stable, like a statue or something.”

I gave Biologist the tip of the rope. It was pretty small to me, but it was about as big around as her whole body. She had to wrap her whole arms around it, but she was able to fly with it. I waited impatiently as she flew up and out the window. It took about ten minutes, and she came back sweating, but the rope was dangling out the window just like I was expecting.

“Thanks Bio, you’re a lifesaver! What’s it tied to? Nothing unstable I hope.”

“A big pillar in the middle of the room. It’s connected from the floor to the ceiling, and it’s really wide around. That’s why it took me so long to tie it up, so you better be appreciative!”

“And the knot is stable? I don ‘t want to think about what would happen if it came undone.”

“Of course it is! Fairy magic is great at stuff like that.”

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I hesitantly grabbed the rope outside the window. I’ve faced numerous challenges like this before, but this one was scaring me almost as much as the murder clowns on floor 201. My hands were filling the inside of my gloves with sweat. I tried to wipe my brow, but it was under my badass knight helmet. I took a deep breath, and leaped out the window.

The rope held on, which was a great relief, but I was still dangling miles in the air. I needed to get up, and fast. The window was about 15 or 20 feet above me. Hand over hand, I very slowly ascended towards the room above me.

I still don’t really get why I’m doing all this. Is the princess really that important? Why am I putting my life on the line repeatedly for her? I’m not really sensing the motivation—

“Oh fuck, Mina come back down!”

There was a loud sound coming from above me. I had no idea what it was, but I wasn’t trying to find out myself.

“What, what is it!?”

As I hurried back down the rope, Biologist flew up past me to look into the room the rope was attached in.

“The pillar, it’s crum-”

Then, I heard the loudest noise I’ve ever heard in my entire life. A massive crack must have formed through the pillar. Fuck, it must have not been as sturdy as Biologist thought!

Oh shit, wait. That’s not the only thing cracking.

Oh God. Oh God oh fuck. That pillar must have been load-bearing.

The entire tower is beginning to crumble.

Right above where I was holding the rope, a massive crack formed, spanning the entire width of the tower. Dust and rocks began spewing out of the holes forming. I didn’t even notice all the rumbling until now.

“Biologist, get back in the lower window, it’ll be safest there!”

“But what— what about—”

“Don’t worry about me! I’ll be fine! Protect yourself!”

“No, really, Mina, I think you—”

I didn’t make it all the way back down in time. I instinctively clenched as I saw the upper half of the tower lean in my direction. All too fast, I felt a rain of stones and debris down on my metal armor. I’m strong, but not strong enough to hold on to a rope while being assaulted with literal tons of stone. I lost my grip, and began my freefall towards the ground.

That is, if the ground was even still there. It’d been months, maybe a year since I saw it. I guess I lost my faith in it. I wondered how long it would be until I hit it. I was really high up, but it had to be less than 5 minutes, right?

There I was, helplessly falling in the midst of the crumbling castle. I hope Biologist is okay. I’d hate myself if I got her caught up in this too.

I remembered my other friends that I left behind in the mortal world. I hope Rose is being nice to Bunny. And I hope Bunny doesn’t feel too guilty for killing me. I don’t know what got to her, but I trust her. She wouldn’t kill without reason, I’ve seen that myself. I hope they’ll take care of each other.

Oh, there’s the ground. I don’t have much more time, so I’ll just say this: I don’t regret an—