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I am writing it here because I don't think you will believe my words otherwise.

And I want you to know that you are free of any responsibility or guilt if anything should happen to me.

Hello, this is Alex. You may know me as the former crown prince.

This is my first time writing something for myself as I have always been writing for others so it is rather difficult. I don't know how to start this diary.

Since I'll write everything that comes to mind, it might not be in sequential order, but I hope you'll understand.

Hello again everyone, these are the last words of myself, Alex. Those who are listening, I hope all of you live a happy life. I am leaving this palace and will not return here.

I have lived my eighteen years of life here in the palace. However, I don't want to say it but I am grateful to everyone for helping me for eighteen years and allowing me to live here.

This empire is where I was born and where I was raised. This palace holds precious memories as well as dark memories.

As a crown prince and future emperor I had to do everything carefully, like a king in chess. If the king falls, the kingdom falls.

Stolen story; please report.

Although I was not a king, I still had to act like one. So I could not speak up and express my true thoughts. Even now I feel like there's someone behind me looking closely at me.

It feels nostalgic about the days I have spent here.

Would you know whether the words you omit can cause someone psychological harm rather than physical harm? People may be more hurt by words than by anything else.

Many people in the palace spoke hurtful words behind my back. The palace maid, brothers and sisters, ministers, each of them talked behind my back and you can't even begin to imagine how emotionally damaged I am as a result.

I lost track of how many times I tried to commit suicide while nobody knew about it.

Everyone in the palace treats me unfairly and poorly.

No matter what I did, no matter how hard I tried, no one acknowledged me.

I was always looked down on by everyone.

No matter where I was in the palace, they looked at me with contempt.

I have done so many things for this kingdom, but nobody thanks me.

Even when I became a crown prince, I was still treated the same way.

Although I was the Crown Prince, my life decisions were already made: the food I eat, the dress I wear, the person I have to meet, the words I have to say.

But nobody knows the real me, as I have to become what others want me to be.

I did everything I should have done as a crown prince for eighteen years. Everyone in the Empire was under my care. The empire flourished without bloodshed.

Each of my brothers and sisters lived the life they wanted. The Emperor and his concubines lived a lavish, easy life.

I had to protect my country, my family, my people. I had to keep my word.

I have to look after my brothers and sisters. I have to take care of the empire. I have to ensure everything runs smoothly.

We built many roads and bridges, schools, we took care of our soldiers and farmers, we gave them medical treatment, we made sure they ate properly.

We kept peace between the nobles.

I did everything for the empire for the past eighteen years. Everything was not because it was my responsibility but it was a promise I made, a promise I have to fulfill and the last wish of my mother. Since it carries my mother's final wishes, I cannot reveal the contents of this promise until the final moments.