///___///

"Why do you have a Numinous Treasure?"

"This?" I hold up brick-chan- no, no the brick isn't a chan. I hold up the Lordly Brick of Divine Might.

"Yes, that. A strange one. It doesn't look like anything I've seen before." Shan humms audibly, well audibly to me as Green and Blue haven't once reacted to her speaking. I had to explain to the two of them that I wasn't speaking to them when I talked to the air. One of my better explanations if I do say so myself.

"Silence dogs, don't waste this one's time by asking things beyond your comprehension."

A good explanation if I do say so myself.

I had even discovered something. If I speak in one-word sentences I can seemingly say stuff without insulting people. Well, it's closer to 50/50.

"Imbecile."

"You brat! What do you mean by this disrespect!?" Shanny rages.

"To think this could be just any Numinous Treasure." I scoff, okay I don't know where you're going with this one Rongy mouth, but consider me amused so far. "Have you ever laid eyes on something truly invincible before? Something even an immortal could never hope to break with force?"

"That… you couldn't mean… no that's not possible, that'd be too…" Shan please, say a complete sentence, I beg of you. Don't be mind broken over a fucking brick!

Instead of responding in fear of breaking the spirit further, I scoff haughtily and put the brick back in my ring. Then I look out the carriage window and just silently judge the rolling hills around us.

Yes, just a week after buying an Inn I'm leaving it behind. After buying said Inn, I used all five of the Essence Refining Pills. I considered buying a fancy body cultivation manual or using the one from the Xiang sect. I decided against it. One can cultivate the body without a manual, it's just a manual usually has them attuning their body to one thing or another. Seeing that one of my gimmicks is stealing other people's unique Physiques, I don't know if that'd be a detriment to me or not. So I just decided to follow the path of no specialization.

I'm now sitting at almost as high a level of Essence cultivation as Qi. The seventh Step of Muscle Altering, from just five pills. I'd consider that a good deal considering Xiang Rong's not worked out a day in his life. Shan considered it bullshit. I really do fear for this spirit's mental health, even if she insists mental strength is her specialty. I wonder how easily it would be to mind-break a ring-bound spirit that wasn't a specialist in mental arts? Eh, I'll think of this when the time for it comes. For now, I'm just thankful I don't need to scrape black sludge off my body again for a while.

As for my Qi cultivation… I'm still at the 9th stage of Foundation Establishment. I would have just broken through to Core Formation, but I was stopped by Book-chan. I got the vague feeling of the time not being right sent to my mind by the book. Hey, Book-chan has never led me wrong, I'm trusting the Demonic Sentient Book. I do, however, decide to hide my cultivation. The Shade Serpent had it as one of his most basic techniques in his manual. So to everyone else, I'm still a freshly made Foundation Establishment Cultivator.

As for the Soul Nurturing Pills, I tried one but nothing seemed to happen. Shan seemed to have started doubting her alchemy ability that day. Eh, not like it's my problem. As for the other loot I'd gotten from Cheng, most of it is just sitting in the ring waiting to be used or sold at the auction.

Which is where I'm heading. The capital of Huanglong, Huangjing. Truly, Cultivators are the height of creativity. I roll my eyes at the thought. Then I have to ignore the feeling of reproaching my two servants for flinching. Oi, you fucks don't need to be that scared of my annoyance! You're just making me more annoyed!

Moving on, the auction. The Inn had one of those fancy carriages that some places have, so buying the Inn had the carriage as a bonus. That's what we're using now as we head to the auction. As for the man driving it, I've been calling him Grey since he only has a grey halo. Now my collection of servants with halos before being chosen by heaven is almost complete. I just need a black one to complete the collection… That came out wrong. I meant I need a black halo servant… that's not any better. I decide to stop thinking along this line of thought. Amitābha- wait, I know what that means now and that doesn't help here, fuck!

"Young Master Xiang! We have a problem!" Grey calls out from outside, and my bad mood skyrockets. Hell, even my brow twitches. Whichever moron decided to cause trouble for me right now is about to have a really bad day.

"Young Master, should I deal with it? I've reached the first stage of Qi Gathering as per your orders." Blue suddenly asks and I blink at him. The fuck you say? Bitch it's been a week! You have an utterly shit manual! Why are you the way that you are? Fuck this, I'm gonna deal with this quick then contemplate life or some shit.

"This humble Lord will deign these ants with his presence for the first and last time of their pitiful lives." I wave him off, quickly, regally, leaving the carriage so as to not smack Blue for being so god damned protagonist-like. Now, let's see what the problem is here.

A mix of men and a few ugly women I think. Crude weapons, not fit for the lowest of cultivators. Mismatched armor, obviously scavenged from previous encounters, each piece a patchwork of metal and leather. They've positioned themselves surprisingly strategically across the road, blocking any path forward, and a few blocked the road behind the carriage. As soon as they saw me their eyes glinted with greed, some even laughed. I too, feel like laughing at the fact morons like this actually exist. Seriously guys? Not a guard in sight, super expensive looking carriage, a single young man steps out? I don't even have my armor on. It's fucking obvious I'm a cultivator.

"Well well well, what do we have here."

I'm not doing this today. Fuck this in its entirety. Unfortunately, I can't get the bandits behind the carriage with this move, but they'll probably run off after seeing it. What is that move? Oh, it's just slotting in the Ancestral Heart Destroying Physique then blasting everyone in front of me with my Madness intent.

"You… what are you plotting?" Shanny asks hesitantly, seemingly seeing my change in attitude. I don't respond to her.

"All of you… Kill yourselves, now."

Before my eyes, the road gets covered in blood.

///___///

A very short time later

"My lady, we caught a few bandits running in terror from what they say is a demon wearing the face of a man."

She raises a brow. "A cultivator then. They must be on their way to the auction as well. Carry on with the trip, we'll let the city guards deal with the captured bandits." She orders her Guard Captain.

"As you wish." He bows and goes to do just that.

Only when they reach the scene those bandits fled from does her expression twist.

She and her guards are horrified at what they see.

The story has been illicitly taken; should you find it on Amazon, report the infringement.

///___///

Elsewhere…

A chosen of Heaven makes his way through the thick forest on his way to the capital city, Huangjing, for the Hundred-Year Grand Jade Auction. He stops in place for a moment, then leans behind a crevice to pick up a rare Yang Herb. Then he continues on his journey.

This occurrence frequently happens: rare herbs, lost artifacts, feathers and fur from sacred beasts, etc. The man is significantly slowed by how much he's stopping to pick up, always trusting both his luck and instincts.

Suddenly, he pauses, not to pick something up, but because a cold shiver traveled through him. Something has happened. Something wrong, an opportunity was lost he feels and he doesn't know what. Then he smells blood coming from the road.

Whatever it is, it's best if he stays away from what could cause that. Looks like he's continuing on the long forest path.

Shun Fang will arrive in time, his instincts are telling him he will.

///___///

Back to our 'hero'

We stopped at a village I won't be bothered to remember the name of. Both because it's in character, and I really just don't care. I'm still feeling moody for some reason.

"Master, we should head to the Inn," Blue says from my side. He seems to be aware I tolerate his presence as he's generally the only one to speak up. Green apparently is just a little dumb so he's been told to keep his mouth shut. As for Grey, the man pales every time I look at him after I had him drive the carriage over the pools of blood. Hey, I at least used my Qi to push the bodies aside. Fuck it, if he feels so squeamish he should build up immunity.

"You, clean the blood off the carriage. Green, try to look less incompetent, Blue guide me to the Inn."

"Good, he can serve to be less squeamish. It was just some bandits." Shan echoes my thoughts exactly. Honestly, she's my only friend so far outside of Book-chan. Even if she doesn't seem to think so herself.

"Should I order a bottle of wine and let you retire to your room?" Blue asks, proving he has what it takes to be a proper butler. If he wasn't a Chosen of Heaven with a physique I kept being tempted by I'd be happier.

"You dare say I drink dog water?" Rong translation; No thanks, I'm good.

"Of course not, Master. This humble one begs your forgiveness." He calmly gets on his knees and kowtows… this man is getting too used to me and I'm not sure how to feel about that.

"Hmph. Lead the way to the Inn before I cripple your legs."

"Right away, Master."

"I don't know how they're so loyal to you."

I've no clue either.

Unfortunately, I alone am the one to hear my thoughts. Seeing that we parked the carriage at the Inn, it's not a long walk to the door. Blue pushes the large wooden door open with a loud creak, immediately following the flow of conversation inside cut off. I stepped inside, and whatever murmurs were left also ceased as well. A 'natural to this body' sneer comes to my face as I glance at the many patrons, travelers for the most part. A sea of grays and greens, not a speck of blue.

Wait… what the fuck was that? My gaze immediately snaps to a figure at the bar. Someone bundled in a thick brown cloak that I can't see any features from behind them. I immediately use my divine sense, the last test for the person in front of me. Nothing, I can sense nothing.

Why am I now hyper-focused on this person like my life depends on it? That's easy.

They don't have a Halo

The more I look at them the more sure I should just leave and never come back. I don't feel like fucking with someone like that. They have to be an Immortal or close to it. Shan was decently close it herself from what I've gathered and I can still see her golden halo. Then before I can drag my eyes away, something else catches my eye. An innocent-looking bottle, nondescript in every way, sitting on the bar by the stranger's gloved hand.

My body screams to have it.

I can't fight this instinct.

For the first time, being a raging alcoholic has failed me. Fuck, if I'm interacting with an immortal, I'm gonna do this right.

"You, how much for the bottle? Name any price." Of course, that being the shit I say, and my trained instinct to stay in character has me pointing at them. Ah, I see, this is how I die then. Well, it was a good run while it lasted. GG no re, let me stay dead this time, pls and thanks.

Then I hear something I hadn't expected. The figure chuckles. It's a soft, melodic thing. The voice of a woman, a young-sounding one. After that, all sound around me ceases in its entirety. Before, everyone had stopped talking. This time the world stopped talking. One does not truly comprehend what true silence is until there is utterly nothing. No background noise at all. Shan hasn't piped in with the usual comments either. I take a glance beside me, then poke Blue.

He doesn't even blink.

She fucking froze time.

"Take a seat, Xiang Rong." Of course, she knows my name. Is this the RoB that put me here? If so I have some complaints! Still, I do what she asks, taking a seat beside her at the bar. I still can't see her face in full on account of the hood, but some black hairs are visible peeking through the sides of her hood, along with her lips forming a grin.

"You never answered my question. How much for the bottle?" Et tu voice? Are you suicidal, Xiang Rong? Did you wish to die? If so, fair, can't blame you in this economy. Instead of smiting me like an ant, she just chuckles again.

"It's not for sale, but I'm willing to share." She takes a jade glass from nowhere and puts it next to her own. Then she cracks open the bottle, and I know Heaven.

A delicate aroma of jasmine and lotus mingling with hints of ripe spiritual peaches and lychees, underscored by a subtle spice that whispers of distant mountains and ancient herbs. The faint essence of Celestial wood and misty rain emerge, creating an intoxicating allure that transports me to a land of soft clouds. The fragrance carries a sense of tranquility and power, promising me not only pleasure but also a glimpse into the divine… This is a nectar that inspires clarity and spiritual awakening.

Before I know it, I'm staring at the bottom of an empty jade glass. A warmth travels through me, and my cultivation advances a stage completely out of my control. I don't really care right now, I feel like bliss.

I think I might be a bit of an alcoholic.

"That good?" She asks with a laugh. I'm disappointed in myself, I have nothing of equal value to give in exchange for the bottle. No, the bottle is not enough, I'll marry this woman for unlimited access. Big brain. "Alright, I've decided. Xiang Rong, I will be your Master!"

What? Seriously what?

And for the first time, my Rong-brained mouth says something that isn't an insult. Unbidden even, as I was still confused.

"This humble disciple greets his Teacher!"

"Good! I have so much to teach you!" She says, bottle in hand as she throws her cloak off.

What the hell have I signed up for? Oh god, she's cute.