image [https://cdn.midjourney.com/5a7d2ce7-ac3b-4adf-a85f-8e457985e5b3/0_0.png]

With shaky hands, Vincent took out his smartphone from spatial storage and dialed his mother's number. A few weeks before, he had sent a message about his Isekai adventure through one of the people choosing to return, but what if his folks believed him crazy?

The phone rang twice, thrice, and continued without anyone answering. Vincent was about to hang up, discouraged, when he heard his mother's voice, panting. "Hello? Is it you, Vincent?"

"Yes!" he almost yelled. "I'm back in town!"

"So soon?" his mother asked with a normal everyday voice. "How was your trip?"

That startled Vincent. What did she mean by so soon? Was she OK with him staying in an alien realm and fighting monsters daily? "Err… yeah… It was quite an experience… Moment, please."

An insisting buzz distracted him from the conversation, akin to the automatic emergency alerts one receives about an impending natural disaster. The text was befuddling.

To Vincent Valaška,

To avoid creating panic, the public and the families of those involved were told the whole group was on an important expedition in the Amazon and hard to contact. We deliver reassuring messages every week. This is in everyone's best interests. If you receive this message, your phone has been detected as active on Earth. Please contact us at this number with any news you might have.

The Altenschloss family

"Sorry, mother, I had a call from… somebody else. I'm in town with a friend. Can we—"

"Hon, Vincent's coming too. Put two extra chairs!" Vincent's mother yelled. "Dinner at eight, sweetie, don’t come early, I'm busy cooking… Arabela is introducing her new boyfriend to us. I have a feeling this time is for real… I'm so excited… See you soon!"

"Fuck…" Vincent exhaled after hanging up.

"Troubles?" Ludwing asked. The King of the alternate Hungary sat quietly beside him with a serene expression. That was a total contrast with the murderous villain Vincent had strangled to near death a few hours before… almost getting himself killed in the process, too.

"My mother will cook dinner. Shit… that means we can’t eat anything before eight… the portions will be big, and I mean huge! No matter what you think about the food, tell her you like it. Mom's the kind to go to a three-star Michelin restaurant and tell the chef she can do better.”

"I'm a perfect gentleman," Ludwing frowned. "I always compliment the host!"

"Perfect. I'm counting on you. Now, let me make another call…"

Vincent’s fingers trembled. Even calling back the number with the message felt hard. Would Irene's parents be on the other end of the call? Nah, they're super rich. It will be a robot or a secretary, he tried to encourage himself.

"H-hello?" a voice stuttered on the phone, answering so quick Vincent didn't register the ring.

"This is Vincent Valaška. To whom am I speaking?"

"I'm Elina… I-Irene's mother…" the voice choked. "Is she—"

"Irene's OK."

"Thank goodness," the woman whispered, and she began to cry.

"Vincent saved her life moments before the evil entity possessing me turned her into a thrall," Ludwing rushed to add, approaching the phone. Vincent slackjawed.

"W-who is t-this?" the woman asked.

"Ludwing von Corvinus, King of Hungary, milady."

"Stop it, you idiot!" Vincent blurted, kicking Ludwing's shin and pushing him away. "It was nothing like that, just a misunderstanding… Irene was never in danger," he hissed, waving his fist at the king. "She's safe, with plenty of good people around her."

"She's still there?" a man's voice asked.

"Yeah… I got back by accident… But I might have a way to make the travel possible for her in the future."

"I'm sending a helicopter to—"

"I'm spending the evening with my parents. Tomorrow morning," Vincent said, closing the call abruptly. He could feel Irene's parents' anxiety, but he had his own priorities. They had manipulated the situation as they had seen fit, ignoring his friends' wishes, including Irene's. And tracking his phone? The rich bastards could wait. Then he remembered Ludwing’s intervention.

"What the heck were you doing?" Vincent yelled at Ludwing.

"That's no way to speak to your father, young man!" a passerby lady admonished the youngster on her way.

"Rising your status in your prospecting parents-in-law's eyes," Corvinus said smugly, obviously convinced he had done Vincent a favor.

Words were useless. Pulling the king after him, Vincent descended the alleys out of Hradcany Square. After traversing Mala Strana, they crossed the Charles Bridge.

"I want one of these," Corvinus said on the way. "But only with my statue."

Momentarily, the thought of strangling Ludwing for good, maybe in his sleep, was a serious contender in Vincent's options. But before that, he had to ensure the king would be presentable for dinner. He had all his clothes in his ring of holding, but Ludwing's shirt was bloodied from their fight. Considering buying a new one, he aimed for a clothes shop but then opted for a dry cleaning, explaining the blood to a nose bleeding. It was a cheaper solution; he was short on real money.

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An hour later, Corvinus was fresh and dandy. However, they still had two hours to kill, so Vincent gave him a tour of the city: the famous clock, the puppet opera, a few art-nouveau buildings, all extracting awed exclamations from the king, but not as much as the tram, who got Ludwing mesmerized.

Ultimately, they arrived at the 'Dancing House,' where Ludwing solemnly stated he would not have paid a penny to an architect unable to build a straight building. Vincent's parents lived in an apartment across the river, and in five minutes, they stood before the door, each a bouquet in hand.

"Hey, mom, dad. Sis!" Vincent hugged and kissed everyone on the cheeks. "Family, this is Ludwing. Ludwing, meet my family. My sister's name is Arabella, but she hates it for reasons, so call her Bella."

The king's forehead was creased with a deep furrow, and he absently shook the offered hands, looking around in befuddlement. "Why is the conversation room separated from the rest of the mansion?" he whispered to Vincent while they washed their hands in the bathroom.

"You think we owe all the building?" Vincent gasped. "No, man, this is all. A three-room apartment on the riverfront in Smichov. Dad sold all his inheritance in Spain to afford it."

"Your heroism is so much more impressive considering your humble origin," Corvinus nodded.

"Please, just shut up while we eat. Promise me!"

The dinner began with a short prayer from Vincent's mother, to which Ludwing added loud Amens, crossing himself ten times. The mood was pleasant, and the food excellent. Ludwing was moaning with pleasure at each bite, rolling his eyes, which extremely pleased the cook, Vincent's mother.

Vincent's sister, a clew of energy, always made jokes. The current boyfriend, a polite and well-dressed man named Peter, looked at her with adoration and reluctantly left at ten after the young woman frowned a few times, explicitly stating she wanted to sleep at home to catch up with her brother.

"So, Bella?" Vincent's father asked after the door closed. "Is he the one?"

"I don't knooooooow," the girl wailed. "It's so hard to find a good man these days… He's nice, but… I just don't know… I wish there was a way to know for real if he's my knight in shiny armor. Some test, or—"

"Oh, for fuck's sake," Vincent groaned. "I'll give him a test just now!" Saying that, he rushed out the door, calling the boyfriend two stories down on the way to the exit.

"Don't hurt him!" Arabella yelled over the staircase.

"Come back. We have a family matter to discuss together," Vincent yelled over the railing.

"I proposed, but she said she needs more time," the man defended himself when he arrived back.

"It's not that." Once back in the dining room, Vincent made sure everyone was sitting before facing his mother. "Mom, this is the best day of your life. The day your dreams come true."

"Y-you're engaged again?" the woman stuttered. "Is he your father-in—"

"I present to you mister Rumburaku," Vincent gestured toward Ludwing.

"Pardon?" the king jerked. "Who's—"

"A character in a TV series my mom is a fan of. Big fan. Like obsessed. It's about people traveling between our world and a realm with magic."

"Aaaah, I see!" Ludwing nodded.

"What's going on, Vincent?" his mother asked.

"Long story short, I was not in the Amazon. My group and I were summoned to a magical realm. For the last three weeks, I have battled monsters and learned magic. This guy here is—"

"Ludwing von Corvinus, ruler of Hungary," the king kissed Vincent's mother's hand. "Delighted to meet you and blessed to have tasted your food."

"It's n-nothing," the woman blushed.

"You think he'll accept?" Vincent caught a whisper Peter asked his sister.

"Accept what?"

"Peter is a psychiatrist," Bella explained. "He's working in the best hospital. You can be admitted as a patient in less than an hour. Please, Vincent, it's for your own good."

"Ludwing, touch my ring and transform into a raven!" Vincent ordered. There were other options, but he risked ruining the furniture.

The king sulked. "You're sure? I might vomit… I don’t feel well when I change soon after eating."

"Do it, or else!"

Approaching the forwarded hand, Ludwing touched the ring. His clothes melted inside his body, replaced by black feathers, and in seconds, a black bird sat on the carpet instead of the middle-aged man. Seeing it for the first time, Vincent was surprised by the size of the raven, much larger than he imagined. Everybody yelped in panic.

"Don't be afraid; I won't hurt you," Ludwing croaked. They continued screaming until he changed back.

"Do you believe me now? I can also teleport if you want more proof. It will consume some Karmic Charges, but—"

"Can I see your ring?" Vincent's father asked.

"If you must," the young man sighed, forwarding the item. "It allows me to do magic on Earth too, but won't work on you."

Vincent's father frowned at him, took the ring, and disappeared into the next room. Five minutes later—in which the dining room plunged into awkward silence—he returned with the ring in hand, held at arm's length like a snake, the man's hand shaking.

"Either our son has lost it, or he speaks the truth. Arguments for the first… well… all he said. Arguments for the second, the… mass hypnosis he put us through—"

"I assure you, dear sir, changing into a raven is nothing to me," Ludwing said.

"–and this ring," Vincent's father continued.

"Dad's a jeweler," Vincent said. “He has a small shop. Nothing expensive, mostly custom jewels.”

"It's a rose cut, about six carats, maybe a little less… mounted in metallic glass gold, yet looking very old. Somebody engraved drawings on a few facets, and one is destroyed, but even like this, I could recut it to get at least a hundred thousand euros worth of a stone… If it would be perfect, this would be worth north of two hundred and fifty—"

"I have more," Vincent said, snatching the ring and willing his stash of diamonds to appear over the table, falling in a tiny cascade of glittering crystals. "Some belong to the guild, but I'm sure they won't object if I sell one to get some emergency funds. After all, I saved their lives."

"Tell us everything!" Vincent''s sister clapped her hands.

And so he did. The story took another hour, with Vincent showing them photos and getting back on details when they asked. Ludwing added his version in the process, trying to appear less evil but admitting his family had used necromancy for centuries. There was a bit of silent weight in the air for a while until the king mentioned Irene, the pretty cat girl Vincent liked, and the latter was obliged to produce a photo and confess everything under the unrelenting assault of questions from his mother and sister.

"Wow… Just wow… And I thought Bella had a nuts brother," Peter joked at the end. "If I may be excused… I have to get up early tomorrow… Hospital duty…" he winked. "Truthfully, I was sure you would be my guest."

"No, thank you," Vincent hissed, pulling back the diamonds into storage, except one, which he offered his father. "Think you can sell it? Discreetly?"

"Without the authorities or the mafia noticing? Not a chance. Maybe if I cut it into—"

"OK, here's some gold." Vincent took back the stone, putting a stash of a hundred coins on the table. "You can melt it, right?"

"That's more like it," his father said, pocketing the metal.

"I'll come with you," Bella told her boyfriend. "If Ludwing is staying, they'll need the space. And don’t worry, I can vouch for Peter’s discretion," she gave a meaningful look to her boyfriend, conveying a clear ‘Tell the secret to anyone, and we’re done!’

The two found left, escorted out by Bella and Vincent’s parents. Now, all that remained was to get to sleep. Vincent's old room, which had meanwhile transformed into a guest room with two beds, was free, yet he was not willing to trust an evil warlord with his life despite his Arcane Insight telling him he was safe.

"Say, Ludwing… what if you turn back into a raven, and I shut you in the bathroom for the night?"

"Vincent!" his mother yelled from the living room. "I won't have such an attitude in my house. I have a good eye for people; his highness is to be trusted. You two, chop chop, go to sleep, now! You're both tired."

Any argument was useless; that much was clear. Vincent's father offered Ludwing one of his pajamas, and soon, the two men were lying in parallel beds, with the moon lighting the room.

"You want to get to the bathroom; you make sure I'm awake first," Vincent whispered, taking the revolver out of storage and putting it under his hand. "If I hear steps and you don't warn me, I shoot. And God forbid you snore, or I'll kill you on the—what the fuck? Hey!"

Despite him raising his voice and even throwing a pillow in Ludwing's head, the king was already asleep, snoring like a faulty motorcycle engine.