Organization is soothing to me. It's a mind-aid, letting me seperate things in a way that makes them less confusing. But in order to categorize things, you must understand them on some level. When you finally take the time to understand them, it seems less like they need organization to begin with. It's really about memory. I organize to remember and understand. Not that I really understand anything as it is now.
For the last few days Bunny and I have just been lazing around. Turns out, she's the kind of person whose eyes become glued to the TV when there's something on. Even though her expression rarely changes, I can still see her toes curl a little bit during exciting moments in a movie. Cute.
That's in the past, though. Today we needed to concentrate, at least a little bit. I found an old whiteboard that had been cast away in the back of my closet for a long time.
"There's been so much happening to me lately that I'm having trouble keeping it all in my mind. That's why I need your help, we're going to make a study guide."
"A study guide?"
"Yeah. Or maybe something more like taking notes in a lecture. That was the only way I could keep myself to pay attention in class. Words are nice, but pictures help a lot more. Let's get to work."
I wasted the next forty-five minutes trying to draw cute chibi heads for us before giving up and wiping them off.
I drew headers for myself, Bunny, Rose, and Biologist; each color-coded. I made a list of things underneath that I need to remember about them.
How much do I really know? How long until this needs updating? I thought about these things while I wrote. I was being very careful with my handwriting because it doesn't look too bad when I focus. I had Bunny help me remember what exactly Biologist was saying when she was here. Her memory is surprisingly sharp. I sort of stopped paying attention around the whole “beasts” thing, anyways.
(A mildly sloppy set of multicolored notes on a whiteboard. It lists a few previously-established details about the four characters mentioned, along with a small tally of which chromatic beasts were said to have died, and which remain.) [https://i.imgur.com/qFFJiI2.png]
“How does this look? Am I forgetting anything?”
“I think it's good.”
I only spent about twenty minutes on it, and most of that was making sure I wasn’t writing all sloppily. It helped me to better highlight some gaps in my knowledge. Oh, and there was something else I meant to ask about.
“Hey, Bunny. What exactly was your relationship with Rose?”
“I guess… we were roommates. For a while.”
“Did you go to college together?”
“She went, I just lived with her.”
“So why did you stop?”
“I guess… I started spending less time there. Eventually, I wasn’t living there anymore.”
“...Oh. I see.”
I didn’t, really. I’m not sure how someone can just slowly stop living somewhere. Certainly there has to be a finalizing moment where you, like, take your toothbrush from the bathroom. That’s something that’ll always signify where you live. Maybe her’s is still in Rose’s bathroom, gathering dust. I wouldn’t be surprised.
These days have been pretty uneventful (with a few notable exceptions), but I can feel that will be changing soon. From what we could gather, there are four of nine “chromatic beasts” left that will be trying to kill me. Though, considering one was a gun and another was a weird person with said gun, I don’t know what to expect. It might be best not to expect anything.
I felt myself nodding off on the couch, so I stood up and did a big stretch before I faded out all the way. It’s dangerous on my couch now. I’ve set it up very comfortably for Bunny during her stay. Speaking of which...
“Hey, Buns."
“Hm?”
“How long has it been since you’ve brushed your teeth?”
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“A while.”
“Remind me to get you a toothbrush sometime.”
The next few days I felt rising anxiety. Nothing bad was happening, but I could sense something was wrong. Or rather, something would soon be wrong. It was in the air, It had a scent almost. Every moment I wasn't completely occupied, I was contemplating what could happen to me. I didn't really take Biologist seriously at first, maybe she seemed too non-threatening, or maybe I was just too confused, but now its severity is dawning on me. If she's right (and I'll bet she is), the gods themselves are out to get me. What can I do? How can you fight gods?
With demons, I bet.
I began writing a message on my phone.
"Hey, Rose. I want you to tell me why I have a demon inside of me. No more bullshit, I really need help."
A few minutes later, I received my reply.
"Well, to tell the truth Mina, I'm feeling a little hurt by you recently. I worked very hard on my evil villain speech for you, but you were not very appreciative. In fact, I don't think you've appreciated anything I've done for you lately."
"Huh? What have you done for me to appreciate?"
"See, exactly. You don't really care about me. But I'll tell you this, at least. Choronzon might be a headache, but he's not going to hurt you. Possession is a two-way relationship. He only has as much control over you as you have over him. Does that make you feel better?"
Infuriating comments aside, I think she was giving me actual advice. I always imagined possession as giving up total control of yourself to someone else. But if I can possess a demon, then… doesn't that mean I might have super awesome powers? I should check real quick.
I grabbed a bunch of stuff and stood out in the middle of my small backyard. I was going to start in the house, but my countertops are easily damaged. Bolts of magical energy probably would leave nasty scratches on them. While doing warm-up stretches, I noticed Buns staring at me from the kitchen window, eating my crackers again. Is she using me as a TV? Alright, whatever. Let's go.
Zap from a Harry Potter-branded wand: failed.
Kamehameha Wave: failed.
Fire/Water/Earth/Air-bending: failed.
Magical girl transformation: failed.
Yellow dino morpher: failed.
Blowing black smoke: failed.
Waving my arms around and speaking in tongues: failed, but seemed to have summoned my neighbors from their house.
I quickly retreated back inside, and Bunny welcomed me back.
"So… Did it work?"
I was soon back in my room, staring at my machine blinking words at me.
GRAB.
ROCK.
HALT.
PETS.
Something was going to happen soon, I could tell.
PROP.
LACK.
GOLD.
PAWN.
Whenever it did, I wanted to be ready. There's something I can do about this; there has to be.
WISH.
YOUR.
ICES.
PELE.
All I need is a hint. I'm feeling so directionless, just a finger pointing in the right direction is all I need. I don't want to live in anxiety forever.
MOLD.
TRAP.
WENT.
LOFT.
Hey, Choronzon. Can you hear me? Maybe you've been waiting for me to submit myself to you before you give me cool stuff; but sorry, I'm not really in that kind of mood tonight.
MATT.
SLOT.
YARN.
PELE.
You've been with me for a while now. Are you satisfied with this? Watching a dumb girl laze around, ready to be attacked and killed at any moment like a gazelle who couldn't outrun a pride of lions?
PICK.
PELE.
GOLD.
PELE.
I'm sure you don't like being inside of me any more than I do. It's time you start pulling your weight. The sooner you help me fix my problem, the sooner you'll be free again. So give me some help, damn it!
GOLD.
PELE.
GOLD.
PELE.
Hmm?
GOLD.
PELE.
GOLD.
PELE.
GOLD.
PELE.
GOLD.
PELE...
I watched it blink for twenty more minutes. It never stopped oscillating between those two words. Gold I understand, but I have no idea what a "pele" is. Whatever secret message this may be has been lost on me. For now, at least.
It's rare for me to do this, but I went to unplug the machine's power supply from the wall. I just couldn't shake the vague feeling that it had done its job. This could mean nothing at all, I don't even remember what I was trying to make it do in the first place. Although, I'm not so naïve as to believe in coincidences when there's a demon around.
I’m not sure why I hesitated, but I’m glad I did, because the whole thing exploded into fire a few seconds later.