"Even with centuries of investigation behind us and a complete physical comprehension of the brain, the human mind is totally beyond me. The longer I live, the less I comprehend it. I'm starting to believe those who say it's a marvelous thing are wrong. There is nothing more terrifying than the human mind."

-Fatima Belkadi, 2303, Interview on the Death of Helena Christodoulou

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I looked the figure up and down without moving my head, only my eyes. Yes, it was Makoto. That look in the eyes and that uneasiness could only be described as Makoto. The problem wasn't on the pants, but the overall change in the constitution. Maybe I had grown used to the exacerbated physiological changes of humans, but seeing a person who wasn't too curvaceous or muscular surprised me a bit. I kinda also fell into that category as my body came with integrated muscle mass I hadn't worked for.

"P-please, say something," Makoto whined. A crack in the voice. A nervous movement. A pair of teary eyes. "You are mad, aren't you? You promised me you wouldn't be mad…" A weak and defeated voice devoid of rage.

"I'm not mad," I stated.

"Then why aren't you talking?" Makoto almost shouted but the voice was still strangled.

"Well, I am a bit taken aback that you have opted for virtualization," I responded honestly. "I am not the biggest fan of that evolutionary path."

"Ehrm… and what about the rest?" Makoto fidgeted locked in place.

"About what?" I tilted my head and frowned.

"This!" Makoto pointed at the avatar.

"Something wrong with your avatar?"

"I am a man, Lorem!" Makoto finally broke into a shout.

"Yes, and?"

"And?" Makoto began hyperventilating. "I am a man, Lorem! Can't you understand that?"

"First things first." I put my hands together. "You know that the gender of virtualized humans doesn't really matter, right?"

That was my veritable opinion on virtualized humans. Gender was a purely biological concept; it had no ground to stand on computing terms. That didn't mean I didn't refer to people for whatever pronoun they preferred, I had done so with the baker and with Sandra, to a point. My assistant was a virtual intelligence rather than a virtualized human, but I didn't see much difference in the technological aspect. Sandra herself had said that her voice was a purely aesthetical choice.

"I would go as far as to say that gender doesn't matter for any student that has evolved into a human," I added a second later.

Virtualized humans were a bunch of 1s and 0s, synthetics were machines that could swap parts like any computer, and biologicals could literally shapeshift. I could grow or eradicate any part of my body with enough practice.

"But… but…" Makoto almost started full-on crying.

"I think I understand what you want to get me angry at…"

"I don't want you to get angry!" Makoto interjected.

"You definitely want me to get angry at you, or at least mad, going with your wording. I don't know if you want to self-justify your feelings or something, but I cannot find anything to be angry at."

"I…" I didn't let Makoto continue talking.

"But if I'm angry at something, it isn't that you became virtualized – that's your choice and your life, after all – but that I didn't hear about this before." I crossed my arms and frowned at her... him, frowned at him, trying my best to be stern but without being antagonistic. It was hard. "How long has this been going?"

Makoto opened and closed his mouth time and time again before coming up with an answer. "Years, I guess…" He admitted in defeat.

"Does Mérida know about it?"

"N-no… she doesn't." Makoto avoided my gaze.

"Well, you know why I am angry now." I sighed and scratched the back of my head. Of course, there was no itch in this virtual world. "Why haven't you told us before?"

"I… I was scared." He scratched his arms.

"Scared of what?" I couldn't understand what he was thinking. It was heard being unable to comprehend what someone wanted, but now it was harder than ever.

"Of losing you two. That if I did something, I would break the status quo, and everything would end."

"But you ended up doing it." I comforted him.

"Because I was a coward." Makoto bit his lip.

"I don't know, that sounds brave to me." I partially didn't mean that, basically because I found nothing to be brave of, it was nature taking its course. But those words felt correct. Needed.

"No, it wasn't brave… I just couldn't bear it anymore, I basically ran away."

"You are right in front of me, aren't you?" I took a step forward and Makoto replied by taking one backward.

"Am I? Isn't this like the same thing like breaking up with a text message?"

The first thing that came to my mind was how consuming this much old media was rotting his mind, but I held off on that comment. Barely. Always barely. It wasn't appropriate, not now.

"Considering you are a virtualized human now, this is the closest you can get to meeting in the flesh. Aside from some host bodies, most of the virtualized are in Parallel, so yes, this is talking face-to-face. You didn't run away Makoto, and you aren't running away now." I took another step forward. He didn't take one backward now. "Will you explain me a bit the situation?"

This tale has been unlawfully lifted from Royal Road. If you spot it on Amazon, please report it.

I wasn't good with these types of situations. The things I was good at – actually competent at – could be counted with the fingers of a hand. I hated not being able to do everything, especially when it was needed.

"I…" Makoto grabbed his forearm. "There's nothing much to explain, isn't it?"

"Then let's defragment a bit into smaller sections," I suggested. "When did this begin?"

"Feeling like this?" I nodded. "I can't say for sure… It's been a few years, I can tell that."

"Makoto." My voice was devoid of emotion.

"W-what?" He shrunk.

"You are telling me that you have felt this way for years and haven't told no one?" I tried to sound as non-angry as possible. Because I wasn't. But sometimes it wasn't as simple as that. I knew that well.

"I… I did talk to someone. There were people to talk to back at school."

"I see. I guess it's better than nothing. And what did they say?"

"That I should think about it." Considering Makoto refused to meet my eyes, I had the sensation there was more, but I was careful not to push him.

I was walking on hot coals in a terrain I was wholly unfamiliar with. I didn't know what to do. I wasn't the person needed for this situation; Mérida was. But Makoto has contacted you first. I reminded myself. Mérida wasn't here and because we were on Parallel, I couldn't message her without Makoto noticing.

"They didn't suggest performing any operation beforehand?" I questioned. "Things like these should be offered by the state, mental health and physical health go hand in hand."

"They…. They did." Makoto looked at the ground. This wasn't only about being unable to confront me, but he was straight-up ashamed of himself. "But I wasn't sure. I know and knew there was a way back, but I didn't feel like that. That there was only a path forward with no backtracking."

I could see him trapped in him own delusions, but who wasn't?

"I…" I had been throwing words randomly, but I soon found myself only to keep doing that. I needed to think well my words, and it was hard doing so. I didn't work well in real-time, I needed planning. Time to ponder and evaluate risks. But for his sake, I couldn't do that now. "What has changed from then to now?"

"Nothing." He added with defeatism. "Nothing at all. I'm still unsure as always and I don't know if I will regret my choices at all."

"Is this about virtualization?"

"No." Makoto swayed his head. "I can't say with certainty… but I feel this has been the best decision I have ever made in my life. It… I always felt a disconnect with my body."

Then why not choose biological ascension? The words formed in my mind, but my mouth didn't speak them aloud. Those were the words I wanted to hear, not the words Makoto needed. Of course, I didn't want him to choose virtualization, it seemed like the worst path to me, the only one where there was no real turning back. Why set ablaze the doors behind you? It was hard to keep it to myself, I wanted to lash out, and I didn't know why. Makoto didn't deserve it. Precisely because of that I couldn't do him such a disservice.

"T-then," my voice trembled, I wasn't even sure of the words I was going to utter, "then I guess you made the right decision." The last thing I wanted to see was Makoto suffering because of me. "Dysmorphia is a serious issue, and whilst it can prevented through biological and synthetic evolution, there's no safer bet than to remove the body completely. Pluck it from the root, right?"

"So you aren't mad?" He reiterated.

"I never was." Not to you, at least. But myself.

"And what about our relationship?" That was the question I had been dreading, for I knew this was the route of all our problems. "I know you aren't like Mérida and I, that you are not…"

"Bisexual?" I snickered. "Don't be afraid to say that word, Makoto."

Sexuality had been a weird aspect for me. I liked to read about it but avoided experimenting as much as I could. I read articles and census about the demographics and they all agreed that there was no majority. Humanity was mostly composed of genderless beings now, after all, mostly hermaphrodites in one way or another.

Bisexuality was the normal tendency of middle-aged humans, those who were around a century old, though asexuality was as much common. Virtualization replicated human brains perfectly and their personalities but it couldn't be denied that lust was a way of the physical biological body urging the host to reproduce. When you were totally infertile, sex was no longer a means to an end, but the end itself. A form of entertainment.

But I knew what worried Makoto wasn't statistics and tendencies, but a majority. In our little polycule, Mérida was bisexual with more male tendencies, whilst Makoto was bisexual with more female tendencies. I guess in a way it made sense his transition when he always favored women more. That was, of course, a fallacy.

Even I could see the fear in his eyes, the nervousness and the anxiety. I could know what Makoto was thinking.

"I am going to state one single thing and you are going to try to refute it like we are in some kind of philosophical debate, understood?" Makoto looked at me in confusion but nodded nonetheless. "Tell me, is there a need for sexual relationships for there to be love and caring?"

"Uhm…" Makoto trembled on the spot, I couldn't know what was going on in his mind, but I was sure it was a lot.

"Let me cheat a bit and add another statement," I interjected. "Gender is a purely biological prospect, therefore, anything not biological cannot be classified under such preconceptions. An example of this would be how Mérida would technically not be a 'woman' right now as she has turned into a synthetic hu-"

"Mérida is a synthetic?" Makoto exclaimed out of nowhere. I frowned at him. "Sorry, keep going."

He looked down at the sand in shame, and I couldn't help myself but smile. If there was the possibility of banter then I did a decent enough job so far.

"Continuing where I was, if I were to have a sexual encounter with Mérida then it could not be classified as gendered intercourse, right?"

"Unless she has changed her gender…" Makoto expressed weakly, "Then it would be the genitalia that mattered. Therefore yes, it would be 'gendered intercourse'."

"Would you consider a man using a human-sized sex toy as sex?" I proposed.

"Mérida isn't a sex toy!" He shouted, stamping the sand and sending it flying everywhere. "Don't you dare talk about her like that!"

"When did I mention Mérida?" I smiled at him.

Makoto looked at me and blinked twice as he processed the last exchange. "You just did! Just because you omitted saying her name in the last sentence, it does not negate the fact that it was implied!"

His screams were perfect. A potent voice and expressed opinions.

"I see, I see." I scratched my chin. "Then if we go by that proposition, then we should ask Mérida if she considers herself a woman, genderless, or a sex toy?" I suggested.

"What the fuck are you talki…" Then it was when he noticed I was messing with him. Makoto blushed. There wasn't much difference between his old self as his avatar was quite androgynous. "I hate you."

"Stay in line then." I shrugged. "There are more people than hate me, and more than you. You have my number one hater in front of you."

For there was none who hated me more than myself.

"Give me an answer." Makoto became serious, tired of games and back-and-forths.

"I have." I closed my eyes. "There is no need to change the status quo."

"And what if I want to have a 'gendered intercourse'?" He crossed his arms.

"Well, first you ask for consent…"

"Lorem." His voice cut through the calm waves.

"Alright, alright. No more jokes." I opened my eyes and raised my hands. Though it was clear I made it this far thanks to my wretched attempts at comedy. "If that were to be the case, then I would change my gender."

"Lorem." Makoto pierced me with his gaze.

"Makoto." I smiled at him.

"I am being serious."

"So I am."

"R-really?" His tough act faded.

"Well, you have seen my shapeshifting practice. Things like that are possible, and even trivial given enough time." I explained. "So yes. If that were to be the case, I would shift my body to comply with my beliefs and we could have a try in gendered intercourse. I only ask you to first wait until I can do such things in real life before trying them virtually. Changing muscles is hard, I can't even imagine organs."

"I… you really…" I waited for him to get his words out. "Just… just thank you."

"You are welcome." I finally approached Makoto. He didn't take any steps backward now and allowed himself to be embraced by me. I patted his head and then whispered in his ear. "Now, don't be a moron and contact Mérida."

"Yes, yes." He mumbled weakly. "But can I ask you something else before?"

"Anything," I stated with resolution.

"Hug me a little longer." And I did.