“Thank you so much.” Rayza said, wiping the sweat from her forehead. Thank the Four that they were down to the last set of clothes - the heat inside this tent was starting to get to her. “Couldn’t have lugged all those clothes over without your help.”

“Don’t sweat it.” The stranger replied, smoothly taking the unwanted dresses from her arm and tossing them back onto the pile. “Can’t leave you two lovelies with manual labour.”

“Oh, stop. I told you, I’m married.” She giggled, glancing at the curtain that Ciel was changing behind. Rayza only needed to help her once - after that, Ciel had already mastered the art of un- and redressing. What a smart cookie.

“Obviously.” The man smiled cockily and crossed his arms. “All men desire to lock down a beautiful lioness - someone like you wouldn’t stay free for long.”

Rayza rolled her eyes and leaned back against one of the wooden supporting pillars. “Laying it on thick, are we?”

“Is the honeypot not to your taste? I can be a little more spicy, if you wish.”

“Don’t bother.” She waved him off. “My husband’s all the sugar and spice I can handle.”

“Husband this, married that.” The man shook his head with a disappointed sigh. “You let yourself be chained up so easily. Don’t you wish to run free? To follow your passion?”

“Yeah.” Rayza turned to the curtain with a wistful smile. “It’s what I’ve been waiting for all my life.”

A small hand grabbed the curtain and slowly pushed it aside.

“Oh my…” The man said, whistling.

“...goodness.” Rayza covered her mouth, trying her best to not loudly squeal - she’d already gotten a few complaints from the owner. “Ciel, you…you’re beautiful.”

Ciel tilted her head and looked at herself in the mirror. The dress Rayza had picked out was perfect. It was a light blue colour with short sleeves, reaching just below her knees. Along with the leather shoes and white socks, she wore a dark blue shawl as an accessory, adorned with a clear gem in the middle.

Thankfully, said shawl included a hood that Ciel had draped over her conspicuous white hair, but even still, the entire outfit evoked innocence and purity. A kind of purity that Rayza had yearned for in her own childhood. Truly…it was perfect.

See, Father? It is more than a simple pipe dream.

“What do you think of it, Ciel?” She asked as she bent down, adjusting the hood slightly, her lips quivering slightly.

Ciel silently stared at her reflection with an indecipherable expression. Yet, that lack of emotion gave her a serene, almost otherworldly and ethereal aura - an angel sent by the heavens, like one would find in ancient paintings. Suddenly, Ciel turned around and pointed past Rayza. “Papa.” She said blankly.

“Huh?” Rayza spun on her heel, finding Ionyr standing at a slight distance. His mouth was slightly agape. “Oh, perfect timing! We were just about to leave.” She ushered Ciel back into the changing room.

“I best be on my way, then.” The stranger said, putting his hands in his pockets, his eyes on Ionyr.

“Yes, that would be for the best.” Rayza nodded and headed into the changing room to escape this conversation. “Thanks again for your help.”

“No problem. I’m sure we’ll meet again.” The stranger walked away, and stopped briefly beside Ionyr, placing a hand on his shoulder.

Rayza shut the curtain and helped Ciel change. Didn’t want to give her husband the wrong idea. Sure, she knew that their trust was unbreakable, but his expression still left an uneasy taste in her mouth. Better not to push her luck.

Once they were done, they exited the changing room, finding Ionyr in a staring contest with the floor. She lightly tapped him on the shoulder, causing him to jump and startle from his brooding.

“You okay?” She asked, raising an eyebrow. She hadn’t seen him act like this…ever, really.

His expression turned sombre and brooding once again. “Yeah. You done here?”

“Just need to pay.” Raising the clothes she had slung over her arm, Rayza nodded towards the round counter built around the central supporting pillar. He nodded and followed her, though his gaze remained cast at the ground.

“Papa?” Ciel tugged at his sleeve.

“Yeah? What’s up, Ciel?” He replied, unable to suppress a voice crack.

“...” Ciel opened her mouth, but couldn’t seem to find the proper words, so she closed it and kept walking at his side.

Something was off, even Ciel could tell. Even if she couldn’t express it properly, bless her. He fell silent and began staring at the ground again, avoiding eye contact.

There was a line at the counter, so Rayza took the opportunity to think. Ionyr had been acting this way since she turned to look at him. Come to think of it, his expression when he returned…she hadn’t really paid much attention to it, but…he looked shocked…and hurt. The stranger from earlier had briefly stopped beside him - likely said something to him.

That guy wouldn’t, right? He wouldn’t intentionally lie…right?

“What did that guy say to you?” She asked. Better set things straight before they get out of hand.

“Something about chains and whatnot.” He sighed and shrugged, averting his eyes still. “Met him earlier in the streets, seems to be his thing.”

“Oh really?” She raised an eyebrow. “Said the same stuff to me. Kept trying to make advances, too.” She flashed her ring to reassure him. “Obviously denied him.”

“That’s good to hear.”

Clearly not, Rayza thought, you look just as miserable as before. The line moved, and she handed Ionyr the clothes to take out her wallet.

“Can’t help but notice…there’s only children’s clothes in here.” Ionyr said absent-mindedly, playing with the soft fabric. “Not buying anything for yourself?”

“Nah.” She shook her head. “These kinds of clothes would be wasted on me.”

“Hey, don’t say that.” He said, cracking a weak, clearly forced smile. “You’d look great in anything.”

“Oh, good.” She gestured at her sweated-in shirt and dirty, worn shorts. Easy to move in and to clean - comfy and practical. Just how she liked it. “So there’s no problem with my current outfit, right?”

His smile vanished. “I guess not.” He said after a short pause, going back to his mopey mood.

Seriously, what was up with him? His teasing, his confidence…where had it all gone?

“Papa…okay?” Ciel asked, tugging at his sleeve again.

“...yeah.” He said after another pause, forcing a smile. Bending down, he picked her up on his free arm. “I’m alright, Ciel. No need to worry.”

Liar.

“Next, please!”

Rayza left her doubts for later and quickly took her spot at the counter, barely making it before another woman cut the line. Shooting the other shopper a glare, she then turned to the clerk with a smile as Ionyr placed the dress, shoes and shawl on the counter.

“Right, what do I owe you?” Rayza reached for her wallet. Hm. Not where it usually was. Maybe she misplaced it. “One moment.” Ah, there it was.

“Oh, there’s no need for that.” The clerk raised her hand, stoppíng her. “A man came by a moment ago and already paid for your expenses.”

“Huh. How kind of him. Could you pack these, then?” She told the girl, while glancing at Ionyr, who averted his eyes. “I didn’t ask him to do that, you know.”

“Yeah, I know. He gave me a gold coin earlier for indulging his rants. He’s a good man. Probably…” His mouth hung open, as if to add to that statement, but instead he shook his head and fell silent.

Rayza wanted so badly to confront him, to shake him and ask why he’d become so sulky all of a sudden. But this was neither the place nor the time to do it. Not in this store, not in front of a crowd and certainly not in front of Ciel.

“Miss, your purchase.” The clerk handed her a cloth bag containing the Star’s new clothes.

“Thank you.” Rayza said absent-mindedly, slinging it over her shoulder, gaze fixed on Ionyr, her mind racing.

“Let’s head back to the inn.” Ionyr said, and she nodded, following him through the crowd and out of the tent.

Maybe…did something happen at the Postage Pen? Was there an accident of some kind? No, the news would spread like wildfire. Perhaps there was a letter for him from Raev or Ielus? Or…not a letter from them, but…

“Oh no…” Rayza whispered, covering her mouth, realising what might’ve happened. She paused, letting Ionyr pull slightly ahead, studying his face, wondering, hoping that she was wrong. But what else could be weighing on him like this? The only way to find out was to ask, obviously, death was not a subject to broach in front of a child.

Rayza was ripped from her thoughts by that same child suddenly pointing at the Order’s cathedral.

“Papa, what’s that?” Ciel asked, looking up at the high tower adorned by stained glass bearing Firemane’s lion.

“That’s the Ashen Order’s base in this city.” His voice was heavy. “It’s the regional governor’s seat, and where the pilgrims are prepared for their journey to the North.”

“Pil…grims?”

“Pilgrims are criminals that are sent North to redeem themselves - like King Firemane’s closest friends.” He sighed, the depth of his turmoil becoming ever more evident, ever more blatantly obvious. “They went on a spiritual journey with him, making them the legendary legion to end the demons - giving up lives of evil for virtuous ones. Or so the story goes.”

Rayza bit her lip. That story hit a little too close to home now.

“He needs me.” She realised, before heading after them. Ionyr and she needed to speak - in private. Away from Ciel’s curious eyes and ears. These heavy emotions weren't something they could burden their child with - Rayza had promised to give her a happy, carefree childhood.

But how would they get that time to talk? It’s not like they could entrust their daughter to anyone else. In Artivia, maybe. But in Postitia? No way, too many scoundrels, and too many chances for her to disappear. But getting to Artivia was too dangerous with this bandit infestation on the roads.

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Maybe when Ciel was asleep? It was worth a shot, though she always went to sleep when Rayza did.

“This would’ve been so simple a month ago.” She mumbled, sighing as she walked through the inn’s front gate. It was a small place - the tiled roof and grey, rain-worn bricks gave away the owner’s northern origins. Small wafts of steam blew over from behind the house, carrying a crisp, piney scent.

“Welcome back!” The middle-aged lady that ran the inn warmly greeted them. She stood up, putting aside a quill and leaning over the countertop, which was made of a dark northern wood, like everything else inside the inn. “Found what you were looking for?”

“Yeah.” Ionyr nodded with a smile, letting Ciel down from his arm. “Got some clothes for the little one.”

“Good, good!” The lady let out a sigh of relief. “Was afraid she’d turn out like Rayza.”

“I’ll have you know that I picked them out, Linberg.” Rayza said, dusting off her boots on the doormat.

“By the Four.” Linberg covered her mouth in fake shock and turned to Ionyr. “Please tell me she didn’t just buy boyish clothes. What a waste for such a charming young girl!”

Ionyr chuckled dryly as Rayza rolled her eyes. “No, actually.” He said, motioning towards the bag. “She bought a dress and shawl. Very cute.” Pausing briefly, he sighed.

“Indeed.” Rayza took out and presented the adorable outfit she’d bought for Ciel.

“My word.” Linberg said, astonished. “Since when did you know how to dress girly?”

“Oi.” Packing the clothes again, Rayza leaned in close. “If my daughter weren’t here, I’d be cussing you out to next week and back.”

“I know.” Linberg grinned cheekily. “That’s why I’m savouring every second.”

“You damn old…”

“I’ll be off.” Ionyr said, heading down the hall towards their room. “Gonna take a bath to clear my head.”

“Oh. Oh yeah, good idea!” Rayza quickly took Ciel’s hand and moved to follow. “We should take one, too.”

“One moment.” Linberg raised her hand. “I’d like to ask you something first.” Rayza paused, glancing between the innkeeper and her daughter. Linberg smiled at Ciel and nodded towards the hallway. “Go on, after your Papa. I need to speak with your mother for a moment.”

“Mama?” Ciel looked up at Rayza for confirmation.

“...yeah.” Rayza patted her head softly. “Go on, Ciel.”

Ciel nodded and ran after Ionyr. As the light tapping of her footsteps vanished behind a distant closing door, Rayza turned to face the old woman’s stern gaze.

“Now, what did you do?”

“What do you mean?”

“You know exactly what I mean.” Linberg jutted her thumb towards the hallway. “You two used to be glued at the hip. Now it’s all icey between the both of you.”

“Yep.” Rayza said through pursed lips. “I think I know why.”

“Oh?” The old woman crossed her arms. “And why haven’t you done anything about it?”

“Haven’t had the chance to. Not since he came back from the Pen.”

“The Pen?” Linberg scoffed. “Honey, this has been going on for longer than that. When you dropped your things earlier, his face was just as sullen.”

“No way.” Rayza let out an unsure laugh. “I would’ve noticed. He probably got bad news at the Pen…”

“Rayza.” Linberg put a hand on her shoulder. “Whatever it is, it didn’t happen at the Pen.”

Rayza shook her head and stepped out of the woman’s grip. “Well, there’s nothing else it could be.”

“Oh, I can think of something.” Linberg glanced down the hallway. “Your adopted ward - that girl.”

Rayza tensed up, her hand clenching into a fist. “...careful, now.” She replied, glaring. “I don’t want Ciel to hear this.”

“Why?” Linberg raised an eyebrow. “She’s what, five, six years old? She should know you’re not her real-”

Rayza reached out and clamped her hands over Linberg’s mouth. “Don’t you dare finish that sentence. Ciel is my daughter.” She hissed quietly, stepping a little closer. “ I’m…I’m a real mother. You hear me?”

Linberg slapped away her hands, giving her a stern look. “If you weren’t one of my best guests, I’d have knocked you flat.” She said, before leaning back against the counter. “Honey, if the subject is this touchy…” Sighing, she shook her head. “Nevermind. I won’t meddle in your marriage.”

“Good.” Rayza turned on her heel and headed for their room.

“But.” A hand touched her shoulder. “Promise me you’ll think about it. Please.”

“...fine. Now remove your hand.”

“Thank you.” Linberg let go.

Without looking back, Rayza marched to their room, her boots’ heavy falls making the floorboards let out pained whines. At the very end of the hallway, just before it bent to the right, there was a door made from old wood. It was ever so slightly ajar.

The crisp, piney smell from earlier permeated the air - a good scent in the baths today. Now, more than ever, she wanted, no, needed a nice, hot bath to get her mind off things. She opened the door to find Ciel alone on her bed, feet dangling off the side.

“Hey Ciel.” She tried to hide the edge in her voice. “Where’s Papa?” She asked softly.

“Bath.”

“Right. Well, let’s head there as well.” Rayza grabbed her freshly washed clothes from the bed. No creases, and warm too. Thanks, Linberg. For this, at least.

“Papa…okay?”

Rayza tensed up. What was she supposed to say? “I…” She couldn’t think of anything. What could she say to her little baby? That her father was going through some issues, and so obviously that even Linberg saw it before his own wife? What message would that impart on her? That their family wasn’t as perfect as it should be?

“Mama…not…know?”

“I…” Rayza tried, and failed to find the words once more. Resigning herself to this small defeat, she sighed. “No, Ciel. I don’t know.” She took Ciel’s hand and forced a smile. “Come on, let’s go. They’ve mixed northern pine into the bathwater today. It’ll make you smell really, really good.”

After closing the door behind them, Rayza led her daughter down the bend in the hall, towards the back of the inn. There was another counter there, though it stood empty. How odd, usually Linberg’s son manned it. Oh well, she thought, she knew her way around anyway. Behind the counter was a fork in the hallway. Both paths led to a small doorway covered behind a cloth curtain.

They passed through the one marked with a maneless lioness and entered the women’s changing room. Steam suffused with the invigorating smell of northern pine filled the room. Near the wall, thickly hand-woven baskets were neatly arranged for them to drop their laundry into, and above them stood a large shelf with many small square compartments for them to store their clean clothes. Rayza helped Ciel undress and placed their clothes into neighbouring compartments, before taking two towels from a pile near the bath’s entrance.

She helped her daughter tie it around her chest before doing the same for herself and heading into the bath. Enveloped by the refreshingly smelling steam, Rayza took a deep breath, and let out a relaxed sigh. This was just what she needed.

The garden-like bathing area was surrounded by large stone walls, leaving an open roof - not just for stargazers, but also for better airflow, according to Linberg. Natural stone walkways led to the main attraction: the large hotspring. It was constantly being fed water from the well on the grass through a tiny, almost puny aqueduct. Hardy trees, bushes and flowers from the North were planted to evoke the feeling of a hidden retreat in the midst of a forest.

And while the North and the Ashen Order it created may be the worst thing to happen to this world, Rayza had to admit that they knew how to sit back and relax. Taking off her towel, she sat on one of the large, smoothly-carved rocks lining the side of the bath, and dipped her toe into the water. Just a little hotter than she was comfortable with - perfect.

After placing her feet into the spring, she slid forward on the stone until she found the bottom. The warm gravel she found there lightly pushed back into her soles. Letting out a small moan, Rayza traced her feet back and forth, letting the stone dig into her feet, massaging away all the stress and tension.

“Mmh...” Rayza took off her towel, draping it over the rock and fully submerged herself in the water. After taking a moment to adjust to the temperature, she leaned against the smooth rock and closed her eyes. “Fuck…I missed this.”

“Mama?”

“Oh, shi-” Rayza’s eyes shot open. Her daughter was standing at the spring’s edge. Definitely in earshot. “You didn’t hear that, right?”

Ciel tilted her head in confusion. Probably didn’t know which word she meant, thank the Four.

“Good, let’s keep it that way.” Rayza mumbled before beckoning her closer. “Come on in, the water’s nice and warm.”

For a while, Ciel just stared at the water curiously. As Rayza raised an eyebrow, she then took a big step over the edge and…plummeted straight through the surface, landing in the spring face-first.

“Ciel!” Rayza quickly sat up and pulled her above the surface. “Are you hurt?!”

Ciel raised her open hand and watched as the water slipped through her fingers. She then turned to Rayza. “Can’t walk…on water?”

Mouth agape, Rayza took a moment to process what she just heard. She let out an involuntary snort that quickly turned to hearty laughter.

“No, Ciel.” She said, wiping off a tear. “No, we can’t walk on water.”

Ciel tried once more to grab hold of water, but failed again. “...drat.”

Wow. She really was her father’s child. Probably better if she inherited his vocabulary, Rayza thought, giggling to herself. After removing the now wet towel from Ciel’s chest, she folded and draped it over one of the warm rocks. Would probably have dried off by the time they were done. And in the meantime, it would serve as a great pillow.

Rayza did the same with her towel and leaned against it, after helping Ciel do the same. She then closed her eyes and breathed in the intense aroma. How lovely it was today - and lucky that there was no one else here. Linberg had closed the baths for the public, for their sake. Not that she was missing out on a lot of money, the big bathhouses near the center were soaking up all the profits.

Opening her eyes slightly, Rayza ran her fingers through Ciel’s hair. So soft and delicate, with no effort or care whatsoever, and yet so problematic. Maybe they should dye it. Speaking of, Rayza thought, might as well wash her own now that she had the chance. After removing the band around her hair and undoing her ponytail, she submerged her head beneath the water. She then came back up, running her fingers through her long, freed hair, relishing the feeling of the dirt coming off.

“Ow!” She hissed as her finger got stuck on a knot. It got tangled. Again. Examining her hand, she found a few strands stuck to her nails. Brittler than ever, looks like, and not gonna get any better. Well, that’s what she got for always wearing a ponytail.

“Mama…okay?”

“I’m fine, don’t worry. Just…hair problems.” You wouldn’t get it, Rayza thought as she ruffled Ciel’s hair. Ciel’s perfect, uncared for hair.

…fuck, she was getting jealous.

“Let’s get to washing, shall we?” Rayza smiled and pointed at a bucket on the other side of the spring. “Could you go fetch the bucket over there?”

Ciel nodded and headed off as Rayza tried to untangle her hair. As she watched the little one splish and splash her way over, she leaned back against the rock and looked up at the sky. Purples, reds and oranges clashed and melded in a beautiful palette. Was it sundown already? Damn, it felt like they just got here. Linberg did always preach that the good northern springs made you forget the time - and your worries, too. All just melt away.

“Gotta apologize to Linberg.” Rayza sighed. Her anger having dissipated, she could see now that she overreacted. Just a little. But to be fair, insinuating that Ciel posed any kind of problem to her and Ionyr’s relationship was frankly insulting.

Right?

But then again, Rayza thought biting her lip, what if there was some truth to that? Their intimate moments together had become few and far between. She couldn’t remember the last time they shared a bed, much less a kiss. Back at the Heart of the Forest, maybe? That was so long ago!

She was woken from her pondering by the splishing and splashing of Ciel coming closer.

“Thank you, dear.” Rayza smiled and took the bucket from her daughter’s hands. Along the outside was a belt holding various grooming tools - most prominently a large comb. Huh, odd. There was supposed to be a bar of soap in there too. “Hey Ciel, did you see a small…brick inside the bucket?”

“...mhm.” Ciel hummed.

“Right, where was it-” Rayza turned around to find Ciel nibbling on the exact thing she was looking for. She crossed her arms, and gave her a stern look. “Ciel, we don’t eat soap.”

“...sweet…sour…” Ciel said, continuing to munch along the edges like a little rabbit. Seemed like the Star had some acquired taste - her stomach could probably handle it, but the eyes of the public definitely couldn’t. Better break this habit early.

“Give it here.” Rayza held out her hand. Ciel stared for a moment, as if to buy some time to eat just a little more, before handing it over.

“Okay…” Why did Ciel sound so disappointed?

Rayza rolled her eyes and sat back down beside the spring. Of all the things to wake emotion in her, it was a bar of soap? What was she being so motherly for, then? She giggled a little at the absurdity of the situation as she foamed the bucket water with the soap. Once done, she led her daughter to the well, taking a seat on one of the stone benches around it and seating Ciel beside her.

“Here, let me show you how to take care of your hair.” Rayza took the comb, and dipped it into the fruity mixture. Then she bunched up a handful of Ciel’s hair and, slowly and tenderly, combed through it. Though a few pieces of dirt fell out, there was little change in how it looked. Seems like her daughter wouldn’t even need to know all this. As Rayza took another handful to comb, her mind began to wander.

Truth be told, she missed the passionate nights she spent with her husband. Simpler times, they were. But they couldn’t anymore, not with their daughter in the picture. She wanted her to remain innocent for as long as possible. She was willing to sacrifice her carnal desires for it. Hadn’t it all been just to achieve this result, anyhow?

What about Ionyr, though? Was he ready to give it up? Or was there something else he got from it? But what could it possibly be? From the start he’d sworn to give her a child, so now that they had a child, what was the point in making…love.

Rayza froze. Is that it? So Linberg wasn’t saying that Ciel was the problem - but her?

In her pursuit to become a good mother…had she neglected to be a good wife?