Deadbeat with a Deathwish

After a while, Mr. B brought out the stronger stuff. We drank and chatted about our lives as we sat on that comfy couch. It felt like an adult slumber party. No matter how much we drank though, I never got more than buzzed.

“How did I die? Pfft – it was dumb!” I laughed, coughing a bit on my drink.

“Well, if you wana know how I died, you gota know a little bit about how I lived.” I absentmindedly looked for somewhere to put my skull cup. A mahogany coffee table appeared near the end of the couch and I put it there.

“You could say I was a failure at life. I had no goals, no values, no meaning, and no hope for anything different. I had a few friends over the years, but I never kept in touch. 

While all my old friends were living lives rich in love, success, meaning, and and all that, I had given up on getting anywhere. And then, in a final splash, my life became full of purpose and meaning."

“Hmm. A girl?” Mr.Bulldog asked.

“Kind of, it was my sister; she was dying. She called me up one midnight - unusual since we traditionally only talked once a year or so - and told me that her heart was failing. She only had a few months left at most. She’d had a bad heart since she was born, and I guess it was approaching its expiration date. It had suddenly started to deteriorate and though she was rushed to the top of the transplant list, there just weren’t any O- hearts lying around.

That night, when I told her she could have mine, she laughed through the phone and thanked me. I wasn’t joking though. We both had the same blood type so my heart was a viable match – ignoring the fact that it was still in use.

You see, my sister had a life, she had a family and a good job; she had a reason to get up each day and a home where she belonged. We lived completely opposite lives. I had given up on having a worthwhile life, but still had a long life ahead of me; while my sister, who was holding so tightly onto her life, only had a few months to live. If my meaningless life could be traded to save the life of someone really living, especially my sister, then I would make that trade in a heartbeat. And so I did.” I grabbed my cup and returned to drinking.

Mr. Bulldog nodded slowly. “An ass and a hero it seems.”

I scoffed, “A hero? Ya right. More like a deadbeat with a deathwish. I was just finding my meaning in the only way I could.”

“I guess that sounds more accurate. Also, the world you lived in looks quite interesting. Such medical techniques are unknown where I come from.” He said

Unauthorized tale usage: if you spot this story on Amazon, report the violation.

“So where do you come from? And don’t say ‘from here’ or some other bullshit - or I guess bulldog shit in this case...”

Mr. Bulldog raised an eyebrow, his face now that of a gorilla-like creature. “Well done. Very humorous. I am not from here though – here is from me. This is all part of my mind, part of my mindscape.”

“We’re in your mind? This is all in your brain?” I asked looking around.

“Yes, this is my mind, or a room in it. Everything here is a mental construct.” Mr.B held up his skull cup. He wiggled his eyebrows as his cup disappeared and reappeared in his had a few times.

“We’re not in my brain though. My physical body no longer exists.” He frowned.

“It was destroyed centuries ago along with my planet.”

“Shit man, sorry to hear about your planet. I’d like to hear that story. First tell me though, if you're just a mind, how did I end up in here?” I said.

“That is a mystery. Every once in a while I am visited by other beings like me. There are many of us in this plane or wherever this is. You're not one us though. We’ve all lost any connection to the physical world, you, however, have a tether.” I looked where he pointed near my feet and shrugged, nothing was there.

“I don’t see anything.”

“Hm, it’s a red and yellow line that fades away a little past the edge of the couch. Focus over there and think about your body. Stop when you see it though or else you might leave.”

I looked again. This time I squinted while remembering the feeling of my body. Feelings that didn’t exist here: the pressure on my feet from standing, the filling and emptying of my lungs as I breathed. As I focused, my awareness began to slip along a dull cord of twisted red and yellow. Foreign feelings came over me. This was my body? Was it? This–

“Stop!” Mr. Bulldog’s voice filled the room – filled my awareness.

I blinked a few times.

“I, I think I found it.” I smiled weakly.

“Yes, evidently. Now that you can see it, please don’t focus on it or you might return to whatever body you now have. There is no need to leave yet and I fear if you leave you will never be able to return.” He said.

I stood up quickly. “Why shouldn’t I go to my body? Is it ok? Your pretty cool Mr.B, but my body –”

“Calm yourself. Do you notice how dull your tether is?” He gestured back at my seat with a feminine wood-like hand.

I looked at him for a second and then sat back down. “Ya, I see it.”

“Well, that dullness means you’re either dying, in a coma, or not yet born. Since your tether leads to a planet I’ve been to, one that certainly isn’t Earth, you’re almost definitely being gestated. Furthermore, having a dull tether like that means you would be unable to use your body. Please remain with me at least until it solidifies. If you do, I might give you a gift.” He said while patting my leg.

I gave him a strong stare, then exhaled and took a long drink. “A second ago I felt some alien sensations when I focused on the tether. New sensation I’ve never felt before. So I believe you Mr. B. I’m probably in some ladies stomach right now. It would be boring hanging around in there for days with nothing to do or see. So sure, I’ll stick around here for a little longer.” I said.

“Very good. That’s a wise decision. I have something that might help you survive in your next life. It would be a shame if you left before I could share it.”

“Hmm? What have you got for me?”

“Well...”