Your Friend, The Guard:

Insult Day is nearly here;

Lets go to bars, for the free beer!

Come along, my well-spoke friend;

With you, the fun shall never end!

Narrator:

As they arrived, they were no wiser

That the fool King, that ugly miser

had moved said Day from then, to now

And they were in for shock and wow!

In the corner, pinching pennies

Was the King's own Jester, Lenny

A case of literary theft: this tale is not rightfully on Amazon; if you see it, report the violation.

He had always been quite surly,

and today, having felt squirrelly,

decided to obstruct them early!

The King's Jester, Lenny:

You are a fool!

You stupid tool,

You've proved yourself

Quite the fine mule!

Oh, I don't mean to play the ass,

although my words be mean and crass,

But in the end, they bring you joy,

unless you're but a filthy toy.

On Insult Day, harsh words shall fly;

I shall begin, and you reply!

And if I win, buy me a beer

Or be shunned forever here!

Your Friend, The Guard:

A calmer man than me my man,

would turn his face to pummeled ham!

And yet, you kept your cold composure,

You wiped the floor with that sly poser!

I should have known that you'd've won;

Its why we call you 'Silver-tongued'!

You (Silver-Tongued Bard):

You kiss your mother with those lips?

Did your wide head deform her hips?

Covered in jizz, from head to toe;

Where she begins, we'll never know!

And your sad mug; it needs a shave!

Go fall face-first upon a lathe!

Oh yes, what do you do, again?

A Fool? Oh please, do not pretend!

I mean, you are a fool, indeed;

Though hardly info that I need,

I have eyes, didn't you know?

'Twas born with them not long ago!

Your pitiful jokes make you no friends,

From whence you came, to horse's end!

Now, it is time for your rebuke,

Make me so damn sick I puke!

Narrator:

As we know, he was not able

'Twas found dead later in the stables

And yet again, your sharpened wit

Kills better than daggers twice as thick!