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Seed of Doubt

“Why?” Leo asked, closing the door.

“Why what?” I asked, settling into the larger bed with my book of shadows and Sooty by my feet.

“Surely, you already know how to defend yourself?”

I sighed and thought, “I know how to hide.”

His eyebrow raised as he moved from the door.

“I told you what my grandma said. I can’t hide anymore.” I folded my arms.

“Obscuravale.”

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We stared at each other, neither of us starting. I couldn’t stop the thoughts swirling around. I broke eye contact and continued looking through my book.

“I told you hiding isn’t a bad thing.” Leo sat at the bottom of the bed, facing me.

“School will start back up soon-” “Don’t change the subject.”

Groaning, I gave up reading.

“I can’t hide anymore,” I repeated slowly, trying to maintain my frustration.

“Yes, you can.”

He made it sound easy.

“I can’t go around concealed like a dirty little secret for the rest of my life.”

“Why not?”

“That’s not living.”

“So, you do want to live.”

“Of course, I want to fucking live,” I snapped.

“Then act like it,” he retorted in a louder voice.

“What the fuck are you on about?”

“Come on. Card’s on the table, Lexi.”

I deeply breathed, “All right, the card’s on the table, Leo.”

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I hate relying on others when all they do is let you down when you need them most.

I hate not being in control of myself and being treated like a dangerous person. Afraid to step one little toe out of line.

I hate being the problem.

I hate being hunted. By vampires, by the council, by crows.

I was done.

I don’t want to hide. I don’t want protection.

Fuck it. If I am going to die anyway, what’s the point?

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“And there it is.” Leo forced me out of… what I thought was an internal monologue.

“You’ve given up,” he stated calmly.

I looked at Sooty, mulling over Leo’s words. He was sleeping soundly at the bottom of the bed, yet my head could not stop.

“I need a minute,” I whispered, sliding out of the bed. “Revelora.”

He did not follow me as my feet paddled down the stairs. I was slightly grateful.

I teetered past the living room, hoping not to disturb Maddie on the air bed; I noticed the room was still lit by the fire but thought nothing of it.

I flick on the kettle; although caffeine is not great for sleeping, I need some comfort right now. Opening the fridge, I noticed the opened bottle of wine sitting innocently next to the milk.

My finger tapped on the door as I stared at it.

“Don’t do it.”

Maddie’s voice made me jump, and I took a deep breath before glancing at her and picking up the milk.

“Don’t do what?” I asked calmly.

“Whatever is going on… You don’t need it.”

“Never said I did.”

“If it were a person, you’d be undressing it with that look.”

I couldn’t help but snort, “Alright, Tea?”

“No thanks.”

Out of the corner of my eye, I saw her sit at the table, yet she continued to watch me.

“What is it?” I ask, slightly agitated.

She held up her hands, “Nothing, just can’t sleep.”

‘You and me both.’

I decided to sit next to her, looking out of the window. The snow had stopped, and the night was clear, yet the height of the snow made it impossible to venture out.

“How long have you been trying to break this?” Maddie asked softly.

I tore my eyes away from the window. I still didn’t trust her. Yet her question caught me off guard.

“Since we found out about it,” I watched her from the periphery of my eyes, “A few months.”

She played with her manicured nails, inspecting them.

“I can see how hard it is for both of you… I haven’t seen him this frustrated and upset before.”

I said nothing, I felt slightly uneasy, and my leg bounced under the table.

‘She knows him better than you.’

“Leave him.”

“He loves you, you know.”

My eyes snap to hers from my cup, “What?” I blurted.

“I’ve been here… what? Two days? I haven’t seen him like this before. Doting, always touching you. Hell, even sleeping in the same bed. Makes me jealous.”

She sighed, “I was pissed at him leaving without saying goodbye.”

I hummed with acknowledgement and listened to the late-night sounds creeping in from outside.

“I’m surprised he hasn’t given up by now.”

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“Given up what?” I asked, my eyes meeting hers.

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Magnus

He looked over the various papers on his desk, the bruise around his eye now yellowing. Nixon was put in cuffs, but he would be questioned and tried.

Now, he could focus on finding this young witch, Lexi.

He was still determining why the council wanted to catch her, but that was not his job.

The bright yellow medical file glared at him from the corner of the table. The council requested it; it would not help in finding her.

Yet…

Curiosity got the better of him.

Sighing, he picked it up to read.

Her record was practically clean, with the odd infection here and there and vaccinations. Then, within the past five years, three admissions to the hospital. Two fainting episodes and one ‘unknown (v)’. A human's way of stating ‘vampire attack’.

He read through carefully.

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Aged fourteen, Lexi was found unconscious by her mother. Scans revealed nothing, and she was sent home the next day and told to sleep better.

Aged seventeen, due to ‘dehydration and exhaustion’, she fainted after a long shift at work. There was also a note of a panic episode when visitors came; she was referred to therapy. Again, the tests came back clean.

Aged seventeen months later, the vampire attack. He leaned back, taking in the scribbles from the doctors' notes. Multiple surgeries to stop bleeding. Transfusions. The usual serum to get rid of venom.

The attack must have been going on for hours; the amount of venom and anti-serum, the vampires had a party.

Punctured and collapsed blood vessels, bleeding in the brain, clot removal, bones fractured.

It was noted that she was unstable and prepared for end of life. Yet, after a few short days, she miraculously recovered?

He read the signature, ‘Dr. Clears’.

Time to chase another lead.

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Jack

“I have sent down that book you asked for. Turns out the old codger had a copy.”

“…Old codger?”

“Nixon.”

“Really?” Kerion asked, surprised.

It only took a few days to find a copy; Jack also had made headway with predicting Cornelius’s next movements. Something he was determined to keep secret. He requested the two Fae to keep an eye out. Hopefully, he will have an answer soon.

“Yeah. Please don’t ask me how I got it. Just keep it safe, alright?”

“No problem. Have you heard anything from Victoria?”

“Yes. She finally comes out of the shadows and is on the way back to England. I hope to catch her arrival in Southampton later this week. Have you heard anything from Lexi?”

“Not a whisper. Which I suppose is a good thing.”

“Hm. I will keep my ears open.”

“Thanks, Jack. Let me know if I can do anything else.”

“Okay.” Jack hung up and sighed.

He continued to pack his bag. In contrast, he wanted to stay put and watch the detective’s case. He had to leave for Southampton. Just because she was meant to arrive next week didn’t mean she would come home early.

He silently prayed that his town would be the same as he left it.

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Keiron

“Erm… Keiron?” Luke's voice shouted from the bottom of the shop stairs.

“Yeah?” Keiron hollered back.

“I thought you said you didn’t use birds to send letters?”

“We don’t. Too much effort than to use the posting system.”

“Then explain this!”

Even more confused, Keiron gently placed down his glasses and peddled to Luke.

“What?”

Luke didn’t turn around; they just stared into a corner of the shop and slowly lifted a finger.

“The black bird.”

Keiron followed his finger, “Well, I’ll be damned. How did it get in?”

“Back door. I left it open for two minutes, and it flew in.”

He slowly approached the bird, hoping not to frighten it. In its claw is a letter.

Gronk!

It picked up the letter into its beak and landed on the floor in front of Keiron; dropping the letter, it croaked.

“This for me?”

He carefully picked it up, afraid to be pecked.

As soon as he stood back up to his full height. The bird took flight and waited near the back door, where it came through.

“Open the door, Luke,” Keiron encouraged.

Luke made his way to the back door with tiny, slow movements.

“Okay, okay. Good birdie….” He tried to give it as much room as possible.

“Luke…”

“Alright!”

Finally opening the door, the black bird flew off, probably back to its master, and Luke quickly shut the door once more.

“I hate birds,” Luke muttered.

Keiron grinned and looked at the letter. He recognised the handwriting.

“It’s from Lexi!”

“You’re sure?”

“Yes!”

He could feel the residue of her magic and her charismatic writing of ‘Uncle Keiron’ on the front.

He quickly opened it to find another piece of paper with the message.

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Dear Keiron,

I am sorry if the bird scared you. He is harmless. I am still in Scotland with Leo and have sought help from Bristlecast (a necromancer).

It’s been hard… and although it has only been a week and a bit, I am missing home…

Anyway, my headaches have come back recently, and this was glowing on my forehead after a small fainting episode.

Do you know anything about it?

I hope to hear from you soon.

Love, Lexi xoxo

P.S. Henry (the Raven) will come back in a week. He has other chores to do…

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Keiron smiled softly, and Luke approached him, reading over his shoulder.

“Aw. Missing home…” Luke cooed.

“Hm, I think she’s missing home because of what’s happening with the council.”

“Hm… What’s the symbol anyways?”

Kieron opened the piece of paper only to find it blank. His eyebrows furrowed, and he flipped it over. Then, put it to the light—still nothing.

“Revelora.”

The image slowly began to bleed through. But instead of the symbol drawn by Maddie, it was a black mass, undiscernible like a giant ink splatter. It felt unnerving, like staring into a black void full of malice.

“Hm. This can’t be right…”

“It doesn’t look like anything…”

“Something has tampered with this.”

Concern and worry built within him. If this came from Lexi… Either the Raven stopped off somewhere and worked for another, or the saboteur is near Lexi… close to Lexi.

He immediately fled back upstairs to his phone and called Jack once more.

“Jack! I just got a letter from Lexi. I think something is wrong.”

“What? What is it?”

“Well…” Kerion shook his head; he had to think clearly. He couldn’t tip the saboteur off.

“Can you look into a name for me first?”

“Yeah, give me the name.”

“Bristlecast.”

Keiron continued to stare down at the black smudge on the paper. As he said the name, something clicked. He had heard that name before. Where?

Nick’s book of shadows.

A chill went down his spine.

“Luke?” he called out.

“Yep?” said a cheerier Luke.

“I think we need to visit my sister…”

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Lexi

“He is too proud to admit it. He gives up so easily when it’s difficult.”

I reflected on Leo and I’s conversation.

“You’ve given up.”

I tried to remember his face, his tone. He said it so calmly; his face gave nothing. Even our bond didn’t provide me with anything. Is he hoping I would say it first? Like Maddie suggested?

I quietly entered the bedroom, hoping not to disturb Leo.

Instead, he sat on the floor next to the window, looking out. I paused to observe him. The moonlight reflected, illuminating a small patch on the carpet floor; he sat cross-legged with Sooty, kneading his chest comfortably.

I sighed and closed the door, prompting him to look over.

“I’m exhausted,” I said softly, slowly walking over.

“Well, it is 3 am.” He looked back out the window.

“Mentally exhausted,” I added, “I need a break.”

“A break?” he sounded carefully.

“From the lifetimes.”

“Just the lifetimes? Or a break from us?”

Sat down on the edge of the bed and played with my fingers. Trying not to well up, I couldn’t get Maddie’s voice out of my head. He was silent for a moment before he turned to me.

“Just from the lifetimes,” I said sheepishly.

He sighed in relief and shoulders sagged, “Thank goddess.”

‘I’m definitely selfish.’

“Maddie said something to you, didn’t she?” he shuffled along the floor and tried to look up into my face.

I sniffed before talking, “She did.”

His hand touched my calf, “What was it?”

“Maddie said you normally would have called it quits by now.”

He leaned back, rubbing the space between his eyebrows, “In the past, yes. Not with you. Not ever… I did tell you this before.”

My shoulders slumped forward. Leo did… I also remember him talking about Maddie’s ability to manipulate. Whether that was her intention from the start, I don’t know.

“It’s late. Tomorrow, we’re sleeping in.” He got up from his space on the floor and went to the other side of the bed.

“And we are going to Inverness for a break.”

It took me a moment to register, “We?” I turned to him, seeing him lifting the covers and inviting me in.

“…You do want a break from this… From looking through the lifetimes? … or did you want to be alone?” his voice, while still soft, turned slightly sad.

“No, I don’t want to be alone,” I sighed before lying down.

“Come ‘ere. We both need a break.”

Selfish.