Humanity has surpassed itself. Hunger, war, and death; they all have been abolished. Now in their place amongst the stars, with every ailing already solved, humans find themselves colonizing the cosmos for the sake of entertainment and diversion. The Project Tycoon, humanity's greatest initiative, gifts every human a planet for them to control and manage. Their word, their law. Only one truth rings above all else, contribute to humanity's progress! Now using my knowledge of robotics, quantum communications, and ceaseless funding; I will win this game. *** Project Tycoon is a hard sci-fi story that takes elements from many fictional stories and videogames, plus taking all my wrong engineering knowledge. Expect references to common sci-fi tropes plus mentions from newly published papers. [participant in the Royal Road Writathon challenge]